網頁圖片
PDF
ePub 版

a pleasure in raising objections against all the peculiar doctrines of revelation, except the moral precepts delivered by our Saviour, yet those objections appeared to me to be made from the pride and vanity of youth and ignorance; and I am persuaded that, while making them, most, if not all of them felt a secret compunction and consciousness that they were doing wrong. One of them afterwards told me, that he had no doubt that, when he grew older, he should have recourse to the Scriptures, as the only source of comfort and tranquillity to his mind in old age, and of hope with regard to a future state; and all of them expressed their great dislike to be called infidels, even in argument, because it appeared to them a term of reproach, and because, as Lord Byron afterwards remarked, it was "a cold and chilling appellation."

On Sunday morning I sent down a few books to M.'s house, in case it should be found necessary to refer to them. These were, the first volume of Scott's Bible," "Erskine's Evidence," and "Paley and Gregory's," "Bogue's Essay," and "Horne's Critical Introduction to the Scriptures." While sitting with M., a note was received from an officer who begged to be allowed to be present.

This was declined, as it was wished to keep the meeting as quiet as possible, and to admit only the original members; but the officer coming himself, and stating that he had no doubt of the truth of Christianity, and that he was not influenced by a mere desire of seeing Lord Byron, but by a wish to obtain information, he was admitted; and this the more readily, as one of the gentlemen who was present when the discussion was first suggested, had left the island.

Count Delladecimo breakfasted that morning on board with his lordship, and continuing to sit and converse beyond the hour appointed for meeting, his lordship said that he had an engagement to meet some gentlemen to hear the truth of Christianity explained and defended, and asked the count to accompany him. When they came on shore, the count took his leave, as he had other engagements, and said to his lordship, "Well, I hope your lordship will be converted." “I hope

so too," he replied.

His lordship came attended by Count Gamba and Mr. Brown; and, at the same time, two other gentlemen, influenced by curiosity, arrived, who, from their rank and office, could not be denied admittance. Thus, our meeting, which at

first was intended to be held by five persons, was now increased to ten. His lordship sat on the sofa. Colonel N. in a chair beside him: the others formed a circle round the table at a distance from them at which I sat, being opposite to Lord B.

I began by apologizing for my boldness in undertaking such a task, and hoped that they would excuse me when they considered the circumstances which led to it. After explaining them, I said that I did not rely on my own abilities and qualifications on the occasion, but on the nature of the subject, which was supported by such evidence, that no one who understood it could be apprehensive that its truth might be shaken or disproved by any, whatever might be his talents. I had certainly, I said, not expected such a distinguished and numerous meeting; and begged that they would acquit me of presumption if I still dared to explain and defend those truths, which I had at first simply undertaken to do to a few familiar friends.

I had some claim, I said, to be allowed to state my opinions with confidence. I had received a religious education, and had witnessed in my earliest youth many examples of genuine piety.

At college I had no opportunities of mixing with pious people. My friends there, without denying the truth of Christianity, neither regarded its doctrines nor its precepts; and some of my companions, from affectation or conviction, professed themselves freethinkers. Hume, Gibbon, Voltaire, Rousseau, and the other freethinking French authors, were held in high estimation among many of my friends, as those who chiefly merited the appellation of philosophers. My early impressions were never, however, so far effaced as to carry me the length of denying, or even doubting the truth of the Scriptures; but I lived almost in the total neglect of religious duties and studies, and frequently joined in the laugh and sneer against those whose lives were strict, as men of hypocritical character, or at least of a weak and narrow understanding. When doing these things, I often, indeed, felt a secret reproach of conscience, which was at times silenced by the resolution I formed, that some time or other, when it was more convenient, I would attend strictly to the study and practice of Christianity. I was often sensible of the inconsistency of my conduct in always talking with respect of religion,―nay, and of defending it, though very ignorantly, in

the company of deists, and yet joining in the ridicule against those who were more severe in regulating their lives and conversation by its doctrines. Circumstances at last led me seriously to reflect on the subject; and after two years of almost exclusive study and investigation of religious points, I took upon me the name and profession of a Christian, determined to participate in the lot, both in this world and in the next, of the sincere and humble followers of the Lord Jesus Christ.

My habits of study and reflection, I said, had led me to investigate the subject with a severe scrutiny, and I examined every book which fell in my way that seemed likely to afford any elucidation of the truth. I did not confine myself to the books written by professed Christians, but was even more eager to read those which were written by their enemies; and from the time I could read, to the present time, I had perused every work against Christianity which fell in my way, and had read a greater number of infidel productions than is usually done by most laymen. From the wide and circuitous mode in which I had investigated the subject, I had become well acquainted and familiar with the writings of

с

« 上一頁繼續 »