What heart receives from hence a conquering part,
To steel a strong opinion to themselves?

Which entertained, limbs are his instruments,
In no less working, than are swords and bows
Directive by the limbs.

Ulyss.
Give pardon to my speech ;-
Therefore 'tis meet, Achilles meet not Hector.
Let us, like merchants, show our foulest wares,
And think, perchance, they'll sell; if not,

The lustre of the better shall exceed,

By showing the worse first.

Do not consent, That ever Hector and Achilles meet;

For both our honor and our shame, in this,

Are dogged with two strange followers.

Nest. I see them not with my old eyes: what are they?

Ulyss. What glory our Achilles shares from Hector, Were he not proud, we all should share with him: But he already is too insolent;

And we were better parch in Afric sun,

Than in the pride and salt scorn of his eyes,
Should he 'scape Hector fair. If he were foiled,
Why, then we did our main opinion crush
In taint of our best man. No, make a lottery;
And, by device, let blockish Ajax draw

3

The sort to fight with Hector. Among ourselves,
Give him allowance for the better man,

For that will physic the great Myrmidon,

Who broils in loud applause; and make him fall
His crest, that prouder than blue Iris bends.
If the dull, brainless Ajax come safe off,4
We'll dress him up in voices. If he fail,
Yet go we under our opinion still,

That we have better men. But, hit or miss,

1 The folio reads:

"The lustre of the better, yet to show

Shall show the better."

2 Opinion for estimation or reputation.

3 Lot.

4 Shakspeare, misled by The Destruction of Troy, appears to have confounded Ajax Telamonius with Ajax Oileus; for in that book the latter is called simply Ajax, as the more eminent of the two.

Our project's life this shape of sense assumes,-
Ajax, employed, plucks down Achilles' plumes.
Nest. Ulysses,

Now I begin to relish thy advice;

And I will give a taste of it forthwith

To Agamemnon; go we to him straight.
Two curs shall tame each other; pride alone

Must tarre1 the mastiffs on. as 'twere their bone.

[Exeunt.

ACT II.2

SCENE I. Another Part of the Grecian Camp.

Enter AJAX and THERSITES.

Ajax. Thersites,

Ther. Agamemnon-how if he had boils? full, all over generally?

Ajax. Thersites,

Ther. And those boils did run ?-Say so,-did not the general run then? were not that a botchy core? Ajax. Dog,

Ther. Then would come some matter from him; I

see none now.

Ajax. Thou bitch-wolf's son, canst thou not hear? Feel, then. [Strikes him. Ther. The plague of Greece upon thee, thou mongrel, beef-witted lord! 4

Ajax. Speak, then, thou unsalted leaven,5 speak! I will beat thee into handsomeness.

1 i. e. urge, stimulate. See King John, Act iv. Sc. 1.

2 This play is not divided into acts in any of the original editions.

3 Alluding to the plague sent by Apollo on the Grecian army.

4 He calls Ajax mongrel, on account of his father being a Grecian and his mother a Trojan.

5 The folio has "thou whinid'st leaven," a corruption, undoubtedly, of vinewd'st or vinniedst, i. e. mouldy leaven. Thou unsalted leaven, is as much as to say, "thou foolish lump."

Ther. I shall sooner rail thee into wit and holiness; but, I think, thy horse will sooner con an oration, than thou learn a prayer without book. Thou canst strike, canst thou? a red murrain' o'thy jade's tricks!

Ajax. Toads-stool, learn me the proclamation. Ther. Dost thou think I have no sense, thou strikest me thus ?

Ajax. The proclamation,

Ther. Thou art proclaimed a fool, I think.

Ajax. Do not, porcupine, do not: my fingers itch. Ther. I would thou didst itch from head to foot, and I had the scratching of thee; I would make thee the loathsomest scab in Greece. When thou art forth in the incursions, thou strikest as slow as another.

Ajax. I say, the proclamation,

Ther. Thou grumblest and railest every hour on Achilles; and thou art as full of envy at his greatness, as Cerberus is at Proserpina's beauty, ay, that thou barkest at him.

Ajax. Mistress Thersites !

Ther. Thou shouldst strike him.

Ajax. Cobloaf! 2

Ther. He would pun3 thee into shivers with his fist, as a sailor breaks a biscuit.

Ajax. You whoreson cur!

Ther. Do, do.

Ajax. Thou stool for a witch!

[Beating him.

Ther. Ay, do, do; thou sodden-witted lord! thou hast no more brain than I have in mine elbows: an assinico may tutor thee. Thou scurvy-valiant ass! thou art here put to thrash Trojans; and thou_art bought and sold among those of any wit, like a Barbarian slave. If thou use to beat me, I will begin at

1 In The Tempest, Caliban says, "The red plague rid you."

2 Cobloaf is, perhaps, equivalent to ill-shapen-lump. Minsheu says, a cobloaf is a little loaf made with a round head, such as cobirons which support the fire.

3 i. e. pound; still in use provincially.

4 From the Spanish asnico, a young or little ass; a word, indeed, entirely similar in sound, which seems to have been adopted into our language to signify a silly ass, a stupid fellow.

thy heel, and tell what thou art by inches, thou thing

of no bowels, thou!

Ajax. You dog!

Ther. You scurvy lord!

Ajax. You cur!

[Beating him.

Ther. Mars his idiot! do rudeness; do, camel; do, do.

Enter ACHILLES and PATROCLUS.

Achil. Why, how now, Ajax? wherefore do you thus?
-How now, Thersites? what's the matter, man?
Ther. You see him there, do you?
Achil. Ay; what's the matter?
Ther. Nay, look upon him.

Achil. So I do; what's the matter?
Ther. Nay, but regard him well.
Achil. Well, why, I do so.

Ther. But yet you look not well upon him; for whosoever you take him to be, he is Ajax.

Achil. I know that, fool.

Ther. Ay, but that fool knows not himself.
Ajax. Therefore I beat thee.

Ther. Lo, lo, lo, lo, what modicums of wit he utters! His evasions have ears thus long. I have bobbed his brain, more than he has beat my bones; I will buy nine sparrows for a penny, and his pia mater is not worth the ninth part of a sparrow. This lord, Achilles, Ajax,-who wears his wit in his belly, and his guts in his head, I'll tell you what I say of him.

Achil. What?

Ther. I say, this Ajax

Achil. Nay, good Ajax.

[AJAX offers to strike him, ACHILLES

Ther. Has not so much wit

Achil. Nay, I must hold you.

interposes.

Ther. As will stop the eye of Helen's needle, for

whom he comes to fight.

Achil. Peace, fool!

Ther. I would have peace and quietness, but the fool will not; he there; that he; look you there. Ajax. O thou damned cur! I shall

Achil. Will you set your wit to a fool's?

Ther. No, I warrant you; for a fool's will shame it. Patr. Good words, Thersites.

Achil. What's the quarrel?

Ajax. I bade the vile owl go learn me the tenor of the proclamation, and he rails upon me.

Ther. I serve thee not.

Ajax. Well, go to, go to.

Ther. I serve here voluntary.

Achil. Your last service was sufferance, 'twas not voluntary; no man is beaten voluntary; Ajax was here the voluntary, and you as under an impress.

Ther. Even so?-A great deal of your wit too lies in your sinews, or else there be liars. Hector shall have a great catch, if he knock out either of your brains; 'a were as good crack a fusty nut with no kernel.

Achil. What, with me too, Thersites ?

Ther. There's Ulysses, and old Nestor,-whose wit was mouldy ere your grandsires had nails on their toes,yoke you like draught oxen, and make you plough up the wars.

Achil. What, what?

Ther. Yes, good sooth. To, Achilles! to, Ajax! to! Ajax. I shall cut out your tongue.

Ther. 'Tis no matter; I shall speak as much as thou, afterwards.

Patr. No more words, Thersites; peace.

Ther. I will hold my peace when Achilles' brach1 bids me, shall I ?

Achil. There's for you, Patroclus.

Ther. I will see you hanged, like clotpoles, ere I come any more to your tents; I will keep where there is wit stirring, and leave the faction of fools.

[Exit.

1 Both the old copies read brooch, which may be right; for we find monile and bulla in the dictionaries interpreted "a bosse, an hart; a brooch, or jewell of a round compasse to hang about ones neck." The term brach was suggested by Rowe, and is "a mannerly name for all hound-bitches.”