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OFT has it been my lot to mark A proud, conceited, talking spark, With eyes that hardly serv'd at most To guard their master 'gainst a post: Yet round the world the blade has been To see whatever could be seen. Returning from his finish'd tout, Grown ten times perter than before Whatever word you chance to drop, The travell'd fool your mouth will stop; Sir, if my judgment you'll allow
"I've seen and sure I ought to know"So begs you'd pay a due submission, And acquiesce in his decision.
Two travellers of such a cast, As o'er Arabia's wilds they pass'd, And on their way in friendly chat Now talk'd of this, and then of that, Discours'd awhile, 'mongst other matter, Of the Chamelion's form and nature. "A stranger animal," cries one, "Sure never liv'd beneath the sun : "A lizard's body lean and long, “A fish's head, a serpent's tongue, "Its foot, with triple claw disjoin'd; "And what a length of tail behind!
How slow its pace! and then its hue,— "Who ever saw so fine a blue?"
"Hold there," the other quick replies, ""Tis green-I saw it with these eyes, "As late with open mouth it lay, "And warm'd it in the sunny ray; "Stretch'd at its ease the beast I view'd, "And saw it eat the air for food."
"I've seen it, Sir, as well as you, And must again affirm it blue; "At leisure I the beast survey'd, "Extended in the cooling shade."
"'Tis green, 'tis green, Sir, I assure ye❞— "Green!" cries the other, in a fury"Why, Sir-d'ye think I've lost my eyes?" 'Twere no great loss," the friend replies, "For if they always serve you thus, "You'll find 'em but of little use." So high at last the contest rose, From words they almost came to blows: When luckily came by a third; To him the question they referr'd; And begg'd he'd tell 'em, if he knew, Whether the thing was green or blue. "Sirs," cries the umpire,
cease your pother"The creature's neither one nor t'other. "I caught the animal last night, "And view'd it o'er by candle-light: "I mark'd it well-'twas black as jet"You stare-but, Sirs, I've got it yet, "And can produce it."-" Pray, Sir, do: "I'll lay my life the thing is blue.” "And I'll be sworn, that when you've seen "The reptile, you'll pronounce him green. "Well then, at once to ease the doubt," Replies the man, 66 I'll turn him out: "And when before your eyes I've set him, "If you don't find him black, I'll eat him." He said; then full before their sight Produc'd the beast, and lo!-'twas white. Both star'd, the man look'd wondrous wise "My children," the Chamelion cries, (Then first the creature found a tongue,) You all are right, and all are wrong: "When next you talk of what you view, "Think others see as well as you: "Nor wonder, if you find that none "Prefers your eye-sight to his own."
THE YOUTH AND THE PHILOSOPHER.
A GRECIAN Youth, of talents rare,
Would often boast his matchless skill,
Was praise and transport to his breast.
At length, quite vain, he needs would show His master what his art could do;
And bade his slaves the chariot lead
To Academus' sacred shade.
The trembling grove confess'd its fright,
Howe'er the youth, with forward air,
Triumphant to the goal return'd,
Amazement seiz'd the circling crowd,
And when the charioteer drew nigh,
And, flush'd with hope, bad caught his eye,
Expect no praise from me, (and sigh'd,)
With indignation I survey
Such skill and judgment thrown away,
WHERE London's column, pointing at the skies,
A plain good man, and Balaam was his name;
His word would pass for more than he was worth.
An added pudding solemniz'd the Lord's:
Constant at Church, and 'Change; his gains were sure,
The Devil was piqu'd such saintship to behold,
And tempts by making rich, not making poor.
Asleep and naked as an Indian lay,
He pledg'd it to the knight; the knight had wit,
Şonie scruple rose, but thus he eas'd his thought,
I'll now give sixpence where I gave a groat;
"Where once I went to Church, I'll now go twice"And am so clear too of all other vice.
The Tempter saw his time; the work he ply'd;
Behold Sir Balaam now a man of spirit,
There (so the Devil ordain'd) one Christmas-tide
A Nymph of Quality admires our Knight,