Windsor:

KNIGHT AND DREDGE, CASTLE-STREET;

AND JOHN WARREN, OLD BOND-STREET, LONDON.

SOLD ALSO BY MR. WILLIAMS, AND MR. INGALTON, ETON; MESSRS. DEIGHTON AND

SON, CAMBRIDGE; AND MESSRS. MUNDAY AND SLATTER, OXFORD.

THE

ETONIAN.

N°. VI.

The King of Clubs.

SCENE-THE CLUB-ROOM.

THE PRESIDENT PROLOGUIZES FROM THE CHAIR.

I LOVE Variety; no Book

From me obtains a second look,
In which I vainly seek to find
This Salt, this Pepper of the mind:
And ought that savours of precision,
Of sameness, or of repetition,
With more than Editorial hate
I scorn, detest, abominate.
Ergo, whereas the Reader knows
That Volume I. began in prose;
I think I'll change my note this time-
And-Volume II. begins in rhyme.
My friends-I vote him Prosy quite,
Who speaks one word of Prose to-night.

Sterling.
Courtenay.

(Members testify astonishment. O'Connor opens his mouth wide-Musgrave shuts his close-Lozell nods with assent-Burton with drowsiness.-Oakley takes out his tablets, and appears to be working hard.)

Montgomery. "I love to hear a clever rhymer rhyming

Golightly.

Golightly.

Montgomery. "Good Poetry's the noblest thing on Earth!"
"Bad is a strong Provocative to mirth;
And, when a fool is sentimentalizing,"
"Order! the worthy President is rising.".
"My friends! I need not dwell upon
The vast success of Volume I;
Suffice it, that its tout ensemble
Has made our worst revilers tremble;
That Censure owns at last she's wrong,
And Scandal almost holds her tongue.

In learned measure, eloquent and strong!"

"I love to hear a faulty timer timing

His horrid cadence, dissonant and wrong!"

O'Connor.

Chorus.
O'Connor.

Swinburne.

Oakley.

Nesbit.

Chorus.
Courtenay.

Rowley.

Howbeit, midst our wreath of bays,
There sprout some

BRAMBLES OF DISPRAISE;

6

Which, when the precious leaves we snatch,
Inflict a most delightful scratch;
Too soft to make us cry about it-
And-we might go to sleep without it.
Here is a Senex,' cold and grave,
Quite puzzled by the Knight and Knave;
And thinking that it's all a flam'
About our Publisher and Pam.
Then here's a little note from Jessy,'
Who can't abide that Sober Essay!

·

6

"

A Fourth-form' thinks 'tis best by far
To stick to the vernacular;
Our Muse goes limping on a patten,
Whene'er she's running after Latin.
'Amicus' is in monstrous pique
Because he isn't up to Greek.'"
"As Gerard said, the other day,

Och! sure it's very clear, oh!
Non intelligibilia

Sed intellectum fero."

"Order! order! a Bull, a Bull!"

"I'd knock you down, but my mouth is full"
σε Μηνιν αειδέ

"I differ." 22.

66

"Some beer."
"Silence! hark to the Chairman!"-( Hear ! ) *
My head feels a sort of a dizziness,
I've written and spoke till it aches;
So before we proceed to our business,—
We'll finish this dish of

BEEF STEAKS.

"I love a steak!-proudly it sweeps along;
Whether the kitchen broileth it or frieth,
And Punsters tell that oftentimes it crieth,
"Chaucer, oh! Chaucer!'-He was Lord of song
In Britain! Wrapt in doublet and in rhyme,

He walk'd the dear Metropolis, and tasted

Of meats multigenous, bak'd, broil'd, and basted;
The pride of Taverns in that ancient time.
I wish that I could rhyme like him of old,

I wish that I could eat the food he eat;-.
But stop, Thalia, for you want a whet;
The reader's tir'd-the steaks are getting cold
Stop! for my own, and for the reader's, sake;
But oh! I'm very partial to a steak!”

+22967

* “ Silence! Mark to the signal!—fire.”—B▼RON.