274 HOW TO DRIVE A GOVERNOR. it for him that his power was not dependent upon the greasy multitude, and that as yet the populace did not possess the important privilege of nominating their chief magistrate. They, however, did their best to help along public affairs; pestering their governor incessantly, by goading him on with harangues and petitions, and then thwarting his fiery spirit with reproaches and memorials, like Sunday jockeys managing an unlucky devil of a hack horse-so that Wilhelmus Kieft may be said to have been kept either on a worry or a handgallop throughout the whole of his administration. IRRUPTIONS OF THE YANKEES. 275 CHAPTER VII. Containing divers fearful accounts of Border wars, and the flagrant outrages of the Moss-troopers of Connecticut-with the rise of the great Amphyctionic council of the east, and the decline of William the Testy. Ir was asserted by the wise men of ancient times, who were intimately acquainted with these matters, that at the gate of Jupiter's palace lay two huge tuns, the one filled with blessings, the other with misfortunes-and it verily seems as if the latter had been completely overturned, and left to deluge the unlucky province of Nieuw-Nederlandts. Among the many internal and external causes of irritation, the incessant irruptions of the Yankees upon his frontiers were continually adding fuel to the inflammable temper of William the Testy. Numerous accounts of these molestations may still be found among the records of the times; for the commanders on the frontiers were especially careful to evince their vigilance and zeal, by striving who should send home the most frequent and voluminous budgets of complaints, as your faithful servant is eternally running with complaints to the parlour, of the petty squabbles and misdemeanours of the kitchen. Far be it from me to insinuate, however, that our worthy ancestors indulged in groundless alarms; on the contrary, they were daily suffering a repe tition of cruel wrongs, not one of which but was a sufficient reason, according to the maxims of national dignity and honour, for throwing the whole universe into hostility and confusion. Oh ye powers! into what indignation did every one of these outrages throw the philosophic William! letter after letter, protest after protest, proclamation after proclamation, bad Latin, worse English, and hideous low Dutch, were exhausted in vain upon the inexorable Yankees; and the fourand-twenty letters of the alphabet, which, excepting his champion, the sturdy trumpeter Van Corlear, composed the only standing army he had at his command, were never off duty throughout the • From among a multitude of bitter grievances still on record, I select a few of the most atrocious, and leave my readers to judge if our ancestors were not justifiable in getting into a very valiant passion on the occasion. 24 June, 1641. Some of Hartford have taken a hogg out of the vlact or common, and shut it up out of meer hate or other prejudice, causing it to starve for hunger in the stye! 26 July. The foremencioned English did againe drive the Companies' hoggs out of the vlact of Sicojoke into Hartford; contending daily with reproaches, blows, beating the people with all disgrace that they could imagine. May 20, 1642. The English of Hartford have violently cut loose a horse of the honoured Companies', that stood bound upon the common or vlact. May 9, 1643. The Companies' horses pastured upon the Companies' ground were driven away by them of Connecticott or Hartford, and the herdsmen lustily beaten with hatchets and sticks. 16. Again they sold a young hogg belonging to the Companie which piggs had pastured on the Companies' land. Haz. Col. State Pap. PERILS OF THE AUTHOR. 277 whole of his administration.-Nor was Antony, the trumpeter, a whit behind his patron in fiery zeal; but, like a faithful champion of the public safety, on the arrival of every fresh article of news, he was sure to sound his trumpet from the ramparts, with most disastrous notes, throwing the people into violent alarms, and disturbing their rest at all times and seasons-which caused him to be held in very great regard, the public pampering and rewarding him, as we do brawling editors, for similar services. I am well aware of the perils that environ me in this part of my history. While raking, with curious hands but pious heart, among the mouldering remains of former days, anxious to draw therefrom the honey of wisdom, I may fare somewhat like that valiant worthy Samson, who, in meddling with the carcass of a dead lion, drew a swarm of bees about his ears. Thus while narrating the many misdeeds of the Yanokie or Yankee tribe, it is ten chances to one but I offend the morbid sensibilities of certain of their unreasonable descendants, who may fly out and raise such a buzzing about this unlucky head of mine, that I shall need the tough hide of an Achilles, or an Orlando Furioso, to protect me from their stings. Should such be the case, I should deeply and sincerely lament-not my misfortune in giving offence-but the wrong-headed perverseness of an ill-natured generation, in taking offence at any thing I say. That their ancestors did use my ancestors illis true, and I am very sorry for it. I 278 HIS RESOLUTE DETERMINATION. would, with all my heart, the fact were otherwise; but as I am recording the sacred events of history, I'd not bate one nail's breadth of the honest truth, though I were sure the whole edition of my work should be bought up and burnt by the common hangman of Connecticut. And in sooth, now that these testy gentlemen have drawn me out, I will make bold to go further, and observe that this is one of the grand purposes for which we impartial historians are sent into the world-to redress wrongs and render justice on the heads of the guilty. So that though a powerful nation may wrong its neighbours with temporary impunity, yet sooner or later an historian springs up, who wreaks ample chastisement on it in return. Thus these moss-troopers of the east little thought, I'll warrant it, while they were harassing the inoffensive province of Nieuw-Nederlandts, and driving its unhappy governor to his wit's end, that an historian should ever arise, and give them their own, with interest. Since then I am but performing my bounden duty as an historian, in avenging the wrongs of our revered ancestors, I shall make no further apology; and indeed, when it is considered that I have all these ancient borderers of the east in my power, and at the mercy of my pen, I trust that it will be admitted I conduct myself with great humanity and moderation. To resume then the course of my history-Appearances to the eastward began now to assume a more formidable aspect than ever-for I would have you note that hitherto the province had been |