Phil. We don't think it safe, any more than you gentry, to come together without deeds executed.

Luc. Thou art a pert, merry hussy. Phil. I wish, madam, your lover and you were as happy as Tom and your servant are. Luc. You grow impertinent.

Phil. I have done, madam; and I won't ask you what you intend to do with Mr Myrtle, what your father will do with Mr Bevil, nor what you all, especially my lady, mean by admitting Mr Cimberton as particularly here as if he were married to you already; nay, you are married actually, as far as people of quality are.

Luc. How's that?

shame left! to be bartered for like the beasts of the field; and that in such an instance as coming together, to an entire familiarity, and union of soul and body; and this without being so much as well-wishers to each other, but for increase of fortune!

Phil. But, madam, all these vexations will end very soon in one for all: Mr Cimberton is your mother's kinsman, and three hundred years an older gentleman than any lover you ever had; for which reason, with that of his prodigious large estate, she is resolved on him, and has sent to consult the lawyers accordingly; nay, has, whether you know it or no, been in treaty with sir Geoffrey, who, to join in the settlement, has

expected in town for that purpose.

Phil. Then, Mr Myrtle

Luc. He had my parents' leave to apply to me, and, by that, he has won me and my affections: who is to have this body of mine, without then, it seems, is nothing to me: my mother says, 'tis indecent for me to let my thoughts stray about the person of my husband; nay, she says a maid rightly virtuous, though she may have been where her lover was a thousand times, should not have made observations enough to know him from another man, when she sees him in a third place.

Phil. That's more than the severity of a nun; for, not to see when one may, is hardly possible; not to see when one can't, is very easy at this rate, madam, there are a great many whom you have not seen, who————

Luc. Mamma says, the first time you see your husband, should be at that instant he is made so. When your father, with the help of the minister, gives you to him, then you are to see him, then you are to observe and take notice of him, because, then, you are to obey him.

Phil. But does not my lady remember you are to love, as well as to obey?

Luc. To love is a passion; 'tis a desire; and we must have no desires. Oh! I cannot endure the reflection! With what insensibility on my part, with what more than patience, have I been exposed and offered to some awkward booby or other in every county of Great Britain!

Phil. Indeed, madam, I wonder I never heard you speak of it before with this indignation.

Luc. I shall soon know as much as you do. Leave me, leave me, Phillis; begone! Here, here, I'll turn you out. My mother says I must not converse with my servants, though I must converse with no one else. [Erit PHILLIS.] HOW unhappy are we who are born to great fortunes! No one looks at us with indifference, or acts towards us on the foot of plain-dealing; yet, by all I have been heretofore offered to, or treated for, I have been used with the most agreeable of all abuses, flattery; but now, by this phlegmatic fool, I am used as nothing, or a mere thing: he, forsooth, is too wise, too learned, to have any regard to desires, and I know not what the learned oaf calls sentiments of love and passion!-Here he comes with my mother-'tis much if he looks at me; or, if he does, takes no more notice of me than of any other moveable in the room.

Enter MRS SEALAND and MR CIMBERTON.

Mrs Sea. How do I admire this noble, this learned taste of yours, and the worthy regard you have to our own ancient and honourable house, in consulting a means to keep the blood as pure and regularly descended as may be !

Cim. Why, really, madam, the young women of this age are treated with discourses of such a tendency, and their imaginations so bewildered in flesh and blood, that a man of reason can't talk to be understood: they have no ideas of happiness but what are more gross than the gratification of hunger and thirst.

Luc. With how much reflection he is a coxcomb! [Aside.

Cim. And in truth, madam, I have considered as a most brutal custom, that persons of the first character in the world should go as ordinarily, and with as little shame, to bed, as to dinner with one another. They proceed to the propa

gation of the species as openly as to the preservation of the individual.

Luc. She that willingly goes to bed to thee must have no shame, I'm sure.

[Aside. Mrs Sea. Oh, cousin Cimberton! cousin Cimberton! how abstracted, how refined is your sense of things! but, indeed, it is too true, there is nothing so ordinary as to say in the best governed families, my master and lady are gone to bed-one does not know but it might have been said of one's self.

[Hiding her face with her fan. Cim. Lycurgus, madam, instituted otherwise : among the Lacedemonians, the whole female world was pregnant, but none but the mothers themselves knew by whom; their meetings were secret, and the amorous congress always by stealth; and no such professed doings between the sexes as are tolerated among us under the audacious word-marriage.

Mrs Sea. Oh! had I lived in those days, and been a matron of Sparta, one might with less indecency have had ten children according to that modest institution, than one under the confusion of our modern barefaced manner.

Luc. And yet, poor woman! she has gone through the whole ceremony; and here I stand a melancholy proof of it. [Aside.

Mrs Sea. We will talk then of business.That girl, walking about the room there, is to be your wife: she has, I confess, no ideas, no sentiments, that speak her born of a thinking nother.

Cim. I have observed her; her lively look, free air, and disengaged countenance, speak her

very

Luc. Very what ?

the man

Luc. Sir! madam, don't you hear him? Cim. Her forward chest!

Luc. Intolerable!

Cim. High health! ·

Luc. The grave, easy, impudence of him! Cim. Proud heart!

Luc. Stupid coxcomb!

Cim. I say, madam, her impatience, while we are looking at her, throws out all attractions— her arms- -her neck-what a spring in her step!

Luc. Don't you run me over thus, you strange, unaccountable

Cim. What an elasticity in her veins and arteries!

Luc. I have no veins, no arteries!

Mrs Sea. Oh, child! hear him; he talks finely; he's a scholar; he knows what you have. Cim. The speaking invitation of her shape, the gathering of herself up, and the indignation you see in the pretty little thing! Now, I am considering her on this occasion but as one that is to be pregnant

Luc. The familiar, learned, unseasonable pup

py! [Aside. Cim. And pregnant undoubtedly she will be yearly: I fear I shan't for many years have discretion enough to give her one fallow season.

Luc. Monster! there's no bearing it. The hideous sot! There's no enduring it, to be thus surveyed like a steed at sale!

Cim. At sale! she's very illiterate; but she's very well limbed, too. Turn her in; I see what she is.

of you.

Mrs Sea. Go, you creature! I am ashamed [Exit LUCINDA in a rage. Cim. No harm done. You know, madam, the better sort of people, as I observed to you, treat by their lawyers of weddings, [Adjusting himself at the glass.] and the woman in the bargain, like the mansion-house in the sale of the estate, is thrown in, and what that is, whether good or bad, is not at all considered.

Mrs Sea. I grant it, and therefore make no demand for her youth and beauty, and every other accomplishment, as the common world think them, because she is not polite.

Cim. I know your exalted understanding, abstracted as it is from vulgar prejudice, will not be offended when I declare to you, madam, I marry to have an heir to my estate, and not to beget a colony or a plantation. This young woman's beauty and constitution will demand provision for a tenth child at least.

Mrs Sea. With all that wit and learning, how considerate! what an economist! [Aside.] Sir, I cannot make her any other than what she is, or say she is much better than the other young women of this age, or fit for much besides being a mother; but I have given directions for the marriage settlements, and sir Geoffry Cimberton's counsel is to meet ours here at this hour concerning his joining in the deed, which, when executed, makes you capable of settling what is due to Lucinda's fortune. Herself, as I told you, I say nothing of.

Cim. No, no, no; indeed, madam, it is not

asual, and I must depend upon my reflection | and philosophy not to overstock my family.

Mrs Sea. I cannot help her, cousin Cimberton; but she is, for aught I see, as well as the daughter of any body else.

Cim. That is very true, madam.

Enter a Servant, who whispers MRS SEALAND. Mrs Sea. The lawyers are come, and now we are to hear what they have resolved as to the point, whether it is necessary that sir Geoffry should join in the settlement, as being what they call in the remainder. But, good cousin, you must have patience with them. These lawyers, I am told, are of a different kind; one is what they call a chamber-counsel, the other a pleader the conveyancer is slow from an imperfection in his speech, and therefore shunned the bar, but extremely passionate, and impatient of contradiction: the other is as warm as he, but has a tongue so voluble, and a head so conceited, he will suffer nobody to speak but himself.

Cim. You mean old serjeant Target and counsellor Bramble: I have heard of them. Mrs Sea. The same: shew in the gentlemen. [Exit Servant. Re-enter Servant, introducing MYRTLE and Toм, disguised as BRAMBLE and TARGET. Gentlemen, this is the party concerned, Mr Cimberton; and I hope you have considered of the

matter.

Tar. Yes, makam, we have agreed that it must be by indent-dent-dent-dent

Bram. Yes, madam, Mr Serjeant and myself have agreed, as he is pleased to inform you, that it must be an indenture tripartite; and tripartite let it be, for sir Geoffry must needs be a party. Old Cimberton, in the year 1619, says, in that ancient roll in Mr Serjeant's hands, as recourse thereto being had will more at large appear

Tar. Yes, and, by the deeds in your hands, it appears, that

Bram. Mr Serjeant, I beg of you to make no inferences upon what is in our custody, but speak to the titles in your own deeds. I shall not shew that deed, till my client is in town.

Cim. You know best your own methods. Mrs Sea. The single question is, Whether the entail is such, that my cousin, sir Geoffry, is necessary in this affair?'

Bram. Yes, as to the lordship of Tretriplet, but not as to the messuage of Grimgribber.

Tar. I say, that Gr-gr-, that Gr--gr-, Grimgribber, Grimgribber is in us; that is to say, the remainder thereof, as well as that of Tr Tr- Triplet.

Bram. You go upon the deed of sir Ralph, made in the middle of the last century, precedent to that in which old Cimberton made over the remainder, and made it pass to the heirs general, by which your client comes in; and I

question whether the remainder even of Tretriplet is in him—but we are willing to wave that, and give him a valuable consideration. But we shall not purchase what is in us for ever, as Grimgribber is, at the rate as we guard against the contingent of Mr Cimberton having no son. Then we know sir Geoffrey is the first of the collateral male line in this family-yet

Tar. Sir, Gr-gr▬ -ber is

Bram. I apprehend you very well, and your argument might be of force, and we would be inclined to hear that in all its parts-but, sir, I see very plainly what you are going into-I tell you it is as probable a contingent, that sir Geoffry may die before Mr Cimberton, as that he may outlive him.

Tar. Sir, we are not ripe for that yet, but I must say

Bram. Sir, I allow you the whole extent of that argument, but that will go no farther than as to the claimants under old Cimberton. I am of opinion, that, according to the instructions of sir Ralph, he could not dock the entail, and then create a new estate for the heirs in general. Tar. Sir, I have no patience to be told, that when Gr-gr-ber

Bram. I will allow it you, Mr Serjeant; but there must be the words, heirs for ever, to make such an estate as you pretend.

Cim. I must be impartial, though you are counsel for my side of the question. Were it not that you are so good as to allow him what he has not said, I should think it very hard you should answer him without hearing him. But, gentlemen, I believe you have both considered this matter, and are firm in your different opinions; 'twere better, therefore, you proceeded according to the particular sense of each of you, and give your thoughts distinctly in writing-And, do you see, sirs, pray let me have a copy of what you say in English.

Bram. Why, what is all we have been saying? In English! Oh! but I forgot myself; you're a wit. But, however, to please you, sir, you shall have it in as plain terms as the law will admit of.

Cim. But I will have it, sir, without delay. Bram. That, sir, the law will not admit of; the courts are sitting at Westminster, and I am this moment obliged to be at every one of them; and 'twould be wrong if I should not be in the hall to attend one of them at least; the rest. would take it ill else :-therefore, I must leave what I have said to Mr Serjeant's consideration, and I will digest his arguments on my part, and you shall hear from me again, sir.

[Exit BRAMBLE.

Tar. Agreed, agreed. Cim. Mr Brainble is very quick-he parted a little abruptly.

Tar. He could not bear my argument; I pinched him to the quick about that Gr-grber.

Mrs Sea. I saw that, for he durst not so much as hear you. I shall send to you, Mr Serjeant, as soon as sir Geoffry comes to town; and then, I hope, all may be adjusted.

Tar. I shall be at my chambers at my usual hours. [Exit TAR. Cim. Madam, if you please, I'll now attend you to the tea-table, where I shall hear from your ladyship reason and good sense, after all this law and gibberish.

Mrs Sea. 'Tis a wonderful thing, sir, that men of their profession do not study to talk the sub

stance of what they have to say in the language of the rest of the world; sure they'd find their account in it.

Cim. They might perhaps, madam, with people of your good sense; but, with the generality, 'twould never do: the vulgar would have no respect for truth and knowledge, if they were exposed to naked view.

Truth is too simple, of all arts bereaved; Since the world will-why let it be deceived. [Exeunt.

Tom. UPON my life, sir, I know nothing of the matter: I never opened my lips to Mr Myrtle about any thing of your letter to madam Lucinda.

Bev. What's the fool in such a fright for? I don't suppose you did: what I would know is, whether Mr Myrtle shewed any suspicion, or asked you any questions, to lead you to say casually that you had carried any such letter for me this morning?

Tom. Why, sir, if he did ask me any questions, how could I help it?

Bev. I don't say you could, oaf! I am not questioning you about him. What did he say to you?

Tom. Why, sir, when I came to his chambers to be dressed for the lawyer's part your honour was pleased to put me upon, he asked me if I had been to Mr Sealand's this morning?- -So I told him, sir, I often went thither because, sir, if I had not said that, he might have thought there was something more in my going now, than at another time.

Bev. Very well. The fellow's caution, I find, has given him this jealousy. [Aside.] Did he ask you no other questions?

Tom. Yes, sir-now I remember, as we came away in the hackney-coach from Mr Sealand's, Tom, says he, as I came in to your master this morning, he bade you go for an answer to a letter he had sent; pray, did you bring him any? says he-Ah! says I, sir, your honour is pleased to joke with me; you have a mind to know whether I can keep a secret or no.

Bev. And so, by shewing him you could, you told him you had one. Tom. Sir

[Confusedly Bev. What mean actions does jealousy make a man stoop to! how poorly has he used art with a servant to make him betray his master! Well, and when did he give you this letter for me?

Tom. Sir, he writ it before he pulled off his lawyer's gown at his own chambers.

6

Bev. Very well; and what did he say when you brought him my answer to it?

Tom. He looked a little out of humour, sir, and said it was very well.

Bev. I knew he would be grave upon'tWait without.

Tom. Hum! 'gad I don't like this: I am afraid we are in the wrong box here [Exit Tom.

Bev. I put on a serenity while my fellow was present, but I have never been more thoroughly disturbed. This hot man, to write me a challenge on supposed artificial dealing, when I professed myself his friend !—I can live contented without glory, but I cannot suffer shame. What's to be done? But first, let me consider Lucinda's letter again. [Reads.

Sir, I hope it is consistent with the laws a woman ought to impose upon herself, to acknowledge, that your manner of declining a treaty of marriage in our family, and desiring the refusal may come from me, has something more engaging in it than the courtship of him, who, I fear, will fall to my lot, except your 'friend exerts himself for our common safety ' and happiness. I have reasons for desiring Mr Myrtle may not know of this letter till hereaf ter, and am your most obliged humble servant, LUCINDA SEALAND.' Well, but the postscript. [Reads. 'I won't, upon second thoughts, hide any thing from you: but my reason for concealing this is, that Mr Myrtle has a jealousy in his temper which gives me some terrors; but my esteem 'for him inclines me to hope that only an ill ef'fect which sometimes accompanies a tender 'love, and what may be cured by a careful and 'unblameable conduct.'

Thus has this lady made me her friend and confidant, and put herself in a kind under my protection. I cannot tell him immediately the purport of this letter, except I could cure him of the violent and untractable passion of jealousy, and serve him and her, by disobeying her in the article of secrecy, more than I should by

science that way, to have as much abhorrence of doing injuries as

Bev. As what?

'CHARLES MYRTLE.'

Enter Toм.

Tom. Mr Myrtle, sir: would your honour please to see him?

Bev. Why, you stupid creature, let Mr Myrtle wait at my lodgings! Shew him up. [Erit Tom.] Well, I am resolved upon my carriage to him he is in love, and, in every circumstance of life, a little distrustful, which I must allow for. But here he is.

Enter Tox, introducing MYRTLE.

Sir, I am extremely obliged to you for this honour- -But, sir, you, with your very discerning face, leave the room. [Exit Tom.] Well, Mr Myrtle, your commands with me?

Myr. The time, the place, our long acquaintance, and many other circumstances which affect me on this occasion, oblige me, without farther ceremony or conference, to desire you would not only, as you already have, acknowledge the receipt of my letter, but also comply with the request in it. I must have farther notice taken of my message than these half lines-I have yours-I shall be at home

Bev. Sir, I own I have received a letter from you in a very unusual style; but, as I design every thing in this matter shall be your own action, your own seeking, I shall understand nothing but what you are pleased to confirm face to face; and I have already forgot the contents of your epistle.

Myr. This cool manner is very agreeable to the abuse you have already made of my simplicity and frankness; and I see your moderation tends to your own advantage, and not mine; to your own safety, not consideration of your friend. Bev. My own safety, Mr Myrtle ! Myr. Your own safety, Mr Bevil.

fend the Author of life, and rushing into his presence. I say, by the very same act, to commit the crime against him, and immediately to urge

Myr. Mr Bevil, I must tell you, this coolness, this gravity, this shew of conscience, shall never cheat me of my mistress. You have, indeed, the best excuse for life, the hopes of possessing Lucinda; but consider, sir, i have as much reason to be weary of it, if I am to lose her; and my first attempt to recover her, shall be to let her see the dauntless man who is to be her guardian and protector.

Bev. Sir, shew me but the least glimpse of argument, that I am authorised, by my own hand, to vindicate any lawless insult of this nature, and I will shew thee, to chastise thee hardly deserves the name of courage. Slight, inconsiderate man! There is, Mr Myrtle, no such terror in quick anger, and you shall, you know not why, be cool, as you have, you know not why, been warm.

Myr. Is the woman one loves so little an occasion of anger? You, perhaps, who know not what it is to love, who have your ready, your commodious, your foreign trinket, for your loose hours, and, from your fortune, your specious outward carriage, and other lucky circumstances, as easy a way to the possession of a woman of honour; you know nothing of what it is to be alarmed, to be distracted, with anxiety and terror of losing more than life. Your marriage, happy man! goes on like common business; and, in the interim, you have your rambling captive, your Indian princess, for your soft moments of dalliance; your convenient, your ready, Indiana.

Bev. You have touched me beyond the patience of a man, and I'm excusable, in the guard of innocence, or from the infirmity of human nature, which can bear no more, to accept your invitation, and observe your letter.—Sir, I'll attend you.

Enter Toм.

Tom. Did you call, sir? I thought you did; I heard you speak loud.

Bev. Yes; go call a coach. Tom. Sir-Master-Mr Myrtle-FriendsGentlemen-what d'ye mean? I'm but a servant, Bev. Call a coach.

[Exit Toм. [A long pause, walking sullenly by each

other.

[Aside.] Shall I, though provoked to the utterinost, recover myself at the entrance of a third

4 L