Our project's life this shape of sense assumes,- Now I begin to relish thy advice; And I will give a taste of it forthwith To Agamemnon; go we to him straight. [Exeunt. ACT II.2 SCENE I. Another Part of the Grecian Camp. Enter AJAX and THERSITES. Ajax. Thersites, Ther. Agamemnon-how if he had boils? full, all over generally? Ajax. Thersites, Ther. And those boils did run ?-Say so,-did not the general run then? were not that a botchy core? Ajax. Dog, Ther. Then would come some matter from him; I see none now. Ajax. Thou bitch-wolf's son, canst thou not hear? Feel, then. [Strikes him. Ther. The plague of Greece upon thee, thou mongrel, beef-witted lord!" Ajax. Speak, then, thou unsalted leaven,5 speak! I will beat thee into handsomeness. 1 i. e. urge, stimulate. See King John, Act iv. Sc. 1. 2 This play is not divided into acts in any of the original editions. 3 Alluding to the plague sent by Apollo on the Grecian army. 4 He calls Ajax mongrel, on account of his father being a Grecian and his mother a Trojan. 5 The folio has "thou whinid'st leaven," a corruption, undoubtedly, of vinewd'st or vinniedst, i. e. mouldy leaven. Thou unsalted leaven, is as much as to say, "thou foolish lump." Ther. I shall sooner rail thee into wit and holiness; but, I think, thy horse will sooner con an oration, than thou learn a prayer without book. Thou canst strike, canst thou? a red murrain1 o'thy jade's tricks! Ajax. Toads-stool, learn me the proclamation. Ther. Dost thou think I have no sense, thou strikest me thus ? Ajax. The proclamation, Ther. Thou art proclaimed a fool, I think. Ajax. Do not, porcupine, do not: my fingers itch. Ther. I would thou didst itch from head to foot, and I had the scratching of thee; I would make thee the loathsomest scab in Greece. When thou art forth in the incursions, thou strikest as slow as another. Ajax. I say, the proclamation, Ther. Thou grumblest and railest every hour on Achilles; and thou art as full of envy at his greatness, as Cerberus is at Proserpina's beauty, ay, that thou barkest at him. Ajax. Mistress Thersites! Ther. Thou shouldst strike him. Ther. He would pun3 thee into shivers with his fist, as a sailor breaks a biscuit. Ajax. You whoreson cur! Ther. Do, do. Ajax. Thou stool for a witch! 4 [Beating him. Ther. Ay, do, do; thou sodden-witted lord! thou hast no more brain than I have in mine elbows: an assinico may tutor thee. Thou scurvy-valiant ass! thou art here put to thrash Trojans; and thou art bought and sold among those of any wit, like a Barbarian slave. If thou use to beat me, I will begin at 1 In The Tempest, Caliban says, "The red plague rid you." 2 Cobloaf is, perhaps, equivalent to ill-shapen-lump. Minsheu says, a cobloaf is a little loaf made with a round head, such as cobirons which support the fire. 3 i. e. pound; still in use provincially. 4 From the Spanish asnico, a young or little ass; a word, indeed, entirely similar in sound, which seems to have been adopted into our language to signify a silly ass, a stupid fellow. thy heel, and tell what thou art by inches, thou thing of no bowels, thou! Ajax. You dog! Ther. You scurvy lord! Ajax. You cur! [Beating him. Ther. Mars his idiot! do rudeness; do, camel; do, do. Enter ACHILLES and PATROCLUS. you thus ? Achil. Why, how now, Ajax? wherefore do you -How now, Thersites? what's the matter, man? Ther. You see him there, do you? Achil. Ay; what's the matter? Achil. So I do; what's the matter? Ther. Nay, but regard him well. Ther. But yet you look not well upon him; for whosoever you take him to be, he is Ajax. Achil. I know that, fool. Ther. Ay, but that fool knows not himself. Ther. Lo, lo, lo, lo, what modicums of wit he utters! His evasions have ears thus long. I have bobbed his brain, more than he has beat my bones; I will buy nine sparrows for a penny, and his pia mater is not worth the ninth part of a sparrow. This lord, Achilles, Ajax,-who wears his wit in his belly, and his guts in his head,-I'll tell you what I say of him. Achil. What? Ther. I say, this Ajax Achil. Nay, good Ajax. [AJAX offers to strike him, ACHILLES Ther. Has not so much wit Achil. Nay, I must hold you. interposes. Ther. As will stop the eye of Helen's needle, for whom he comes to fight. Achil. Peace, fool! Ther. I would have peace and quietness, but the fool will not; he there; that he; look you there. Ajax. O thou damned cur! I shall Achil. Will you set your wit to a fool's? Ther. No, I warrant you; for a fool's will shame it. Patr. Good words, Thersites. Achil. What's the quarrel? Ajax. I bade the vile owl go learn me the tenor of the proclamation, and he rails upon me. Ther. I serve thee not. Ajax. Well, go to, go to. Ther. I serve here voluntary. Achil. Your last service was sufferance, 'twas not voluntary; no man is beaten voluntary; Ajax was here the voluntary, and you as under an impress. Ther. Even so?-A great deal of your wit too lies in your sinews, or else there be liars. Hector shall have a great catch, if he knock out either of your brains; 'a were as good crack a fusty nut with no kernel. Achil. What, with me too, Thersites ? Ther. There's Ulysses, and old Nestor,-whose wit was mouldy ere your grandsires had nails on their toes,yoke you like draught oxen, and make you plough up the wars. Achil. What, what? Ther. Yes, good sooth. To, Achilles! to, Ajax! to! Ajax. I shall cut out your tongue. Ther. 'Tis no matter; I shall speak as much as thou, afterwards. Patr. No more words, Thersites; peace. Ther. I will hold my peace when Achilles' brach1 bids me, shall I ? Achil. There's for you, Patroclus. Ther. I will see you hanged, like clotpoles, ere I come any more to your tents; I will keep where there is wit stirring, and leave the faction of fools. [Exit. 1 Both the old copies read brooch, which may be right; for we find monile and bulla in the dictionaries interpreted "a bosse, an hart; a brooch, or jewell of a round compasse to hang about ones neck." The term brach was suggested by Rowe, and is a mannerly name for all hound-bitches." Patr. A good riddance. Achil. Marry, this, sir, is proclaimed through all our host; That Hector, by the first hour of the sun, Will, with a trumpet, 'twixt our tents and Troy, Farewell. Ajax. O, meaning you ;-I'll go learn more of it. [Exeunt. SCENE II. Troy. A Room, in Priam's Palace. Enter PRIAM, HECTOR, TROILUS, PARIS, and HElenus. Pri. After so many hours, lives, speeches spent, Thus once again says Nestor from the Greeks; Deliver Helen, and all damage else— As honor, loss of time, travel, expense, Wounds, friends, and what else dear that is consumed Shall be struck off-Hector, what say you to't? Dread Priam, There is no lady of more softer bowels, More ready to cry out-Who knows what follows? 1 Disme is properly tenths or tithes; but dismes is here used for tens. |