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career in the loftiest apartment of a muffin maker in Dick. ' I send my carrot.'-Carrot! Milk-alley. Little did I think-good easy man'- Pang. He! he! he! Chariot his lordship means. Shakspeare-Hem !-of the riches and literary dig. Dick. With Dr Pangloss in it.' nities which now

Pang. That's me.

Dick. “Respect him, for he's an LL.D., and, moreEnter Dick DowLAS. over, an A. double S.''

[They box. My pupil !

Pa His lordship kindly condescended to insert Dick. [Speaking while entering.] Well, where is the that at my request. man that wants-oh! you are he I suppose

Dick. And I have made him your tutorer, to mend Pang. I am the man, young gentleman! 'Homo your cakelology. sum.'-Terence - Hem! Sir, the person who now Pang. Cacology; from Kakos, ‘malus,' and Loga, presumes to address you is Peter Pangloss; to whose verbum.'-Vide Lexicon-Hem ! name, in the college of Aberdeen, is subjoined LL.D. Dick. “Come with the doctor to my house in Hanover signifying Doctor of Laws; to which has been recently Square.'-Hanover Square !—I remain your affecadded the distinction of A. double S.; the Roman ini- tionate father, to command.-DUBERLY.' tials for a Fellow of the Society of Arts.

Pang. That's his lordship’s title. Dick. Sir, I am your most obedient, Richard Dow. Dick. It is? las; to whose name, in his tailor's bill, is subjoined Pang. It is. D. R., signifying Debtor; to which are added L.S.D.; Dick. Say sir to a lord's son. You have no more the Roman initials for pounds, shillings, and pence. manners than a bear!

Pang. Ha! this youth was doubtless designed by Pang. Bear !-under favour, young gentleman, I destiny to move in the circles of fashion ; for he's dipt am the bear-leader; being appointed your tutor. in debt, and makes a merit of telling it. [A side. Dick. And what can you teach me?

Dick. But what are your commands with me, doctor ? Pang. Prudence. Don't forget yourself in sudden

Pang. I have the honour, young gentleman, of success. • Tecum habita.'-Persius-Hem! being deputed an ambassador to you from your father. Dick. Prudence to a nobleman's son with fifteen

Dick. Then you have the honour to be ambassador thousand a-year! of as good-natured an old fellow as ever sold a Pang. Don't give way to your passions. ha’porth of cheese in a chandler's shop.

Dick. Give way! Zounds!—I'm wild-mad! YoQ Pang. Pardon me, if, on the subject of your father's teach me !-Pooh!—I have been in London before, cheese, I advise you to be as mute as a mouse in one and know it requires no teaching to be a modem fine - for the future. "Twere better to keep that ‘altâ mente gentleman. Why, it all lies in a nutshell-sport a repostum. - Virgil-Hem !

curricle-walk Bond Street-play at Faro-get drunk Dick. Why, what's the matter ? Any misfortune? -dance reels-go to the opera-cut off your tail- Broke, I fear!

pull on your pantaloons—and there's a buck of the Pang. No, not broke; but his name, as 'tis cus- first fashion in town for you. D’ye think I don't tomary in these cases, has appeared in the Gazette. know what's going ?

Dick. Not broke, but gazetted! Why, zounds and Pang. Mercy on me! I shall have a very refracthe devil !

tory pupil! Pang. Check your passions – learn philosophy. Dick. Not at all. We'll be hand and glove to When the wife of the great Socrates threw a-hum! gether, my little doctor. I'll drive you down to all -threw a teapot at his erudite head, he was as cool the races, with my little terrier between your legs, in as a cucumber. When Plato

a tandem. Dick. Damn Plato! What of my father ?

Pang. Doctor Pangloss, the philosopher, with a Pang. Don't damn Plato. The bees swarmed round terrier between his legs, in a tandem! his mellifluous mouth soon as he was swaddled. Dick. I'll tell you what, doctor. I'll make you my * Cum in cunis apes in labellis consedissent.'-Cicero long-stop at cricket--you shall draw corks when I'm -Hem !

president-laugh at my jokes before company-squeeze Dick. I wish you had a swarm round yours, with lemons for punch-cast up the reckoning-and wo all my heart. Come to the point.

betide you if you don't keep sober enough to see me Pang. In due time. But calm your choler. 'Ira safe home after a jollification ! furor brevis est.'-Horace-Hem! Read this.

Pang. Make me a long-stop, and a squeezer of

[Gives a letter. lemons! Zounds ! this is more fatiguing than walking Dick. [Snatches the letter, breaks it open, and reads.] out with the lap-dogs! And are these the quali* Dear Dick—This comes to inform you I am in a fications for a tutor, young gentleman ? perfect state of health, hoping you are the same'- Dick. To be sure they are. 'Tis the way that half ay, that's the old beginning - It was my lot, last the prig parsons, who educate us honourables, jump week, to be made'-ay, a bankrupt, I suppose ?--' to be into fat livings. made a'—what to be made a P, E, A, R;- -a pear! Pang. 'Tis well they jump into something fat at -to be made a pear! What the devil does he mean last, for they must wear all the flesh off their bones by that?

Pang. A peer !-a peer of the realm. His lordship’s Dick. Come now, tutor, go you and call the waiter. orthography is a little loose, but several of his equals Pang. Go and call! Sir-sir! I'd have you to countenance the custom. Lord Loggerhead always understand, Mr Dowlas— spells physician with an F.

Dick. Ay, let us understand one another, doctor. Dick. A peer!—what, my father ?- I'm electrified ! My father, 1 take it, comes down handsomely to you Old Daniel Dowlas made a peer! But let me see ; for your management of me? [Reads on.]—“A pear of the realm. Lawyer Ferret Pang. My lord has been liberal. got me my tittle’-titt-oh, title !- and an estate Dick. But 'tis I must manage you, doctor. Acof fifteen thousand per ann.-by making me out next knowledge this, and, between ourselves, I'll find of kin to old Lord Duberly, because he died without means to double your pay. -without hair' -'Tis an odd reason, by the by, to be Pang. Double mynext of kin to a nobleman because he died bald. Dick. Do you hesitate? Why, man, you have

Pang. His lordship means heir-heir to his estate. set up for a modern tutor without knowing your We shall meliorate his style speedily. "Reform it trade! altogether.'—Shakspeare-Hem!

1 Pang. Double my pay! Say no more-done. Ac

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your hand.

tum est. —Terence - Hem. Waiter! [Bawling.] Gad, tidings, Dick. I-I should be loath to think our I've reached the right reading at last!

kindness was a cooling.
"I've often wished that I had, clear,

Dick. Oh no. Rely on my protection.
For life, six hundred pounds a-year.'

Zek. Why, lookye, Dick Dowlas ; as to protection,

and all that, we ha' been old friends; and if I should Swift-Hem. Waiter!

need it from you, it be no more nor my right to exDick. That's right; tell him to pop my clothes and pect it, and your business to give it me: but Cicely linen into the carriage; they are in that bundle. ha' gotten a place, and I ha' hands and health to get

a livelihood. Fortune, good or bad, tries the man, Enter WAITER.

they do say; and if I should hap to be made a lord Pang. Waiter! Here, put all the Honourable Mr tomorrow (as who can say what may betide, since Dowlas's clothes and linen into his father's, Lord they ha' made one out of an old chandler) Duberly's, chariot.

Dick. Well, sir, and what then? Waiter. Where are they all, sir ?

Zek. Why, then, the finest feather in my lordship's Pang. All wrapt up in the Honourable Mr Dow cap would be, to show that there would be as much las's pocket handkerchief. [Exit waiter with bundle. shame in slighting an old friend because he be poor,

Dick. See 'em safe in, doctor, and I'll be with you as there be pleasure in owning him when it be in our directly.

power to do him service. Pang. I go, most worthy pupil. Six hundred pounds Dick. You mistake me, Zekiel. 1-1-s’death! a-year? However deficient in the classics, his know I'm quite confounded! I'm trying to be as fashionledge of arithmetic is admirable !

able here as my neighbours, but nature comes in, and • I've often wished that I had, clear,

knocks it all on the head. (A side.) Zekiel, give me For life Dick. Nay, nay, don't be so slow.

Zek. Then there be a hearty Castleton slap for you. Pang. Swift-Hem. I'm gone.

[Exit. The grasp of an honest man can't disgrace the hand Dick. What am I to do with Zekiel and Cis? of a duke, Dick. When a poor man has grown great, his old acquain

Dick. You're a kind soul, Zekiel. I regard you tance generally begin to be troublesome.

sincerely; I love Cicely, and-hang it, I'm going Enter ZEKIEL.

too far now for a lord's son. Pride and old friendship

are now fighting in me till I'm almost bewildered. Zek. Well, I han't been long.

[Aside). You shall hear from me in a few hours. Dick. No, you are come time enough, in all con- Good-by, Zekiel ; good-by.

[Exit. science.

[Coolly. Zek. I don't know what ails me, but I be almost Zek. Cicely ha' gotten the place. I be e'en almost ready to cry. Dick be a high-mettled youth, and this stark wild wi' joy. Such a good-natured young news ha' put him a little beside himself. I should madam! Why, you don't seem pleased, man ; sure, make a bit of allowance. His heart, I do think, be and sure, you be glad of our good fortune, Dick? in the right road; and when that be the case, he be a

Dick. Dick! Why, what do you—oh! but he hard judge that wont pardon an old friend's spirits doesn't know yet that I am a lord's son. I rejoice to when they do carry him a little way out on't. (Exit. hear of your success, friend Zekiel. Zek. Why, now, that's hearty. But, eh! Why,

[Prom. The Poor Gentleman.') you look mortal heavy and lumpish, Dick. No bad Sir Charles CroPLAND at breakfast; his Valet de Chambre tidings since we ha' been out, I hope ?

adjusting his hair. Dick. Oh no. Zek. Eh? Let's ha' a squint at you. Od rabbit it, that I arrived last night!

Sir Cha. Has old Warner, the steward, been told but summut have happened. You have seen your father, and things ha' gone crossish. Who have been this morning

Valet. Yes, Sir Charles; with orders to attend you here, Dick? Dick. Only a gentleman, who had the honour of of fashion do with himself in the country at this

Sir Cha. (Yawning and stretching.) What can a man being deputed ambassador from my father. Zek. What a dickens--an ambassador! Pish, now

wretchedly dull time of the year!

Valet. It is very pleasant to-day out in the park, you be a queering a body. An ambassador sent from

Sir Charles, an old chandler to Dick Dowlas, Lawyer Latitat's clerk! Come, that be a good one, fegs !

Sir Cha. Pleasant, you booby! How can the counDick. Dick Dowlas! and lawyer's clerk! Sir, the try be pleasant in the middle of spring? All the

world's in London. gentleman came to inform me that my father, by being proved next of kin to the late lord, is now Lord Charles, when the corn is coming up.

Valet. I think, somehow, it looks so lively, Sir Duberly; by which means I am now the Honourable Mr Dowlas.

Sir Cha. Blockhead! Vegetation makes the face Zek. Ods flesh ! gi'e us your fist, Dick! I ne'er of a country look frightful. It spoils hunting. Yet shook the fist of an honourable afore in all my born

as my business on my estate here is to raise supplies days. Old Daniel made a lord! I be main glad to

for my pleasures elsewhere, my journey is a wise one. hear it. This be news indeed. But, Dick, I hope he

What day of the month was it yesterday, when I left

town on this wise expedition ? ha' gotten some ready along wi' his title ; for a lord without money be but a foolish wishy-washy kind of

Valet. The first of April, Sir Charles.

Sir Cha. Umph! When Mr Warner comes, show a thing a'ter all.

him in. Dick. My father's estate is fifteen thousand a-year.

Valet. I shall, Sir Charles.

[E.cit. Zek. Mercy on us !-you ha' ta'en away my breath! Dick. Well, Zekiel, Čis and you shall hear from me ground has its merits. Trees are notes, issued from

Sir Cha. This same lumbering timber upon my

the bank of nature, and as current as those payable Zek. Why, you ben't a going, Dick? Dick. I must pay my duty to his lordship; his vaks, for I want cash consumedly. So, Mr Warner !

to Abraham Newland. I must get change for a few chariot waits for me below. We have been some time acquainted, Zekiel, and you may depend upon

Enter WARNER. my good offices.

Warner. Your honour is right welcome into Kent. Zek. You do seem a little flustrated with these I am proud to see Sir Charles Cropland on his estate



again. I hope you mean to stay on the spot for some of delight, love and campaigning! Hope you come time, Sir Charles ?

to sojourn, Sir Charles. Shouldn't be always on the Sir Cha. A very tedious time. Three days, Mr wing--that's being too flighty. He, he, he! Do you Warner.

take, good sir-do you take ? Warner. Ah, good sir! things would prosper better Sir Cha. Oh yes, I take. But, by the cockade in if you honoured us with your presence a little more your hat, Ollapod, you have added lately, it seems, to I wish you lived entirely upou the estate, Sir your avocations. Charles.

Olla. He! he ! yes, Sir Charles. I have now the Sir Cha. Thank you, Warner ; but modern men of honour to be cornet in the Volunteer Association fashion find it difficult to live upon their estates. corps of our town. It fell out unexpected-pop, on a

Warner. The country about you so charming! sudden; like the going off of a field-piece, or an alder

Sir Cha. Look ye, Warner-I must hunt in Leices- man in an apoplexy. tershire—for that's the thing. In the frosts and the

Sir Cha. Explain. spring months, I must be in town at the clubs—for Olla. Happening to be at home-rainy day—DO that's the thing. In summer I must be at the water- going out to sport, blister, shoot, nor bleed-Fas busy ing places—for that's the thing. Now, Warner, un behind the counter. You know my shop, Sir Charles der these circumstances, how is it possible for me -Galen's head over the door-new gilt him last week, to reside upon my estate? For my estate being in by the by-looks as fresh as a pill. Kent

Sir Cha. Well, no more on that head now. ProWarner. The most beautiful part of the county. ceed.

Sir Cha. Psha, beauty! we don't mind that in Olla. On that head! he, he, he! That's very wellLeicestershire. My estate, I say, being in Kent- very well, indeed! Thank you, good sir; I owe you Warner. A land of milk and honey!

Churchwarden Posh, of our town, being ill of Sir Cha. I hate milk and honey.

an indigestion from eating three pounds of measly Warner. A land of fat!

pork at a vestry dinner, I was making up a cathartic Sir Cha. Hang your fat!—listen to me my estate for the patient, when who should strut into the shop being in Kent

but Lieutenant Grains, the brewer—sleek as a drayWarner. So woody!

horse—in a smart scarlet jacket, tastily turned up Sir Cha. Curse the wood! Na—that's wrong; for with a rhubarb-coloured lapelle. I confess his figure it's convenient. I am coine on purpose to cut it. struck me. I looked at him as I was thumping the

Warner. Ah! I was afraid so! Dice on the table, mortar, and felt instantly inoculated with a military and then the axe to the root! Money lost at play, ardour. and then, good lack! the forest groans for it.

Sir Cha. Inoculated! I hope your ardour was of a 1 Sir Cha. But you are not the forest, and why do favourable sort ? you groan for it?

Olla. Ha! ha! That's very well-very well, indeed! Warner. I heartily wish, Sir Charles, you may not Thank you, good sir; I owe you one. We first talked encumber the goodly estate. Your worthy ancestors of shooting. He knew my celebrity that way, Sir had views for their posterity.

Charles. I told him the day before I had killed six Sir Cha. And I shall have views for my posterity-brace of birds. I thumpt on at the mortar. We then I shall take special care the trees shan't intercept talked of physic. I told him the day before I had their prospect.

killed-lost, I mean—six brace of patients. I thumpt on at the mortar, eyeing him all the while; for he

looked very flashy, to be sure; and I felt an itch. Servant. Mr Ollapod, the apothecary, is in the hall, ing to belong to the corps. The medical and military Sir Charles, to inquire after your health.

both deal in death, you know; so 'twas natural. He! Sir Cha. Show him in. [Exit servant.] The fellow's he! Do you take, good sir-do you take! & character, and treats time as he does his patients. Sir Cha. Take ? Oh, nobody can miss. He shall kill a quarter of an hour for me this morning. Olla. He then talked of the corps itself; said it was In short, Mr Warner, I must have three thousand sickly; and if a professional person would administer pounds in three days. Fell timber to that amount to the health of the Association-dose the men and immediately. 'Tis my peremptory order, sir. drench the horse-he could perhaps procure him a

Warner. I shall obey you, Sir Charles ; but 'tis cornetcy. with a heavy heart! Forgive an old servant of the Sir Cha. Well, you jumped at the offer? family if he grieves to see you forget some of the Olla. Jumped! I jumped over the counter, kicked duties for which society has a claim upon you. down Churchwarden Posh's cathartic into the pocket Sir Cha. What do you mean by duties?

of Lieutenant Grains' small scarlet jacket, tastily Warner. Duties, Sir Charles, which the extravagant turned up with a rhubarb-coloured lapelle; embraced man of property can never fulfil—such as to support him and his offer; and I am now Cornet Ollapod, the dignity of an English landholder for the honour apothecary at the Galen's Head, of the Association of old England; to promote the welfare of his honest Corps of Cavalry, at your service. tenants; and to succour the industrious poor, who Sir Cha. I wish you joy of your appointment. You naturally look up to him for assistance. But I shall may now distil water for the shop from the laurels obey you, Sir Charles.


. you gather in the field. Sir Cha. A tiresome old blockhead! But where is olla. Water for-oh! laurel water-he! he! Come, this Ollapod? His jumble of physic and shooting that's very well-very well indeed! Thank you, may enliven me ; and, to a man of gallantry in the good sir; I owe you one. Why, I fancy fame will country, his intelligence is by no means uninteresting, follow when the poison of a small mistake I made nor his services inconvenient. Ha, Ollapod!

has ceased to operate.

Sir Cha. A mistake?

Olla. Having to attend Lady Kitty Carbuncle on Ollapod. Sir Charles, I have the honour to be your a grand field-day, I clapt a pint bottle of her ladyslave. Hope your health is good. Been a hard ship's diet-drink' into one of my holsters, intending winter here. Sore throats were plenty ; so were wood- to proceed to the patient after the exercise was over. cocks. Flushed four couple one morning in a half. I reached the martial ground, and jalloped - galmile walk from our town to cure Mrs Quarles of a lopped, I mean-wheeled, and flourished, with great quinsey. May coming on soon, Sir Charles-season 1 eclat : but when the word ' Fire' was given, meaning





you take?



to pull out my pistol in a terrible hurry, I presented, very well indeed! Thank you, good madam; I owe you neck foremost, the hanged diet-drink of Lady Kitty one. Galenicals, madam, are medicines. Carbuncle; and the medicine being unfortunately Luc. Medicines ! fermented by the jolting of my horse, it forced out Olla. Yes, physic: buckthorn, senna, and so forth. the cork with a prodigious pop full in the face of my Luc. (Rising.) Why, then, you are an apothecary? gallant commander.

Olla. [Rising too, and bowing.] And man-midwife [OLLAPOD visits Miss LUCRETIA MACTAB, a 'stiff maiden

at your service, madam. aunt,' sister of one of the oldest barons in Scotland.]

Lric. At my service, indeed!

Olla. Yes, madam! Cornet Ollapod at the gilt Enter Foss.

Galen's Head, of the Volunteer Association Corps of Poss. There is one Mr Ollapod at the gate, an' Cavalry ---as ready for the foe as a customer; always please your ladyship’s honour, come to pay a visit

to willing to charge them both. Do you take, good

madam-do the family.

Lu. And has the Honourable Miss Lucretia Lucretia. Ollapod? What is the gentleman ? Foss. He says he's a cornet in the Galen's Head. MacTab been talking all this while to a petty dealer

in drugs? 'Tis the first time I ever heard of the corps. Luc. Ha! some new raised regiment. Show the

Olla. Drugs! Why, she turns up her honourable gentleman in. [Exit Foss. The country, then, has No man more respected than myself, madam. Courted

nose as if she was going to swallow them! [Aside.) heard of my arrival at last. A woman of condition, in a family, can never long conceal her retreat! by the corps, idolised by invalids; and for a shot-ask ollapod! that sounds like an ancient name.

If i my friend Sir Charles Cropland.

Luc. Is Sir Charles Cropland a friend of yours, am not mistaken, he is nobly descended.

sir ? Enter OLLAPOD.

Olla. Intimate. He doesn't make wry faces at

physic, whatever others may do, madam. This vilOlla. Madam, I have the honour of paying my lage flanks the intrenchments of his park-full of respects. Sweet spot, here, among the cows ; good fine fat venison ; which is as light a food for digestion for consumptions charming woods hereabouts-aspheasants flourish—so do agues-sorry not to see the Lic. But he is never on his estate here, I am told. good lieutenant-admire his room-hope soon to have Olla. He quarters there at this moment.

company. Do you take, good madam-do you Luc. Bless me! has Sir Charles thentake!

Olla. Told me all-your accidental meeting in Lau. I beg, sir, you will be seated.

the metropolis, and his visits when the lieutenant Olla. Oh, dear madam! [Sitting down.) A charm- was out. ing chair to bleed in!

[ Aside. Luc. Oh, shocking! I declare I shall faint. Luc. I am sorry Mr Worthington is not at home to Olla. Faint! never mind that, with a medical man receive you, sir.

in the room. I can bring you about in a twinkling. Olla. You are a relation of the lieutenant, madam? Lu. And what has Sir Charles Cropland presumed

Luc. I! only by his marriage, I assure you, sir. to advance about me! Aunt to his deceased wife: but I am not surprised Olla. Oh, nothing derogatory. Respectful as a duckat your question. My friends in town would won- legged drummer to a commander-in-chief. der to see the Honourable Miss Lucretia MacTab, Luc. I have only proceeded in this affair from the sister to the late Lord Lofty, cooped up in a farm- purest motives, and in a mode becoming a MacTab. bouse,

Olla. None dare to doubt it. Olla. (A side.] The honourable! humph! a bit of Luc. And if Sir Charles has dropt in to a dish of quality tumbled into decay. The sister of a dead peer tea with myself and Emily in London, when the in a pig-stye!

lieutenant was out, I see no harm in it. Luc. You are of the military, I am informed, sir? Olla. Nor I neither : except that tea shakes the

Olla. He ! he! Yes, madam. Cornet Ollapod, nervous system to shatters. But to the point: the of our volunteers—a fine healthy troop -- ready to baronet's my bosom friend. Having heard you were give the enemy a dose whenever they dare to here, 'Ollapod,' says he, squeezing my hand in his attack us.

own, which had strong symptoms of fever-Ollapod,' Lu. I was always prodigiously partial to the says he, you are a military man, and may be trusted.? military. My great grandfather, Marmaduke Baron I'm a cornet,' says I, and close as a pill-box.' Lofty, commanded a troop of horse under the Duke Fly, then, to Miss Lucretia MacTab, that honourable of Marlborough, that famous general of his age. picture of prudence

Ola. Marlborough was a hero of a man, madam; Lnu. Hehe! Did Sir Charles say that? and lived at Woodstock—a sweet sporting country; Olla. [A side.] How these tabbies love to be toaded! where Rosamond perished by poison-arsenic as likely Luc. In short, Sir Charles, I perceive, has appointed as anything.

you his emissary, to consult with me when he may Lric. And have you served much, Mr Ollapod ? have an interview.

Olla. He, he! Yes, madam; served all the nobility Olla. Madam, you are the sharpest shot at the and gentry for five miles round.

truth I ever met in my life. And now we are in Luc. Sir!

consultation, what think you of a walk with Miss Olla. And shall be happy to serve the good lieu- Emily by the old elms at the back of the village tenant and his family.

[Bowing. this evening? Luc. We shall be proud of your acquaintance, sir. Luc. Why, I am willing to take any steps which A gentleman of the army is always an acquisition may promote Emily's future welfare. among the Goths and Vandals of the country, where oua. Take steps ! what, in a walk ? He ! he! Come, every sheepish squire has the air of an apothecary. that's very well—very well indeed! Thank you, good

Oua. Madam! An apothe-Zounds !- hum!- madam ; I owe you one. I shall communicate to my He! he! 1-You must know, I-1 deal a little in friend with due despatch. Command Cornet Ollapod Galenicals myself (Sheepishly).

on all occasions; and whatever the gilt Galen's Head
Luc. Galenicals! Oh, they are for operations, I sup- can produce
pose, among the military?

Luc. [Curtsying.] Oh, sir!
Olla. Operations ! he! he ! Come, that's very well- Olla. By the by, I have some double-distilled




you one.

lavender water, much admired in our corps. Permit He had a patient lying at death's door, me to send a pint bottle by way of present.

Some three miles from the town, it might be four; Luc. Dear sir, I shall rob you.

To whom, one evening, Bolus sent an article
Olla. Quite the contrary; for I'll set it down to Sir | In pharmacy that's called cathartical.
Charles as a quart. [Aside.] Madam, your slave. And on the label of the stuff
You have prescribed for our patient like an able

He wrote this verse, physician. Not a step.

Which one would think was clear enough, Luc. Nay, I insist

And terse : Olla. Then I must follow in the rear- -the physi

When taken, cian always before the apothecary.

To be well shaken.' Luc. Apothecary! Sir, in this business I look upon you as a general officer.

Next morning early, Bolus rose, Olla. Do you? Thank you, good ma'am; I owe And to the patient's house he goes


Upon his pad,

Who a vile trick of stumbling had : The humorous poetry of Colman has been as It was, indeed, a very sorry hack; popular as his plays. Of his ‘Broad Grins,' the

But that's of course ; eighth edition (London, 1839) is now before us. For what's expected from a horse, Some of the pieces are tinged with indelicacy, but With an apothecary on his back! others display his lively sparkling powers of wit and Bolus arrived, and gave a doubtful tap, observation in a very agreeable light. We subjoin Between a single and a double rap. two of these pleasant levities.

Knocks of this kind

Are given by gentlemen who teach to dance;
The Newcastle Apothecary.

By fiddlers, and by opera-singers;

One loud, and then a little one behind, A man in many a country town, we know,

As if the knocker fell by chance
Professes openly with death to wrestle ;

Out of their fingers.
Entering the field against the grimly foe,
Armed with a mortar and a pestle.

The servant lets him in with dismal face,
Yet some affirm, no enemies they are;

Long as a courtier's out of place But meet just like prize-fighters in a fair,

Portending some disaster; Who first shake hands before they box,

John's countenance as rueful looked and grim,

As if the apothecary had physiced hiin,
Then give each other plaguy knocks,

And not his master.
With all the love and kindness of a brother:
So (many a suffering patient saith)

'Well, how's the patient? Bolus said; Though the apothecary fights with Death,

John shook his head. Still they're sworn friends to one another.

'Indeed !-hum! ha!-that's very odd! A member of this Æsculapian line,

He took the draught ?' John gave a nod.

1 Lived at Newcastle-upon-Tyne:

Well, how? what then? speak out, you dunce !" No man could better gild a pill,

Why, then,' says John,' we shook him once.'
Or make a bill;

Shook him !-how! Bolus stammered out.
Or mix a draught, or bleed, or blister;

"We jolted him about.' Or draw a tooth out of your head;

“Zounds! shake a patient, man!-a shake won't da! Or chatter scandal by your bed;

No, sir, and so we gave him two.'

'Two shakes! od's curse! Or give a clyster.

'Twould make the patient worse. Of occupations these were quantum suff.:

“It did so, sir, and so a third we tried.' Yet still he thought the list not long enough; "Well, and what then? Then, sir, my master died.'

And therefore midwifery he chose to pin to't. This balanced things; for if he hurled

Lodgings for Single Gentlenen. A few score mortals from the world,

Who has e'er been in London, that overgrown place, He made amends by bringing others into't.

Has seen *Lodgings to Let' stare him fuil in the face; His fame full six miles round the country ran; Some are good, and let dearly; while some, 'tis well In short, in reputation he was solus :

known, All the old women called him'a fine man!

Are so dear, and so bad, they are best let alone. His name was Bolus.

Will Waddle, whose temper was studious and lonely, Benjamin Bolus, though in trade

Hired lodgings that took single gentlemen only; (Which oftentimes will genius fetter),

But Will was so fat, he appeared like a ton, Read works of fancy, it is said,

Or like two single gentlemen rolled into one. And cultivated the belles lettres.

He entered his rooms, and to bed he retreated, And why should this be thought so odd ?

But all the night long he felt fevered and heated; Can't men have taste who cure a phthisic?

And though heavy to weigh, as a score of fat sheep, Of poetry, though patron god,

He was not by any means heavy to sleep.
Apollo patronises physic.
Bolus loved verse, and took so much delight in't,

Next night 'twas the same; and the next, and the

next; That his prescriptions he resolved to write in't.

He perspired like an ox; he was nervous and resed;

; No opportunity he e'er let pass

Week passed after woek, till, by weekly succession, Of writing the directions on his labels

His weakly condition was past all expression.
In dapper couplets, like Gay's Fables,
Or rather like the lines in Hudibras.

In six months his acquaintance began much to doubt Apothecary's verse! and where's the treason? For his skin, 'like a lady's loose gown,'hung about him 'Tis simply honest dealing ; not a crime ;

He sent for a doctor, and cried like a ninny; When patients swallow physic without reason, “I have lost many pounds-make me well-there's a It is but fair to give a little rhymne.



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