THE METROPOLITAN. No. LVIII. FOR FEBRUARY, 1836. THE ENSUING SESSION OF PARLIA-, They find on this level, too high for them, MENT. neither the platform of popularity, nor the marble courts of royalty. Their elevation is dangerous to their safety; but how to descend with dignity. Aye, there's the rub-for every step of the ladder beneath them is so slippery, and so befouled with the slime of the tail, that the descent is absolutely as dangerous as it would be disgusting. THE pure Whig, (we use the words pure Whig in contradistinction to the Conservative one,)—the pure Whig is, at bottom, a very respectable sort of a person. It is true, that he has all the tyrannizing vices of the ultra Tory; but, these he betrays only in his actions in all his private ones, in his public, This is exactly their predicament, and we whenever he dares. In his professions you are sorry for them. Let us see if we can aswill find none of these vices, and, as he has sist them, for they have still respectability much more profession than principle, he enough to make an orderly, decent opposipasses for a very liberal animal. He is a de- tion; but they must not wait too long, for the ceptor; but, as he sets up for a politician, poison of the tail is fast inoculating the body, and, as policy is nearly allied to, if not abso- and they must free themselves from this corlutely identical with deception, he is, in his ruption with all despatch. Let them rememown estimation, not only entitled to no blame ber the story of the clumsy blacksmith, who for this, but actually to the praise of sagacity.spoiled his iron, and could finally make of He is a waverer-not sufficiently inclined to- his horse-shoe only a hiss. If there is not wards the good, from his obtusiveness of in- good metal enough left in Whiggery to make tellect; and equally withheld from the atro- a handsome bracket whereon to hang the concious, by the good moral sense of English-stitution, there is still enough of it to be beaten men in general, and his own pusillanimity in up into a respectable and wide-mouthed particular. The Radical is a fiercer and a knocker, with which "any robusteous perinobler animal, but infinitely more dangerous, wigged-pated fellow" may make a reasonaand, therefore, should be chained up, whilst the Whig should be merely kicked out of those high places he is so prone to defile, and where alone he can be mischievous; and then suffered to run innoxiously at large. The reader will perceive that we have a very good sort of feeling towards these Whigs; though we have a horrible distaste for their government. We would willingly come to their relief. They, poor creatures, are in a dilemma, and they know it-the best of them have climbed the ladder of promotion and of office, and, now they are at the very top of it, have a good view of their situation, and looking round, they perceive how disconsolate is their prospect. At this summit there is no landing-place, hardly a standing for them. They see that they cannot there build their nests, or take up a permanent habitation. VOL. XV. 9 ble noise enough; let it not be so corroded by the filth sticking to it, that at length it will be only fit to create a hiss. There is yet time. Now we will give them our ad vice. On the first general question after parliament has assembled, the very first question that is started upon which the strength of parties may be ascertained, all the honest and respectable Whigs must divide against the Radical tail. When Conservatism put forth all its strength, the ministerial majority did not exceed a score-in the recess they have lost some half dozen. Surely there may be found twenty just men among the patriotic Whigs. In refusing to act with O'Connell and his joints, they will be guilty of no inconsistency; they will not betray their party; they may still proclaim their principles nd, what is more, not only will the country that least difficult of all choosings, "Hobson's owe them a deep debt of gratitude for their choice," that or none. manliness, but their own partisans will, at If this really were so, grieved and dispiritfirst silently, and afterwards loudly, thanked as it would make us, we should be the them for it. Well, let us suppose, that at the very last to agitate the question of their revery opening of the sessions, the ministry find moval. The health, moral and political, of themselves in a small minority. We do not the empire is bound up in the firmness of the think that, under all the circumstances of government, and in the respect paid to legaltheir position, they would immediately resign. ly-constituted authority. If there were no The question would be again tried; and, most redemption to our thraldom, rather than let assuredly, on every fresh trial, the courage of revolution show its sinister head, or anarchy honesty would increase, and the majority lift its blood-desiring fangs, imbecile as we against the present government multiply. It think the Whigs to be, we would stand by only requires some twenty real and thorough-them, and all that they still permit to us of bred English gentlemen to make the com- our incomparable institutions, even to the mencement, not of apostasy, not even of ter-death. giversation, but of a determination of not act- But we are not yet reduced to these straits ing in a body with the Radical tail. But the-they may be removed from their usurpaConservatives should do their utmost, not, on tion, not only without convulsion, but without this occasion, to compromise the principles of regret, perhaps, even, without exciting a rethe true lovers of the country on the side of ally national notice. They are installed upthe house opposed to themselves; by so word- on our fears, they reign like the nightmare ing the amendment to the address, as to give upon our terrors; we have but to awake and every Conservative Whig who wished to throw off our lethargy, and they exist no throw off the O'Connel manacles, the oppor- more. Were they out of office to-morrow, tunity of voting with them. It should be so we would immediately show how easily an expressed, as to strike only at the domination efficient, a wise, and a stable government assumed by the most unworthy part of the might be formed-a government equally porepresentation. It should intimate, that his pular in the kingly palace, the lordly manMajesty's faithful Commons viewed with dis- sion, the corporation hall, and the peasant's trust the undue influence exercised by a party cottage. in the state, who avowed their intention of compassing ends little short of treasonable, by the most demoralizing process, that of agitation. To an amendment worded in this view, we could name at least fifteen upright, conscientious Whigs, who would most joy-Conservative Whig, seven-the Whig waverfully accede, and not one of them would, or er, three-the Papistico-Radical tail, two. could feel, that he had compromised either There is another party, the Anythingarians, his principles, or, in a moral point, his party, who veer round with that wind which always by this act of genuine patriotism. They points to power; who fight not the battle, but would only express their real feelings; and who are always found in the field after the in that honorable expression three fourths victory, begging to share the spoil. These, of the country would enthusiastically join. of course, we shall not count, as they are alYes, the present ministry is easily over- ways most willingly chained to the cars of thrown. It requires but a fraction of manli- the victors. ness, in a fraction of the independent party, and the loose fabric will be immediately dissolved into its component elements-and what are they? we shall see presently. The parties that at present exist, may be thus shadowed down in a scale, consisting of twenty units: of these the fiery and red-hot Ultra-Tory may be estimated at one-the honest Conservative Tory, seven-the honest That the Ultra-Tory, whose influence we have estimated at one, will amalgamate with no other party cordially, though it will always support the upper against the lower Upon what ground do the men at present factions, we have enumerated, we are aware. holding office stand? Upon the favor of their That party, though it could not keep a Consovereign? Can they boast of more than his servative ministry in office, would in all criconstrained sanction? Upon the good opi- ses give it support; it may be looked upon, nion of the aristocracy, whether that aristo- therefore, in a friendly point of view. In cracy be of birth, of talent, or of wealth? the Conservative Tories we find almost all Upon the respect paid to their government the talent, the weight, and the vigor. To abroad, or their popularity with the middle this party we shall look principally for our classes at home? Upon the wisdom of their ministers. Peel, Wellington, Lyndhurst, rank measures the great estimation of their ta- among it; but they should not monopolize lents as individuals, or the solid wisdom of all the places of power and trust; coalescing their councils as a body? We would ask with the Conservative Whigs, they should these questions, not of their enemies; not share with them the offices and the influence even of those who are neutral; we ask them of government. Each of these two powerof their advocates and friends, and we know ful parties, so nearly blending into each oththat the answers will be, almost unanimously, er, should make some sacrifices. Events, in the negative. Upon what basis are they those inexorable taskmasters, have liberalizthen supported in their places? Simply this ed the conscientious Tory almost into the -their friends confess that they are bad, but high-minded Whig; the conscientious Whig, the king and the country are compelled to in his turn, seeing the rapid march of revolu tionary principles, has been sublimated near-|od, perhaps, in consulting with the elders of ly into the liberal Tory. Neither the Peel the land, as to whom to entrust the details of nor the Wellington of 1835 is the Peel or the the government of this mighty kingdom. Wellington of 1828. The Ultra-Tory will After his royal mind had been fully made attest this with a groan. Nor is the Burdett of the present year the Burdett of the Tower and the mob processions. The Radical will swear to this with a curse. The difference, then, between these two parties, whose strength we have estimated at fourteen, is nearly nominal. If they were united, they would conciliate the Ultra-Tory, despise the Whig waverer, and crush into indignant helplessness the blatant-papisticoRadical. It is not for persons, humble as ourselves, to presume to arrange a prospective ministry. But we, in common with every lover of our country, are both disgusted and disheartened, at seeing the union now formed between the respectable and the disreputable, which union, carrying only a bare majority, arrogates to itself the direction of the destinies of this vast empire. up, ought he, in order to propitiate the scarcely adverse parties, of moderate Whigs and moderate Tories, to send for a Tory and lay his commands upon him to form a government, including some of the sensible Whigs, such as Graham and Stanley, or send for a Whig, to act in a similar manner towards the Tories? We can only say, however the monarch may decide, it is the duty of the subject to obey, be that subject Whig or Tory; and no real lover of his country, whatever may be his party, ought to refuse to obey the royal intentions, not only in appearance, but in a truly royal spirit. Under such a government as we have anticipated would O'Connell dare to agitate? We think that he would not. He is a shrewd individual, with no disposition to be hanged: no man living knows better than himself how to It may be urged that, the calm Tories, and conform to circumstances. If the senate in the sensible Whigs, having, each as an ad- its wisdom should pronounce the exciting of herent to his respective party, pronounced an ignorant peasantry to resist the laws, to definite and opposing opinions upon certain plunder property, and to perpetrate murder, measures, cannot, without a dereliction of to be a capital crime, that crime, we are asprinciple, either on the one part or the other, sured, O'Connell would be too wary to comcombine to forward such measures effectual- mit. He is not so all-powerful either as his ly. But this difficulty would be found to be friends or his enemies suppose: he is the one in appearance only. Time has removed creature of circumstances the mushroom many of these subjects of contention. The springing from the hot and fetid dung-heap Reform Bill has passed, and can we but rid of poverty. Ireland produces agitators as ourselves of the present Whig-Radical go- naturally as rottenness creates fungi. Were vernment, that affair is settled, and we trust discontent is universal, complaint will be for ever. We should hear no more prating bred, and ignorance being always reckless, of that famous Bill being only the means to the natural results of violence must ensue. an end. The means, God knows were exas- It is this ebullition that has thrown O'Connell perating enough, and it is time we now saw to the surface: had he not have been the obthe end of it. Surely the Catholics will not be permitted farther encroachments upon the establishment of our liberal and Protestant church. On this subject no difference could arise. Mr. Peel has already offered the Dissenters more than they chose to accept. The questio vexata of the Municipal Corporations has been disposed of unjustly enough we think-but we never wish to revive disputations. ject some other most certainly would: had that object been less crafty than the present agitator he would, ere this, have died on the gibbet; had he been more greatly ambitious, he might, pro tempore, have been the crowned sovereign of Ireland; had he been wise and good, he might have been almost the savior of his country. But O'Connell being neither great nor good, but only crafty, he is just what he might be expected to be a pestilent agitator, an inconsistent radical, a temporizing Catholic, a foe to his own country, and a scourge to society. But he is all this only by sufferance. He is not of importance in spite of obstacles, but through the weakness and incapacity of all those who have hitherto come in contact with him. Therefore, in any new ministerial arrangement that may be made, neither he nor his sycophants should be regarded for a moment. Indeed, when we come to examine the matter closely, we see no grounds, not even a prospect of disunion between these two parties. Perhaps, when they came to act together, it would be found that the liberal Tory was inclined to grant much more to popular clamor than the Conservative Whig. There is, however, another delicate point as to this hypothetical coalition. Which of the parties shall make the first overtures towards a reconciliation? We will not debate the question, whether the carrying of the We humbly conceive that we have shown olive branch to an adversary be, or be not, a that we possess the elements of forming a tacit admission of inferiority. We must re- good, wise, and a popular government; that gard how things are managed in this mortal that first blow to be struck against the present world of ours. The Melbourne ministry is personification of misrule should come from ousted-as ousted it surely will be-we will the patriotic votes of a few of the conscienallow the country two days for congratula- tious Whigs, and that the blow, instead of tion, and his Majesty will occupy that peri- being looked upon as dishonorable to them selves, would clothe them in a bright garment come, as come it must, and how soon none of glory. But no time is to be lost: the can tell-if we have not a vigorous and united Whigs are fast acquiring the low wisdom of government, we fear that this noble empire this generation: they have learned how to will reel under it. Succumb to any attacks, burrow in the earth, so as to undermine the we believe she never will. But we would popular fortifications opposed to thein, and to spare the blood of her gallant sons in the extend over the land the hateful ramifications onset. of their interest, and thus cover the healthy soil with their weeds of selfishness. Let us then, preparing for the foreign combat, or the domestic struggle, "shuffle off," with all speed, "this mortal coil" of Radicalwhiggery, with its tinsel' trappings, and its good old iron armor of Conservatism, that has stood the sword and spear for so many ages, bid defiance to all aggressors, preserve peace at home, and our character for power, dignity, and moderation over the rest of the world. For every commissioner created, they create some score of needy adherents. For every jobbing expectation gratified (and corrup-new-fangled ornaments, and, putting on the tion knows how numerous these jobs have been) they have called into their ranks fifty unflinching expectants. Though the plant of Whiggery is a very nettle, neither lofty nor fragrant, bearing no wholesome fruit, and adorned with no beautiful flowers, yet it prospers wonderfully in the ground; its roots spread in darkness and in dirt, and the sordid weed that may be easily eradicated to-day, may, to-morrow, be too firmly settled in the earth to be destroyed without injuring that SNARLEYYOW; OR, THE DOG FIEND.* which is graceful and good around it. It is one of the contingencies of the present state of affairs that Parliament may be dissolved. The Radical-Whigs, even if goaded to despair by an adverse majority, may make, trusting to their newly-created corporated influence, a stand upon the issue of a general election. We hope that this will not ensue at the present juncture, for many reasons which we have not here space to enumerate. If they do this mad act, we trust to the energies and the good sense of our countrymen to make it the consummation of their eternal disgrace. Let us remember, that we have yet a great deal left worth preserving. At no period in our history was a wise, a firm, and a strong government so necessary to the well-being, perhaps the salvation, of our country, than it is at this present juncture. Here, at home, we have our constitution honeycombed, not by time, but by wild experiments, and thus weakened, as it is, to the very core; unable to bear that pressure of national disaster or foreign combination against it, which it formerly did in a manner so glorious. Ireland is fast verging to rebellion-our stupendous commerce drags itself wearily along-men's minds are unsettled-the poor hoping to acquire riches by convulsion, the rich trembling at the doctrines the poor are too rapidly imbibing. All these, and many more evils and dangers we find fermenting wildly within the seas that girt our two isl ands. Is the present that wise, that firm, that strong government, that will, or that can, offer remedies to all this? No, for its very existence depends upon the perpetration of some of the evils that it is its duty to repress with the strong hand of power. In our foreign relations, though the prospect is now sufficiently quiescent, the ground swell, that foretells the approaching storm, is beginning to heave. The next European war will be a war of principle; and consequently universal. The various powers are silently preparing for it-and, when the shock shall BY CAPTAIN MARRYAT. CHAPTER IV. In which there is a desperate combat. EVEN at this period of the English history, it was the custom to put a few soldiers on board of the vessels of war, and the Yungfrau cutter had been supplied with a corporal and six men, all of whom were belonging to the Dutch marine. To a person who was so unpopular as Mr. Vanslyperken, this little force was a great protection, and both Corporal Van Spitter and his corps were well treated by him. The corporal was his purser and purveyor, and had a very good berth of it, for he could cheat as well as his commandant. He was, moreover, his prime minister, and an obedient executor of all his tyranny, for Corporal Van Spitter was without a shadow of feeling-on the contrary, he had pleasure in administering punishment; and if Vanslyperken had told him to blow any man's brains out belonging to the vessel, Van Spitter would have immediately obeyed the order without the change of a muscle in his fat, florid countenance. The corporal was an enormous man, tall, and so corpulent, that he weighed nearly twenty stone. Jansen was the only one who could rival him; he was quite as tall as the corporal, and as powerful, but he had not the extra weight of his carcase. About five minutes after the summons, the huge form of Corporal Van Spitter was seen to emerge slowly from the hatchway, which appeared barely wide enough to admit the egress of his broad shoulders. He had a flat foraging cap on his head, which was as large as a buffalo's, and his person was clothed in blue pantaloons, tight at the ankle, rapidly increasing in width as they ascended, until they diverged at the hips to an expanse which was something between the sublime and the ridiculous. The upper part of his body was * Continued from page 21. cased in a blue jacket, with leaden buttons, started back at this unusual conflict, and no stamped with the rampant lion, with a little one interfered. tail behind, which was shoved up in the air by the protuberance of the parts. Having gained the deck, he walked to Vanslyperken, and raised the back of his right hand to his forehead. "Corporal Van Spitter, get your cats up for punishment, and when you are ready fetch up Smallbones." Whereupon, without reply, Corporal Van Spitter put his left foot behind the heel of his right, and by this manœuvre turned his body round like a capstern, so as to bring his face forward, and then walked off in that direction. He soon reappeared with all the necessary implements of torture, laid them down on one of the lee guns, and again departed to seek out his victim. After a short time, a scuffle was heard below, but it was soon over, and once more appeared the corporal with the spare, tall body of Smallbones under his arm. He held him, grasped by the middle part, about where Smallbones' stomach ought to have been, and the head and heels of the poor wretch both hung down perpendicularly, and knocked together as the corporal proceeded aft. As soon as Van Spitter had arrived at the gun he laid down his charge, who neither moved nor spoke. He appeared to have resigned himself to the fate which awaited him, and made no resistance when he was stripped by one of the marines, and stretched over the gun. The men who were on deck, said nothing; they looked at each other expressively as the preparations were made. Flogging a lad like Smallbones was too usual an occurrence to excite surprise, and to show their disgust would have been dangerous. Smallbones' back was now bared, and miserable was the spectacle; the shoulder-blades protruded so that you might put your hand sideways under the scapula, and every bone of the vertebræ, and every process was clearly defined through the skin of the poor skeleton. The punishment commenced, and the lad received his three dozen without a murmur, the measured sound of the lash only being broken in upon by the baying of Snarleyyow, who occasionally would have flown at the victim, had he not been kept off by one of the marines. During the punishment Mr. Vanslyperken walked the deck, and turned and turned again as before. Smallbones was then cast loose by the corporal, who was twirling up his cat, when Snarleyyow, whom the marines had not watched, ran up to the lad, and inflicted a severe bite. Smallbones, who appeared at the moment to be faint and listless-not having risen from his knees after the marine had thrown his shirt over him, roused by this new attack, appeared to spring into life and energy; he jumped up, uttered a savage yell, and, to the astonishment of every body, threw himself upon the dog as he retreated, and holding him fast with his naked arms, met the animal with his own weapons, attacking him with a phrenzied resolution with his teeth. Every body Long was the struggle, and such was the savage energy of the lad, that he bit and held on with the tenacity of a bull-dog, tearing the lips of the animal, his ears, and burying his face in the dog's throat, as his teeth were firmly fixed on his windpipe. The dog could not escape, for Smallbones held him like a vice. At last, the dog appeared to have the advantage, for as they rolled over and over, he caught the lad by the side of the neck, but Smallbones recovered himself, and getting the foot of Snarleyyow between his teeth, the dog threw up his head and howled for succor. Mr. Vanslyperken rushed to his assistance, and struck Smallbones a heavy blow on the head with his speaking trumpet, which stunned him, and he let go his hold. Short, who had come on deck, perceiving this, and that the dog was about to resume the attack, saluted Snarleyyow with a kick on his side, which threw him down the hatchway, which was about three yards off from where the dog was at the time. "How dare you strike my dog, Mr. Short?" cried Vanslyperken. Short did not condescend to answer, but went to Smallbones and raised his head. The lad revived. He was terribly bitten about the face and neck, and what with the wounds in front, and the lashing from the cat, presented a melancholy spectacle. Short called some of the men to take Smallbones below, in which act they readily assisted; they washed him all over with salt water, and the smarting from his various wounds brought him to his senses. He was then put in his hammock. Vanslyperken and the corporal looked at each other during the time that Short was giving his directions-neither interfered. The lieutenant was afraid, and the corporal waited for orders. As soon as the men had carried the lad below, Corporal Van Spitter put his hand up to his foraging cap, and with his cat and seizings under his arm, went down below. As for Vansly perken, his wrath was even greater than before, and with his hands thrust even farther down in his pockets than ever, and the speaking trumpet now battered flat with the blow which he had administered to Smallbones, he walked up and down, muttering every two minutes, “I'll keel-haul the scoundrel, by heavens! I'll teach him to bite my dog." Snarleyyow did not re-appear on deck; he had received such punishment as he did not expect. He licked the wounds where he could get at them, and then remained in the cabin in a sort of perturbed slumber, growling every minute as if he were fighting the battle over again in his sleep. CHAPTER V. A consultation in which there is much mutiny. This consultation was held upon the forecastle of his Majesty's cutter Yungfrau, on the |