MEMOIRS.

CHAPTER I.

My parentage, and other particulars till my father's removal to New York, &c.

My ancestors were of Jewish origin. My father, David Marks, 2d. was the eldest son of David Marks, 1st. of Burlington, Hartford county, Ct. who was a grandson of Mordecai Marks, a Jew. My mother, Rosanna Merriman, eldest daughter of Chauncey Merriman, of Southington, in the same county, was married to my father at the commencement of the year 1800. They were both members of the Calvinistic Baptist church. After residing in Burlington for five years following their marriage, they removed to the town of Shendaken, Ulster county, N. Y. In the latter town, I was born Nov. 4, 1805. I was the fourth child. One, a daughter, died before my birth at the age of ten months. At this time my mother remarked, with much confidence, that my life would be short. "For," said she, "I believe God, by his Holy Spirit, has impressed it on my mind, that the child shall live before him, as did Samuel anciently; and that in early life the Lord will set him for the defence of the gospel, and call him to do a great, but a short work in the earth." When one year had passed, the dropsy in the head, considered by physicians incurable, came near terminating my mortal existence. My mother's faith was then shaken in what she had asserted on the day of my birth; but God blessed the use of means, and from the gate of death restored me to health.

One of the first occurrences printed in my recollection, is family prayer. As early as I was susceptible of instruction and capable of reflection, the truth, that all must die and appear before God,

to account for their actions, was solemnly impressed on my mind. At the age of four years, a sense of death and judgment caused awful feelings to pervade my soul; particularly one day, when I was alone amusing myself with burning the tow of flax; the dreadful agony of the wicked in hell, represented in the word of God by burning with unquenchable fire was instantly brought to mind. Looking into the flame, I thought how exceedingly dreadful even one moment would be in this fierce burning; then turning my eyes toward the heavens I said within myself, how will my soul endure, if yet in sin, at the great judgment day, when God shall appear, and set the world on fire? Finally, I concluded that I would descend into a well when that period should arrive, and going immediately to my mother, told her my resolution. "Ah, my son," said she," the water will boil, and the earth will burn." Another expedient was suggested. I thought I would hew out a place of retreat in a rock, and there hide myself, closing the entrance. On naming this, she replied, "but the rocks will melt." My sorrows increased; but on reflection I hoped ere that time should come, life might be ended, and my body buried in the earth; so, telling my mother, I hoped by this to escape, she said, "My child, your hope is vain; for the dead will awake and come out of their graves." My last expedient it now appeared would fail; and, retiring to a field, my anguish became great, while reflecting that my parents were Christians but I was a sinner; tears flowed profusely, and putting my hand on my bosom, I cast my eyes toward heaven, and said, "God be merciful to me a sinner." Now existence was a burden; the burning of the tow recurred to mind, and I earnestly wished that I was something inanimate, even if it were tow, that I might not feel the vengeance that would fall upon the wicked. Once as my mother laid me down to rest, she said, "soon my son you will exchange the bed for the grave, and your clothes for a winding sheet." Often, after this, when I lay down at night, my bed reminded me of the grave, and the sheets of the grave apparel. About this time, Jeremiah, my eldest brother, then eight years of age, was converted to God, and publicly professed faith in the Redeemer. Serious thoughts of death and judgment continued to exercise my infant powers.

Very solemn feelings were excited in my mind at the age of four years and seven months, by seeing our house wrapped in flames. When the fire was discovered, my parents were at the house of worship, two miles distant, having left me at home with my two elder brothers, Jeremiah and Friend. One of my brothers immediately ran to the meeting, the other to the neighbor's house for assistance. Being much alarmed, I fled, unperceived, with all possible haste to the adjacent wood, thinking of nothing but to es

cape the devouring flame. I reached the place of retreat; but while looking on the trees, the recollection of having seen fire spread rapidly in the forest, filled me with fresh alarm. The leaves were just put forth, and, though green, the expectation that they too would burn, and the fire be communicated to them by the adjacent fences, induced me to resume my flight. In the meantime, the assembly with my parents had resorted to the flames, and immediately the anxious inquiry was made, "Where is David?" He was not to be found. No one had seen him. An awful thought rushed upon their minds-the flames must have consumed him! My mother, recollecting her former impressions concerning my future life, in anguish of soul, cried out, "O Lord, thou hast deceived me, and I was deceived;" and immediately swooning, she fell to the ground. A thought that the child might yet be alive, induced some of the assembly to search for me; while others endeavored to extinguish the flames, expecting to discover my bones. In my wandering, a path appeared, and, deeming the opposite side more safe, as it presented an obstacle to the fire, I quickly passed it, and had followed its windings more than a mile, when one of the company discovered the object of their search. "Your father wishes to see you," said he, and taking me up, carried me, till we came within sight of the smoking ruins of my native home. The people were still employed in throwing water; but, on seeing us, they desisted, and my father, with feelings more easily imagined than described, met us, and, clasping me in his arms, said, "My son, my son, are you yet alive?" kissed me and carried me to my mother. She soon recovered from her swoon. Her faith revived-and rejoicing with great joy, they said, "The dead is alive, the lost is found."

By this, and other misfortunes, my father lost nearly all his property, and soon after returned to Connecticut, where he resided in the towns of Bristol and Plymouth more than four years. During two years of this time, Jeremiah often led brother Friend and myself to the chamber, barn, or field; and there talked to us of eternity, taught us to pray and seek after the Lord. While enjoying these opportunities, my heart was tenderly affected, and serious impressions deepened. But a painful scene quickly fol

lowed.

My father journeyed to the western part of New York. Immediately after his departure, Jeremiah was severely wounded in the foot with an axe; and after a confinement of several weeks, an attack of the typhus fever brought wearisome days, lonely nights, and caused his flesh to waste away. Six days before his death, I went to live with my uncle Marks in Burlington, to attend school. Jan. 2, 1813, after my return from school, my uncle told

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me that my brother was dead. The day before he sat up several hours, wrote some, and said he thought he should recover; but in the evening the scene changed. Death had marked him for a victim; and while the sun of life was sitting, he said to my mother, who was alone with him, "I am dying." Immediately she blew a trumpet, to call assistance; then taking him in her arms, he said, "O that I could see papa once more; but I never shall in this world." Deacon Ward, a neighbor, came in, having heard the alarm. Being much distressed, Jeremiah said, "My pain of body is very great," and once added he wished that he was dead but immediately recalled it, saying, "I am wrong; but if it were the will of God, I should be glad to be out of pain." He made affecting remarks concerning his death, and a short time before he expired, said, "O, I fear Friend and David will run a wicked race." After conversing an hour and a half very calmly, he was laid on the bed, and then folding his hands on his bosom, he looked steadfastly towards heaven. They had now thought he would never speak again, when he distinctly said, "Lord Jesus, may I be with thee;" and without a groan or struggle, in one minute and a half, his pulse ceased to beat, and his spirit took flight to that land whence there is no return. Dea. Ward remarked, that he had often been called to attend on death-bed scenes for forty years, but had never witnessed one so much composed as this. Jeremiah was eleven years and six months of age, more than four years older than myself. His body was laid in the grave, the top of which was covered till my father should return. His death greatly affected me, for I loved him tenderly; and when his dying words, "I fear they will run a wicked race," recurred, I felt and mourned my loss. No longer could I hear his pious warnings, his af

fectionate counsel, and never again would he instruct me to call on the name of the Lord. About two months after this, my father having returned, his body was taken up, carried into the meeting house, and a sermon delivered. Having heard of instances of burial in cases of fits, and that when taken from the earth such had been revived, my childish heart beat high, when I thought it might be thus with my brother. But as the coffin lid was raised, all my hope vanished, and my sorrow returned. That face, once blooming in health, was now covered with mould, and those eyes, once innocently beaming with affection, were now sunk in their sockets.

A deep sense of my own mortality pervaded my soul, and afterward I frequently addressed the throne of grace. But not clearly discerning the things of the kingdom, I often joined in folly with my juvenile companions, by which the Spirit of God was grieved, and my convictions in some measure effaced.