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Claud. If I fee any thing to-night why I should not marry her to-morrow; in the Congregation, where I should wed, there will I fame her.
Pedro. And as I wooed for thee to obtain her, I will join with thee to disgrace her.
John. I will disparage her no farther, 'till you are my witnesses ; bear it coldly but 'till night, and let the ifue lhew itself.
Pedro. O day untowardly turned !
John. O plague right well prevented!
SCENE changes to the Street,
Dogb. A Verso Vea, or else it were pity but they
Enter Dogberry and Verges, with ibe Watch.
RE you good men ? should suffer salvation, body and soul.
Dogb. Nay, that were a punishment too good for them, if they should have any allegiance in them, being chosen for the Prince's Watch,
Verg. Well, give 'em their charge, neighbour Doge berry.
Dogb. First, who think you the most defartless man to be constable.
1 Watch. Hugh Oatesake, Sir, or George Seacole ; for they can write and read.
Dogb. Come hither, neighbour Seacole: God hath bleft you with a good name; and to be a well-favour'd man is the gift of fortune, but to write and read comes by nature.
2 Watch. Both which, mafter constable Dogb. You have : I knew it would be your answer. Well, for your Favour, Sir, why, give God thanks, and make no boast of it; and for your writing and reading, let that appear when there is no need of such vanity; you are thought here to be the most fenseless
and fit man for the Constable of the Watch, therefore bear you the lanthorn ; this is your charge : you shall comprehend all vagrom men ; you are to bid any man ftand in the Prince's name.
2 Watch. How if he will not stand?
Dogb. Why, then take no note of him, but let him go ; and presently call the rest of the Watch together, and thank God you are rid of a knave.
Verg: If he will not stand when he is bidden, he is none of the Prince's Sub ects.
Dogb. True, and they are to meddle with none but the Prince's Subjets : you shall also make no noise in the streets ; for, for the watch to babble and talk, is molt tolerable, and not to be endur'd.
2 Watch. We will rather sleep, than talk; we know what belongs to a Watch.
Dogb. Why you speak like an ancient and most quiet watchman, for I cannot see how sleeping Mould offend; only have a care that your Bills be not ttolen : well, you are to call at all the ale-houses, and bid them that
them to bed. 2 Watch. How if they will not ?
Dogb. Why, then let them alone 'till they are sober ; if they make you not then the better answer, you may say, they are not the men you took them for. 2 Watch. Well, Sir.
Dogb. If you meet a thief, you may suspect him by virtue of your office to be no true man; and for such kind of men, the leis you meddle or make with them, why, the more is for your honesty,
2 Watch. If we know him to be a thief, shall we not lay hands on him?
Dogb. Truly, by your office you may ; but, I think, they that touch pitch will be defiled : the most peaceable way
you, if you do take a thief, is, to let him thew himself what he is, and steal out of your company.
Verg. You have been always called a merciful man, Partner.
Dogb. Truly, I would not hang a dog by my will, much more a man who hath any honesty in him.
Verg. If you hear a child cry in the night, you must call to the nurse and bid her ftill it.
2 Watch. How if the nurse be asleep, and will not hear us?
Dogb. Why, then depart in peace, and let the child wake her with crying : for the ewe that will not hear her lamb when it baes, will never answer a calf when he bleats.
Verg. 'Tis very true.
Dogb. This is the end of the charge : you, constable, are to present the Prince's own person; if you meet the Prince in the night, you may itay him.
Verg. Nay, birlady, that, I think, he cannot.
Dogb. Five shillings to one on't with any man that knows the Statues, he may stay him ; marry, not without the Prince be willing: for, indeed, the Watch ought to offend no man; and it is an offence to itay a man against his will. Verg. Birlady, I think, it be so.
Dogb. Ha, ha, ha! well, masters, good night; an there be any matter of weight chances, call up me; keep your fellow's counsels and your own, and good night ; come, neighbour. 2 Watch. Well, matters, we hear our charge ; let sit hure
upon the church-bench 'till two, and then all to bed.
Dogb. One word more, honest neighbours. I pray you, watch about Signior Leonato's door, for the wedding being there to-morrow, there is a great coil tonight ; adieu ; be vigilant, I beseech you.
(Exeunt Dogberry and Verges.
Enter Borachio and Conrade.
Bora. What? Conrade, -
Bora. Mass, and my elbow itch'd, I thought there would a scab follow,
Conr. I will owe thee an answer for that, and now forward with thy tale.
Bura. Stand 'thee close then uøder this pent-house, for it drizzles rain, and I will, like a true drunkard, utter all to thee.
Watch. Some treason, masters ; yet stand close.
Bora. Therefore know, I have earned of Don John a thousand ducats.
Conr. Is it poflible that any villany should be so dear?
Bora. Thou should't rather ask, if it were possible any villany should be so rich ! for when rich villains have need of poor ones, poor ones may make what price they will.
Conr. I wonder at it.
Boro. That shews thou art unconfirm’d; thou knoweft, that the fashion of a doublet, or a hat, or a cloak is nothing to a man.
Conr. Yes, it is apparel.
Bora. Tush, I may as well say, the fool's the fool; but feest thou not, what a deformed thief this fashion is ?
Watch. I know that Deformed; he has been a vile thief this seven years ; he goes up and down like a gentleman: I remember his name.
Bora. Didit thou not hear somebody!
Bora. Seeft thou not, I say, what a deformed thief this fashion is ? how giddily he turns about all the hotbloods between fourteen and five and thirty ; sometimes fashioning them like Pharao's foldiers in the reachy painting, sometimes, like the God Bel's priests in the old church-window; sometimes like the shaven Hercules in the smirch'd worm-eaten tapestry, where his codpiece seems as maffy as his club.
Conr. All this I fee, and fee, that the fashion wears out more apparel than the man; but art not thou thyself giddy with the fashion too, that thou haft fhifted out of thy tale into telling me of the fashion ? Bora. Not so neither ; but know, that I have to-night
wooed Margaret, the lady Hero's gentlewoman, by the name of Hero; she leans me out at her mistress's chamberwindow, bids me a thousand times, good night ---I tell this tale vilely - I hould first tell thee, how the "Prince, Clavdio, and my master, planted and placed, and possessed by my master Don John, faw a-far off in the orchard this amiable encounter.
Conr. And thought they, Margaret was Hero ?
Bora. Two of them did, the Prince and Claudio but the devil my master knew, she was Margaret; and partly by his oaths, which first posseit them, partly by the dark night, which did deceive them, but chiefly by my villany, which did confirm any slander that Don John had made, away went Claudio enraged; swore, he would meet her as he was appointed next morning at the Temple, and there before the whole Congregation Thame her with what he saw o'er night, and send her home again without a husband.
1 Warch. We charge you in the Prince's name, ftand.
2 Watch. Call up the right mafter conftable; we have here recovered the most dangerous piece of lechery that ever was known in the common-wealth.
i Watch. And one Deforned is one of them; I know him, he wears a lock.
Conr. Masters, matters, (15)
2 Watch. You'll be made bring Deformed forth, 1 warrant you.
i Watcb. Never speak; we charge you, let us obey you to go with us.
(15) Conr. Mafters, masters,
Conr. Mafters, neuer Speak, we charge you, let us cbey you io go witß