which God designed in the creation of the woman.

"It is not good," saith he, "for man to be alone: I will make him an help meet for him." And undoubtedly man was intended to give, as well as to receive help. This helpful fidelity consists in their mutual care to abstain from and prevent whatever might grieve or hurt either: and to do themselves, and to incite others to do, whatever might comfort or benefit either. And this must extend to the soul, the body, the name, and the estate.

4. First, to the souls, by provoking each other on all occasions to inward and outward holiness. The husband must further the wife in all goodness, and the wife the husband: for she has also liberty to stir up her husband, by intreaty and fair means. And as they have special opportunity, so they should be always ready, with special diligence, to provoke one another to love and good works." O how sweet is the society when they thus watch all occasions to further each other in godliness. Again, being continually together, they may discover in each other divers corruptions and imperfections. They must not turn these into matter of contempt, but of compassion and care for each other's reformation. They should observe each other's temper, till they perceive what infirmities each is chiefly inclined to, and then diligently abstain from what may provoke that evil, and apply all means that may heal it. If all their labour does not avail, they must not fear to seek the help of some common friend, who possibly may effect that cure which themselves had endeavoured in vain. And if even this doth not succeed, still they must wait and pray, referring the matter to God, the only physician of the soul, who is able in due time to redress all.

5. The same faithful helpfulness they owe to the bodies of each other. They must shun all things that might cause sickness or pain to each other, and readily undergo any pains or cost, according to their power, to procure whatever is necessary either to keep or recover their health. They must comfort each other in the days of sorrow, that worldly sorrow work not death. The wife must be health to her

husband in his sickness: she must support his weakness, and he her's. Sickness and weakness are things which of themselves are hard enough to be borne. There needs not the addition of unkindness to make the burden heavier. Let every husband and wife avoid or mend this fault, and be particularly careful of their behaviour, at that time above all, when either is visited with grief, or weakness, or sickness. When your wife is sick or pained, then comfort her with loving words, and cheer her by a tender countenance. Then see that she want no looking to, no help which thou canst procure. When thy husband is sick or weak, then stay him with comfortable speech, revive him with diligent attendance. Do all thou canst to ease his pain, and to recover his strength. Let thy love and care be his best physic, and thyself his best physician. This is to be faithful to thy husband's body, and to "cherish him in sickness as in health."

6. In the third place, man and wife must be faithfully helpful to each other's names, and that in a double respect. In maintaining them both between themselves, and also among others. First, they must hold fast a good opinion of each other, so far as it may possibly stand with truth. Yea, it is no blame for them to have somewhat too good an opinion of each other for a man to think his wife not only more handsome, but more wise and good than she is; (making her virtues carry a greater show to the eye, by looking at them through the glass of love :) and for her to think him not only more proper, but more kind and good than he really is, by taking things with that largeness of good interpretation, which much love naturally puts upon them. Certainly then they should be peremptory to give no place to ungrounded, unwarranted surmises. They must on no account suffer their hearts to grow mistrustful of each other. All rash, illbuilt, hasty surmises, must be far from them. Otherwise love will go out at the same door at which suspicion came in. He or she that has a suspicious head, has not a truly loving heart. Such may be lustful or fond; but an holy, virtuous, spiritual affection they cannot have. So long as VOL. IX.

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they give way to evil surmisings, there is no place for this: and, therefore, of all domestic makebates, of all that breeds quarrels between married people, nothing in the world is more pestilently effectual to this bad end than jealousy. Having leavened the heart, it makes the speech tart and sharp, the countenance sour, and the whole behaviour distasteful. No good words, no good actions, or gestures, or looks, can proceed from a jealous heart. Jealousy will make one suck mischievous things out of his own finger's ends. Suffer not, therefore, this evil weed to grow up in the garden of matrimony; for no good herb will prosper by it; no praise worthy thing will flourish. Let all then that are married detest any thought of this kind that may arise. Let their hearts disdain to give the least credit, unless the proofs be more than manifest. Away then with this makebate, jealousy, this quarreller, suspicion, this breeder of brawls, this mother and nurse of contention, this underminer of love and of good husbandry, of all that should be profitable to an household. Away with it, I say, out of thine heart: chase it far from thy breast, from thy house. It is better to receive ten wrongs without suspecting, than to suspect one that is not received. Wherefore, as thou wouldst stand up for the good name of thy companion against the tongue of a slanderer, so stand for it against the dreams of thy own heart, against thy own slanderous imagination. And if any person will suffer his lips to be so ill employed as to become Satan's bellows, by blowing these coals betwixt you, by telling thee this or that, rebuke such a person, reject his words with detestation, flee his company, nor defile thy ears and heart, by giving gentle audience to a whisperer and tale-bearer. In a word, wouldst thou love or be loved? Wouldst thou live otherwise in marriage than as in a prison or dungeon? Then strengthen thy heart against all suspicion, and rather be any thing than jealous.

7. Ye must also be tender of each other's reputation abroad. This requireth two things: First, that each labour to conceal the weaknesses of the other, so far as it is possible, from all men. The husband must endeavour that none may

know of his wife's faults but himself: and the wife must do her best to keep her husband's faults from the knowledge of every creature. On the contrary, to publish each other's sins, is a monstrous treachery. To backbite an enemy is a sin; how much more to backbite one's own yoke-fellow? Whose faults can a man cover, if not his wife's, that is in effect his own? Or who can be free from reproach, if one so near as his wife deface his good name? It is impossible but man and wife must sooner or later discover their weaknesses to one another: and for them to be playing the tell-tale against each other, what soul does not lothe to think of it? If thou hast been so sinfully talkative before, now for shame lay thy hand upon thy mouth, that thou mayest no more incur the name of fool, by making thy tongue to spread abroad folly.

8. But besides this, you must faithfully keep each other's secrets. A man may have occasion to acquaint his wife with things he would not reveal to others; so a woman, to acquaint her husband. Now if in such cases a wife find that her husband has revealed what she intrusted him alone, or he find that she has revealed what he spoke to her in the confidence of love, this will breed such a distrust of the offending party, as will not easily be removed. Wherefore, let husbands and wives always mind this: if he lay up any thing in her breast, let him find it safe there, as in a chest, which cannot be opened by any pick-lock. If she commits a thing to his safe keeping, let it be imprisoned in his bosom : otherwise no man can choose but be strange to one whom experience has convinced of blabbing. And it is an infallible truth, that there is no comfortable living with one whom you cannot trust.

9. The last part of faithful helpfulness to each other, is that which concerns their estates. And to this end it is requisite, First, that all things be common between them, goods as well as persons: for if they make not a division in the greater, it is absurd to make it in the less. They should have one house and one purse: for they are one, and their estates should be one also. And having thus united

their fortunes, let them, Secondly, practise good husbandry therein. This implies three things, diligence in getting, prudence in saving, providence in foreseeing. These three, industry, frugality, and forecast, make up good husbandry. And if any of these are wanting, so much is wanting, to the perfection of it; and so much also will be wanting, for their comfort and prosperity.

CHAP. IV.

Of the Duties of the Married to their Family.

1. A Man and his Wife, who before were members of other families, join together that they may become the roots of a new family: wherein by training up their servants and children, they provide plants for God's vineyard, the Church. In this family the husband is the head; the wife is the next, as subordinate to him. They are both to maintain and govern their family. First, they must join in providing it with all necessaries, imitating herein the Father of this great family, the world, who fills every creature with good things fit for it. But they must govern as well as maintain their household; the man, as God's immediate officer, the woman, as an officer deputed by him, not equal, but subordinate: he, by the authority derived immediately from God; she, by authority derived from her husband.

2. The first point, in order to the due government of their family, is to educate their children well; more especially in their tender years. I cannot lay down a better method for this, than is laid down in a letter printed some years since; part of which is here subjoined.

"According to your desire, I have collected the principal rules I observed in educating my family. The children, (she had ten who came to man's estate, eight of whom were frequently at home together,) were put into a more regular method of living, in such things as they were capable of, from their birth, as in dressing, undressing, changing their