Nor evil counsellors to bring
To justice, that seduce the King, Nor for the worship of us men,
Though we have done as much for them, Th' Egyptians worshipp'd dogs, and for Their faith made internecine war : Others ador'd a rat, and some
For that church suffer'd martyrdom; The Indians fought for the truth Of th' elephant and monkey's tooth; And many, to defend that faith, Fought it out mordicus to death: But no beast ever was so slight For man, as for his God, to fight. They have more wit, alas! and know Themselves and us better than so,` But we, who only do infuse
The rage in them like boute-feus; 'Tis our example that instills In them th' infection of our ills. For, as some late philosophers
Have well observ'd, beasts that converse With man, take after him, as hogs Get pigs all th' year, and bitches dogs; Just so, by our example, cattle
Learn to give one another battle.
We read in Nero's time, the Heathen,
When they destroy'd the Christian brethren, They sew'd them in the skins of bears,
And then set dogs about their ears:
From thence no doubt th' invention came Of this lew'd antichristian game.
To this, quoth Ralpho, verily, The point seems very plain to me. It is an antichristian game, Unlawful both in thing and name.
First, for the name, the word Bear-baiting Is carnal, and of man's creating : For certainly there's no such word In all the scripture on record, Therefore unlawful, and a sin; And so is (secondly) the thing. A vile assembly 'tis, that can No more be prov'd by Scripture, than Provincial, classic, national,
Mere human creature cobwebs all.
Thirdly, it is idolatrous,
For men when men run a-whoring thus With their inventions, whatsoe'er The thing be, whether dog or bear, It is idolatrous and Pagan,
No less than worshipping of Dagon. Quoth Hudibras, I smell a rat; Ralpho, thou dost prevaricate;
For though the thesis which thou lay'st Be true ad amussim, as thou say'st; (For that bear-baiting should appear Jure divino law fuller
Than synods are, thou dost deny, Totidem verbis, so do I:) Yet there's a fallacy in this; For if by sly homœosis, Tussis pro crepitu, an art Under a cough to slur a f―t, Thou would'st sophistically imply, Both are unlawful, I deny.
And I, quoth Ralpho, do not doubt But bear-baiting may be made out, In gospel-times, as lawful as is Provincial or parochial classis; And that both are so near of kin, And like in all, as well as sin,
That put 'em in a bag, and shake 'em, Yourself o' the sudden would mistake ein, And not know which is which uniess You measure by their wickedness: For 'tis not hard t' imagine whether O' th' two is worst, though I name neither. Quoth Hudibras, Thou offer'st much, But art not able to keep touch. Mira de lente, as 'tis i' th' adage, Id est, to make a leek a cabbage; Thou'lt be at best but such a bull, Or shear swine, all cry, and no wool; For what can synods have at all. With bear that's analogical? Or what relation has debating
Of church-affairs with bear-baiting? A just comparison still is
Of things ejusdem generis. And then what genus rightly doth
Include and comprehend them both?
If animal, both of us may As justly pass for bears as they ; For we are animals no less, Although of diff'rent specieses. But, Ralpho, this is not fit place, Nor time to argue out the case: For now the field is not far off, Where we must give the world a proof Of deeds, not words, and such as suit Another manner of dispute; A controversy that affords
Actions for arguments, not words : Which we must manage at a rate Of prowess and conduct adeqate To what our place and fame doth promise, And all the godly expect from us. Nor shall they be deceiv'd, unless We're slurr'd and outed by success: Success, the mark no mortal wit, Or surest hand, can always hit: For whatsoe'er we perpetrate, We do but row, we're steer'd by Fate, Which in success oft disinherits, For spurious causes, noblest merits. Great actions are not always true sons Of great and mighty resolutions, Nor do th' boldest attempts bring forth Events still equal to their worth: But sometimes fail, and in their stead Fortune and cowardice succeed. Yet we have no great cause to doubt, Our actions still have borne us out :
Which, though they're known to be so amp.e, We need not copy from example; We're not the only persons durst Attempt this province, nor the first. In northern clime a val'rous knight Did whilom kill his bear in fight, And wound a fiddler: we have both Of these the objects of our worth, And equal fame and glory from Th' attempt of victory to come. 'Tis sung, there is a valiant Mamaluke In foreign land, yclep'd-
To whom we have been oft compar'd For person, parts, address, and beard;
Both equally reputed stout,
And in the same cause both have fought; He oft in such attempts as these Came off with glory and success ; Nor will we fail in th' execution, For want of equal resolution. Honour is like a widow, won With brisk attempt and putting on, With ent'ring manfully, and urging, Not slow approaches, like a virgin. This said, as yerst the Phrygian knight, So ours, with rusty steel did smite His Trojan horse, and just as much; He mended pace upon the touch; But from his empty stomach groan'd, Just as that hollow beast did sound, And angry answer'd from behind, With brandish'd tail and blast of wind. So have I seen, with armed heel, A wight bestride a commonweal; While still the more he kick'd and sparr'd, The less the sullen iade has stirr'd.
Now turning from the wintry signs, the sun His course exalted through the Ram had ran, And whirling up the skies, his chariot drove Through Taurus, and the lightsome realms of love; Where Venus from her orb descends in show'rs
To glad the ground, and paint the fields with flow'rs: When first the tender blades of grass appear,
And buds, that yet the blast of Eurus fear,
Stand at the door of life, and doubt to clothe the year; Till gentle heat, and soft repeated rains,
Make the green blood to dance within their veins : Then, at their call, embolden'd out they come, And swell the gems, and burst the narrow room; Broader and broader yet, their blooms display, Salute the welcome sun, and entertain the day, Then from their breathing souls the sweets repair To scent the skies, and purge the' unwholesome air; Joy spreads the heart, and with a general song Spring issues out, and leads the jolly months along.
In that sweet season, as in bed I lay,
And sought in sleep to pass the night away, I turn'd my weary side, but still in vain,
Though full of youthful health, and void of pain : Cares I had none, to keep me from my rest, For love had never enter'd in my breast; I wanted nothing fortune could supply, Nor did she slumber till that hour deny.
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