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Mol. And what do you know of her? they will take all the care in their power, that I Spat. Oh, I know what I know,
shall not find them out-But I may be too hard Mol. Well!
[Alarmed. for you yet, young gentlewoman! I have earned Spat. I know who she is, and where she came but a poor livelihood by mere scandal and abuse ; from; I am very well acquainted with her fa- but if I could once arrive at doing a litte submily, and know her whole history.
stantial mischief, I should make my fortune. ilol. How can that be?
Enter Mrs Goodmax. Spat. Very easily-I have correspondence everywhere. As private as she may think her-Oh! your servant, Mrs Goodman! Yours is the self, it is not the first time that I have seen or most unsociable loulging-house in town. So many heard of Amelia.
ladies, and only one gentleman! and you won't Mol. Oh gracious! as sure as I am alive this take the least notice of him. man will discover us! [Apart.] Mr Spatter, my
Mrs Good. How so, Mr Spatter? dear Mr Spatter! if you know any thing, sure Spat. Why, did not you promise to introduce you would not be so cruel as to betray us! me to Amelia?
Spat. My dear Mr Spatter! Oho! I have Mrs Good. To tell you the plain truth, Mr guessed right—there is something then? Spatter, she don't like you. And, indeed, I don't
Mol. No, sir, there is nothing at all; nothing know how it is, but you make yourself a great that signifies to you or any body else.
Spal. Well, well. I'll say nothing; but then, Spat. Yes; I believe I do raise a little envy. you must
Mrs Good. Indeed you are mistaken, sır. As Mol. What?
you are a lodger of mine, it makes me quite unSpat. Come; kiss me, hussy !
easy to hear what the world says of you. How Mol. I say kiss you, indeed!
do you contrive to make so many enemies, Mr Spat. And you'll introduce me to your mis Spatter? tress?
Spat. Because I have merit, Mrs Goodman. Mol. Not I, I promise you.
Mrs Good. May be so ; but nobody will allow Spat. Nay, no mysteries between you and me, it but yourself. They say that you set up for a child! Come; here's the key to all locks, the wit, indeed; but that you deal in nothing but clue to every maze, and the discloser of all se- scandal, and think of nothing but mischief. crets; money, child! Here, take this purse; you Spat. I do speak ill of the men sometimes, to see I know something ; tell me the rest, and I be sure ; but then, I have a great regard for wohave the fellow to it in my pocket.
men-provided they are handsome: and, that I Mol. Ha, ha, ha! poor Mr Spatter! Where may give you a proof of it, introduce me to Amecould you get all this money, I wonder! Not by lia. your poetries, I believe. But what signibes tell Mrs Good. You must excuse me; she and you ing you any thing, when you are acquainted with would be the worst company in the world ; for our whole history already? You have correspond- she never speaks too well of herself, nor the least ence everywhere, you know. There, sir! take ill of any body else. And then her virtueup your filthy purse again, and remember, that I Spat. Pooh, pooh! she speaks ill of nobody, scorn to be obliged to any body but my mistress. because she knows nobody; and as for her virtue,
Spat. There's impudence for you! when, to ha, ha! my certain knowledge, your mistress has not a A[rs Good. You don't believe much in that, I guinea in the world; you live in continual fear suppose ? of being discovered; and you will both be utter Spat. I have not overinuch faith, Mrs Goodly undone in a fortnight, unless lord Falbridge man. Lord Falbridge, perhaps, may give a betshould prevent it, by taking Amelia under his ter account of it. protection. You understand me, child?
Mrs Good. Lord Falbridge can say nothing Mol. You scandalous wretch! Did you ever but what would be extremely to her honour, i hear such a monster? I won't stay a moment assure youl, sir. [SPATTER laughs.] Well, well, longer with him—But you are quite mistaken you may laugh, but it is very true. about me and my mistress, I assure you, sir. We Spat. Oh, I don't doubt it; but you don't tell are in the best circumstances in the world; we the whole truth, Mrs Goodman. When any of have nothing to fear; and we don't care a far- your friends or acquaintance sit for their picthing for you—So your servant, Mr Poet! tures, you draw a very flattering likeness. All
[Erit. characters have their dark side; and if they have Spat. Your servant, Mrs Pert! “ We are in but one eye, you give them in profile. Your the best circumstances in the world.” Ay, that great friend, Nr Freeport, for instance, whom is as much as to say, they are in the utinost dis- you are always praising for his benevolent actress. “We have nothing to fear.”—That is, tionsthey are frightened out of their wits—“And we Mrs Good. He is benevolence itself, sir. don't care a farthing for you.”—Meaning, that Spat. Yes, and grossness itself, too. I remem
ber him these many years. He always cancels Sir Wil. Lordship! I am no lord, sir, and must an obligation by the manner of conferring it; and beg not to be honoured with the name. does you a favour, as if he were going to knock Spat. It is a kind of mistake, that cannot disyou down.
please at least. Mrs Good. A truce with your satire, good Mr Sir Wil. I don't know that. None but a fool Spatter! Mr Freeport is my best friend; I owe would be vain of a title, if he had one; and none him every thing; and I can't endure the slightest but an impostor would assume a title, to which reflection on his character. Besides, he can have he has no right. given no offence to Lady Alton, whatever may
be Spat. Oh, you're of the house of commons, the case with Amelia,
then, a member of parliament, and are come up Spat. Lady Alton! she is a particular friend to town to attend the sessions, I suppose, sir? of mine to be sure ; but, between you and me, Sir Wil. No matter what I am, sir. Mrs Goodınan, a more ridiculous character than Spat. Nay, no offence, I hope, sir. All I meant any you have mentioned. A bel esprit forsooth! was to do you honour. Being concerned in two and as vain of her beauty as learning, without evening posts, and one morning paper, I was wilany great portion of either. A fourth grace, and ling to know the proper manner of announcing a tenth muse! who fancies herself enamoured of your arrival. Lord Falbridge, because she would be proud of Sir Wil. You have connexions with the press, such a conquest; and has lately bestowed some then, it seems, sir ? marks of distinction on me, because she thinks it Spat. Yes, sir; I am an humble retainer the will give her credit among persons of letters. Muses, an author. I compose pamphlets on all
Mrs Good. Nay, if you can't spare your own subjects, compile magazines, and do newspapers. friends, I don't wonder at your attacking mine Sir Wil. Do newspapers! What do you mean and so, sir, your humble servant.
y! by that, sir? here's a post-chaise stopped at our door; and Spat. That is, sir, I collect the articles of news here comes a servant with a portinanteau. 'Tis from the other papers, and make new ones for the gentleman for whom my first floor was taken, the postscript; translate the mails, write occaI suppose.
sional letters from Cato and Theatricus, and give Spat. Very likely: well, you will introduce me fictitious answers to supposed correspondents. to bim at least, Mrs Goodman.
Sir Wil. A very ingenious, as well as honour
able employment, I must confess, sir. Enter a Servant with a portmanteau-Sir Wil
Spat. Some little genius is requisite, to be LIAM Douglas following:
sure. Now, sir, if I can be of any use to youSir Wil. You are Mrs Goodman, I
any friend to be praised, or any enemadam ?
my to be abused; any author to cry up, or miniMrs Good. At your service, sir.
ster to run down; my pen and talents are enSir Wil. Mr Owen, I believe, has secured tirely at your service. apartments here?
Sir Wil. I am much obliged to you, sir; but, at Mrs Good. He has, sir.
present, I have not the least occasion for either. Sir Wil. They are for me, madam-Have you In return for your genteel offers, give me leave any other lodgers?
to trouble you with one piece of advice. When Mrs Good. Only that gentleman, sir; and a you deal in private scandal, have a care of the
cudgel; and when you meddle with public matSpat. Of great beauty and virtue. Eh, Mrs ters, beware of the pillory. Goodman?
Spat. How, sir! are you no friend to literaMrs Good. She has both, sir; but you will see ture? Are you an enemy to the liberty of the very little of her, for she lives in the most retired press? manner in the world.
Sir Wil. I have the greatest respect for both; Sir Wil. Her youth and beauty are matter of but railing is the disgrace of letters, and personal great indifference to me; for I shall be as much abuse the scandal of freedoin : foul-mouthed a recluse as herself.- Is there any news at pre- critics are, in general, disappointed authors; and sent stirring in London?
they, who are the loudest against ministers, only Mrs Good. Mr Spaiter can inform you, sir, mean to be paid for their silence. for he deals in news. In the mean while, I'll Spat. That may be sometimes, sir; but give prepare your apartments.
me leave to ask you [Erit, followed by the servant. -SIR Sir Wil. Do not ask me at present, sir! I see
WILLIAM walks up and down, without a particular friend of mine coming this way, and taking notice of SPATTER.
I must beg you to withdraw ! Spat. [Aside) This must be a man of quality, Spat. Withdraw, sir! first of all, allow me by his ill manners. I'll speak to him.-wili to your lordship give me leave
Sir Wil. Nay, no reply! we must be in pri[To Sir William. vate,
[Thrusting out Spatter, Vol. II.
What a wretcli! as contemptible as mischievous. Owen. Be advised; depart, and leave that care Our generous mastiffs fly at men from an instinct to me. Consider, your life is now at stake. of courage ; but this fellow's attacks proceed from Sir Wil. My life has been too miserable to an instinct of baseness -But here comes the render me very solicitous for its preservationfaithful Owen, with as many good qualities as But the complection of the times is changed; that execrabie fellow seems to have bad ones. the very name of the party, in which I was unEnter Owen.
bappily engaged, is extinguished, and the whole
nation is unanimously devoted to the throne. Well, Owen; I am safe arrived, you see. Disloyalty and insurrection are now no more,
Owen. Ah, sir! would to heaven you were as ) and the sword of justice is suffered to sleep. If safe returned again! Have a care of betraying I can find my child, and find her worthy of me, yourself to be sir William Douglas !--During I will fly with her to take refuge in some foreign your stay here, your name is Ford, remember. country; if I am discovered in the search, I have
Sir Wil. I shall take care-But tell me your still some hopes of mercy. news—What have you done since your arrival? Owen. Heaven grant your hopes may be well Have you heard any thing of my daughter? Have founded ! you seen lord Brumpton? Has he any hope of Sir Wil. Come, Owen ! let us behave at least obtaining my pardon?
with fortitude in our adversity! Follow me to Owen. Ile had, sir.
my apartment, and let us consult what measures Sir Wil. And what can have destroyed it, we shall take in searching for Amelia. [Exeunt. then ?
Owen. My lord Brumpton is dead, sir. SCENE II.-—Changes to Amelia's apartment.
Enter AMELIA and MOLLY. good health; he promised to exert bis whole in Ame. Poor Molly! to be teased with that terest in your favour : by his own apoointment I odious fellow, Spatter! went to wait on him yesterday noon, when I was Mol. But, madam, Mr Spatter says he is acstunned with the news of his having died sudden- quainted with your whole history. ly the evening before.
Ame. Mere pretence, in order to render himSir Wil. My lord Brumpton dead! the only self formidable. Be on your guard against him, friend I had remaining in England ; the only per- my dear Molly; and remember to conceal my son, on whose intercession I relied for my par- misery from him and all the world. I can bear don. Cruel fortune! I have now no hope but to poverty, but am not proof against insult and confind my daughter. Tell me, Owen; have you tempt. been able to hear any tidings of her?
Nol. Ah, my dear mistress, it is to no purpose Owen. Alas, sir, none that are satisfactory. to endeavour to hide it from the world. They On the death of Mr Andrews, in whose care you will see poverty in my looks. As for you, you left her, being cruelly abandoned by the relation can live upon the air; the greatness of your who succeeded to the estate, she left the country soul seems to support you; but, lack-a-day! I some months ago, and has not since been heard shall grow thinner and thinner every day of my of.
life. Sir Wil. Unhappy there, too! When will the Ame. I can support my own distress, but yours measure of my misfortunes be full? When will touches me to the soul. Poor Molly ! the labour the malice of my fate be satisfied ? Proscribed, of my hands shall feed and clothe you—Here! condemned, attainted, (alas, but too justly!) i dispose of this embroidery to the best advantage; have lost my rank, my estate, my wife, my son, what was formerly my amusement, must now he and all my family! One only daughter remains ! come the means of our subsistence. Let us be Perhaps a wretched wanderer, like myself, per- obliged to nobody, but owe our support to inhaps in the extremest indigence, perhaps disho- dustry and virtue. noured-Ha! that thought distracts me!
Mol. You're an angel ! let me kiss those dear Ouen. My dear master, have patience! Do hands that have worked this precious embroi. not be ingenious to torment yourself, but consult dery ! let me bathe them with my tears! You're your safety, and prepare for your departure. an angel upon carth. I had rather starve in your
Sir Wil. No, Ouren. Hearing, providentially, service, than live with a princess. What can I of the death of my friend Andrews, paternal care do to cenfort you? and tenderness drew me hither; and I will not Ame. Thou faithful creature-only continue to quit the kingdom, till I learn something of my be secret : you know my real character; you child, my dear Amelia, whom I left a tender in- know I am in the utmost distress : I have opened nocent, in the arms of the best of women, twenty my heart to you, but you will plant a dagoer years ago. Her sex demands protection; and there, if you betray me to the world. she is now of an age, in which she is more expo Mol. Ah, my dear mistress, how should I besed to misfortunes, than even in helpless infancy. tray you! I go no where, I converse with nobody
but yourself and Mrs Goodman : besides, the dam, sends her compliments, and will wait upon world is very indifferent about other people's you after dinner. misfortunes.
Mrs Good. Very well; my best respects to her Ame. The world is indifferent, it is true; but ladyship, and I shall be ready to attend her. it is curious, and takes a cruel pleasure in tear- [Erit Servant.] There, there is one cause of ing open the wounds of the unfortunate. your oneasiness! Lady Alton's visit is on your
account. She thinks you have robbed her of Enter Mrs GOODMAN.
lord Falbridge's affections, and that is the oc
casion of her honouring me with her company. Mrs Goodman !
Ame. Lord Falbridge's affections ! Mrs Good. Excuse me, madamn: I took the Mrs Good. Ah! my dear Amelia, you don't liberty of waiting on you to receive your com- know your power over his heart. You have remands. 'Tis now near three o'clock. You have conciled it to virtue—But come! let me prevail provided nothing for dinner, and have scarce on you to come with ine to dinner. taken any refreshment these three days.
Ame. You must excuse ine. Ame. I have been indisposed.
Mrs Good. Well, well, then I'll send you Mrs Good. I am afraid you are more than in something to your own apartment. If you have disposed---You are unhappy-Pardon me! but I any other commands, pray honour me with them, cannot help thinking that your forturie is unequal for I would fain oblige you, if I knew how it to your appearance.
were in my power.
[Erit. Ime. Why should you think so? You never Ame. What an amiable woman
n! If it had not heard me complain of iny
been for her apparent benevolence and goodness Mrs Good. No, but I have too much reason of heart, I should have left the house on Mr to believe it is inferior to your merit.
Spatter's coming to lodge in it. Ame. Indeed, you flatter me.
Mol. Lady Alton, it seems, recommended him Mrs Good. Come, come; you must not indulge as a lodger" here; so he can be no friend of this melancholy. I have a new lodger, an elder- yours on that account; for to be sure she owes ly gentleman, just arrived, who does me the hon- you no good will on account of my lord Falour to partake of my dinner ; and I must have bridge. your company, too, He seems to be in trouble, Ame. No more of lord Falbridge, I beseech as well as you. You must meet; two persons you, Molly. How can you persist in mentioning in affliction may perhaps become a consolation him, when you know, that, presuming on my situto each other. Come, let us take some care of ation, he has dared to affront me with dishonouryou.
able proposals ? Ame. Be assured, Mrs Goodman, I am much Mol. Ah, madam, but he sorely repents it, I obliged to you
your attention to me; but I promise you, and would give his whole estate want nothing.
for an opportunity of seeing you once more, and Mrs Good. Dear madam! you say you want geting into your good graces again. nothing, and you are in want of every
Ame. No; his ungenerous conduct has thrown
him as much below me, as my condition had Enter Servant.
placed me beneath him. He imagined he had a
right to insult my distress; but I will teach him Ser. (To Mrs Goodman.) Lady Alton, ma to think it respectable.
SCENE I.-An apartment at Mrs Goodman's. | standing. I begin to suspect you have betrayed
me; you have gone over to the adverse party, Enter LADY Alton and SPATTER. and are in the conspiracy to abuse me.
Spat. I, madam! Neither her beauty, nor her Spat. But you won't hear me, madam! virtue
Lady Alt. I have heard too much, sir! This Lady Alt. Her beauty! her virtue! Why, wandering incognita a woman of virtue! I have thou wretch, thou grub of literature, whom I, as no patience.
a patroness of learning and encourager of men Spat. Mrs Goodman pretends to be convinced of letters, willing to blow the dead coal of geof her being a person of honour.
nius, fondly took under my protection, do you reLady Alt. A person of honour, and openly re member what I have done for you? ceive visits from men ! seduce lord Falbridge ! Spat. With the utmost gratitude, madam. No, no ! reserve this character for your next Lady Alt, Did not I draw you out of the garnovel, Mr Spatter! it is an affront to my under- ret, where you daily spun out your flimsy brain
to catch the town flies in your cobweb disserta Lady Alt. Of what consequence can they pose
with Spat. Yes, a syllogism : · as, for example, any Greek and Latin mottoes for your twopenoy person who is a native of Scotland, and wishes to essays?
be concealed, must be an enemy to the governSpat. I acknowledge all your ladyship's good- ment. Amelia is a native of Scotland, and wishes ness to me. I have done every thing in my power to be concealed. Ergo, Amelia is an enemy to to shew my gratitude, and fulfil your ladyship’s the government. commands.
Ludy Alt. Excellent! admirable logic! but I Lady Alt. Words, words, Mr Spatter ! You wish we could prove it to be truth. have been witness of lord Falbridge's incon Spat. I would not lay a wager of the truth of staney. A perfidious man! False as Phaon to it; but I would swear it, Sappho, or Jason to Medea! You have seen him Lady Alt, What, on a proper occasion, and in desert ine for a wretched vagabond; you have a proper place, my good Spatter? seen me abandoned like Calypso, without mak Spat. Willingly; we must make use of what ing a single etfort to recall my faithless Ulysses we know, and even of what we don't know. — from the Siren that has lured him from me. Truth is of a dry and simple nature, and stands
Spat. Be calm but one moment, madam, and in need of some little ornament. A lie, indeed, I'll
is infamous; but fiction, your ladyship, who deals iady Alt. Bid the sea be calm, when the in poetry, knows is beautiful. winds are let loose upo.. it. I have reason to be Lady Att. But the substance of your fiction, enrassol. I placed you in genteel apartments Spatter? in this house, merely to plant you as a spy; and Sput. I will lodge an information, that the fac what have you done for me? ilave you employ- ther of Amelia is a disaffected person, and has ed your correspondence to any purpose? or dis
sent her to London for treasonable purposes: covered the real character of this infamous wo pay, I can, upon occasion, even suppose the fa. man, this insolent Amelia ?
ther himself to be in London : in consequence Spat. I have taken every possible method to of which, you will probably recover lord Faldetect her. I have watched Amelia herself like bridge, and Amelia will be committed to pria bailiff, or a duenva; I have overheard private son. conversations; have sounded the landlady; tam Lady Alt. You have given me new life. I pered with the servants; opened letters; and took you for a mere stainer of paper; but I have intercepted messayes.
found you a Machiavel. I hear somebody coLudy Alt. Good creature ! my best Spatter! Ining. Mrs Goodman has undertaken to send And what?—what have you discovered?
Amelia hither. Ha! she's here—Away, SpatSpat. That Amelia is a native of Scotland; ter, and wait for me at my house : you must that her surname, Walton, is probably not real, dine with me; and, after dinner, like true polibut assumed; and that she earnestly wishes to ticians, we will settle our plan of operations over conceal both the place of her birth, and her fa our coffee. Away, away this instant ! mily. Lady Alt. And is that all?
[Exit SPATTER. Spat. All that I have been able to learn as A convenient engine this Mr Spatter : the most yet, madam.
impudent thorougb-paced knave in the three Lady Alt. Wretch ! of what service have you bingdoms! with the heart of Zoilus, the pen of been, then? Are these your boasted talents ? ilavius, and the tongue of Thersites. I was When we want to unravel an ambiguous charac-sure he would stick at nothing. The writings of ter, vou have made out that she wishes to lie authors are public advertisements of their qualiconcealed; and when we wish to know who she fications; and when they profess to live upon is, you have just discovered that she is a native scandal, it is as much as to say, that they are reaof Scotland !
dy for every other dirty work, in which we chuse Sput. And yet, if you will give me leave, ma to employ them. But now for Amelia: if she dam, I think I could convince you that these dis- proves tractable, I may forego the use of this coveries, blind and unsatisfactory as they may villain, who almost makes me hate iny triumpb, appear to you at first, are of no small conse and be ashamed of my revenge. quence: