best kind of plum; not a whit, I take upon me to fay it is not a noun fubftantive plumwith plenty of fugar it does pretty well indeed in a tart, but to eat it by itself, will Mr. Serjeant go to compare it with the queen mother, the padrigons

SERJEANT.

[Appearing fuddenly from under the gown.] The green gages, or the orlines.

Mrs. CIRCUIT.

As I live 'tis my husband!

SERJEANT.

Nay, Sir Luke don't you run away too-give me a bufs-fince I was born, I never heard a finer reply; I am forry I did not hear your argument out-but I cou'd not refist.

Sir LUK E.

This I own was a little furprise-had you been long here Mr. Serjeant?

SER JEAN T.

But the inftant you enter'd.

Sir LUK E.

So, then all is fafe.

[Afide.]

SERJEANT.

But come, won't you refresh you, Sir Lukeyou have had hard duty to day.

Sir LUK E.

I drank very freely at table.

SERJEANT.

Nay, for the matter of that, I ha'n't been idle; [both drink.] But come, throw off your gown, and let us finish the bottle: I ha'n't had fuch a mind to be merry I can't tell the day when.

Sir LUK E.

Nay then, Mr. Serjeant, have at you-come, here's long life and health to the law. [Drinks.]

SER

SER JEAN T.

I'll pledge that toaft in a bumper.-[Drinks.] -I'll take Charlot's hint, and fee if I can't draw the truth out of the Knight by a bottle. [Afide.]

Sir LUK E.

I'll try if I can't fuddle the fool, and get rid of him that way. [Afide.]

SER JEAN T.

I could not have thought it: why where the deuce did you pick up all this? But by the bye, pray who was the cryer?

Sir LUK E.

Did not you know her? Mrs. Simper, your neighbour.

SER JEAN T.

A peftilent jade! fhe's a good one I warrant.

Sir LUK E.

She is thought very pretty; what say you to a glass in her favor?

SER JEAN T.

By all means in the world! [they drink] and that spark the clerk?

Sir LUK E.

Colonel Secret, a friend to the lady you toasted.

SER JEAN T.

A friend! oh, ay-I understand you-come, let us join 'em together.

Sir LUK E.

Alons. [drink.] Egad, I fhall be caught in my own trap, I begin to feel myself flufter'd

already.

SERJEANT.

[Afide.]

Delicate white wine, indeed! I like it better

every glass. [Sings.]

Drink and drive care away,
Drink and be merry.

Sir LUK E.

True, my dear Serjeant-this is the fearcher of fecrets-the only key to the heart.

SER JEAN T.

Right boy, in veritas vino.

Sir LUK E.

No deceit in a bumper. [Sings.] Drink and be merry.

SER JEAN T.

Merry! dammee, what a fweet fellow you are; what would I give, to be half fo jolly and gay.

Sir LUKE.

[Appearing very drunk.] Would you? and yet do you know, Serjeant, that at this very juncture of time, there is a thing has popp'd into my head, that diftreffes me very much.

SERJEANT.

Then drive it out with a bumper [Drink.] Well, how is it now.

Sir LUK E.

Now!-the matter is not mended at all.

SER JEAN T.

What the deuce is the business that so sticks in your ftomach.

Sir LUK E.

You know, my dear Serjeant, I am your friend, your real, your affectionate friend.

SERJEANT.
I believe, it Sir Luke.

Sir LUK E.

And yet, for these fix months, I have conceal'd a fecret, that touches you near, very

near

SERJEANT.

Me near! That was wrong, very wrong; friends should have all things in common.

Sir LUK E.

That's what I faid to myfelf; Sir Luke, fays I, open your heart to your friend; but to tell you the truth, what fealed up my lips, was the fear that this fecret fhould make you fulky and fad. SERJEANT.

Me fulky and fad! ha! ha! how little you know of me.

Sir LUK E.

Swear then that you won't be uneafy.

Well, I do.

SERJEANT.

Sir LUK È.

[Rifing.] Soft! let us fee that all's fafe; well, Mr. Serjeant, do you know that you are -a fine, honeft fellow?

SERJEANT.

Is that such a secret?

Sir LUK E.

Be quiet; a damn'd honeft fellow-but as to your wife

Well?

SER JEAN T.

Sir LUK E.

She is an infamous ftrum

SERJEANT.

How! it is a falfhood Sir Luke, my wife is as virtuous a wom

Sir LUK E..

Oh! if you are angry, your fervant-I thought that the news would have pleas'd you -for after all, what is the business to me? What do I get by the bargain?

SER JEAN T.

That's true; but then would it not vex any man to hear his wife abus'd in fuch a

Sir

LUK E.

Not if it's true, you old fool.

K

SER

1

SERJEANT.

Ifay it is falfe: prove it; give me that fatisfaction Sir Luke.

Sir LUK E.

Oh! you shall have that pleasure directly, and to come at once to the point-you remember laft New-year's day how feverely it froze.

SERJEANT.

I do recollect.

Sir LUKE.

Very well; we are all invited to dine at Alderman Inkle's.

Sir LUK E.

Well, and I did not go: Mrs. Circuit made me dine here, in this houfe-was it my fault? SERJEANT.

No, no, Sir Luke, no.

Sir LUK E.

At table fays fhefhe faid, I was the picture of you-was it my fault?

SERJEANT.

Well, and fuppofe you are; where's the mifchief in that?

Sir LUK E.

Be quiet, I tell you; then throwing her arms round my neck,it is my husband himself I embrace, it is my little old man that I kifs!for fhe has a prodigious affection for you at bottom-was it my fault?

SERJEANT.
But what is there ferious in this, doft think
I mind fuch trifles?

Sir LUKE.

Hold your tongue, you fool, for a momentthen throwing her Terefa afide-upon my foul fhe is prodigious fine every where here was it my fault?

SER