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THE

MERRY WIVES OF WINDSOR.

ACT THE FIRST.

SCENEI.

Before PAGE'S House.

Enter SHALLOW, SLENDER, and EVANS.

Shal. Sir Hugh, persuade me not: I will make a Star Chamber matter of it: if he were twenty Sir John Falstaffs, he shall not abuse Robert Shallow, esquire.

Slen. In the county of Gloster, justice of peace, and

corum.

Shal. Ay, cousin Slender, and cust-ulorum.

Slen. Ay, and rat-ulorum too; and a gentleman born, master parson; who writes himself armigero; in any bill, warrant, quittance, or obligation, armigero.

Shal. Ay, that we do; and have done any time these three hundred years.

Slen. All his successors, gone before him, have done't; and all his ancestors, that come after him, may: they may give the dozen white luces in their

coat.

Shal. It is an old coat.

Eva. The dozen white louses do become an old

coat well; it agrees well, passant: it is a familiar beast to man, and signifies-love.

Slen. I may quarter, coz.

Shal. You may, by marrying.

Eva. It is marring, indeed, if he quarter it.
Shal. Not a whit.

Eva. Yes, py'r lady ? if he has a quarter of your coat, there is but three skirts for yourself, in my simple conjectures: but that is all one: If Sir John Falstaff have committed disparagements unto you, I will be glad to do my benevolence, to make atonements and compromises between you.

Shal. Ha! o' my life, if I were young again, the sword should end it.

Eva. It is petter that friends is the sword, and end it: and there is also another device in my prain, which peradventure, prings goot discretions with it. There is Anne Page, which is daughter to Master George Page, which is pretty virginity.

Slen. Mistress Anne Page ? she has brown hair, and speaks small like a woman.

Eva. It is that very person for all the 'orld, as just as you will desire; and seven hundred pounds of monies, and gold, and silver, is her grandsire, upon his death's-bed, give, when she is able to overtake seventeen years old: it were goot motion, if we leave our pribbles and prabbles, and desire a marriage between Master Abraham, and Mistress Anne Page.

Shal. Did her grandsire leave her seven hundred pounds ?

Eva. Ay, and her father is make her a petter penny.

Shal. I know the young gentlewoman; she has good gifts.

Eva. Seven hundred pounds, and possibilities, is

goot gifts,

Shal. Well, let us see honest master Page: Is Fal

taff there?

Eva. Shall I tell you a lie? I do despise a liar, as I do despise one that is false; or, as I despise one that is not true. The knight, Sir John, is there; and, I beseech you, be ruled by your well-willers. I will peat the door for Master Page. [Knocks at the Door.] What hoa! 'pless your house here!

Enter PAGE.

Page. Who's there?

Eva. Here is your friend, and Justice Shallow: and here young Master Slender; that, peradventures, shall tell you another tale, if matters grow to your likings.

Page. I am glad to see your worships well: I thank you for my venison, Master Shallow.

Shal. Master Page, I am glad to see you: Much good do it your good heart! I wish'd your venison better; it was ill kill'd :-How doth good Mistress Page? and I thank you always with my heart, la; with my heart.

Page. Sir, I thank you ;-I am glad to see you, good Master Slender.

Slen. How does your fallow greyhound, sir? I

heard say, he was outrun on Cotsale.

Page. It could not be judg'd, sir.
Shal. Is Sir John Falstaff here?

Page. Sir, he is within; and I would I could do a

good office between you.

Eva. It is spoke as a christians ought to speak.
Shal. He hath wrong'd me, Master Page.
Page. Sir, he doth in some sort confess it.

Shal. If it be confess'd, it is not redress'd; is not that so, Master Page? He hath wrong'd me;-indeed, he hath;-at a word, he hath; -believe me;-Robert Shallow, esquire, saith, he is wrong'd. Page. Here comes Sir John.

Enter FALSTAFF, ROBIN, BARDOLPH, PISTOL, and

NYM.

Fal. Now, Master Shallow; you'll complain of me to the king?

Shal. Knight, you have beaten my men, kill'd my

deer, and broke open my lodge.

Fal. But not kiss'd your keeper's daughter?

Shal. Tut, a pin! this shall be answer'd.

Fal. I will answer it straight; - I have done all this :

-That is now answer'd.

Shal. The council shall know this.

Fal. 'Twere better for you, if 'twere known in counsel; you'll be laugh'd at.

Eva. Pauca verba, Sir John; good worts.

Fal. Good worts! good cabbage: Slender, I broke

your head; What matter have you against me?

Slen. Marry, sir, I have matter in my head against you; and against your coney-catching rascals, Bardolph, Nym, and Pistol.

Bar. You Banbury cheese!

Slen. Ay, it is no matter.

Pist. How now, Mephostophilus ?

Slen. Ay, it is no matter.

Nym. Slice, I say; slice! that's my humour.

Slen. Where's Simple, my man-can you tell,

cousin ?

Eva. Peace: I pray you! Nov let us understand: There is three umpires in this matter, as I understand: that is-Master Page, fidelicet, Master Page; and there is myself, fidelicet, myself; and the three party is, lastly and finally, mine host of the Garter.

Page. We three, to hear it, and end it between them.

Eva. Fery goot: I will make a prief of it in my note-book; and we will afterwards 'ork upon the cause, with as great discreetly as we can,

Fal. Pistol,

Pist. He hears with ears.

Eva. What phrase is this, " He hears with ear."

Why it is affectations.

Fal. Pistol did you pick Master Slender's purse ? Slen. Ay, by these gloves, did he, (or I would I might never come in mine own great chamber again else,) of seven groats in mill-sixpences, and two Edward shovell-boards, that cost me two shilling and two-pence apiece of Yead Miller, by these gloves.

Fal. Is this true, Pistol ?

Eva. No: it is false, if it is a pick-purse.
Pist. Ha, thou mountain-foreigner! Sir John,

and master mine,

I combat challenge of this latten bilboe :
Word of denial in thy labras here;
Word of denial: froth and scum, thou ly'st.
Slen. By these gloves, then 'twas he.

Nym. Be advis'd, sir, and pass good huni irs: I will say, " marry trap," with you, if you run the nuthook's humour on me: that is the very note of i.:

Slen. By this hat, then he in the red face had its for though I cannot remember what I did when you made me drunk, yet I am not altogether an ass. Fal. What say you, Scarlet and John ? Bard, Why, sir, for my part, I say, the gentleman had drunk himself out of his five sentences.

Eva. It is the five senses: fie, what the ignorance is!

Bard. And being fap, sir, was, as they say, cashier'd; and so conclusions pass'd the careires.

Slen. Ay, you spake in Latin then too; but 'tis no matter: I'll never be drunk whilst I live again, but in honest, civil company, for this trick: if I be drunk, I'll be drunk with those that have the fear of Heaven, and not with drunken knaves.

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