網頁圖片
PDF
ePub 版

And drive her foes from their savage job
As a mad Black Bullock would scatter a mob:-

But no such matter is down in the bond;
And spite of her cries that never cease
But scare the ducks and astonish the geese,

The Dame is dragg'd to the fatal pond !

And now they come to the water's brim-
And in they bundle her-sink or swim ;
Though it's twenty to one that the wretch must

drown,
With twenty sticks to hold her down ;
Including the help to the self-same end,
Which a travelling Pedlar stops to lend.
A Pedlar !—Yes !—The same !—the same!
Who sold the Horn to the drowning Dame!
And now is foremost amid the stir,
With a token only revealed to her;
A token that makes her shudder and shriek,
And point with her finger, and strive to speak—
But before she can utter the name of the Devil,
Her head is under the water level !

Moral.

There are folks about town—to name no namesWho much resemble that deafest of Dames ;

And over their tea, and muffins, and crumpets, Circulate many a scandalous word, And whisper tales they could only hare heard

Through some such Diabolical Trumpets !

NOTE.

THE following curious passage is quoted for the benefit of such Readers as are afflicted, like Dame Spearing, with Deafness, and one of its concomitants, a singing or ringing in the head. The extract is taken from “Quid pro Quo; or, A Theory of Compensations. By P. S.” (perhaps Peter Shard), folio edition:

“Soe tenderly kind and gratious is Nature, our Mother, that She seldom or never puts upon us any Grievaunce without inaking Us some Amends, which, if not a full and perfect Equivalent, is yet a great Solace or Salve to the Sore. As is notably displaid in the Case of such of our Fellow Creatures as undergoe the Loss of Heering, and are thereby deprived of the Comfort and Entertainment of Natural Sounds. In lew, whereof the Deaf Man, as testified by mine own Experience, is regaled with an inward Musick that is not vouchsafed unto a Person who hath the compleet 'Usage of his Ears. For note, that the selfsame Condition of Boddy which is most apt to bring on a Surdity,-namely, a general Relaxing of the delicate and subtile Fibres of the Human Nerves, and mainly such as belong and propinque to the Auricular Organ, this very Unbracing which silences the Tympanum, or drum, is the most instrumental Cause in producing a Consort in the Head. And, in particular, that affection which the Physitians have called Tinnitus, by reason of its Resernblance to a Ring of Bells. The Absence of which, as a National Musick, would be a sore Loss and Discomfort to any Native of the Low Countryes, where the Steeples and Church-Towers with their Carillons maintain an allmost endlesse Tingle; seeing that before one quarterly Chime of the Cloke hath well' ended, another must by Time's Command strike up its Tune. On which Account, together with its manye waterish Swamps and

Marshes, the Land of Flandres is said by the Wits to be Ringing Wet. Such campanulary Noises would alsoe be heavily mist and lamented by the Inhabitants of that Ringing Island described in Rabelais his Works, as a Place constantly filled with a Corybantick Jingle Jangle of great, middle-sized, and little Bells: wherewith the People seem to be as much charmed as a Swarm of Bees with the Clanking of Brazen Kettles and Pans. And which Ringing Island cannot of a surety be Barbadoes, as certain Authors have supposed, but rather our own tintinnabulary Island of Brittain, where formerly a Saxon could not soe much as quench a Fire or a Candle but to the tune of a Bell. And even to this day, next. to the Mother Tongue, the one mostly used is in a Mouth of Mettal, and withal so loosely hung, that it must needs wag at all Times and on all Topicks. For your English Man is a mighty Ringer, and besides furnishing Bells to a Bellfry, doth hang them at the Head of his Horse, and at the Neck of his Sheep-on the Cap of his Fool, and on the Heels of his Hawk. And truly I have known more than one amongst my Country Men, who would undertake more Travel, and Cost besides, to hear a Peal of Grandsires, than they would bestow to look upon a Generation of Grandchildren. But alack ! all these Bells with the huge Muscovite, and Great Tom of Lincoln to boot, be but as Dumb Bells to the Deaf Man: wherefore, as I said, Nature kindly steps in with a Compensation, to wit a Tinnitus, and converts his own Head into a Bellfry, whence he hath Peals enow, and what is more, without having to pay the Ringers.”

• THE IRISH SCHOOLMASTER.

ALACK ! 'tis melancholy theme to think
How Learning doth in rugged states abide
And, like her bashful owl, obscurely blink,
In pensive glooms and corners, scarcely spied ;
Not, as in Founders' Halls and domes of pride,
Served with grave homage, like a tragic queen,
But with one lonely priest compelld to hide,

In midst of foggy moors and mosses green,
In that clay cabin hight the College of Kilreen!

II. This College looketh South and West alsoe, Because it hath a cast in windows twain ; Crazy and crack'd they be, and wind doth blow Thorough transparent holes in every pane, Which Dan, with many paines, makes whole again

[teach, With nether garments, which his thrift doth To stand for glass, like pronouns, and when rain

Stormeth, he puts," once more unto the breach," Outside and in, tho’ broke, yet so he mendeth each.

III.

And in the midst a little door there is,
Whereon a board that doth congratulate
With painted letters, red as blood I wis,
Thus written, “ Children taken in to Batez."
And oft, indeed, the inward of that gate,
Most ventriloque, doth utter tender squeak,
And moans of infants that bemoan their fate,

In midst of sounds of Latin, French, and Greek, Which, all i' the Irish tongue, he teacheth them

to speak.

IV.

For some are meant to right illegal wrongs,
And some for Doctors of Divinitie,
Whom he doth teach to murder the dead

tongues,
And soe win academical degree;
But some are bred for service of the sea,
Howbeit, their store of learning is but small,
For mickle waste he counteth it would be

To stock a head with bookish wares at all, Only to be knocked off by ruthless cannon ball.

v. Six babes he sways,—some little and some big, Divided into classes six ;—alsoe, He keeps a parlour boarder of a pig, That in the College fareth to and fro, And picketh up the urchins' crumbs belowVOL. II.

« 上一頁繼續 »