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lend it to him, when, in an instant, all the “ And what you get toder place ?" "Why I ten parsons pulled a corkscrew out of their get 4001.” • 1, massa, God Almighty pockets!
till he be blind from 4001. to 2001. you FORTUNATE Pux.-Sir William Daws, Arch- no go." bishop of York, was very fond of a pun. His PLEBEIAN HUMOUR. — When the King of clergy dining with him, for the first time after France fled from Paris, a boy wrote against he had lost his lady, he told then he feared the corner of the street in chalk,
« On est prie they did not find things in so good order as d'arreter un gros cochon qui s'enfuit. On en they used to be in the time of poor Mary; and sera dedommage de sos peines par un Louis." looking extremely sorrowful, added with a THE LATE MR. SHERIDAN. -- His father one deep sigh, “she was indeed Mare Pacifieum!” day descanting on the pedigree of his family, A Curate, who pretty well knew what she had was regretting that they were no longer styled bcen, called out,“ Aye my Lord, but she was O‘Skeniran, as they had been forinerly ;Mare Mortuum first." Sir William gave him “Indeed, father,” replied the late celebrated a living of 2001. per annum, within two months character, then a boy, we have more right afterwards.
to the O) than any one else—for we owe every POLITE INVITATION.-A convict who was body.” executed at Leicester, and adopted the singular mode of travelling in a post-chaise to the place of execution, was no less remarkable for his crimes, than a copious fund of low humour.
Criticism. He got the following notice put up in the most frequented houses in the town: “Wanted, an THE LATE M. G. Lewis, Esq. Lewis agreeable companion in a post-chaise, to go a came into life with unusual advantages, a journey of considerable length, and upon equal competence, sufficient rauk in society, and terms. Inquire for particulars at the Castle.” an understanding cultivated by education It is almost superfluous to mention, that upon and travel. If his talent was not of the first the terms being made known, the gentleman order, he had great dexterity in its applicacould not find a partner.
tion. If his taste was inferior to his talent, NAUTICAL PIETY.—A sailor having been for it was equal to the requisitions of his time. his good behaviour promoted from a fore-mast It was his fortune to come forward when all man to a boatswain, was ordered on shore by rivalry was past or unborn; the powerful his Captain to receive his Commission at the splendours which have since lightened over Admiralty Office. Jack went accordingly, and the whole region of poetry were then below thus described his reception afterwards to his the horizon, and his feeble and wandering companions: “I bore away large,” said he, fire was brilliance in the dimness of that
for the Admiralty Office; and on entering misty solitude. England had then no poet, the harbour I espied a dozen or two of quillo no dramatist, no novelist of distinction ; drivers: I hailed 'em;--not a word said they like our ancestors, in the day of distress, we Hollo!" again said I. Not a word said they: were forced to invoke the aid of the barba“Shiver my top-sails, but what can this mean," rians, and our literature was at once inupsaid I. “Then I took a guinea from my pocket, dated with the ferocious fantasies of Gerand holding it up to my peeper, « Hollo," many. Lewis was a leader in this northern again said 1. “Oh! Hollo," returned they. invasion, and he triumphed in the common
, So, so, my boys," cried 'T, "you are like degradation of the English Genius. But Balaan's ass, are you? You could not speak he had native claims ; his occasional tales until you saw the Angel!”.
had a vigour and a pathos new to our degeEQUANIMITY. — The celebrated Henderson nerate poetry. His first Drama of i'he was seldom known to be in a passion. When Castle Spectre was unequalled for dramatic at Oxford, he was one day debating with a artifice, and his first novel of The Monk, follow-student, who, getting out of temper, was the model of high-wrought language and threw a glass of wine in his face. Mr. Hen- seductive story to its tribe. But his first derson, applying his handkerchief, wiped him- celebrity, was his last. His setting was as self, and coolly said, " That, Sir, was a di- rapid as his rise. He had devoted the first gression ; now for the argument.”.
fruits of his mind to the propagation of evil, A CLERICAL Caul.- & certain divine, about and the whole long harvest was burnt up. to change his congregation, mentioned that As if a retributive judgment pressed upon subject from the pulpit. After service was over, bim, be struggled continually downwards; an old negro man who was one of his admirers, his efforts were perpetual, his failures were went up to him and desired to know the mo- unvaried; be rolled that eternal stone uptives of his leaving his first flock; the parson wards, and it was his punishment to be at answered, “ He had a call.” “l, massa, re- once urged to that cheerless labour, and turned the negro, “ who called you?"; “ God broken by seeing it all to be begun again; Almighty," answered the parson. “ I, massa, still he went down, till at last he perished he call ye?” “Yes, Jack, he called me'? into total obscurity. There is a moral in “ Massa, what you get here?" " I get 2001,” the life of this man, and it may be well for
his successors in popularity and vice, if they fore brought it back with the indignation of
TO MY BARN.*
By Dr. Walcot, the celebrated Peter Pindar. deadliest blow might be given on this naked and diseased sensibility. He has now passed To thee the wandering tribes were wont to rove, away, and it must be his happiest fate to be Each jovial Gipsy with his merry inate, forgotten.
With dark futurity quite hand in glove,
Fore:elling, for a penny, folks their fate.
To thee, through wind and rain, the good King
Patch,+ piece, about twenty years ago, was translat
To get a warm straw-bed, was known to trudge ed into French, and performed with success
it at Paris It was translated also about forty of simple Knights, who never made a batch, years back, by Mr. Adam Hallam, an uncle Nor drain'd his people's purses by a Budget. of Mrs. Mattocks, the actress. Hallam was a performer of some reputation, who be- Where are the tribes that worshipp'd not his longed to Covent Garden Theatre, a man
King Patch, what music to a Gipsy's ear!
Or reads his dying speech without a tear!
* The Poet had previoasly addressed two Odes deserts, let the hero be hanged.
to his Barn, but had taken no notice of its fre
Hallam, however, would not suffer the work of an
quent tenants the Gipsies. Theselines are among
many fugitive pieces of the Author and were never admired English Poet to undergo any change before printed. but that of a mere translation, and there. + The designation of one of the Gipsy Sore
In thee the Royal Bampfylde,+ many a time,
ON JUSTICE. Enjoy'd his feast and dance and sunk to sleep,
Poor Justice never well could see; Who, like Ulysses, roam'd from clime to clime
She's old-there's now no hope to mend her! In search of wisdom, on the land and deep.
For she examines the degree, By Slander, parent of the blackest lies,
Not of the offence—but the offender.
found, Pleas'd have I seen this celebrated King,
In learning and science so greatly abound, With brighter talents than most Monarchş born; When all carry thither a little each day, Pleas'd have I heard him Chase of Cheviot sing,
And we meet with so few who bring any away. And Robin Hood, and wind his bugle horn.
INS AND OUTS.
Tax'd are the Gipsies too, by foul-mouth'd Slan- In promise rich, but poor in pay,
In the King's Bench a Talent lay; With taking, but without the grace to puy,
•Why, In?” cries Colin Clout. Pig, fowl, duck, turkey, gosling, goose, and
His visions fled-his fortunes crost, gander, Their fingers fish-books, angling ev'ry day,
Broad-bottom answer'd—“Borough lost,
“ I'm in-bocause I'm out." Say, Truth, if ever once a Gipsy stole
“Oh! spare me, dear Angel, one lock of your
A bashful young lover took courage and sigh'd; I, too, have felt the force of Slander's tongue,
“ 'Twere a sin to refuse you so modest a prayer;
“So take my whole wig," the sweet creature While Hawkins yields a plaudit to my song,
replied. The snakes of Envy hiss in vain at Peter.
THE CERTAINTY. Thus liave I dar'd defend an injur'd race,
Call’d by a wicked world a thieving crew; A drunken old Scot, by the rigorous sentence Here let not justice blush to shew her face, Of Kirk, was condemnd to tho stool of repenWhat says the Proverb –“Give the Dey'l his
Mess John to his conscience his vices laid home, Farewell, my Barn! should man thy frame destroy, And his danger in this and the world that's to
May birds of darkness on his roof alight, Owls break his slumbers with portentous cry,
** Thou reprobate mortal! why, dost thou not
know, And groans of Gipsy-ghosts his soul affright!
•Where, after you're dead, all you drunkards # The celebrated Bampfylde Moore Carew, well
must go ?"known to the Author in early life.
“Must go, when we're dead, Sir? why, faith,
you may fear Epigrams.
“ We shall go, one and all, where we find the
When WILLIAM Pırt, went to the grave,
For his and our répose,
His mantle he to CANNING gave,
His walking-stick to Rose.
Satiric rogue! he knew his men;
And thought some clumsy joke,
How much he'd want a cloak!
QUESTION AND ANSWER.
By Justice tutorid, and by love inspir’d,
To hail, in worth, whate'er the heart desir'd, “Can you, by any means, the cause divine,
To mark, in talents, all that sense cou'd bind, ** That U and I, together ne'er can dine ?"
By Nature's mandate, on the fruitful mind, “O) yes, the reason all must plainly see,
Shall we the sacred debt to him evade, • Who know, that U can't come 'till after T.”
That earth awarded, but that Heav'n has paid ! A. Y.
Ah, no, AFFECTION's hand, with holy skill, ERECTION OF CHURCHES.
A People's wish shall here, too soon, fulfil
Erect the tomb that ev'ry thought endears, Our Rulers still anxious for Joux Bull's enjoy- Adorn by silence, and inscribe with tears, mant,
When future Times, in heated zeal to cope Propose this decree, Father Moses to lurch ; Six days shalt thou pine, without food or employ
With all that praise could feel, or pride can hope,
From latent worth shall bring its brightest store, ment,
To rival him whoin all his race deplore, And march on the seventh desoutly to Church.
The godlike name shall blaze on VIRTUE's shrine, ON THE SAME.
Till when, oh, Romilly, we'll weep at thine.
E, N. BELLCHAMBERS.
IN GRANTHAM CHURCH-YARD.
John Palfreyman, who is buried here,
Was aged four and twenty year;
And near this place his mother lies,
Likewise his father-when he dies.
All these were his--Oh thou who read'st this Human power, absorb'd deficient, to delineate stone,
such Effulgent Lasting Sparks, When for thyself, thy children, to the sky, Where honest Plebeians ever will have presi
Thou humbly prayest, ask this boon alone, dence o'er ambiguous Great Monarchs. That ye like him may live, like lıim may dic.
Fragment. In Newington Church, Oxforushire, composed by dir. WALLER, in the year 1686, and not
THE MAN OF GENIUS. inserted in any Edition of his Works..
***** Tom Gradus arrived in London in Ox HENRY DUNCH, Esq.
a stage-coach, assured that the metropolis
was the soil for genius to flourish in, where Here lies the prop and glory of his race,
every door would fly open ;--in this persuaWho, that no time his memory may desaec, sion also, his friends had only furnished him Hiis grateful Wife, under this speaking stone,
with cash sufficient to bear his expenses this His ashes laid, to make his merit known.
ther.--He slept the first night at an inn, to
consider how best to make choice of the most Sprung from an opulent and worthy line, Whose well us'd fortune made their virtue shine,
favourable patronage.--He first imparted his
business and qualifications to a plain tradesA rich example his fair life did give,
man, whom he accidentally met at the inn, How others should with their relations live, who told him that his rich neighbour, Mr. A pious son, a husband, and a friend,
Pulley, who had made a fortune by inventTo neighbours too his bounty did extend ing whirligig chairs, and other mechanical So far, that they lamented when he died,
articles, was the greatest genius in the world, and encouraged all such.
The next mornAs if all to him had been near allied.
ing Tom waited on Mr. Pulley, —“I His curious youth would inen and manners know,
loves all men of genius (says he); come, Which made him to the southern Nations go.
give me your opinion of this lever, with Nearer the Sun, tho' they more civil seem, which I meau to lift a carriage across the Revengo and luxury have their esteem;
street, on crowded opera nights."-Tom Which well observing, he return'd with more
shook his head and disclaimed any particuValue for England than he had before;
lar knowledge of the lever.—“ Not know
the lever !" roared out Pulley; "a man of Her true Religion, and her Statutes too,
genius not know the lever !-Why, you're He practised not less, than seek'd to know; an iinpostor !--A man of genius! ha! ha! and the whole Country grieved for their ill fate, ha !"--Tom returned somewhat disappointTo lose so good, so just a Magistrate;
ed to his inn, where he found a Baronet of To shed a tear may Readers be inclin'd,
high fame on the turf :- My lad,” said he
to Tom, “ the landlord tells me that you And pray for one he only left behind;
are a man of genius.—I'm glad of it, cross Till she, who does inherit his estate,
me: for I have not met with one since the May virtue love like him, and vices hate. death of Carroty Bob, my training groom ;
- distance me if I have-Come and see my
Arabian mare, and tell me her speed and her The following is copied from a head-stone
paces; come!"—“I know nothing about set up in the church-yard of Higlı Ercall.
horses," says Tom, having never rode three in my life.”—
-"Not rode three in your Those who are fond of the sublime, will certainly, rejoice over this precious poetical me, if I had you at home, but I would
life, and set up for a man of genius : Spavin morsel :
couple you with mangy Scamp, my old Salop, Oct. 1797.
fox-hound, for being such a cheat.” ELIZABETH the Wife of RICHARD BAARLAMB, He was soon afterwards informed, that a passed to Eternity on Sunday, the 21st of May, person who could invent was wanted by the 1797, in the 71st year of her age.
most noble the Pic Nic Society. Tom When terrestrial all in Chaos shall Exhibit effer- hoped to be at length suited, by having to
deal with the upper and polished ranks of vescence,
mankind: he applied, and found that they Then Celestial virtues in their most Refulgent Brii- wanted a person who could invent-new
figures for coloured lamps-and could imShall with beaming Beauteous Radiance, thro' the prove on the Egyptian rouge-mange, and
Corunna custard, just started - The man of ebullition Shine;
invention retired with a sigh, confessing Transcending to Glorious Regions Beatifical, Sub- that he knew nothing of the effect of the lime.
lamp-oil or custard !