these; yet it must be owned, that Nic. was a fair dealer, and in that way acquired immense riches. Hocus was an old cunning attorney; and though this was the first considerable suit that ever he was engaged in, he showed himself superiour in his address to most of his profession; he kept always good clerks, he loved money, was smooth-tongued, gave good words, and seldom lost his temper: he was not worse than an infidel, for he provided plentifully for his family; but he loved himself better than them all; the neighbours reported, that he was henpecked; which was impossible by such a mild-spirited woman as his wife was. CHAP. VI. Of the various success of the lawsuit. LAW is a bottomless pit: it is a cormorant, a harpy, that devours every thing. John Bull was flattered by the lawyers, that his suit would not last above a year or two at most; that before that time he would be in quiet possession of his business: yet ten long years did Hocus steer his cause through all the meanders of the law, and all the courts. No skill, no address was wanting; and, to say truth, John did not starve his cause: there wanted not yellow-boys to fee counsel, hire witnesses, and bribe juries: lord Strutt was generally cast, never had one verdict in his favour; and John was promised that the next, and the next, would be the final determina tion *: tion*: but alas! that final determination and happy conclusion was like an enchanted island, the nearer John came to it, the farther it went from him: new trials upon new points still arose; new doubts, new matters to be cleared; in short, lawyers seldom part with so good a cause, till they have got the oyster, and their clients the shell. John's ready money, book-debts, bonds, mortgages, all went into the lawyers pockets: then John began to borrow money upon Bank-stock and East-India bonds: now and then a farm went to pot: at last it was thought a good expedient to set up esquire South's title, to prove the will forged, and disposess Philip lord Strutt at once. Here again was a new field for the lawyers, and the cause grew more intricate than ever. John grew madder and madder; wherever he met any of lord Strutt's servants, he tore off their clothes: now and then you would see them come home naked, without shoes, stockings, and linen. As for old Lewis Baboon, he was reduced to his last shift, though he had as many as any other: his children were reduced from rich silks to Doily stuffs, his servants in rags, and bare-footed: instead of good victuals, they now lived upon neck-beef, and bullock's liver in short, nobody got much by the matter, but the men of law. The war was carried on against France and Spain with great success, and a peace might have been concluded upon the principles of the alliance; but a partition of the Spanish dominions in favour of the house of Austria, and an engagement that the same person should never be king of France and Spain, were not now thought sufficient. + It was insisted, that the will in favour of Philip was contrary to treaty; and there was a parliamentary declaration for continuing the war, till he should be dethroned. CHAP. CHAP. VII. How John Bull was so mightily pleased with his success, that he was going to leave off his trade, and turn lawyer. IT T is wisely observed by a great philosopher, that habit is a second nature: this was verified in the case of John Bull, who, from an honest and plain tradesman, had got such a haunt about the courts of justice, and such a jargon of law-words, that he concluded himself as able a lawyer as any that pleaded at the bar, or sat on the bench: he was overheard one day talking to himself after this manner: "How ca priciously does fate or chance dispose of mankind? "How seldom is that business allotted to a man, for "which he is fitted by nature? It is plain, I was in"tended for a man of law: how did my guardians "mistake my genius, in placing me, like a mean "slave, behind a counter? Bless me! what immense "estates these fellows raise by the law? Besides, it is "the profession of a gentleman. What a pleasure is it "to be victorious in a cause? to swagger at the bar? "What a fool am I to drudge any more in this woollen “trade? for a lawyer I was born, and a lawyer I will "be; one is never too old to learn." All this while John had conned over such a catalogue of hard words, as were enough to conjure up the devil; this he used to babble indifferently in all companies, especially at The manners and sentiments of the nation became extravagant and chimerical. VOL. XVII. L coffee coffeehouses; so that his neighbour tradesmen began to shun his company, as a man that was cracked. Instead of the affairs of Blackwell-hall, and the price of broad cloth, wool, and baizes, he talks of nothing but actions upon the case, returns, capias, alias capias, demurrers, venire facias, replevins, supersedeases, certioraris, writs of errour, actions of trover and conversion, trespasses, precipes and dedimus. This was matter of jest to the learned in law; however, Hocus, and the rest of the tribe, encouraged John in his fancy, assuring him, that he had a great genius for law; that they questioned not, but in time he might raise money enough by it to reimburse him all his charges; that if he studied, he would undoubtedly arrive to the dignity of a lord chief justice *: as for the advice of honest friends and neighbours, John despised it; he looked upon them as fellows of a low genius, poor grovelling mechanicks; John reckoned it more honour to have got one favourable verdict, than to have sold a bale of broad cloth. As for Nic. Frog, to say the truth, he was more prudent; for though he followed his lawsuit closely, he neglected not his ordinary business, but was both in court and in his shop at the proper hours. * Hold the balance of power. CHAP. CHAP. VIII. How John discovered that Hocus had an intrigue with his wife; and what followed thereupon. JOHN had not run on a madding so long, had it not been for an extravagant bitch of a wife, whom Hocus perceiving John to be fond of, was resolved to win over to his side. It is a true saying, " that the "last man of the parish, that knows of his cuck tr oldom, is himself." It was observed by all the neighbourhood, that Hocus had dealings with John's wife, that were not so much for his honour; but this was perceived by John a little too late; she was a luxurious jade, loved splendid equipages, plays, treats, and balls, differing very much from the sober manners of her ancestors, and by no means fit for a tradesman's wife. Hocus fed her extravagancy (what was still more shameful) with John's own money. Every body said, that Hocus had a month's mind to her body; be that as it will, it is matter of fact, that upon all occasions she run out extravagantly on the praise of Hocus. When John used to be finding fault with his bills, she used to reproach him as ungrateful to his greatest benefactor; one that had taken so much pains in his lawsuit, and retrieved his family from the oppression of old Lewis Baboon. A good swingeing sum of John's readiest cash went to And it was believed that the general tampered with the parliament, |