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Against this man, (whose honesty the devil
Enter King, frowning on them; takes his seat. Gar. Dread sovereign, how much are we bound to
heaven In daily thanks, that gave us such a prince ; Not only good and wise, but most religious : One that, in all obedience, makes the church The chief aim of his honour; and, to strengthen That holy duty, out of dear respect, His royal self in judgment comes to hear, The cause betwixt her and this great offender. K. Hen. You were ever good at sudden commenda
Sur. May it please your grace,
No, sir, it does not please me.
Bid ye so far forget yourselves ? I gave ye
K. Hen. Well, well, my lords, respect him ;
Cran. The greatest monarch now alive may glory
spoons; you shall have
With a true heart,
And let heaven
K. Hen. Good man, those joyful tears show thy true
heart. The common voice, I see, is verified Of thee, which says thus,“ Do my lord of Canterbury A shrewd turn, and he is your friend for ever."Come, lords, we trifle time away; I long To have this young one made a christian. As I have made ye one, lords, one remain; So I grow stronger, you more honour gain. [Exeunt.
SCENE III.— The Palace Yard. Noise and tumult within. Enter Porter and his Man.
Port. You 'll leave your noise anon, ye rascals : Do you take the court for Paris-garden? ye rude slaves, leave your gaping.
[Within.] Good master porter, I belong to the larder.
Port. Belong to the gallows, and be hanged, you rogue: Is this a place to roar in ?-Fetch me a dozen crab-tree staves, and strong ones; these are but switches to them.-I 'll scratch your heads : You must be seeing christenings? Do you look for ale and cakes here, you rude rascals?
Man. Pray, sir, be patient; 't is as much impossible (Unless we sweep them from the door with cannons) To scatter them, as 't is to make them sleep On May-day morning; which will never be : We may as well push against Paul's, as stir them.
Port. How got they in, and be hang'd ?
Man. Alas, I know not; How gets the tide in?
You did nothing, sir. Man. I am not Samson, nor sir Guy, nor Colbrand, a Gaping-shouting. The “gaping pig” of Shylock meant probably the roaring pig.
to mow them down before me: but, if I spare any that had a head to hit, either young or old, he or she, cuckold or cuckold-maker, let me never hope to see a chine again; and that I would not for a cow, God save her.
[Within.] Do you hear, master porter ?
Port. I shall be with you presently, good master puppy.-Keep the door close, sirrah.
Man. What would you have me do ?
Port. What should you do, but knock them down by the dozens? Is this Moorfields to muster in? or have we some strange Indian with the great tool come to court, the women so besiege us? Bless me, what a fry of fornication is at door! On my christian conscience, this one christening will beget a thousand; here will be father, godfather, and all together.
Man. The spoons will be the bigger, sir. There is a fellow somewhat near the door, he should be a brazier by his face, for, o' my conscience, twenty of the dogdays now reign in 's nose; all that stand about him are under the line, they need no other penance : That firedrake® did I hit three times on the head, and three times was his nose discharged against me; he stands there, like a mortar-piece, to blow us. There was a haberdasher's wife of small wit near him, that railed upon me till her pink'd porringer fell off her head, for kindling such a combustion in the state. I miss'd the meteor once, and hit that woman, who cried out, clubs ! when I might see from far some forty truncheoneers draw to her succour, which were the hope of the Strand, where she was quartered. They fell on; I made good my place; at length they came to the broomstaff to me; I defied them still; when suddenly a file of boys behind them, loose shot, delivered such a shower of pebbles, that I was fain to draw mine honour in, and let
a Fire-drake. An ignis-fatuus was so called; and the name was also given to any artificial firework.
them win the work: The devil was amongst them, I think, surely.
Port. These are the youths that thunder at a playhouse, and fight for bitten apples; that no audience, but the Tribulation of Tower-hill, or the limbs of Limehouse, their dear brothers, are able to endure. I have some of them in Limbo Patrum, and there they are like to dance these three days; besides the running banquet of two beadles, that is to come.
Enter the Lord Chamberlain. Cham. Mercy o'me, what a multitude are here ! They grow still too, from all parts they are coming, As if we kept a fair here! Where are these porters, These lazy knaves ?— Ye have made a fine hand, fellows. There 's a trim rabble let in: Are all these Your faithful friends o' the suburbs? We shall have Great store of room, no doubt, left for the ladies, When they pass back from the christening. Port.
An 't please your honour We are but men ; and what so many may do, Not being torn a pieces, we have done : An army cannot rule them.
As I live, If the king blame me for ’t, I'll lay ye all By the heels, and suddenly; and on your heads Clap round fines, for neglect : You are lazy knaves; And here ye lie baiting of bumbards, a when Ye should do service.-Hark, the trumpets sound; They are come already from the christening : Go, break among the press, and find a way out To let the troop pass fairly'; or I 'll find A Marshalsea, shall hold you play these two months.
Port. Make way there for the princess.
Man. You great fellow, stand close up, or I 'll make your head ache.