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sition that has wring my heart, gives me now a pang more keen than I can express !

Enter Maid and LYDIA. Faulk. By Heavens! Julia

Maid. My mistress, madam, I know, was here Julia. Yet hear me – My father loved you, just now; perhaps she is only in the next room. Faulkland, and you preserved the life that ten

[E.rit maid. der parent gave me; in his presence I pledged Lydia. Heigh he ! Though he has used me so, my hand, joyfully pledged it, where before I had this fellow runs strangely in my head. I believe given my heart. When, soon after, I lost that

one lecture from my grave cousin will make ine parent, it seemed to me that Providence had, in recal him. Faulkland, shewn me whither to transfer, without a pause, my grateful duty, as well as my affec

Enter JULIA, tion : hence, I have been content to bear from o, Julia, I am come to you with such an appeyou, what pride and delicacy would have forbid tite for consolation! Lud! Child, what's the ine from another. I will not upbraid you, by matter with you? You have been crying! I'll be repeating how you have trifled with my since hanged, if that Faulkland has not been tormentrity.

ing you ! Faulk. I confess it all! yet hear

Julia. You mistake the cause of my uneasiness! Julia. After such a year of trial, I might have Something has flurried me a little. Nothing that flattered myself that I should not have been in- you can guess at. I would not accuse Faulkland sulted with a new probation of my sincerity, as to a sister!

[Aside. cruel as unnecessary! I now see it is not in your Lydia. Ah! Whatever vexations you may nature to be content, or confident in love. With have, I can assure you mine surpass them. You this conviction, I never will be yours. While I know who Beverley proves to be? had hopes, that my persevering attention, and un * Julia. I will now own to you, Lydia, that Mr reproaching kindness, might, in time, reform your Faulkland had before informed me of the whole temper, I should have been happy to have gained affair. Had young Absolute been the person you a dearer influence over you; but I will not fur- took him for, I should not have accepted your nish you with a licensed power to keep alive an confidence on the subject, without a serious enincorrigible fault, at the expence of one who ne- deavour to counteract your caprice. ver would contend with you.

Lydia. So, then, I see I have been deceived Faulk. Nay, but, Julia, by my soul and ho- by every one! But I don't care; I'll never hare nour, if, after this

him. Julia. But one word more. As my faith has Julia. Nay, Lydiaonce been given to you, I never will barter it

Lydia. Why,' is it not proroking? When I with another. I shall pray for your happiness thought we were coming to the prettiest distress with the truest sincerity; and the dearest blessing imaginable, to find myself made a mere Smith I can ask of Heaven to send you, will be, to field bargain of at last! There, had I projected charm you from that unhappy temper, which one of the most sentimental elopements! So bealone has prevented the performance of our so-coming a disguise! So amiable a ladder of ropes ! lemo engagement. All I request of you is, that Conscious moon--four horses --Scotch parson you will yourself reflect upon this infirmity; and with such surprise to Mrs Malaprop--and such when you number up the many true: delights it paragraphs in the newspapers ! 0, 1 shall die has deprived you of, let it not be your least re with disappointment! gret, that it lost you the love of one who would Julia. I don't wonder at it! have followed you in beggary through the world. Lydia. Now-sad reverse! What have I to

[Erit. expect, but, after a deal of flimsy preparation Faulk. She's gone for ever! There was an with a bishop's licence, and my aunt's blessing, awful resolution in her manner, that rivetted me to go simpering up to the altar; or, perhaps, be to niy place. O fool! dolt! barbarian! Curst cried three times in a country church, and have as I'am, with more imperfections than my fel an unmauerly fat clerk ask the consent of every low-wretches, kind fortune sent a heaven-gifted butcher in the parish to join John Absolute and cherub to my aid, and, like a ruffiau, I have dri- Lydia Languish, spinster! O, that I should live ven her from my side! I must now haste to my to hear myself called spinster! appointinent. Well! my niind is tuned for such Julia. Melancholy, indeed!

I shall wish only to become a principal Lydia. How mortifying, to remember the dear in it, and reverse the tale my cursed folly put me delicious shifts I used to be put to, to gain balf a upon forging here. O Love! tormentor! fiend! minute's conversation with this fellow? How otWhose influence, like the moon's, acting on men ten have I stole forth, in the coldest night in Jaof dull souls, makes idiots of them; but, meeting nuary, and found him in the garden, stuck like a subtler spirits, betrays their course, and urges dripping statue! There would he kneel to me in sensibility to madness!

the snow, and sneeze and cough so pathetically !

[Erit Faulk. He shivering with cold, and I with apprehension !

a scenie.

And, while the freezing blast numbed our joints, David. Look'ee, my lady_by the mass, how warmiy would he press me to pity his fame, there's mischief going on! Folks don't use to and glow with mutual ardour! Ah, Julia, that meet fur amusement with fire-arms, fire-locks, was something like being in love!

fire-engines, fire-screens, fire-office, and the devil Julia. If I were in spirits, Lydia, I should chide knows what other crackers beside! This, my layou only by laughing heartily at you; but it suits dy, I say, has an angry favour. more the situation of my mind, at present, ear Julia. But who is there beside captain Absonestly to entreat you, not to let a man, who lute, friend? loves you with sincerity, suffer that unhappiness David. My poor master-under favour for from your caprice, which I know too well caprice mentioning him tirst. You know me, my ladycan inflict.

I am David--and my master of course is, or was, Lydiu. O lud! What has brought my aunt | 'squire Acres. Then comes 'squire. Faulkland, here?

Julia. Do, madam; let us instantly endeavour Enter Mrs MALAPROP, Fag, and David.

to prevent mischief !

Mrs Mul. O fie! it would be very inelegant Mrs Mal. So, so ! here's fine work! Here's | in us: we should only participate things. fine suicide, parricide, and simulation going on in David. Ah! Do, Mrs Aunt, save a few lives; the fields! And sir Anthony not to be found to they are desperately given, believe me. Above prevent the antistrophe !

all, there is that blood-thirsty Philistine, sir LuJulia. For Heaven's sake, madam, what's the cius O’Trigger. meaning of this ?

Mrs Mal. Sir Lucius O'Trigger! O mercy ! Mrs Mal. That gentleman can tell you: 'twas Have they drawn poor little dear sir Lucius into he enveloped the affair.

the scrape? Why, how you stand, girl! You have Lydia. Do, sir; will you inform us?

no more feeling than one of the Derbyshire pu

(To Fag. trifactions ! Fag. Madam, I should hold myself very defi Lydia. What are we to do, madam? cient in every requisite that forms the man of Mrs Mah. Why, fly with the utmost felicity, to breeding, if I delayed a moment to give all the be sure, to prevent mischief! Here, friend--you information in my power to a lady so deeply in- can shew us the place ? terested in the affair as you are.

Fag. If you please, madam, I will conduct Lydia. But quick! Quick, sir!

you. David, do you look for sir Anthony. Fag. True, madain, as you say, one should be

[Erit David. quick in divulging matters of this nature; for Mrs Mal. Come, girls; this gentleman will shoold we be tedious, perhaps, while we are flou- exhort us. Come, sir, you're our envoy; lead rishing on the subject, two or three lives may be the way, and we'll precede. lost!

Fag: Not a step before the ladies, for the Lydia. O patience! Do, madam, for Heaven's world! sake, tell us what's the matter?

Mrs Mal. You're sure you know the spot ? Mrs Mal. Why, murder's the matter! Slaugh Fag. I think I can find it, madam; and one ter's the inatter ! Killing's the matter! But he good thing is, we shall hear the report of the piscan tell you the perpendiculars.

tols, as we draw near, so we can't well miss them; Lydia. Then, prithee, sir, be brief.

never fear, madam, never fear. Fug. Why, then, madam, as to murder, I can

[Erit, he talking not take upon me to say; and as to slaughter, or manslaughter, that will be as the jury finds it.

SCENE II.-South Parade. Lydia. But who, sir—who are engaged in this

Enter ABSOLUTE, putting his sword under his Fag. Faith, madam, one is a young gentleman

great coat. whom I should be very sorry any thing was to Abs. A sword seen in the streets of Bath would happen to-a very pretty-behaved gentleman! raise as great an alarm as a mad dog. How proWe have lived much together, and always on voking this is in Faulkland ! Never punctual! I terms.

shall be obliged to go without him at last. O, the Lydia. But who is this? Who, who, who ! devil! Here's sir Anthony! How shall I escape Fag. My master, madam-my master-I speak him! of my master.

[Muffles up his face, and takes a circle to go Lydia. Heavens! What, captain Absolute ? off.

Mrs Mal. O, to be sure, you are frightened now !

Enter SIR ANTHONY. Julia. But who are with him, sir?

Sir Anth. How one may be deceived at a little Fog. As to the rest, madam, this gentleman distance ! Only that I see he don't know me, I can inform you better than I.

could have sworn that was Jack! Hey! Gad's Juliu. Do speak, friend. (To David. life! It is. Why, Jack, what are you afraid of} l'ou. II.


Hey! Sure I'm right. Why, Jack-Jack Abso- | refuses to forgive me, to sheath this sword—and lute !

(Goes up to him. swear, I'll fall upon its point, and expire at her Abs. Really, sir, you have the advantage of teet! me: I don't remember ever to have had the ho Sir Anth. Fall upon a fiddle-stick's end! Why, nour--my name is Saunderson, at your service. I

suppose it is the very thing that would please Sir Anth. Sir, I beg your pardon-- I took you her-Get along, you fool! ---Hey? Why, zounds! It is--Stay

Abs. Well, sir, you shall bear of my success[Looks up to his face. you shall hear. -0, Lydia! forgive me, or thuis So, so ! your humble servant, Mr Saunderson ! pointed steel, says I ! Why, you scoundrel, whac tricks are you after Sir Anth. O, booby! stab away, and welcome, now?

says she-Get along! and damn your trinkets! Abs. 0! A joke, sir, a joke! I came here on

[Èrit ABSOLUTE. purpose to look for you, sir. Sir Anth. You did ! Well, I am glad you were

Enter David, running. so lucky; but what are you muffled up so for? David. Stop him! Stop him! Murder! Thief! What's this for? Hey?

Fire! Stop fire! stop fire !-0, sir Anthony !Abs. 'Tis cool, sir; isn't it? Rather chilly, call, call ! Bid him stop! Murder ! Fire! somehow : but I shall be late.--I have a particu Sir Anth. Fire! Murder! where? Jar engagement.

David. Oons ! he's out of sight! and I'm out Sir Anth. Stay. Why, I thought you were of breath, for my part! 0, sir Anthony, why looking for me? Pray, Jack, where is't you are didn't you stop bim? why didn't you stop bim? going?

Sir Anth. Zounds! the fellow's mad! Stop Abs. Going, sir !

whom? stop Jack ? Sir Anth. Ay; where are you going?

David. Ay, the captain, sir!-there's murder Abs. Where am I going?

and slaughter! Sir Anth. You unmannerly puppy!

Sir Anth. Murder ! Abs. I was going, sir, to-to-to-to Lydia David. Ay, please you, sir Anthony, there's sir, to Lydia-to make matters up, if I could; all kinds of murder, all sorts of slaughter, to be and I was looking for you, sir, to-to

seen in the fields! There's fighting golog on, sir Sir Anth. To go with you, I suppose? Well, -bloody sword and gun fighting! come along.

Sir Anth. Who are going to fight, dunce? Abs. 0, zounds! no, sir, not for the world! I David. Every body that I know of, sir Anwished to meet with you, sir, to—10—10—You thony! every body is going to fight my poor masfind it cool, I'm sure, sir-you'd better not stay ter; sir Lucius O'Trigger, your son, the captain!

Sir Anth. O, the dog! I see his tricks, Do Sir Anth. Cool! not at all. Well, Jack, and you know the place? what will you say to Lydia ?

David. King's Mead-fields. Abs. 0, sir, beg her pardon, humour her; pro

Sir Anth. You know the way? mise and vow But I detain

you, sir--consider David. Not an inch; but I'll call the mayor, the cold air on your gout!

aldermen, constables, church-wardens, and beaSir Anth. O, not at all, not at all—I'm in no dles---we can't be too many to part them! hurry. Ah! Jack, you youngsters, when once Sir Anth. Come along; give me your shoulyou are wounded here! (Putting his hand to der-we'll get assistance as we go—The lying vilABSOLUTE's breust.] Hey! what the deuce have lain! Well, I shall be in such a frenzy Kso,

this was the history of his trinkets! I'll bauble Abs. Nothing, sir, nothing!

him !

[Excurt. Sir Anth. What's this? -here's something damned hard !

SCENE III.-King's Mead-fields.
Abs. 0, trinkets, sir, trinkets ! a bauble for

Sir Lucius and Acres, with pistols. Sir Anth. Nay; let me see your taste. [Pulls Acres. By my valour, then, sir Lucius, forty his coat open, the sacord falls.] Trinkets! a bauble yards is a good distance !-Odds levels and aims! for Lydia !--Zounds, sirrah, you are not going to I say it is a good distance. cut her throat, are you?

Sir Luc. Is it for muskets or small field-pieces? Abs. Ha, ha, ha! I thought it would divert you, Upon my conscience, Mr Acres, you must leave sir, though I did not mean to tell you till after- those things to me. Stay now, I'll show you: wards.

[ Measures paces along the stage.] There, now, Sir Anth. You did not ?-Yes, this is a very that is a very pretty distance-a pretty gentle diverting trinket, truly!

inan's distance. Abs. Sir, I'll explain to you. You know, sir, Acres. Zounds! we might as well fight in a Lydia is romantic-devilish romantic, and very sentry-box! I tell you, sir Lucius, the farther he absurd, of course :-now, sir, I intend, if she is off, the cooler I shall take my aim.


you got here?

Sir Luc. Faith! then I suppose you would aim | be shot in an aukward posture as a genteel one at hin best of all, if he was out of sight! -So, by my valour! I will stand edge-ways.

Acres. No, sir Lucius : but I should think for Sir Luc. [Looking at his watch.] Sure they ty, or eight-and-thirty yards

don't mean to disappoint us Hahno faithSir Luc. Pho, pho! nonsense! three or four I think I see them coming. feet between the mouths of your pistols is as Acres. Hey !-what!--coming! good as a mile !

Sir Luc. Xy-Who are those yonder getting Acres. Odds bullets, no! By my valour, there over the stile is no merit in killing him so near! do, my dear Acres. There are two of them, indeed !sir Lucius, let me bring him down at a long shot well, let them come—hey, sir Lucius ?-we-we -a long shot, sir Lucius, if you love me!

-we--we-won't run. Sir Luc. Well; the gentleman's friend and I Sir Luc. Run! must settle that. But tell me, now, Mr Acres, Acres. No–I say—we won't run, by my rain case of an accident, is there any little will or lour! commission I could execute for you?

Sir Luc. What the devil's the matter with you? Acres. I am much obliged to you, sir Lucius ; Acres. Nothing—nothing-my dear friendbut I don't understand

my dear sir Lucius—but I-I-I don't feel quite so Sir Luc. Why, you may think there's no being bold, somehow-as I did. shot at without a little risk; and, if an unlucky Sir Luc. O fic! consider your honour. bullet should carry a quietus with it-I say, it Acres. Ay-true-my honour !-Do, sir Luwill be no time then to be bothering you about cius, edge in a word or two, every now and then, family matters.

about my honour. Acres. A quietus !

Sir Lúc. Well, here they're coming. [ Looking: Sir Luc. For instance, now v- if that should be Acres. Sir Lucius—if I was not with you, I the case, would you choose to he pickled and sent should almost think I was afraid-if my valour home? or would it be the same to you to lie should leave me!-Valour will come and

go. here in the abbey ?- I'm told there is very snug Sir Luc. Then, pray keep it fast, while you lying in the abbey:

have it. Acres. Pickled !-Snug lying in the Abbey ! - Acres. Sir Lucius, I doubt it is going-yesOdds tremors ! sir Lucius, don't talk so! my valour is certainly going !--it is sneaking off!

Sir Lue. I suppose, Mr Acres, you never were I feel it oozing out, as it were, at the palms of engaged in an atfair of this kind before? Acres. No, sir Lucius, never before.

Sir Luc. Your honour~-your honour !—Here Sir Luc. Ah, that's a pity! there's nothing they are ! like being used to a thing. Pray, now, how Acres. O mercy!

-now that I was safe at would you receive the gentleman's shot?

Clod-Hall ! or could be shot before I was aware! Acres. Odds files ! I've practised that—There,

Enter FAULKLAND and ABSOLUTE. sir Lucius, there (Puts himself in an attitude.] -a side front, hey ? -Odd ! I'll make myself Sir Luc. Gentlemen, your most obedient. small enough-I'll stand edge-ways.

Ha! what, captain Absolute !---So, I suppose, Sir Luc. Now, you're quite out; for if you sir, you are come here just like myself--to do a stand so when I take my aim—[Levelling at kim.] kind oflice, first for your friend, then to proceed

Acres. Zounds! sir Lucius--are you sure it is to business on your own account? not cocked?

Acres. What, Jack !--my dear Jack!--my dear Sir Luc. Never fear.

friend! Acres. But-but-you don't know-it may go Abs. Heark'e, Bob, Beverley's at hand. off of its own head !

Sir Luc. Well, Mr Acres, I don't blame your Sir Luc. Pho! be easy_Well, now, if I hit saluting the gentleman civilly:-So, Mr Beverley, you in the body, my bullet has a double chance (To Faulkland.) if you'll choose weapons, the —for if it misses a vital part of your right side, captain and I will measure the ground. 'twill be very hard if it don't succeed on the left! Faulk. My weapons, sir ! Acres. A vital part !

Aires. Odds life! sir Lucius, I'm not going to Sir Luc. But, there-fix yourself so--[Placing fight Mr Faulkland These are my particular kim.] let him see the broad-side of your full

friends, front-there-now, a ball or two may pass clean Sir Luc. What, sir, did not you come nere to through your body, and never do any harm at fight Mr Acres ? all!

Faulk. Not I, upon my word, sir ! Acres. Clean through me!-a ball or two clean Sir Luc. Well, now, that's mighty provoking ! through me!

But I hope, Mr Faulk land, as there are three of Sir Luc. Ay may they—and it is much the us come on purpose for the game, you won't be genteelest attitude into the bargain.

so cantanckerous as to spoil the party by sitting Acres. Look'e ! sir Lucius I'd just as lieve out?

my hands!


Abs. O pray, Faulkland, fight to oblige sir Lu- , will resign the lady, without forcing you to procius.

ceed against him? Faulk. Nay, if Mr Acres is so bent on the Abs. Come on, then, sir (Draws.]; since you

won't let it be an amicable suit, here's my reply ! Acres. No, no, Mr Faulkland—I'll bear my disappointment like a Christian. Look'e, sir Lu Enter Sir ANTHONY, David, and the l'omen. cius, there's no occasion at all for me to fight; David. Knock thein all down, sweet sir Anand, if it is the same to you, I'd as lieve let it thony-knock down my master in particular and alone.

bind his hands over to their good behaviour ! Sir Luc. Observe me, Mr Acres, I must not be Sir Anth. Put up, Jack, put up, or I shall be trifled with. You have certainly challenged some in a phrenzy---How came you in a duel, sir? body-and you came here to fight him-Now, if Abs. Faith, sir, that gentleman can tell you that gentleman is willing to represent him, I can't better than I! 'twas he called on me; and, you see, for my soul, why it is not just the same know, sir, I serve his majesty. thing

Sir Anth. Here's a pretty fellow ! I catch him Acres. Why, no—sir Lucius- tell you 'tis going to cut a man's throat, and he tells me, he one Beverley I've challenged—a fellow, you sec, serves his inajesty !-Zounds! sirrah, then how that dare not show his face! If he were bere, durst you draw the king's sword against one of I'd make him give up his pretensions directly! his subjects ?

Abs. Hold, Bob- let me set you right.— There Abs. Sir, I tell you! That gentleman called is no such man as Beverley in the case. The me out, without explaining his reasons. person who assumed that name is before you ; Sir Anth. Gad, Sir! bow came you to call and, as his pretensions are the same in both cha- my son out, without explaining your reasons? racters, he is ready to support them in whatever Sir Luc. Your son, sir, insulied me in a manway you please.

ner which my honour could not brook. Šiř Luc. Well, this is lucky.--Now you

have Sir Anth. Zounds ! Jack, how durst you insult an opportunity

the gentleman in a manner which his honour Acres. What! quarrel with my dear friend could not brook? Jack Absolute--not if he were fifty Beverley's ! Mrs Mal. Come, come, let's have no honour Zounds! sir Lucius, you would not have me so before ladies ; Captain Absolute, come hereunnatural.

How could you intimidate us so ? Here's Lydia Sir Luc. Upon my conscience, Mr Acres, you has been terrified to death for you. valour has oozed away with a vengeance !

Abs. For fear I should be killed, or escape, Acres. Not in the least ! Odds backs and abet- madamn? tors! I'll be your second with all my heart--and, Mrs Mal. Nay, no delusions to the past if you should get a quietus, you may command Lydia is convinced; speak, child. me entirely. I'll get you snug lying in the abbey Sir Luc. With your leave, madam, I must put here; or pickle you, and send you over to Blun- in a word here; I believe I could interpret the derbuss-hall

, or any thing of the kind, with the young lady's silence-Now markgreatest pleasure.

Lydia. What is it you mean, sir? Sir Luc. Pho, pho! you are little better than Sir Luc. Come, come, Delia, we must be seria coward.

ous now; this is no time for trifling. Acres. Mind, gentlemen, he calls me a coward! Lydia. 'Tis true, sir; and your reproof bids Coward was the word, by my valour!

me offer this gentleman my hand, and solicit the Sir Luc. Well, sir?

return of his affections. Acres. Look'e, sir Lucius, 'is not that I mind Abs. O ! my little angel, say you so !-Sir the word coward--coward may be said in joke - Lucius, I perceive there must be some mistake But if you had called me a poltroon, odds dag- here with regard to the affront which you gers and balls

affirm I have given you. I can only say, that it Sir Luc. Well, sir?

could not have been intentional. —And as you Acres. I should have thought you a very ill- must be convinced, that I should not fear to supbred man.

port a real injury—you shall now see that I am Sir Luc. Pho!



notice. not ashamed to atone for an inadvertency– I ask Abs. Nay, sir Lucius, you can't have a better your pardon.—But for this lady, while honoured second than my frievd Acres---He is a most de with her approbation, I will support my claim termined dog---called in the country, Fighting against any man whatever. Bob.---He generally kills a man a week! Don't Sir Anth. Well said, Jack, and I'll stand by

you, my boy! Acres. Ay; at home!

Acrés. Mind, I give up all claim-I make Sr Luc. Well, then, captain, 'tis we must be- no pretensions to any thing in the world—and if

--so come out, my little counsellor [Draws I can't get a wife, without fighting for her, by my his sword.], and ask the gentleman, whether he valour, I'll live a bachelor,

you are

you, Bob?



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