THE ALLEY.

AN IMITATION OF SPENCER.

I.

IN ev'ry town where Thamis rolls his tide,
A narrow pass there is, with houses low;
Where ever and anon the stream is eyed,

And many a boat soft sliding to and fro:
There oft are heard the notes of infant woe,
The short thick sob, loud scream, and shriller squall:
How can ye, mothers, vex your children so?

Some play, some eat, some cack against the wall, And, as they crouchen low, for bread and butter call.

II.

And on the broken pavement here and there

Doth many a stinking sprat and herring lie;

A brandy and tobacco shop is near,

And hens, and dogs, and hogs, are feeding by:
And here a sailor's jacket hangs to dry;

At every door are sunburnt matrons seen,
Mending old nets to catch the scaly fry;

Now singing shrill, and scolding oft between;
Scolds answer foulmouth'd scolds; bad neighbour-
hood, I ween.

III.

The snappish cur (the passenger's annoy)
Close at my heel with yelping treble flies;
The whimp'ring girl and hoarser screaming boy
Join to the yelping treble shrilling cries;
The scolding quean to louder notes doth rise,

And

And her full pipes those shrilling cries confound;
To her full pipes the grunting hog replies;
The grunting hogs alarm the neighbours round,
And curs, girls, boys, and scolds, in the deep base
are drown'd.

IV.

Hard by a sty, beneath a roof of thatch,
Dwelt Obloquy, who in her early days
Baskets of fish at Billingsgate did watch,

Cod, whiting, oyster, mackrel, sprat, or plaice:
There learn'd she speech from tongues that never

cease.

Slander, beside her, like a magpie chatters,

With Envy (spitting cat) dread foe to peace; Like a curs'd cur, Malice before her clatters, And, vexing ev'ry wight, tears clothes and all to

tatters.

V.

Her dugs were mark'd by ev'ry collier's hand,
Her mouth was black as bulldog's at the stall:
She scratched, bit, and spar'd ne lace ne band;
And bitch and rogue her answer was to all;
Nay, e'en the parts of shame by name would call.
Whene'er she passed by a lane or nook,

Would greet the man who turn'd him to the wall,
And by his hand obscene the porter took,
Nor ever did askance like modest virgin look.

VI.

Such place hath Deptford, navy-building town; Woolwich and Wapping, smelling strong of pitch:

Such

Such Lambeth, envy of each band and gown;
And Twick'nham such, which fairer scenes enrich,
Grots, statues, urns, and Jo-n's dog and bitch;
Ne village is without, on either side,

All up the silver Thames, or all adown;

Ne Richmond's self, from whose tall front are ey'd Vales, spires, meandring streams, and Windsor's tow'ry pride.

ΤΟ

THE CAPON'S TALE:

A LADY, WHO FATHERED HER LAMPOONS UPON HER

ACQUAINTANCE.

IN Yorkshire dwelt a sober yeoman,

Whose wife, a clean, painstaking woman,
Fed num'rous poultry in her pens,

And saw her cocks well serve her hens.

A hen she had whose tuneful clocks
Drew after her a train of cocks;

With eyes so piercing, yet so pleasant,

You would have sworn this hen a pheasant.
All the plum'd beau monde round her gathers;
Lord! what a brustling up of feathers!
Morning from noon there was no knowing,
There was such flutt'ring, chuckling, crowing:
Each forward bird must thrust his head in,
And not a cock but would be treading.

Yet tender was this hen so fair,

And hatch'd more chicks than she could rear.

Our prudent dame bethought her then

Of some dry nurse to save her hen:

She made a capon drunk; in fine

He eats the sops, she sipp'd the wine;

His

His rump well pluck'd with nettles stings,
And claps the brood beneath his wings.
The feather'd dupe awakes content,
O'erjoy'd to see what God had sent;
Thinks he's the hen, clocks, keeps a pother,
A foolish foster-father-mother.

Such, lady Mary, are your tricks ;
But since you hatch, pray own your chicks.

THE ELEPHANT;

OR,

THE PARLIAMENT MAN.

WRITTEN MANY YEARS SINCE.

TAKEN FROM COKE'S INSTITUTES.

ERE bribes convince you whom to choose,
The precepts of lord Coke peruse :
Observe an Elephant, says he,

And let like him your member be:
First, take a man that's free from gall;
For elephants have none at all:
In flocks or parties he must keep;
For elephants live just like sheep:
Stubborn in honour he must be;
For elephants ne'er bend the knee:
Last, let his memory be sound,
In which your elephant's profound;
That old examples from the wise
May prompt him in his Noes and Ies.

Thus

Thus the lord Coke hath gravely writ,

In all the form of lawyers wit;

And then with Latin, and all that,
Shows the comparison is pat.

Yet in some points my lord is

wrong: One's teeth are sold, and t'other's tongue:

Now men of parliament, God knows,
Are more like elephants of shows,
Whose docile memory and sense
Are turn'd to trick, to gather pence.
To get their master half a crown,
They spread their flag, or lay it down:
Those who bore bulwarks on their backs,
And guarded nations from attacks,
Now practise every pliant gesture,
Opening their trunk for every tester.
Siam, for elephants so fam'd,
Is not with England to be nam'd:
Their elephants by men are sold;
Ours sell themselves, and take the gold.

VERSES

TO BE PREFIXED BEFORE

BERNARD LINTOT'S NEW MISCELLANY *.

SOME Colinæus † praise, some Bleau †,

Others account them but so so;

Some Plantin to the rest prefer,

And some esteem old Elzevir † ;

The Oxford and Cambridge Miscellany.

+ Printers, famous for having published fine editions of the Bible, and of the Greek and Roman classicks.

Others