ST. FRANCIS: A REPARTEE.

A CORDELIER, preaching on the merits of St.

Francis, exalted him, in his difcourfe, above all the other faints in the calendar. After exaggerating his merits, he exclaimed, "Where fhall we place the feraphic father, St. Francis? He is greater in dignity than all other faints. Shall we place him among the prophets? Oh! he is greater than the prophets. Shall we place him with the patriarchs? Oh! he is greater than the patriarchs."-In like manner he exalted him above the angels, archangels, cherubim, feraphin, virė tues, thrones, dominions, and powers; and ftill he exclaimed, "Where then thall we place him? Where fhall we place this holy faint ?" A failor in the church, tired with the difcourfe, ftood up and faid, "If you really don't know where to place him, you may place him in my feat; for I am going."

THE CASE OF TITUS DRIPPING.

[From the Freemason's Magazine.]

DEAR MR. EDITOR,

"

KNOW not how far the reprefentation of griev ances in the monthly magazines has a tendency to give relief; but from its being frequently done, I am apt to conceive that some benefit arifes from it, although the evil complained of may not be altogether removable. There is fomething in the very communication of grief which gives a temporary eafe to the burdened mind, and procures the fufferer often the fatisfaction of knowing, that there are others in a fimilar or a worse ftate than himself.

Without farther preface, then, know ye by these prefents, that before the month of June, one thoufand

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feven

feven hundred and ninety-nine years, no man was more happy in his family than myfelf-no family enjoyed a greater portion of bodily health and earthly happiness; but it happened very unfortunately at that period, namely, June 1799, that my whole family were feized with diforders which they had never been afflicted with before. My wife and three daughters were poffeffed with a fhort cough, want of breath, and decay of appetite; my two fons had all the fymptoms of a confumptive tendency, except the outward ones, for their looks and appetites were as usual, but they complained often of a cough, and imagined that the fmoke of the town affected their lungs.

There were feveral circumstances in these disorders which puzzled me extremely.

In the first place, it was very fingular that my whole family fhould be affected, and nearly with the fame fymptoms, while, I remained without the least complaint, and notwithstanding I lived in the fame house, breathed the fame air, ate and drank of the fame eatables and drinkables, and was always with my family. My medical knowledge is not to be boasted of; but from what little I had read, this phenomenon appeared to me very fingular.

Secondly. There was another circumftance which appeared to me more wonderful than the former, and that was, that all the fymptoms of diforders in my family were exafperated on my appearance. Not a fingle hem nor cough was heard until I came into the room, nor did ever any of my neighbours remark that any thing was the matter with my wife and children. This appeared to me very ftrange: the moment I entered the room, I was faluted with a full chorus of coughing, accompanied, or rather followed, by such wheezing, deep fighs, and groans, as are only to be heard in an hofpital; whereas the moment I left the room, health and quiet were reftored. This, I con

fefs,

f

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CASE OF TITUS DRIPPING,

of.

209

fefs, made me look upon myself as a peftiferous fellow, a walking Pandora's box, diffusing disease around me, although (which made the miracle the greater) I could perceive no fuch infection pafs from me in any place, but where my own family were. On remark. ing this to my wife, the affured me that I must be miftaken; but I have reafon, as you fhall foon hear, to believe what I have told you was ftricly true.

Thirdly. I remarked that the diforders my family were afflicted with came on fuddenly; in one evening, indeed, after their being in company with a neighbouring family, where, as I well remember, the converfation turned upon watering-places, and what a fweet place Margate was.

To make as fhort of my story as poffible, the complaint increased, and I thought it prudent to fend for my family phyfician, who, after being clofeted with Mrs. Dripping for about a quarter of an hour, gave it as his opinion, that a month or fix weeks refidence at one of the watering-places was the only thing likely to be of fervice to my family. I cheerfully acquiefced; for what would not a tender father do in fuch a cafe to procure relief to the wife and children of his best affections? Had I been obliged to fell all, I would have. cheerfully done it to fave the lives of thofe fo dear to me. I was the more anxious to comply with the doctor's advice, as, from what inform you above, I had reafon to believe that I was the caufe of their ailments, and for that reafon would have declined accompanying my family, had not my wife, on a fecond confultation with the doctor, perfuaded me that there was no danger. Well, away we went to Margate; my family bore the journey wonderfully-and before we had been twenty-four hours at Benfon's, not a fingle complaint remained; the cough and all other fymptoms vanifhed. Wonderful proof of the falutary power of the.. fea air, and for which I hope I fhall always entertain a proper

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a proper refpect for watering-places, particularly Margate.

The month being expired, and no appearance of complaint remaining, I propofed to return home; but my wife and daughters reprefented the dangers of a relapfe in fuch frightful colours, that I was prevailed upon to stay another fortnight; and that over, we set out for town. The expenfe of this wonderful cure, however, was fo very confiderable, that I heartily prayed we might never be afflicted beyond the reach of London doctors and apothecaries, whofe fees and bribes were nothing to what I paid at the watering-place.

During the remainder of the year, and the whole winter and fpring following, namely, to June 1800, my family enjoyed perfect health; but, alas! one day in that fatal month, they were all seized with the old complaints, attended with the fame fingular symptoms relating to myself, as before mentioned. The doctor was fent for again. The doctor prescribed a repetatur of the fame medicine, and fix weeks more at Margate completed the cure a fecond time. A whole apothecary's fhop would not have coft the price of this fecond

cure.

Health, however, returned, and continued again until last June, when our diseases recommenced with uncommon violence. But experience having given me now a little infight into this annual diforder, I am determined to follow the doctor's prefcription. My familyfhall fwallow his powders, his bolufes, his pills, his juleps, his electuaries, and his potions; but I cannot afford to pay for fuch materia medica as raffles, fine lodgings, balls, whift-tables, and Dandelion dances.

But, alas! what is the refolution of man? My wife and children, particularly the girls, have become worfe and worse every day: the cough tears their lungs; the fmoke of London is more offenfive now than ever; and, in a word, it fhocks me to enter my own dining-room,

where

where my dinner is fpoiled every day by the moving. accounts I hear of family diseases, all of which are imputed to my obstinacy in not permitting them to vifit Margate in the courfe of the laft fummer. To put an end to domeftic complaints for the prefent, I have promised that they fhall vifit Margate next year; though, in the prefent perilous times, I am fure the profits of my trade will hardly be adequate to the expenses of the journey. Thus circumftanced, let me beg from you, or fome of your correfpondents, advice how to regulate my conduct. I am, dear Mr. Editor,

Yours truly,

TITUS DRIPPING,

IN

FASHIONABLE FAIRS.

[From the Morning Poft.].

N Piccadilly, at the Dutchefs's, dancers have been plentiful, and they went off very well.

Tattlers were in great requeft; but fpectators hung. very heavily on the market.

Nobles have been much wanted at Mrs. M-'s, and' Mrs. Th-'s. The fear of a stoppage being put to the importation of them from Ireland has greatly heightened the demand.

There is a great fcarcity of patriots in Weftminster,. moft of them having been bought up by certain great monopolizers. At Weftminfter Hall, however, tongues never were in greater abundance, nor fees more rare.

Characters are in general request all over London ; but those for the city must be very different from those for the weft end of the town.

Pigeons are extremely scarce at the weft end of the town, and those that come to market are poor and of

little