top of them. The conflict was doubly revived on the rising of the combatants; decanters, ten guineas a pair, flew like meteors againt pierglasses a hundred guineas a piece. My matchless Hockheim tumblers, ancient as Albert Durer, painted and cut with all indescribable griffins, virgins and boars' heads, "invaluable to the antiquary and man of taste," and whose sale broke the heart of the Landgrave that had drained them from his cradle to his climacteric; those my muniments and treasures, that I had reserved for an heir-loom to satisfy my remotest generation of the refinement of their ancestor, and that nothing should or could have won from my safe-keeping, but my wife's begging and praying to have something to show on the table which defied Mr. Molasses and all his money to have, and which would consequently bow down to the dust his and his still prouder wife's heart; those exquisite emblems, that an ancient Roman would have consecrated in the temple of Bacchus, and that I ought to have refused to all human threats and tears, I saw flashing through air, ground between teeth, trampled under heels, and finally levigated into their original sand.

"The supreme catastrophe of the rout at length roused me to a sense of my duty. The chandelier, a huge pile, whose galaxy of prisms, drops and stars, would have raised the envy of the Great Mogul, had given early signs of tottering. Our Decorator, 'tis true, had pledged his neck to us for its security, and I had reposed on the pledge, presuming it the more valuable to a fellow who had nothing but his neck to lose. He had even given himself an experimental swing from its chain, and as neither its time nor his was yet come, he had been suspended in safety. But the general concussion, in which the very walls danced, at last reached the ceiling; a flying-claret jug gave the finishing blow, and down thundered the chandelier in a whirlwind of dust, plaster, and or-molu.

"In real alarm, I extricated myself from the chaos to ascertain the fate of my family, and found my unfortunate wife doubly overwhelmed by the general discomfiture, and the fall of an immense screen, which one of the village architects had, in the fulness of his ingenuity, converted into a partition between the salle de danse, as it was announced in our programme-for we had a programme too—and the supper-room; and which of course the first inundation of belles and beaux had swept away as if it had been gossamer.

66

Rescuing the partner of my joys and sorrows from the ruin, with the loss of a whole revenue in lace, feathers, and gros de Naples undone for ever; and leaving the ground covered over with a full crop of beads and bugles, I bore her, fainting and frightened out of all hope of glory for the night, up to her chamber, which I found already invaded by a festive crowd, whose. chief amusement was the examination of every little recess of those shrines in which beauty keeps her secrets against the ravages of time." Vol. i. pp. 35-39.

Notwithstanding these little "woes" at their first setting out, they continue to get along very well in the world, until a further accession of fortune, with a title, comes to lift up the aspirations of the ambitious wife of the new baronet, to still higher objects than had as yet excited them. Among other things, she pre

The member

vails upon her husband, very much against his better judgment, to squander an immense sum of money in a county election for a seat in Parliament. The motive which overcame his reluc tance, was an affront put upon his wife and daughters at a ball, by the family of a haughty patrician, who had hitherto been in the habit of disposing, at his own good will and pleasure, of the representation of the shire. To add, if possible, to the effect of this weighty reason, the Duke took it into his head to patronize the Molasses dynasty, and even to procure for the head of it, the title of Sir Mungo. Lady Molasses-" the better part" of her husband in every sense of the word-was determined he should write himself M. P. as well as Baronet. A tremendous contest ensues, in which our hero is succcessful. The election protested-new difficulties and troubles ensue. elect is overwhelmed with applications for his interest, and with the concerns of every body in the shire, His revenue, great as it was, fell alarmingly short of his expenditure, and his whole financial system threatened to be soon irretrievably deranged. Harrassed and perplexed beyond all sufferance by matters with which he had nothing to do, domestic "woes" of a more formidable character than he had ever yet known, await him. His son elopes with his governess-a soi-disant emigrée of figure and fashion, but in fact a soubrette player of the lowest class and the loosest morals, with a husband already on her hands; while two foreigners of distinction-with visages buried in whiskers and mustachios, afterwards discovered to be the assumed disguises of two villainous actors-hatch a plot to run away with his daughters, without their consent, which only intelligence most providentially communicated to him, enabled him, with the assistance of the police, to frustrate. And, finally, upon his arrival in London to take his seat in the House of Commons, he finds that his Majesty has been graciously pleased, for important reasons of state, to dissolve the Parliament! New writs of course issue. Sir Mungo takes the field again-and our hero, taught by his sore experience, determines to escape from temptations too strong for flesh and blood to resist, by running away to the continent, where we have had the happiness to hear his strange eventful history.

It will be perceived at the first glance, that "The Squire's Tale" is the very antitheton and antidote of a "fashionable novel." In this respect too it resembles the Vicar of Wakefield. Our readers will recollect the precious farce enacted at the Flamboroughs' by those distinguished personages, Lady Blarney and Miss Carolina Wilhelmina Amelia Skeggs-which, burlesque as it is, is not more extravagant than the dull imper

tinences and flippant balderdash of Almack's & Co. Indeed, we suspect these latter owe all their success to the very reason which the author just mentioned gives, for favouring us with that delectable specimen of "high life," viz. "that every reader, however beggarly himself, is fond of high-lived conversation, with anecdotes of lords, ladies, and knights of the garter."

We have not space to say anything more of these interesting tales. We will just add, that the second-entitled "Hebe, or the Wallachian's Tale"-is the most elaborate, (as it is by far the longest of any)—with a strong dash of orientalism in it. It presents some very pleasing pictures of Turkish life and manners, with a great variety of striking incidents, in a uniformly elegant and agreeable style. Of the minor tales, that entitled "The Married Actress," is, in our opinion, decidedly the best. It is perfectly well told, presents a just view of human character, and conveys an instructive moral lesson.

IN

NOTE OF THE EDITOR.

In consequence of an unlooked for difficulty in obtaining all the type necessary for printing with perfect accuracy, the continuation of the very learned and elaborate article on "The Celtic Druids," we are constrained to defer the publication of it until our next number.

INDEX

TO THE

THIRD VOLUME

THE SOUTHERN REVIEW.

Aze, M. his reflections on dinner and Borda, his Tables for the centesimal di.