You barely leave our thorns to prick ourselves But the plain single vow that is vow'd true. If I should swear by God's great attributes, When I did love you ill? This has no holding, To swear by him whom I protest to love, Are words and poor conditions, but unseal'd, 31 off, Dia. For which live long to thank both heaven and me! You may so in the end. My mother told me just how he would woo, As if she sat in 's heart; she says all men 70 Have the like oaths: he had sworn to marry me When his wife's dead; therefore I'll lie with him When I am buried. Since Frenchmen are so braid, Marry that will, I live and die a maid : Enter the two French Lords and some two or three Soldiers. First Lord. You have not given him his mother's letter? Sec. Lord. I have delivered it an hour since: there is something in't that stings his nature; for on the reading it he changed almost into another man. First Lord. He has much worthy blame laid upon him for shaking off so good a wife and so sweet a lady. 9 Sec. Lord. Especially he hath incurred the overlasting displeasure of the king, who had even tuned his bounty to sing happiness to him. I will tell you a thing, but you shall let it dwell darkly with you. First Lord. When you have spoken it, 'tis dead, and I am the grave of it. Sec. Lord. He hath perverted a young gentlewoman here in Florence, of a most chaste renown; and this night he fleshes his will in the spoil of her honor: he hath given her his monumental ring, and thinks himself made in the unchaste composition. First Lord. Now, God delay our rebellion! as we are ourselves, what things are we! Sec. Lord. Merely our own traitors. And as in the common course of all treasons, we still see them reveal themselves, till they attain to their abhorred ends, so he that in this SCENE III.] ALL'S WELL THAT ENDS WELL. action contrives against his own nobility, his proper stream o'erflows himself. in 30 First Lord. Is it not meant damnable in us, to be trumpeters of our unlawful intents? We shall not then have his company to-night? Sec. Lord. Not till after midnight; for he is dieted to his hour. First Lord. That approaches apace; I would gladly have him see his company anatomized, that he might take a measure of his own judgments, wherein so curiously he had set this counterfeit. 40 Sec. Lord. We will not meddle with him till he come; for his presence must be the whip of the other. First Lord. In the mean time, what hear you of these wars? Sec. Lord. I hear there is an overture of peace. First Lord. Nay, I assure you, a peace concluded. Sec. Lord. then? will he into France ? What will Count Rousillon do 51 First Lord. I perceive, by this demand, you are not altogether of his council. Sec. Lord. Let it be forbid, sir; so should I be a great deal of his act. First Lord. Sir, his wife some two months since fled from his house: her pretence is a pilgrimage to Saint Jaques le Grand; which holy undertaking with most austere sanctimony she accomplished; and, there residing, the tenderness of her nature became as a prey to her grief; in fine, made a groan of her last breath, and now she sings in heaven. Sec. Lord. How is this justified? First Lord. The stronger part of it by her own letters, which makes her story true, even to the point of her death: her death itself, which could not be her office to say is come, 60 was faithfully confirmed by the rector of the place. Sec. Lord. Hath the count all this intelligence? First Lord. Ay, and the particular confirmations, point from point, so to the full arming of the verity. Sec. Lord. I am heartily sorry that he'll be glad of this. First Lord. How mightily sometimes we make us comforts of our losses! Sec. Lord. And how mightily some other times we drown our gain in tears! The great dignity that his valor hath here acquired for him shall at home be encountered with a shame as ample. First Lord. The web of our life is of a mingled yarn, good and ill together: our virtues would be proud, if our faults whipped them not; and our crimes would despair, if they were not cherished by our virtues. Enter a Messenger. How now! where's your master? Serv. He met the duke in the street, sir, of whom he hath taken a solemn leave his lord- Sec. Lord. They shall be no more than First Lord. They cannot be too sweet for the king's tartness. Here's his lordship now. Enter BERTRAM. How now, my lord! is't not after midnight? Ber. I have to-night dispatched sixteen businesses, a month's length a-piece, by an abstract of success: I have congied with the duke, done my adieu with his nearest; buried a wife, mourned for her; writ to my lady mother I am returning; entertained my convoy; and between these main parcels of dispatch effected many nicer needs; the last was the greatest, but that I have not ended yet. Sec. Lord. If the business be of any difficulty, and this morning your departure hence, it requires haste of your lordship. 109 Ber. I mean, the business is not ended, as But shall we fearing to hear of it hereafter. have this dialogue between the fool and the soldier? Come, bring forth this counterfeit module, he has deceived me, like a doublemeaning prophesier. Sec. Lord. Bring him forth has sat i' the stocks all night, poor gallant knave. Ber. No matter; his heels have deserved 120 it, in usurping his spurs so long. How does he carry himself? Sec. Lord. I have told your lordship already, But to answer you as the stocks carry him. you would be understood; he weeps like a wench that had shed her milk: he hath confessed himself to Morgan, whom he supposes to be a friar, from the time of his remembrance to this very instant disaster of his setting the 129 stocks and what think you he hath confessed? Ber. Nothing of me, has a'? Sec. Lord. His confession is taken, and it shall be read to his face if your lordship be in't, as I believe you are, you must have the patience to hear it. Enter PAROLLES guarded, and First Soldier. Ber. A plague upon him! muffled! he can say nothing of me : hush, hush! First Lord. Hoodman comes! Portotarta rosa. First Sold. He calls for the tortures: what will you say without 'em? Par. I will confess what I know without constraint if ye pinch me like a pasty, I can say no more. First Sold. Bosko chimurcho. First Lord. 141 Boblibindo chicurmurco, Par. And truly, as I hope to live. First Sold. [Reads] F demand of him First Lord. You're deceived, my lord: this is Monsieur Parolles, the gallant militarist,that was his own phrase,-that had the whole theoric of war in the knot of his scarf, and the practice in the chape of his dagger. Sec. Lord. I will never trust a man again for keeping his sword clean, nor believe he can have every thing in him by wearing his apparel neatly. 169 First Sold. Well, that's set down. Par. Five or six thousand horse, I said,-I will say true, or thereabouts, set down, for I'll speak truth. First Lord. He's very near the truth in this. Ber. But I con him no thanks for't, in the nature he delivers it. Par. Poor rogues, I pray you, say. First Sold. Well, that's set down. Par. I humbly thank you, sir: a truth's a truth, the rogues are marvellous poor. 179 First Sold. [Reads] Demand of him, of what strength they are a-foot.' What say you to that? Par. By my troth, sir, if I were to live this present hour, I will tell true. Let me see : Spurio, a hundred and fifty; Sebastian, so many; Corambus, so many; Jaques, so many; Guiltian, Cosmo, Lodowick, and Gratii, two hundred and fifty each; mine own company, Chitopher, Vaumond, Bentii, two hundred and fifty each so that the muster-file, rotten and sound, upon my life, amounts not to fifteen thousand poll; half of the which dare not shake the snow from off their cassocks, lest they shake themselves to pieces. Ber. What shall be done to him? First Lord. Nothing, but let him have thanks. Demand of him my condition, and what credit I have with the duke. First Sold. Well, that's set down. [Reads] 'You shall demand of him, whether one Captain Dumain be the camp, a Frenchman; what his reputation is with the duke; what his valor, honesty, and expertness in wars; or whether he thinks it were not possible, with well-weighing sums of gold, to corrupt him to a revolt.' What say you to this? what do you know of it? Far. I beseech you, let me answer to the particular of the inter'gatories: demand them singly. First Sold. Do you know this captain Dumain? 210 Par. I know him: a' was a botcher's 'pren- | tice in Paris, from whence he was whipped for getting the shrieve's fool with child,—a dumb innocent, that could not say him nay. Ber. Nay, by your leave, hold your hands; though I know his brains are forfeit to the next tile that falls. First Sold. Well, is this captain in the duke of Florence's camp? 219 Par. Upon my knowledge, he is, and lousy. First Lord. Nay, look not so upon me; we shall hear of your lordship anon. First Sold. What is his reputation with the duke ? Pur. The duke knows him for no other but a poor officer of mine; and writ to me this other day to turn him out o' the band : I think I have his letter in my pocket. First Sold. Marry, we'll search. 229 Par. In good sadness, I do not know; either it is there, or it is upon a file with the duke's other letters in my tent. First Sold. Here 'tis ; here's a paper : shall I read it to you? Par. I do not know if it be it or no. First Sold. [Reads] Dian, the count's a fool, and full of gold,' Par. That is not the duke's letter, sir; that is an advertisement to a proper maid in Florence, one Diana, to take heed of the allurement of one Count Rousillon, a foolish idle boy, but for all that very ruttish: I pray you, sir, put it up again. First Sold. Nay, I'll read it first, by your favor. Par. My meaning in't, I protest, was very honest in the behalf of the maid; for I knew the young count to be a dangerous and lascivious boy, who is a whale to virginity and devours up all the fry it finds. 250 Ber. Damnable both-sides rogue! First Sold. [Reads] When he swears oaths, bid him drop gold, and take it; After he scores, he never pays the score: Half won is match well made; match, and well make it ; He ne'er pays after-debts, take it before; And say a soldier, Dian, told thee this, Men are to mell with, boys are not to kiss: For count of this, the count's a fool, I know it, Who pays before, but not when he does owe it. Thine, as he vowed to thee in thine ear, 260 PAROLLES.' Ber. He shall be whipped through the army with this rhyme in's forehead. Sec. Lord. This is your devoted friend, sir, the manifold linguist and the armipotent soldier. Ber. I could endure any thing before but a cat, and now he's a cat to me. First Sold. I perceive, sir, by the general's looks, we shall be fain to hang you. 269 Par. My life, sir, in any case: not that I am afraid to die; but that, my offences being many, I would repent out the remainder of SCENE IV.] : ALL'S WELL THAT ENDS WELL. nature let me live, sir, in a dungeon, i' the stocks, or any where, so I may live. First Sold. We'll see what may be done, So you confess freely; therefore, once more to this Captain Dumain: you have answered to his reputation with the duke and to his valor: what is his honesty? 279 Par. He will steal, sir, an egg out of a cloister for rapes and ravishments he parallels Nessus: he professes not keeping of oaths; in breaking 'em he is stronger than Hercules: he will lie, sir, with such volubility, that you would think truth were a fool: drunkenness is his best virtue, for he will be swine-drunk ; and in his sleep he does little harm, save to his bed-clothes about him; but they know his conditions and lay him in straw. I have but little more to say, sir, of his honesty he has every thing that an honest man should not have; what an honest man should have, he has nothing. First Lord. I begin to love him for this. Ber. For this description of thine honesty? A pox upon him for me, he's more and more a cat. First Sold. What say you to his expertness in war? Par. Faith, sir, he has led the drum before the English tragedians; to belie him, I will not, and more of his soldiership I know not; except, in that country he had the honor to be the officer at a place there called Mile-end, to instruct for the doubling of files: I would do the man what honor I can, but of this I am not certain. First Lord. He hath out-villained villany so far, that the rarity redeems him. Ber. A pox on him, he's a cat still. First Sold. His qualities being at this poor price, I need not to ask you if gold will corrupt him to revolt. 310 Par. Sir, for a quart d'écu he will sell the fee-simple of his salvation, the inheritance of it; and cut the entail from all remainders, and a perpetual succession for it perpetually. First Sold. What's his brother, the other Sec. Lord. Why does he ask him of me? Par. E'en a crow o' the same nest; not altogether so great as the first in goodness, but greater a great deal in evil: he excels his brother for a coward, yet his brother is reputed one of the best that is: in a retreat he outruns any lackey; marry, in coming on he has the cramp. First Sold. If your life be saved, will you Par. Ay, and the captain of his horse, First Sold. I'll whisper with the general, 330 Par. [Aside] I'll no more drumming; a plague of all drums! Only to seem to deserve well, and to beguile the supposition of that lascivious young boy the count, have I run into this danger. Yet who would have sus- First Sold. There is no remedy, sir, but 349 to my Lord Lafeu? I am for France. [Exit with Soldiers. Par. Yet am I thankful: if my heart were great, "Twould burst at this. Captain I'll be no more; braggart, 370 Let him fear this, for it will come to pass [Exu. There's place and means for every man alive. I'll after them. SCENE IV. Florence. The Widow's house. Enter HELENA, Widow, and DIANA. Hel. That you may well perceive I have not wrong'd you, One of the greatest in the Christian world Ere I can perfect mine intents, to kneel: And answer, thanks: I duly am inform'd 11 20 As it hath fated her to be my motive When saucy trusting of the cozen'd thoughts Dia. Let death and honesty Go with your impositions, I am yours Upon your will to suffer." Hel. Yet, I pray you: 30 But with the word the time will bring on sum mer, When briers shall have leaves as well as thorns, And be as sweet as sharp. We must away; Our wagon is prepared, and time revives us : ALL'S WELL THAT ENDS WELL: still the fine's the crown; Whate'er the course, the end is the renown. [Exeunt. SCENE V. Rousillon. The COUNT's palace. Enter COUNTESS, LAFEU, and CLOWN. Laf. No, no, no, your son was misled with a snipt-taffeta fellow there, whose villanous saffron would have made all the unbaked and doughy youth of a nation in his color: your daughter-in-law had been alive at this hour, and your son here at home, more advanced by the king than by that red-tailed humble-bee I speak of. Count. I would I had not known him; it was the death of the most virtuous gentleWoman that ever nature had praise for creating. If she had partaken of my flesh, and cost me the dearest groans of a mother, could not have owed her a more rooted love. Laf. 'Twas a good lady, 'twas a good lady: we may pick a thousand salads ere we light on such another herb. Clo. Indeed, sir, she was the sweet marjoram of the salad, or rather, the herb of grace. Laf. They are not herbs, you knave; they are nose-herbs. 20 Clo. I am no gret Nebuchadnezzar, sir ; I have not much skill in grass. Laf. Whether dost thou profess thyself, a knave or a fool? Clo. A fool, sir, at a woman's service, and a knave at a man's. Laf. Your distinction ? Why, sir, if I cannot serve you, I can serve as great a prince as you are. Laf. Who's that? a Frenchman ? 40 Clo. Faith, sir, a' has an English name; but his fisnomy is more hotter in France than there. Laf. What prince is that? Clo. The black prince, sir; alias, the prince of darkness; alias, the devil. Laf. Hold thee, there's my purse: I give thee not this to suggest thee from thy master thou talkest of; serve him still. Clo. I am a woodland fellow, sir, that always loved a great fire; and the master I speak of ever keeps a good fire. But, sure, he is the prince of the world; let his nobility remain in's court. I am for the house with the narrow gate, which I take to be too little for pomp to enter: some that humble themselves may; but the many will be too chill and tender, and they'll be for the flowery way that leads to the broad gate and the great fire. Laf. Go thy ways, I begin to be aweary of thee; and I tell thee so before, because I would not fall out with thee. Go thy ways: let my horses be well looked to, without any tricks. Clo. If I put any tricks upon 'em, sir, they shall be jades' tricks; which are their own right by the law of nature. [Exit. Laf. A shrewd knave and an unhappy. Count. So he is. My lord that's gone made himself much sport out of him by his authority he remains here, which he thinks is a patent for his sauciness; and, indeed, he has no pace, but runs where he will. 71 Laf. I like him well; 'tis not amiss. And I was about to tell you, since I heard of the good lady's death and that my lord your son was upon his return home, I moved the king my master to speak in the behalf of my daughter; which, in the minority of them both, his majesty, out of a self-gracious remembrance, did first propose: his highness hath promised me to do it: and, to stop up the displeasure he hath conceived against your son, there is no fitter matter. How does your ladyship like it? Count. With very much content, my lord; and I wish it happily effected. Laf. His highness comes post from Marseilles, of as able body as when he numbered thirty he will be here to-morrow, or I am deceived by him that in such intelligence hath seldom failed. Count. It rejoices me, that I hope I shall see him ere I die. I have letters that my son |