CHAPTER XX.

1800-1805. REMAINED MOSTLY AT HOME DURING THIS PERIOD SEVERAL LETTERS WRITTEN ΤΟ FRIENDS IN ENGLAND, AND ALSO LETTERS ADDRESSED TO HIMSELF FROM FRIENDS IN DIFFERENT PARTS.

AFTER returning from England he remained mostly at his own residence until 1801, not being called to any religious service out of his native city, except an occasional visit to neighbouring Quarterly or other meetings. As he kept no memorandums during this period, little further is known respecting him than what is contained in the following extracts of letters, viz:

Addressed to a Friend in England.

66

Philadelphia, Eleventh Month 5th, 1800.

"MY DEAR FRIEND,

66

I trust the time had come for me to leave that land; and though I left my beloved friends at the pier-head with my heart full, yet the watery element was made easy to me; yes, more so than at one time I could believe. O! what fears dwelt on my mind at seasons on looking toward the ocean, with desires to be going when there was no clearance: then it was terrible indeed, as also when I thought of going as a prisoner to France, in such a sifted, tried condition. If I could hardly bear up amongst such feeling, sympathising friends as I had in England, I thought, what should I do amongst strangers, to be a prisoner spiritually and outwardly. All these cogitations and fears were removed; and though I had very humbling thoughts, and tossings of mind at times during the voyage, it was as prosperous as I could wish for. I landed at New York in forty-seven days from Liverpool, and met a kind reception in that place..... ....I had no

opportunity in the way of meetings during the voyage; I could not get at it. I was very poor; but before I left New York I went on board ship and had a full opportunity with mates, sailors, cabinboys and cook, altogether, to much satisfaction, and I have cause to believe they love me.....................

"And now I may tell thee, that the desire of my heart continues for thy preservation and advancement in the way everlasting. Put on the breast-plate of faith, and follow the Captain of thy salvation fully and perfectly. There is need to be girt about; and if I mistake not, there will yet be more need. O! it is a comfort to me to believe, to be assured thou art not of the company, nor in the least joined with those who are denying a crucified Saviour, and setting up something else instead. Keep down in the quiet habitation, and be willing to be baptised with the baptism of Christ, that so thy feet may be shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace, that thou may be able to travel through and over all the rough ways and stony places, that may yet be cast up for the proving of thy faith; so wilt thou honour the Lord with thy all, and in and through all, in being faithful to fulfil thy duty, not only at home in thy own particular meeting, but to know when to go forth in little services, and how to move and conduct in them. The Lord be near to thee in all, and guide thee safely through all that he may be pleased to permit thee to pass through, and give thee at last to sit down in the kingdom of peace and rest, and grant that our spirits may unite in bliss. I am comforted in observing one here and there of the female sex, under the polishing Hand, that are as plants sprung up since I have been away, bright and clear in testimony for the Truth, who have been moving about, and still continue to move, I trust as clouds waiting to be filled by him that seeth to the ends of the earth, and looketh under the whole heaven, to make the weight for the wind, and bringeth it out of his treasury . . . . O! what a spectacle I have been among you; what an exercised creature-what lonely walks have I had in fields and gardens! Was ever any one so before? Well, when I ponder and think, and it is very likely I have sometimes done too much at this, and I am striving to mend in this respect; I say, sometimes I query, whether I could wish it should have been otherwise, and hardly dare say I do. I am again amongst my own people, and pray to be sustained by a few crumbs from the bountiful table; and may tell thee, my friend, that I have been able to come at little further at times, both in meetings and out of them, than to breathe forth this mournful language; Have mercy on me, O Lord! and forgive all my weakness and infirmity, and blot out all my iniquities, and favour with a place amongst thy sons and daughters, for I feel myself an unworthy and unprofitable servant; and if all or any part of the deep sorrow I have passed through may stand in thy sight, it is all but little, and no more than a debt

due.' I have no other view in thus writing, than that perhaps it may give some relief, by a little vent to one who has oft seen me enclosed as in the pit, when the poor exile has been hastening not to die therein. What will be the amount of all this? I was deeply plunged before I offered to visit the miserable in London-not for days or weeks; long was it on my mind. Long was I troubled in walking London streets. The last exercise that I mentioned to Friends, was peculiarly singular; but I have felt quiet and easy about it, and sometimes have thought, that were I in London, it is so gone, that I should feel different. I love her inhabitants, and have been ready to say within myself since I got home, and thought and said so among you: Surely they are not the worst of people, there is much good; much that I love, and more that I admire.'....... ..Farewell, says one who prays thou may be kept and preserved in and through all states, which wisdom may see meet to permit, and remain thy affectionate friend, "THOMAS SCATTERGOOD."

The following is taken from a letter addressed to him, by his friend Ann Crowley, dated

66

Uxbridge, Eighth Month 13th, 1801.

"MY BELOVED FRIEND, THOMAS SCATTERGOOD,

"As much time has elapsed since thy departure from this land, it may seem rather unseasonable to remark the satisfaction and comfort we experienced in hearing of thy safe arrival on thy native shore, and that a portion of the blessed legacy given to the disciples of old, was vouchsafed at the winding up of thy arduous labour. Ah! my friend, I have not forgotten the many baptisms, the sore conflicts, which attended thy deeply exercised mind, while engaged in the Master's service on this side the Atlantic; they are profitably imprinted on my mind, and I trust, lessons of great instruction were learned by some of us, in reading thy example of silent suffering with the seed of the kingdom. What signifies how large a portion of suffering falls to our lot, while conflicting with the clogs of humanity, if, through all, we are but made useful in the furtherance of the work of the Lord in the hearts of his children; it is a blessed experience to know assuredly, the virtue and efficacy of that baptism, which crucifies the will of the creature, nails it to the cross, and reduces self, until it becomes of no reputation: here the Lord alone is glorified, his excellent name exalted, and his church edified. It is good for us frequently to know a being buried

with Christ in baptisms, in order that we may experience renewed qualification to preach his resurrection and life. If, in the wisdom of truth, it should be the lot of my endeared friend and father in the church, to be again plunged into many tribulations, let him keep in remembrance for his encouragement, that tribulation worketh patience, and patience experience, and experience hope, which maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in the heart. It is those that are willing to abide with their spiritual feet fixed on the bottom of Jordan until the Lord calls them forth, that are enabled to bring up stones of memorial to his praise. Let us then unitedly thank God, in that he has thought us worthy to suffer for his blessed cause of truth and righteousness sake. I write not thus from feeling a redundancy of good in my heart, or that it is a time of feasting; nay, verily, the Lord only knoweth the many trials, discouragements, and mournful exercises, that attend my mind; but I thought a cheering, animating language seemed due to thy feeling spirit; believing, without any manner of doubt, that thy deep conflicts will redound to the honour of God and thy own perfect purification; so that if true patience is suffered to have its perfect work, thou wilt most assuredly have to adopt the language of an eminent apostle, near the close of time, I have fought the good fight, I have kept the faith, I have finished my course; henceforth there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will give me at that day.' I never could let go the hope, that thou wouldest through all, be favoured to know thy bonds broken, and liberty proclaimed to return in safety to thy near kindred after the flesh, carrying sheaves of enriching peace with thee, which would be so manifested to thy fellow-believers, that they would have no room to doubt but thou had been employed in doing the Master's will; and my heart is made to rejoice in the persuasion that this was the case, and now solid satisfaction is thy blessed enjoyment. We have abundant cause to be thankful that our lot was cast amongst tender care-takers: but O! the want which I feel, of a real sense of true gratitude of heart, which ought to ascend to the Father and fountain of all good. As I believe thou art interested in our welfare, I may inform thee, that although we often sit in low places, experiencing the immortal spring of life to be exceedingly deep, and little ability to draw water out of the well of salvation; yet such is the condescending goodness of a gracious God, that he is pleased at seasons to own us by the fresh incomes of his life-giving presence, which melts the heart into humble contrition,

so that we have been unitedly enabled to say, the Lord is still remembering the very dust of Zion, and willing to satisfy all her poor with bread. I have not been out with a certificate since we parted with thee, but have attended some neighbouring Quarterly, Monthly and other Meetings, accompanied mostly by our mutually beloved friend John Hull, who I feel increasingly bound to, in the covenant of love and life, believing he is deepening in the immortal root of life. I feel much sympathy for him, knowing his baptisms to be many; but have no doubt, if he patiently abide under these conflicts, his bonds will yet be broken, and he will be enabled to come forth as gold seven times purified, fitted and prepared to declare of the Lord's wonders experienced in the deeps. I am about leaving home, once more to engage in the Master's service. O! the awfulness of such an engagement; how does the prospect frequently weigh down my spirit into fear and trembling, lest through any degree of unwatchfulness the work of the Lord should be marred. Beloved friend, let me beseech thee, when favoured to approach the throne of grace, to put up thy secret petition, that the blessing of preservation may be mine through all the remainder of my pilgrimage; that so the Lord's name may be glorified, and my peace established for ever."

Philadelphia, Eleventh Month 29th, 1801. "Thy letter, my beloved friend, came safely to hand a few days ago, and as the ship Rose is to sail in a few days for London, I was not easy to let slip the opportunity of telling thee so.

"I still feel interested in thy concerns, and felt a wish, when I read thy lines, and frequently since, that thou mayst witness preservation on the right ground; and shall I add, let patience have its perfect work. This is a great word for me in my present emptied state to adopt, or recommend to another; but I know that we all have need of patience, even after doing all that we see to be our duty, that we may receive the promise. Is it not enough to wait day by day for the unfoldings of required duty and be faithful. It is a great thing to be faithful, and manifest our allegiance even in the fire. There is many a pang of conflict to be passed through, previous to going forth into a fresh field of labour. The vision may be for an appointed time, and this must be waited for some by over anxiety, have, it is to be feared, even dared to hasten, or strive to hasten. I am ready to say, why write I thus? I had little or nothing to make a beginning with, and even this day, such has been my reduced state, that I was