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will give up.
why [Smiling.) as to the matter of three hundred Sir Bash. The authority of a husband I never pound
Lady Con. A storm, a whirlwind is fitter to Enter FURNISH, with a band-bor. converse with.
Sir Bash. I will storm like a whirlwind in my Fur. Your ladyship’s things from the milliner's. own house. I have done, madam : you are an Sir Bash. Death and fury, this woman has ungovernable woman --[Aside, and smiling.) she overheard me! Three hundred pounds, madam! is a charming woman; and if nobody saw it, I [In a violent passion.] let me tell you that three would let her govern me with all niy
heart. huodred pounds-what right have you to shovel
[Exit Sir Bashful. away three hundred pounds ?'
Lady Con. Did any body ever see such behaLady Con. Why does the man fly out into such viour? a passion?
Fur. Never; and how your ladyship bears it, Ser Bash. I will allow no such doings in my I can't tell. bouse. Don't I often come when my ball is be Lady Con. That it should be my fate to be sieged with a parcel of powder-monkey servants? married to such a quicksand! What does Mrs And did not I the other day, before I could get Lovemore say? into my own doors, entangle myself among the Fur. If your ladyship will be at home, she inchairmen's poles, and was not I confined there, tends to do herself the pleasure of waiting upon like a man in the stocks?
Lady Con. Why would you be so awkward ? Lady Con. Very well ; I shall be at home.
Sir Bash. An eternal scene of routs and drums. Upon recollection, I want to see her. Let the Have not I seen you put a fec-simple of a score servant wait: I'll write an answer. of my best acres upon a single card? And have
[Erit Lady CONSTANT. not I muttered to inyself, if that woman was as much in love with me as she is with Pam, what SCENE II.-Another apartment. an excellent wife she would make! Lady Con. Pam is very obliging. Why won't
Enter Sir BashFUL and LOVEMORE. you strive to be as agreeable?
Sir Bash. Walk in, Mr Lovemore, walk in. Sir Bash. 'Sdeath, madam, you are so fond of I am heartily glad to see you. This is kind. play, that I should not wonder to see my next Love. I am ready, you see, to attend the call child marked on the forehead with a pair of royal of friendship. aces.
Sir Bash. Mr Lovemore, you are a friend, inFur. I am sure you deserve to be marked on deed. the forehead with a pair of
Love. You do me honour, sir Bashful. And Sir Bash. Malapert hussy! do you meddle? your lady, how does she do? Begone this moment!
[Erit FURNISH. Sir Bash. Perfectly well : in great spirits. Lady Con. Fy upon it, sir Bashful! I am tired (Smiling at LoveMORE.] I never saw her look of blushing for you.
better : but we have had t'other skirmish since I Sir Bash. I am afraid I have gone too far: she saw you. is ashamed of me.
[Aside. Live. Another? Lady Con. You agreed to a separation the Sir Bash. Ay, another; and I did not bate ber other day, and there remains nothing but to ex
She is a rare one to argue. She is fit ecute articles, and make an end of all this dis- to discuss a point with any man. Nobody like quiet.
her. Wit at will. I thought I managed the disSir Bash. A separate maintenance will go but pute, and that I should soon bave had her at a little way to answer the bawling of milliners, what you call a non-plus. But no, no; no such mercers, jewellers, and gaming debts.
thing; she can give you a sharp turn in a moLady Con. It will purchase content; and nothing can obtain that under
Love. Ay! Sir Bash. [ Aside.) I have shot my bolt too far Sir Bask. Give her her due, I am nothing to -I fancy, my lady Constant, that you don't know her. I thought I had her fast; but she went me. We might explain matters, and—'sdeath! round me quick as lightning : and would you be(.Aside.] I am going to blab I say, madam, if lieve it? (Looks highly pleased.] She did not you understand me rightly -as to the authority leave me a word to say. of a husband, I might, perhaps, be brought to
Love. Well! that was hard upon you. give it up, in part at least; and if nobody was Sir Bash. No, not hard at all. Those little the wiser, I might connive-Po! confusion! in- victories I don't mind. You know I told you I terrupted again by that
had something for your private ear.
observed nothing odd and singular in me? Enter FURNISH.
Love. Not in the least. In the whole circle Fur. A servant from Mrs Loverore, madam, of my acquaintance, I know nobody so little tinto know
ged with oddity.
Sir Bash. What, have you seen nothing ? once, my inclinations are totally changed—no, Laughs.] Have you remarked nothing particu- not changed, but they are not what they seemed lar in regard to my wife?
to be. Love is the passion that possesses meLove. Why, you don't live happy with her : I am in love, and—[Turns from him.] and I am but that is not a singular case.
ashamed of myself! Sir Bash. But I tell you—this must be in con Lode.-Ashamed! love is a noble passion : but fidence I am, at the bottom, a very odd fel- don't let me hear any more about it. Lady Conlow.
stant will discover all, and then the blame will Love. You do yourself injustice, Sir Bashful.
fall on me. If your heart revolts from her, Sir Bash. No, not in the least. It is too true don't let me be thought in league with you.I am in the main a very odd fellow; I am in- You need not involve me in a quarrel with her deed; as odd a fish as lives; and you must have ladyship. seen it before pow.
Šir Bash. You don't take me right. You are Love. I see it! I am not apt to spy defects in wide, quite wide of the mark. Hear me out, my friends. What can this be? You are not Love. No, no more. You must excuse me. jealous, I hope?
Sir Bash. You shall hear me. The object of Sir Bash. You have not hit the right nail on my passion, this charming woman, whom I dote the head.
No, not jealous. Do her justice, I on to distractionam safe as to that point. My lady has high no Love. Your pardon; I won't hear it-(Walks tions of honour. No, it is not that.
away from him.] When her ladyship hears of his Love. Not a ray of light to guide me: ex- gallantry, the devil is in the dice, if the spirit of plain, sir Bashful.
revenge does not mould her to my purposes. Sir Bash. [Smiling at him.] You could never
Sir Bash. Following LOVEMORE.) I say, Mr have imagined it. But, first, let me shut this door. Loremore, this adorable creatureLove. What whim has got possession of him Love. Keep your secret, sir Bashful.
[Avoiding him.) Sir Bash. Mr Lovemore, I have great depen Sir Bash. (Following him.] Who looks so lovedence upon you. I am going to make a disco- ly in my eyesvery. I blush at the very thought of it![Turns away. Love. Well; I don't desire to know her. Love. Be a man, sir Bashful; out with it at Sir Bash. You do know her. (Following him.] ; let me advise you.
This idol of my heart is my own wife. Sir Bash. The very thing I want. The affair Love. [Stares at him.] Your own wife? is—but then if he should betray me! Mr Love Sir Bush. Yes, my own wife. [Looks silly, and more, I doubt you, and yet esteem you. Some turns away.] 'Tis all over with me: I am unmen there are, who, when a confidence is repo- done ! sed in them, take occasion, from thence, to hold a Love. This is the most unexpected discovery! hank over their friend, and tyrannize him all the Sir Bush. Look ye there now! he laughs at rest of his days.
me already. Love. O fy! this is ungenerous. True friend Love. Aside.] His wife must not know this. ship is of another quality: it feels from sympa- The grass is cut under my feet, if she ever hears thy; honour is the active principle; and the a word of it. strictest secrecy is an inviolable rule.
Șir Bash. [Aside.] He is struck with amazeSir Bash. Mr Lovemore, I have no further ment, and does not say a word to me. doubt-stay; did not you hear a noise ? Don't I Love. [Aside.] I must not encourage him.see a shadow moving under the bottom of that | And can this be possible, sir Bashful? In love door?
[Goes to the door. with your own wife? Love. What has got into his head?
Sir Bash. Spare my confusion! I have made Sir Bash. (Looking out.] Servants have a way myself very ridiculous. (Looks at him, and turns of listening.
away.] I know I have. Love. Rank jealousy! he has it through the Lote. Ridiculous! Far from it. Can it be
wrong to love a valuable woman? Not to feel Sir Bash. No, no; all's safe. Mr Lovemore, the impressions of beauty and of merit were I will make you the depositary, the faithful de- downright insensibility; but then we should alpositary of a secret : let it pass from the bottom ways adınire with discretion. The folly of us of my heart to the inmost recess of yours: there married men consists in letting our wives perceive let it rest, concealed from every prying eye. My the vehemence with which we love; and the inclination-There! 1 see a laugh already form- consequence is, we are enslaved for the rest of ing in every feature of your face.
our lives. I could trust you with a secret, which, Love. Then, my face is no true index of my perhaps, would keep you in countenance. Could mind. Were you to know the agitations in you imagine it? I love my wife. which you keep me by this suspense
Sir Bash. How?
Sir Bash. Oh! no, no; hey! (Looking highly , figure there. I could shew her in any company pleased.] you make ine laugh. You don't love in England: I wish she could say the same of her, do you?
Love. Passionately, tenderly; with all the ar Love. Why, truly, I wish she could. dour of affection.
Sir Bash. But that's out of the question. Sir Bash. Give me your hand. Ha! ha! ! Now, if you will come into my scheme-It must did not expect this. This is some relief. Ha! ha! be a deep secret-How? Is that Sir Brilliant's you have made me happy. And have you led voice? the life you have done all this time, on purpose to conceal your regard from her?
Enter Sir BRILLIANT. Love. For that very purpose. I estcem her; I love her; but I would not have her know it. Sir Bril. Sir Bashful, you see what attraction Sir Bash. No!
you have. Lovemore, I did not expect to sce Love. Upon no consideration; nor would I you here. have the world know it.
Love. Nor did I expect you, Sir Brilliant. Sir Bash. Perfectly right.
[Aside. Love. To be sure. Tell your wife that you
Sir Bash. Confusion ! This unseasonable vicsteem her good qualities, and admire her
[Aside. son, she cries, Victoria, falls to plundering, and Sir Bril. And your lady, is she at home, Sir then you must either break her chain, or wear it Bashful? in the face of the world, a laughing-stock for all Sir Bash. IL n people keep that account, your acquaintance.
sir : I know notinig of her, Sir Bush. That is what I have always been a Sir Bril. Nay, never talk slightingly of a lady, fraid of.
who possesses so many elegant accomplishments, Love. Not without reason. The world de- She has spirit, sense, wit, and beauty. lights in ridicule. Do you know, if our secrets
Sir Bash. Spirit, sense, wit, and beauty! she were to transpire, that we should have nothing has them all, sure enough.- Sir, I am no sworn but wit, and raillery, and fleers, and taunts, fly- appraiser, to take an inventory of her effects.-ing about our ears?
[Aside.] Hey, Lovemore! Sir Bash. But I have taken good care. I have
Looks at him, and laughs. quarrelled with my lady ten times a-day, on pur Love. (To Sır BasUFUL.] Vastly well. pose to cloak the affair, and prevent all suspi Sir Bril. Is her ladyship visible this morning ?
Sir Bash. Whether she is visible, or not, is no Love. Admirable! I commend your prudence. business of mine; but I know she is unintelliBesides,my lady Constant, you know, has some gible this morning, aud incomprehensible this youthful vigour about her; a graceful person, and morning. She has the vapours; but your conan eye that inflames desire; and desire at your versation, I suppose, will brighten her up for the time of life, you know
rest of the day. Sir Bash. Po! it is not for that; that is no Sir Bril. Why, as it happens, I have the thing. I wear adinirably well, Mr Lovemore. rarest piece of news to communicate to her! Lure. Do you?
Lovemore, you know sir Amorous la Fool? Sir Bush. As young as ever: but I don't let Love. He that was sheriff the other day? her know it.
Came up with an address, and got himself Love. Well! if you are discreet in that point, knighted you are a very Machiavel!
Sir Bril. The same. He declared he would Sir Bash. Yes, yes ; I fight cunning. (Laughs. live with his friends upon the same familiar foot
Love. Let nothing betray you. Be upon your ing as before, and his new diguities should make guard : that is my own plan exactly. You want no alteration, no advice from me.
Sir Bash. I have seen the knight. What of Sir Bash. Pardon me: you can assist me.
him? My dear brother suferer, give me your hand.
Sir Bril. Poor devil! he is in such a scrape ! We
can, in a sly way, be of great use to each Sir Bash. What's the matter? Bubbled at other.
play, I suppose ? Love. As how?
Sir Brit. Worse, much worse. Sir Bash. I'll tell you. There are some things
Love. He has been blackballed at one of the which, you know, our wives expect to be done. clubs? Love, So there are,
-[Aside.] What the de Sir Bash. Or run through the body in a duel? vil is he at now?
Sir Bril. Why, that's a scrape indeed : but it Sir Bash. Now, if you will assist me is not that. Love. You may depend upon my assistance. Sir Bash. What then?
Sir Bush. Thus it is: my wife, you know, Sir Bril. So unfortunate a discovery; he is keeps a power of company, and makes a great fallen in love I cannot help laughing at him. Vol. II.
Love. Po ! fallen in love with some coquette, medy; and what do you think he has done? He who plays off her airs, and makes a jest of has drawn the character of sir Amorous, and him.
made him the hero of the play. Sir Bash. A young actress, may be, or an Sir Bash. What! put him into a comedy?
Sir Bril. Even so. It is called, 'The AmoSir Bril. No; you will never guess. Sir Bash rous Husband; or, The Man in Love with his ful— like a silly devil, he is fallen in love with his own wife.! Oh! oh! oh! oh! own wife.
Love. We must send in time for places. Sir Bash. Fallen in love with his own wife!
[Laughs with Sir BRILLIANT. Stares at him. Sir Bash. Lovemore carries it with an air. Sir Bril. Yes; he has made up all quarrels;
Aside. his jealousy is at an end; and he is to be upon Sir Bril. Yes, we must secure places. Sir his good behaviour for the rest of his life. Bashful, you shall be of the party. Could you expect this, Lovemore?
Sir Bash. The party will be very agreeable. I Love. No, sir; neither I, nor my friend, sir shall enjoy the joke prodigiously! Ha! ha! Bashful, expected this.
[Forces a laugh. Sir Bash. It is a stroke of surprise to me. Love. Yes, sir Bashful, we shall relish the hu(Looking uneasy.
[Looks at him, and laughs. Sir Bril I heard it at my lady Betty Scan Sir Bril. The play will have a run : the peodal's; and we had such a laugi. the whole com- ple of fashion will crowd after such a character. pany were in astonishment : naist stood still, | -I must drive to a million of places, and put it quadrille laid down the cards, and brag was in about; but first, with your leave, sir Bashful, I in suspense. Poor sir Amorous ! it is very ridi- will take the liberty to give a hint of the affair culous; is not it, sir Bashful?
to your lady. It will appear so ridiculous to Sir Bash. Very ridiculous, indeed.—[ Aside.] | her. My own case, exactly, and my friend Lovemore's, Sir Bash. Do you think it will? too.
Sir Bril. Without doubt : she has never met Sir Bril. The man is lost, undone, ruined, with any thing like it : has she, Lovemore? dead, and buried.
Love. I fancy not: Sir Bashful, you take care Love. (Laughing.) He will never be able to of that. shew his face after this discovery.
Sir Bash. Yes, yes: I shall never be the townSir Bril. Oh, never, 'tis all over with him. talk.—Hey, Lovemore ! Sir Bashful, this does not divert you; you don't Sir Bril. Well, I'll step and pay my respects enjoy it.
to my lady Constant. Poor sir Amorous! he Sir Bash. Who, I?-I-I--nothing can be will have his horns added to his coat of arms in more pleasant, and-1-laugh as heartily as I a little time. Ha! ha!
[Erit. possibly can.
(Forcing a laugh. Sir Bash. There, you see how it is. I shall Sir Bril
. Loremore, you remember Sir Amo-get lampooned, be-rhymed, and piched into a corous used to strut, and ialk big, and truly he did medy. not care a pinch of snuff for his wife, not he! Love. Po! never be frightened at this. Nopretended to be as much at ease as sir Bashful body knows of your weakness but myself; and I about bis lady, and as much his own master can't betray your secret for my own sake. as you yourself, or any man of pleasure about Sir Bash. Very true. town.
Love. This discovery shews the necessity of Love. I remember him : But as to sir Bashful concealing our loves. We must act with cauand myself, we know the world; we understand tion. Give my lady no reason to suspect that life.
you bave the least kindness for her. Sir Bash. So we do; the world will never Sir Bash. Not for the world. have such a story of us. Will they, Lovemore? Love. Keep to that.
Love. Oh ! we are free; we are out of the Sir Bash. I have done her a thousand kindscrape.
nesses, but all by stealth ; all in a sly way. Sir Bril. Sir Amorous la Fool will be a pro Love. Have you ? verb. Adieu, for him, the side-box whisper, the Sir Bash, Oh! a multitude. I'll tell you. She soft assignation, and all the joys of freedom! He has been plaguing me a long time for an addition is retired with his Penelope to love one another to her jewels. She wants a diamond cross, and in the country; and next winter they will come a better pair of diamond buckles. Madam, says to town to hate one another.
I, I will have no such trumpery; but then goes Sir Bash. Do you think it will end so? I, and bespeaks them of the first jeweller in
Sir Bril. No doubt of it. That is always the town-all under the rose, The buckles are fidenouement of modern matrimony. But I have nished : worth five hundred! She will have thein not told you the worst of his case. Our friend, this very day, without knowing from what quarsir Charles Wildfire, you know, was writing a co ter they conie-- I can't but laugh at the contri
vance—the man that brings them will run away
Enter SiR BRILLIANT. directly, without saying a word.
[Laughs heartily. Sir Bril. Sir Bashful, how have you managed Love. Sly, sly-You know what you are this? about.
Sir Bash. I have no art, no management. Sir Bash. Ay, let me alone- [Laughs with What's the matter? LOVEMORE.) And then, to cover the design still Sir Bril. I don't know what you have done, more, when I see her wear her baubles, I can but your lady laughs till she is ready to expire at take occasion to be as jealous as bedlam. what I have been telling her.
Love. So you can : ha! ha!--[Aside.) I wish Sir Bush. And she thiuks sir Amorous la Fool he may never be jealous of me in good ear an object of ridicule?
Sir Bril. She does not give credit to a single Sir Bash. Give me your hand. [Looks at him, syllable of the story. A man that loves his wife and laughs.] I am safe, I think?
would be a Phænix indeed ! Such a thing might Love. (Laughing with him.] Perfectly safe, exist formerly, but, in this polished age, is no [Aside.] if it was not for his own folly,
where to be found. That's her opinion of the Sir Bash. But I was telling you, Mr Love- matter. more :-we can be of essential use to each other. Sir Bash. (Laughs.] A whimsical notion of Love. As how, pray?
hers ! and so she thinks you may go about with Sir Bush. Why, my lady is often in want of a lawthorn to find a man that sets any value upon money. It would be ridiculous in me to supply his wife? her. Now, if you will take the money from me, Sir Bril. You have managed to convince her and pretend to lend it to her, out of friendship, of it. How the devil do you contrive to govern
so fine a woman? I know several, without ber Love. Nothing can be better—[Aside.] Here pretensions, who have long ago thrown off'all reis a fellow pimping for his own horns. --I shall straint. You keep up your dignity. be glad to serve you.
Sir Bash. Yes, I know what I am about. Sir Bash. I am for ever obliged to you, here, Sir Bril. You !-you are quite in the fashion, here; take it now-here it is in bank-notes -Apropos; I fancy I shall want you to afford one, two, three; there is three hundred-give her me your assistance. You know my lady Charthat, and tell her you have more at her service !otte Modelove ? She has a taste for the theatre : to-morrow, or next day, if her occasions require at Bell-Grove Place she has an elegant stage, it.
where her select friends amuse theinselves now Love. My good friend, to oblige you. [Takes and then with a representation of certain comic the money.) This is the rarest adventure! pieces. We shall there act the new comedy ;
Sir Bash. I'll do any thing for you in return. but we apprehend some difficulty in the arrangeLove. I shall have occasion for your friend- ment of the several characters. Now, you shall ship-—that is, to forgive me, if you find me out. act sir Amorous, and
[ Aside. Sir Bash. I act, sir !—I know nothing of the Sir Bash. Lose no time; step to her now
character. bold, hold; sir Brilliant is with her.
Sir Bril. Po! say nothing of that. In time Love. I can dismiss him.
Rely upon my you may reach the ridiculous absurdity of it, and friendship: I will make her ladyship easy for play it as well as another. you.
Šir Bash. [Aside.] Confusion ! he does not Sir Bash. It will be kind of you.
suspect, I hope-divert yourselves, sir, as you Love. It shall be her own fault if I don't. may; but not at my expence I promise you.
Sir Bash. A thousand thanks to you-well, Sir Bril. Never be so abrupt. Who knows is not this the rarest project ?
but lady Constant may be the happy wife, the Love. It is the newest way of satisfying a Cara Sposa of the piece ! and then, you in love man's wife!
with her, and she laughing at you for it, will give Sir Bash. Ay! let this head of mine alone. a zest to the humour, which every body will re
Love. [Aside.] Not, if I can help it. Hush !- lish in the most exquisite degree. I hear sir Brilliant; he is coming down stairs. Şir Bash. Po ! this is too much. You are I'll take this opportunity, and step to her lady- very pleasant, but you won't easily get me to play ship now.
the fool. Sir Bash. Do so, do so.
Sir Bril. Well, consider of it. I shall be deLove. I am gone. (Aside.] Who can blame me lighted to see my friend sir Bashful tied to his now, if I cuckold this fellow?
[Erit. wife's apronstring, and, with a languishing look, Sir Bash. Prosper you, prosper you, Mr Love- melting away in admiration of her charms. Oh, more. Make me thankful! he is a true friend. ho, ho, ho !--adicu; a l'honneur; good mornI don't know what I should do without him.
ing, sir Bashful.