เ

be fed with different food from the panting, bleating sheep. Alas! alas! how many there are of the first description, not only under our name, but amongst the people at large, although the Judge appears to be so near the door. Well, dear friend, amid all which we may have to wade through for the Lord's sake, I think I see, and hope I am not deceived, that the strength of Israel is yet with his people, and that the declaration of the prophet will be more fully brought to pass; The Lord will comfort Zion: he will comfort all her waste places; he will make her wilderness like Eden, and her desert as the garden of the Lord: joy and gladness shall be found therein, thanksgiving and the voice of melody.' There are precious plants, even little children, in this city, who, by keeping faithful to the Lord, will in due time have this song, or one similar to it, to sing. The Lord is blessing Zion; but O! how poor and desolate she sits in this great city: are not her sons found slain at the head of every street? And for this I have mourned. I might enlarge, but this is enough, perhaps, to show thee where my dwelling-place has often been for months past."

He continued engaged in. visiting the families of Devonshire House Monthly Meeting until the 17th. In this visit he had often to commemorate the goodness of his Divine Master, for furnishing him with ability to speak to the conditions of those he visited; as well as for the enriching reward of peace, graciously vouchsafed in fulfilling the duty.

"Third Month 18th.--To Peel Monthly Meeting, and was silent in the fore part. Ann Christy opened her concern to visit families, and I waited to know my Divine Master's will concerning me, but was quite shut up, although I attended with some little prospect of moving in a like concern.

"19th. This morning I took coach and went to Ratcliff Monthly Meeting, in the fore part of which I sat in a state of poverty; but before the meeting ended felt an opening to speak to an exercised state present. Went home with Joseph Smith; all my prospects seem gone again. Am I not indeed an unprofitable servant? It is well if I can say I have done all, and as it should be done. I am a poor creature, yet am favoured to feel pretty quiet and resigned. I desire to be a devoted servant.

"22nd.-To Tottenham meeting, and although I thought but little more of this turn into the country than that it was pleasant to accompany an elder sister, and get a little country air; yet on the road my mind was impressed with a sense of the uncertainty

of time, and the dreadfulness of being taken in the midst of worldly joys and lusts; and early in the meeting I stood up with this concern, and delivered it in few words; after which, several Friends appeared, and mostly to the same import-and it was a memorable meeting; but my mind was sorrowful, in a sense that there was a disposition to put it off.

"23rd. The select Quarterly Meeting was a very trying time; I expressed some close things, under a sense of a forward spirit prevailing too much in some.

"24th. To the Quarterly Meeting, which was so large that the people could not all sit down. There were a number of appearances, and I thought I could have sat in a low place, with my mind and mouth in the dust, for the sake of the little ones being brought forward; but felt a short testimony of encouragement arise to this class, and to those struggling under difficulties, &c.; and again at the close expressed a desire, that Friends might be preserved under the weight and sense of Truth, and be careful how and what they spoke. At five o'clock attended the adjournment, which held until near nine o'clock, and I had some very close things to say, being sorry to behold an active busy spirit at work. I am jealous and fearful of my own standing: the Lord knows my state; and O! that I may be rinsed and washed from every stain, and preserved unto the end.

"25th. To another adjournment, at the tenth hour, which held until near three o'clock; passed through it without much to say, in silent suffering on account of a forward spirit. Went in to the women's meeting with my friend R. Chester, when he took in the Memorials concerning Elizabeth Drinker and Deborah Townsend; and after they were read, I had a comfortable opportunity."

CHAPTER VIII.

1795.-RECEIVES AN INTERESTING LETTER FROM

ANN CROWLEYEXTRACT FROM ONE FROM WILLIAM SAVERY-RELIGIOUS ENGAGEMENTS IN AND NEAR LONDON-LETTER FROM GEORGE DILLWYNATTENDS THE YEARLY MEETING IN LONDON TRAVELS IN ESSEX, SUFFOLK, AND NORFOLK-LETTER FROM JOHN ELLIOTT, WRITTEN FROM PHILADELPHIA.

WHILST in London he received the following letter from Ann Crowley.

Shillingford, Third Month 24th, 1795. "It is not without a degree of diffidence that I take up my pen to address a father in Israel; but as my mind has at seasons been favoured with a glimmering hope, through the many clouds of discouragements, that although many are my failings, yet I do feel true desires to be enabled to tread in the footsteps of the flock of Christ's companions; I am encouraged to believe, that my beloved friend will receive a few lines, although it come from a babe in the knowledge of the mysteries of the kingdom, in that love which nearly unites the children of one father, whether aged or young in years. It is not from an apprehension of having much to communicate, nor from a desire to draw unprofitable consolation from my dear friend, that I am induced to address him at this time; but as I have, I trust, in the liberty which Truth gave, a little unfolded to him the exercise of my often discouraged mind, I did believe it would not be altogether unacceptable, to hear a little how it fares with his poor friend; who, though often tempted to believe that she has not yet known her spiritual eye to be anointed with the true eye-slave, nor her spiritual ear to be enough unstopped, to distinguish the voice of the true Shepherd from that of the stranger; yet can say she feels no greater desire, than that she may be favoured clearly to behold the pointings of the Divine finger; and when seen, be enabled, by the assistance of the Lord's mighty power, to be obedient thereunto; that so she may indeed become a humble follower of a crucified Saviour, although it may cost her the parting with a right eye, or a right arm. After I parted with thee in London, I

went to Staines, where I spent near a week with my relations, though my mind was so oppressed with the weight of the prospect before me, that I had but little satisfaction in the company of any, even of my nearest and dearest friends. I thought solitary places, where I could pour out my petitions to the Searcher of hearts, and supplicate for the continuation of his merciful regard, aid and direction, were safest for me; well knowing that of myself I could do nothing that would bring glory to my great Lord and Master, or afford permanent peace to my own mind. I continued to feel the weight of the exercise, and as yet knew of no companion who was likely to join me; but as I thought I felt at liberty to cast my eye a little round amongst my friends, my attention was turned towards one in particular, though I dared not write to her till I had weighed it, as well as I was capable, in the true balance. While endeavouring to do this, as my head was reclined on the pillow, I suddenly felt a stop, and the weight of the exercise was taken from me; but my mind was left in a state of depression, for what cause I knew not-the only consolation I felt was, that I could appeal to my heavenly Father, in this language; Thou knowest, O Lord! that I desire to do thy will.' My mind remained in a mournful state till morning, not being able to rejoice in the hope that a ram was caught in the thicket; but felt as if some new trouble awaited me. On rising in the morning, I found this to be the case, as I received a letter from home, giving me the affecting information of my dearly beloved mother being seized with a repeated paralytic stroke, which so much affected her speech, as scarcely to be understood in any conversation, and that the doctor apprehended a sudden change might take place. Thou wilt, I doubt not, conclude this was a close struggle for nature to bear, and needed a fresh supply from the bountiful hand, to enable me to drink the bitter cup with patience and resignation. But blessed be the name of the Lord, he is pleased often to mingle sweets with the bitters, which proved to be the case now; for, although on my coming home, I found my dear mother so very weak and ill in body, that there appeared no room to flatter ourselves with an expectation of her recovery, yet her mind was favoured with such a sweet calm, and appeared so remarkably patient under her allotted affliction, that I scarcely dared to suffer a desire to enter, that she might be restored to us again, believing our loss would be her eternal gain. Thou mayst conclude I esteemed it a great favour, to feel my mind relieved from the load of exercise which had so long attended it, and at liberty to pay close attention to a dearly

M

beloved parent, whose tenderness and solicitude for her children have been such, as seemed loudly to call upon us to use all our endeavours to alleviate her affliction. But I may tell my beloved friend in freedom, that here I brought fresh trouble upon myself; for as nature rejoices to shrink from suffering, so I was now glad to shake off the prospect of being called from home, and thought the will would be accepted for the deed, and that my whole attention should now be paid to waiting on my dear mother, and that I should be excused from doing the Lord's work. O! such was the artful insinuation of the enemy of our soul's salvation, to endeavour to draw my mind off from a strict, watchful attention to the pointings of the finger of Truth. Well, it is with sorrow of heart I say, he did in some degree gain his point, for I got unprofitably from under the deep exercise which had so long attended my mind, with the plausible excuse of performing my duty to a beloved parent. This brought darkness over my mind, and deep distress; but blessed be the Lord, after he had in great mercy, chastised with his rod, he was pleased to speak peace to my soul, and I became instructed in the belief, that he that loveth father or mother more than the Lord, is not worthy of him. All must be given up to obey the voice of Him, who hath an undoubted right to employ his servants and hand-maids, whom he is qualifying to work in his vineyard, how and when he pleases. I may tell thee, the prospect has again opened in my view, and I believe my peace will be concerned in closing in with it, though the time for moving is not yet clearly seen, nor do I yet know of a companion; but a little faith arises that one will be found, when the full time is come for the offering to be made. Perhaps indulgent Goodness will allow me a little longer time to stay with my sick parent, who is still living, though in a very weak state, wholly confined to her bed."

"26th, Fifth-day.-Went to Ratcliff meeting poor and low, but had an open time of encouragement, and my mind is a little raised; near the close I desired Friends to inform their neighbours, that I proposed sitting with them on First-day morning

next.

"27th. Attended the school meeting, and after it, was favoured with a good time with the boys and girls separately.

"29th, First-day.-We found a very crowded meeting at Ratcliff, and it proved an open time. The afternoon meeting was also large and favoured: I stood up near the close, and told them