The Works of Lord Byron Complete in One Volume

Imperial Waltz! imported from the Rhine (Famed for the growth of pedigrees and wine), Long be thine import from all duty free, And Hock itself be less esteem'd than thee; In some few qualities alike-for Hock Improves our cellar-thou our living stock. The head to Hock belongs-thy subtler art Intoxicates alone the heedless heart: Through the full veins thy gentler poison swims, And wakes to wantonness the willing limbs.

Oh, Germany! how much to thee we owe,
As heaven-born Pitt can testify below;
Ere cursed Confederation made thee France's,
And only left us thy d-d debts and dances;
Of subsidies and Hanover bereft

We bless thee still-for George the Third is left!
Of kings the best-and last, not least in worth,
For graciously begetting George the Fourth.
To Germany, and Highnesses Serene,
Who owe us millions-don't we owe the Queen?
To Germany, what owe we not besides?
So oft bestowing Brunswickers and brides;
Who paid for vulgar, with their royal blood,
Drawn from the stem of each Teutonic stud;
Who sent us-so be pardon'd all her faults-
A dozen Dukes -some Kings-a Queen-and

Waltz.

But peace to her-her Emperor and Diet, Though now transferr'd to Bonaparte's "fiat;" Back to my theme-0! Muse of motion say, How first to ALBION found thy Waltz her way?

Borne on the breath of hyperborean gales, From Hamburg's port (while Hamburg yet had mails),

Ere yet unlucky Fame-compell'd to creep
To snowy Gottenburg-was chill'd to sleep;
Or, starting from her slumbers, deign'd arise,
Heligoland! to stock thy mart with lies;
While unburnt Moscow yet had news to send,
Nor owed her fiery exit to a friend;
She came-Waltz came-and with her certain sets
Of true despatches, and as true gazettes;
Then flamed of Austerlitz the blest despatch,
Which Moniteur nor Morning-Post can match;
And-almost crush'd beneath the glorious news-
Ten plays, and forty tales of Kotzebue's;
One envoy's letters, six composers' airs,
And loads from Frankfort and from Leipzig fairs;
Meiner's four volumes upon womankind,
Like Lapland witches to ensure a wind;
Brunck's heaviest tome for ballast, and to back it,
Of Heyne, such as should not sink the packet.
Fraught with this cargo-and her fairest freight,
Delightful Waltz, on tiptoe for a mate,
The welcome vessel reach'd the genial strand,
And round her flock'd the daughters of the land.
Not decent David, when, before the ark,
His grand pas-seul excited some remark;
Not love-lorn Quixote, when his Sancho thought
The knight's fandango friskier than it ought;
Not soft Herodias, when with winning tread
Her nimble feet danced off another's head;
Not Cleopatra on her galley's deck,
Display'd so much of leg, or more of neck,
Than thou, ambrosial Waltz, when first the moon
Beheld thee twirling to a Saxon tune!

To you-ye husbands of ten years! whose brows Ache with the annual tributes of a spouse; To you, of nine years less-who only bear The budding sprouts of those that you shall wear, With added ornaments around them roll'd, Of native brass, or law-awarded gold; To you, ye matrons, ever on the watch To mar a son's, or make a daughter's match; To you, ye children of-whom chance accords Always the ladies, and sometimes their lords; To you-ye single gentlemen! who seek

Torments for life, or pleasures for a week;
As love of Hymen your endeavours guide,
To gain your own, or snatch another's bride;
To one and all the lovely stranger came,
And every ball-room echoes with her name.

Endearing Waltz-to thy more melting tune Bow Irish jig, and ancient rigadoon; Scotch reels avaunt! and country-dance forego Your future claims to each fantastic toe; Waltz-Waltz-alone both legs and arms demands, Liberal of feet, and lavish of her hands; Hands which may freely range in public sight Where ne'er before-but-pray "put out the light." Methinks the glare of yonder chandelier Shines much too far-or I am much too near ; And true, though strange-Waltz whispers this remark,

"My slippery steps are safest in the dark!“ But here the Muse with due decorum halte, And lends her longest petticoat to Waltz.

Observant travellers! of every time; Ye quartos! publish'd upon every clime; O say, shall dull Romaika's heavy round, Fandango's wriggle, or Bolero's bound; Can Egypt's Almas-tantalizing groupColumbia's caperers to the warlike whoopCan aught from cold Kamtschatka to Cape Horn With Waltz compare, or after Waltz be borne? Ah, no! from Morier's pages down to Galt's, Each tourist pens a paragraph for “Waltz.”

Shades of those belles, whose reign began of yore, With George the Third's-and ended long beforeThough in your daughters' daughters yet yon thrive,

Burst from your lead, and be yourselves alive!
Back to the ball-room speed your spectred host ;
Fool's Paradise is dull to that you lost.

No treacherous powder bids conjecture quake;
No stiff starch'd stays make meddling fingers ache
(Transferr'd to those ambiguous things that ape
Goats in their visage, women in their shape);
No damsel faints when rather closely press'd,
But more caressing seems when most caress'd;
Superfluous hartshorn, and reviving salts,
Both banish'd by the sovereign cordial "Waltz."
Seductive Waltz!-though on thy native shore
Even Werter's self proclaim'd thee half a whore;
Werter-to decent vice though much inclined;
Yet warm, not wanton; dazzled, but not blind-
Though gentle Genlis, in her strife with Stael,
Would even proscribe thee from a Paris ball;
Thee fashion hails-from Countesses to queans,
And maids and valets waltz behind the scenes;
Wide and more wide thy witching circle spreads,
And turns-if nothing else—at least our "heads;
With thee even clumsy cits attempt to bounce,
And cockneys practise what they can't pronounce.
Gods! how the glorious theme my strain exalts,
And rhyme finds partner rhyme in praise of
"Waltz."

Blest was the time Waltz chose for her debut; The Court, the Regent, like herself were new; New face for friends, for foes some new rewards, New ornaments for black and royal guards; New laws to hang the rogues that roar'd for bread; New coins (most new) to follow those that fled; New victories-nor can we prize them less, Though Jenky wonders at his own success: New wars, because the old succeed so well, That most survivors envy those who fell; New mistresses-no-old-yet 'tis true, Though they be old, the thing is something new; Each new, quite new-(except some ancient tricks); New white-sticks, gold-sticks, broom-sticks, all new sticks!

With vests or ribands-deck'd alike in hue,
New troopers strut, new turncoats blush in blue;
So saith the Muse-my--, what say you?
Such was the time when Waltz might best maintain
Her new preferments in this novel reign;
Such was the time, nor ever yet was such,
Hoops are no more, and petticoats not much;
Morals and minuets, Virtue and her stays,
And tell-tale Powder-all have had their days.
The ball begins-the honours of the house
First duly done by daughter or by spouse,
Some potentate-or royal or serene-
With K-t's gay grace, or sapient G-st-r's mien,
Leads forth the ready dame, whose rising flush
Might once have been mistaken for a blush.
From where the garb just leaves the bosom free,
That spot where hearts were once supposed to be;
Round all the confines of the yielded waist,
The strangest hand may wander undisplaced;
The lady's in return may grasp as much
As princely paunches offer to her touch.

And thou, my Prince! whose sovereign taste
and will

It is to love the lovely beldames still;
Thou, ghost of Q----! whose judging sprite
Satan may spare to peep a single night,
Pronounce if ever in your days of bliss-
Asmodens struck so bright a stroke as this ;
To teach the young ideas how to rise,
Flush in the cheek and languish in the eyes;
Rush to the heart, and lighten through the frame,
With half-told wish, and ill-dissembled flame;
For prurient nature still will storm the breast-
Who, tempted thus, can answer for the rest?

But ye-who never felt a single thought
For what our morals are to be or ought;
Who wisely wish the charms you view to reap,
Say-would you make those beauties quite so
cheap?
Hot from the hand promiscuously applied,

Pleased round the chalky floor how well they trip, Round the slight waist, or down the glowing side;
One hand reposing on the royal hip;
The other to the shoulder no less royal
Ascending with affection truly loyal;

Where were the rapture then to clasp the form,
From this lewd grasp and lawless contact warm?
At once Love's most endearing thought resign,
To press the hand so press'd by none but thine;
To gaze upon that eye which never met
Another's ardent look without regret ;
Approach the lip which all, without restraint,
Come near enough-if not to touch-to taint;

Thus front to front the partners move or stand,
The foot may rest, but none withdraw the hand;
And all in turn may follow in their rank,
The Earl of Asterisk-and Lady-Blank;
Sir-such a one-with those of Fashion's host,
For whose blest surnames-vide "Morning-Post;"If such thou lovest-love her then no more,
(Or if for that impartial print too late,
Search Doctors' Commons six months from my
date)-

Thus all and each, in movement swift or slow,
The genial contact gently undergo;
Till some might marvel, with the modest Turk,
If "nothing follows all this palming work?"`
True honest Mirza-you may trust my rhyme-
Something does follow at a fitter time;
The breast thus publicly resign'd to man,
In private may resist him--if it can.

O ye! who loved our grandmothers of yore, Fitzpatrik, Sheridan, and many more!

Or give-like her-caresses to a score;
Her mind with these is gone, and with it go
The little left behind it to bestow.

Voluptuous Waltz! and dare I thus balspheme?
Thy bard forgot thy praises were his theme.
Terpsichore forgive!-at every ball

My wife now waltzes-and my daughters shall;
My son (or stop-'tis needless to inquire-
These little accidents should ne'er transpire;
Some ages hence our genealogic tree
Will wear as green a bough for him as me),
Waltzing shall rear, to make our name amends,
Grandsons for me-in heirs to all his friends.

Quam familiariter. (p. 773. My Latin is all forgotten, if a man can be said to have forgotten what he never remembered; but. I bought my title-page-motto of a Catholic priest for a three shilling Bank-token, after much haggling for the even sixpence. I grudged the money to a Papist, being all for the memory of Perceval and "No Popery;" and quite regretting the downfal of the Pope, because we can't burn him any more.

Muse of the many-twinkling feet! [p. 773. "Glance their many-twinkling feet."-GRAY. On Hounslow's heath to rival Wellesley's fame. [p. 773. To rival Lord Wellesley's, or his nephew's, as the reader pleases :-the one gained a pretty woman, whom he deserved by fighting for; and the other has been fighting in the Peninsula many a long day, "by Shrewsbury clock," without gaining any thing in that country but the title of "the Great Lord," and "the Lord," which savours of profanation, having been hitherto applied only to that Being, to whom "Te Deums" for carnage are the rankest blasphemy.—It is to be presumed

the General will one day return to his Sabine farm, there

To tame the genius of the stubborn plain, Almost as quickly as he conquer`d Spain! The Lord Peterborough conquered continents in a summer; we do more-we contrive both to conquer and lose them in a shorter season. If the "Great Lord's" Cincinnatian progress in agriculture be no speedier than the proportional average of time in Pope's couplet, it will, according to the farmer's proverb, be "ploughing with dogs."

By the bye-one of this illustrious person's new titles is forgotten-it is, however, worth remembering "Salvador del Mundo!"-credite posteri! If this be the appellation annexed by the inhabitants of the Peninsula to the name of a man who has not yet saved them-query-are they worth saving even in this world? for, according to the mildest modifications of any Christian creed, those three words make the odds much against them in the next.-"Saviour of the World," quotha!-it were to be wished that he, or any one else, could save a corner of it-his country. Yet this stupid misnomer, although it shows the near connexion between Superstition and Impiety, so far has its use, that it proves there can be little to dread from those Catholics (inquisitorial Catholics too) who can confer such an appellation on a Protestant. I suppose next

year he will be entitled the "Virgin Mary:" if 80, Ford George Gordon himself would have nothing to object to such liberal bastards of our Lady of Babylon.

While unburnt Moscow yet had news to send. [p. 773. The patriotic arson of our amiable allies cannot be sufficiently commended-nor subscribed for. Amongst other details omitted in the various despatches of our eloquent Ambassador, he did not state (being too much occupied with the exploits of Colonel C, in swimming rivers frozen, and gallopping over roads impassable), that one entire province perished by famine in the most melancholy manner, as follows:- In General Rostopchin's consummate conflagration, the consumption of tallow and train-oil was so great, that the market was inadequate to the demand and thus one hundred and thirty-three thousand persons were starved to death, by being reduced to wholesome diet! The lamplighters of London have since subscribed a pint (of oil, a piece, and the tallow-chandlers have unanimously voted a quantity of best mould (four to the pound), to the relief of the surviving Scythians-the scarcity will soon, by such exertions, and a proper attention to the quality rather than the quantity of provision, be totally alleviated. It is said, in return, that the untouched Ukraine has subscribed 60,000 beeves for a day's meal to our suffering mauufacturers.

Can Egypt's Almas-tantalizing group. [p. 774. Dancing girls-who do for hire what Waltz doth gratis.

Goats in their visage, women in their shape. [p. 774. It cannot be complained now, as in the Lady Baussiere's time, of the "Sieur de la Croix, that there be "no whiskers;" but how far these are indications of valour in the field, or elsewhere, may still be questionable. Much may be and hath been avouched on both sides. In the olden time philosophers had whiskers, and soldiers none-Scipio himself was shaven-Hannibal thought his one eye handsome enough without a beard; but Adrian, the Emperor, wore a beard (having warts on his chin, which neither the Empress Sabina, nor even the courtiers could abide)-Turenne had whiskers, Marlborough none -Buonaparte is unwhiskered, the Regent whiskered; "argal" greatness of mind and whiskers may or may not go together; but certainly the different occurrences, since the growth of the last-mentioned, go further in behalf of whiskers than the anathema of Anselm did against long hair in the reign of Henry 1.

See

Formerly red was a favourite colour.
Lodowick Barrey's Comedy of Ram Alley, 1611.
Act 1, Scene 1.

Taffeta. Now, for a wager-What coloured
beard comes next by the window?

Adriana. A black man's, 1 think.

There is "nothing new under the sun;" bat red, then a favourite, has now subsided into a favourite's colour.

The Court, the Regent, like herself were new.

[p. 771. An Anachronism-Waltz, and the battle of Austerlitz, are before said to have opened the ball together: the bard means (if he means any thing), Waltz was not so much in vogue till the Regent attained the acme of his popularity. Waltz, the Comet, Whiskers, and the new Gevernment, illuminated heaven and earth, in all their glory, much about the same time: of these the Comet only has disappeared; the other three continue to astonish us still. PRINTER'S DEVIL.

New coins (most new) to follow those that fled.

[p. 774. Amongst others a new ninepence-a creditable coin now forthcoming, worth a pound, in paper, at the fairest calculation.

Each new, quite new (except some ancient tricks);

[p. 174. "Oh that right should thus overcome might!" Who does not remember the "delicate investigation" in the "Merry Wives of Windsor ?" 'Ford. Pray you come near: without cause, why then make sport at me; then How now ? let me be your jest; I deserve it. whither bear you this?"

if I suspect

"Mrs. Ford. What have you to do whither they bear it?-you were best meddle with backwashing."

So saith the Muse—my—, what say you?

(p. 774. The gentle, or ferocius reader, may fill up the blank as he pleases-there are several dissyllabic names at his service (being already in the Regent's): it would not be fair to back any peculiar initial against the alphabet, as every inonth will add to the list now entered for the sweepstakes-a distinguished Consonant is said to be the favourite, much against the wishes of the knowing ones.

That spot where hearts were once supposed to be. [p. 775.

"We have changed all that," says the Mock Doctor, "tis all gone-Asmodeus knows where. After all, it is of no great importance how women's hearts are disposed of; they have Nature's as absurdly as privilege to distribute them possible. But there are also some men with hearts so thoroughly bad, as to remind us of those phenomena often mentioned in natural history; viz. a mass of solid stone-only to be opened by force-and when divided, you discover a toad in the centre, lively, and with the repatation of being venomous."

If "nothing follows all this palming work.” (p. 775. In Turkey a pertinent here an impertinent and superfluous question-literally put, as in Walz in Pera.-Vide MORIER's Travels. W

Taffeta. I think not so: I think a red, for the text, by a Persian to Morier, on seeing a that is most in fashion,

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