One day last week I had dined-mutton chop, I remember, and pot of porter-and was picking my teeth very leisurely to give William time to get me my pint of sherry, when my attention was called to the other end of the room by a gentleman making a speech. He was a stranger; a stout man, about my own age-fifty or thereabouts-and he had been brought in by a friend, a member of the club with whom I am not acquainted. They had dined together very quietly-cold beef and pickles, William said, exactly at three-and, in fact, so little noise had they made, that I was not aware of their presence in the room. All of a sudden I heard a speech proceeding with the most amazing volubility. I was so far off I could not catch a word of it, but I perceived from the gestures he made use of, and the risings and fallings of his voice, that he was an accomplished orator. His whole audience was his frienda mercer from Cornhill-a very quiet, respectable man, who certainly looked amazed at the performance. It lasted, I should think, twenty minutes; at the end of which time, the gentleman sat down and knocked very loudly with both hands on the table, and kicked with all his might upon the floor. Shortly after that, he volunteered a song; 'twas "Will Watch the bold Smuggler," and very well he sang it, bestowing at the end the same hearty marks of approbation on it that he had formerly done on the speech.

My wine was now put before me, and I placed my tooth-pick in my pocket. Before I had finished one-half of the decanter-I drank very slowly the mercer from Cornhill slipped off, and I thought I perceived by the doggedly determined manner with which he fixed his hat on his head, that he had no intention of returning. The stranger waited very patiently for some time, but at last, looking all round, and seeing nobody but me, he carried his decanter-I declare to Heaven it was entirely empty-up to the table I was sitting at, and making me a very polite bow, proposed, as we were both enjoying our wine, that we should do so in company.

Company, my dear Sir," he continued, drawing in his chair, and filling up his glass out of my decanter;" company, Sir, is indispensable 'Tis even recommended for my health."

to me.

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Indeed, Sir," I said, keeping a firm hold of my wine, for he had finished his glass in a moment, and looked very dangerously at the decanter again.

"Yes, Sir; I am liable to low spirits. I have such a lot of sensibility; 'tis quite distressing to see me sometimes. Nice club this is." "Very

"I think of belonging to it myself. "Twill be a charming resource against the agonies of recollection, the woes of memory, and the grief of a too sensitive, too sympathizing heart. You don't help yourself to the wine."

"I have had enough, Sir," I said, as repulsively as I could.

"Nonsense! Enough? why you 've had nothing. Let me help you." So saying, he fairly got possession of my pint decanter, and divided the contents of it equally between us.

"This is the fine free and easy way I like to see things carried on in clubs. What are clubs? Confraternities of congenial souls. If I belonged to a club, there is not a member in all whose woes I would not have a share."

"And in his bottle, too," I said, with a sneer.

"Good! good! Well, that does deserve something. Waiter, a bottle of port. Ah, Sir! how charming it is to meet with a good-humoured, pleasant, agreeable, witty companion, such as you! 'twas a capital hit about the bottle-I took it at once."

"So I saw, Sir. You took every drop of it."

"Good again! Waiter, why the devil don't you bring that bottle of port? Alas! Sir, you must excuse me. I am dreadfully subject to low spirits. But, thank Heaven, here comes William with the wine." He poured out a glass, and, after looking at it for some time, swallowed it off in a twinkling.

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Medicine, Sir-purely as medicine I drink it. It enables me to bear up. I should die without it-ennui-blue devils-hypochondriasis- 99

"And thirst, Sir?" I said; but somehow the extraordinary familiarity of the man's manner disarmed my dislike, and I filled up my glass, and accompanied my observation with a smile.

66

Capital again! You have said three very witty things. I declare to Heaven, Sir, I am ashamed of myself, but I can't laugh. No, Sir; the effort would choke me. I have one fatal remembrance, one sorrow, you know the lines—”

but

"Indeed, Sir?" I asked, inquiringly.

"True. I have thought of suicide; but 'tis so common, 'tis become vulgar: my shoemaker cut his throat last week. I will tell you my story, Sir; after that judge if I have no cause for regret."

66

Happy to hear it, Sir."

The stranger drew his chair more confidentially close to the table, filled up our glasses, and then said—

"Do you know the Isle of Wight, Sir ?"

"No."

"Did you ever hear of old Sniggs, of Water-lane?"

"No."

"Did you ever hear of Captain Hoskins, of Harridon Lodge?" "No."

"Good Heavens! what a man you must be! The Isle of Wight is the loveliest place in the world, Sir. All the Undercliff is a slice out of Eden; hundreds of people go there every year, pretending to be in bad health-'tis only to enjoy the scenery and eat prawns. Dr. Clarke calls it the British Madeira; 'tis the only homebrewed I ever heard of which is better than the original. Ah! 'tis, indeed, a charming spot, and five-and-twenty years ago, 'twas still more beautiful than now. I was young then; thin, elegant, genteel; grief had not swelled me; nor tears reddened the point of my nose. And, then, old Sniggs-you never heard of old Sniggs?"

"No, Sir; never."

"Curious;-a d-d old hunks as ever was, but such a sweet creature his daughter! Ah, Julia! How playful she used to be at church! We always flirted immensely all the time of the psalms. And Hoskins -never heard of Hoskins ?"

"Never."

"Odd again ;-a dog, Sir. whiskered, infernal fellow, Sir.

A handsome, laughing, jolly, swearing,
He was six feet two-without a shilling

-he had spent two fortunes-and, as bad luck would have it, went down to the Isle of Wight."

"To eat prawns, Sir ?"

"No--to catch gudgeons, Sir. He caught me-the rascal! That's my story, Sir."

"What is, Sir? I have heard no story yet."

"No! How slow you must be. Don't you see it all? But I'll tell it you, Sir, word for word. Pray, Sir, do you ever lend money to a friend?"

This was too much, and I determined to stop the man's impertinence at once. The idea of asking me for a loan after ten minutes' acquaintance! I could not help thinking he was a swindler.

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No, Sir," I said: "I would not lend a shilling to the dearest friend I have in the world; no, not to keep him from starving. And, as to trusting a stranger with a sixpence, Sir, I should consider he was insulting me if he hinted at such a thing."

"Give me your hand," exclaimed the stranger, "give me your hand. I am proud to have met you—you will be a happy man all your days— you are a gentleman-a wise man. Would to Heaven I had always thought as you do! Ah! Sir, you shall hear. Old Sniggs was worth a hundred and fifty thousand pounds--Julia his only child. I, Sir, lived next door to them in Finsbury Square, and flirted with the daughter every Sunday at church. Could anything be more agreeable? Yet somehow or other we never could scrape up an acquaintance. A she dragon, in the shape of an old housekeeper, always guarded that fairest of Hesperian apples-plums, I should say, for you perceive she was heiress to a plum and a half-and nothing I could do could get the better of her vigilance. I worried, and teazed, and fretted myself to such a degree that I nearly tormented myself into a consumption. Change of scene-mild air-were recommended to me by the faculty, and I set off by the Portsmouth coach for the village of Steephill, at the back of the Isle of Wight. I got a charming bed-room and parlour at a farmer's cottage-oh, 'twas Paradise!-and the hostess made the most delicious hams in the world. Every morning at breakfast I had magnificent slices-sometimes hot, sometimes cold-exquisite prawns, with an occasional lobster. My health grew gradually better, but I still mused a good deal about Julia. Even then, Sir, solitude was my aversion, and you may guess my gratification when one day I was visited by a tall handsome young man, dressed in a style that had once been fashionable-trowsers slightly patched about the knees-coat not quite entire about the elbows, for the benefit of the fresh air; and yet his tout ensemble showing he was a gentleman-a perfect gentleman. He was romantic, and had stationed himself at the Crab and Lobster,' a delicious retreat from the cares of life, just under St. Boniface Down. He begged the honour of my acquaintance. I went of course and dined with him that very day-cold lamb and salad-and vowed eternal friendship, as I was assisted on my homeward way at half-past eight. He was certainly a delightful fellow; no ceremony-no reserve-full of jokes. He came into my bedroom one morning before I was up, and clapped on my new coat-an olive green, I remember, with bright brass buttons-and, all I could say, I never could get it back again. Oh! he was full of fun! He did the same with my trowsers: 'pon my soul, Oct.-VOL. LI. NO. CCII,

S

'twould have killed you with laughing to have heard how comically he spoke about the trick. I love him yet-the rascal!-though he has been the cause of all my misery. 'Twas Hoskins;-I need scarcely tell you his name; you guessed who it was, didn't you?”

“No, Sir; I had no idea.”

"Well; he and I for about a week were happier than any two men since the fall. We rambled about the sweet vales of Bonchurch-dived into the coves of Ventnor ;- -we were seldom separate for an hour in the day. Would to Jupiter we had never been separate a moment! Of course we had no secrets with each other. I was come to the island to recover the tone of my mind and stomach, after a disappointment in love; he had come to those deep solitudes and awful dells to avoid the impertinence of his duns. We nearly succeeded in both. I became ruddy as a piony rose, and was hungry five times a day, and he lost the very recollection of wine merchants and tailors. How he rallied me about Julia! how he laughed at the name of Sniggs! But he always particularly impressed on me the necessity of never despairing. We formed together a plan of the campaign by which I was to obtain my wishes. He was to come up and live with me in London-to drive about in my phaeton-cabs are a new invention-and, if possible, obtain an introduction to her himself; then trust to him for pleading the cause of his friend! Nothing could be nicer; I was only anxious to proceed to work, and to return to London immediately. As a preparatory step, I wrote to several of his creditors, and became responsible for his debts. Couldn't do less, you know, for a gentleman who was to get me a wife with a hundred and fifty thousand pounds. It seemed very odd to me all this time that Hoskins-gay, lively, handsome fellow-had never been in love. It seemed to give me too much the advantage over him, but he didn't seem to mind it much. He was as proud of himself as if he had been in love with a dozen. At last, one day--'twas the sixth of our acquaintance-he came to me and said, 'Teddy,' said he, will you make my fortune?'

"Certainly, Hosky, my boy,' said I ; but how?'

"Lend me twenty pounds. The oddest thing in the world has just happened to me.'

"I happened only to have twenty-five pounds left; gave him four fives without a word; and kept the other.

"What is it?' I said.

"Why, as I was just rambling along below Groves's inn, there passed me a carriage containing two or three ladies. They were evidently strangers; 'twas a Newport fly; and after they had passed me about twenty yards, the driver stopped, and one of the ladies-rather demure-looking, and somewhat dowdily dressed-came up and spoke

to me.'

"Did you know her?' I asked.

66 I take

"Never saw her in my life before; but she said to me, the liberty of addressing you, Sir, perceiving you to be a gentleman—” "By Jupiter, Hosky! my coat and trowsers

66 6 66

To inform you," continued the old woman, " of our dilemma. We are living at present in Southampton; we have come over here for a two days' tour, and, unluckily, we have just this moment discovered that we have brought no money with us."

"And what did you say, Hosky, my boy?' asked I.

"Say? why, that I was delighted to have the opportunity of being useful-that I would walk direct to my hotel and bring them whatever sum they required. They have gone on to Shanklin, and as they return this way, I shall present them with the twenty pounds you have given me.'

"Hadn't you better let me do it myself?' I asked; for I thought, Sir, as the money was mine, I might as well have all the merit of helping those damsels in distress. But Hoskins was resolved; and insisted on giving me a note of hand for the amount, in order, as he said, that he might hand it to the ladies with a safe conscience. Noble fellow Hoskins was-wasn't he? Well, Sir, when I asked him what more he intended to do, what do you think he told me, Sir? Why, that he intended to marry the old woman!

"The old woman, Hosky!' says I. 'Why do you fix on her ?' "Because she is dowdily dressed, and asked me for money, she must be rich.'

“Why?' said I, in surprise. Because she is ill dressed and hasn't a farthing in her pocket ?"

"Exactly,' nodded my friend Hoskins-oh, he was a knowing dog. "If she were really poor she would be finely dressed, and have rather sunk through the earth than have confessed her poverty to a stranger. She must be rolling in money—at least I'll marry her on the chance.'

"So I laughed at him, and he rubbed his hands. You never saw two fellows so jolly in your life. Hoskins with the pockets of my trowsers stuffed with my bank-notes, and buttoning up the bosom of my olivegreen coat. Short-sighted mortal! Confound me if I ever laugh again! Let me fill your glass again, Sir."

"You had better, Sir," said I; "for you've emptied it this moment -by mistake, of course."

I

“Good again! But now my miseries begin. Sir, there is a landslip just below a place called Undermount Cottage, leading down to a beautiful beach. Never was so sweet a spot. High hills frowning above, rugged rocks, shelving glens, quite made for lovers to play hide-andseek in. Well, Sir, that smooth expanse of sand, that richly-wooded shore, that quiet, blest retirement, friend to life's decline'-that is, friend to all who are labouring in a consumption, Sir-that scene, say, was the witness of my distraction. Hoskins was a famous sailor, and had hired a boat, which I paid for at the rate of a guinea a week. By way of passing off the time till the old lady's return we resolved to row out and lift up the prawn-pots. No amusement can be so delightful, Sir, as catching prawns in the midst of the finest scenery in the world; for

'Oh, if there be an Elysium on earth,

It is this, it is this, it is this!'

When we were returning the tide was running out at the rate of sixty miles an hour-sad work pulling against such a racer. But when we had got within a few yards of the shore, who should Hoskins see, just peeping over the cliff, but the identical old lady that had spoken to him in the morning. She waved her hand; he kissed his in return; when -excuse me, Sir, till I've swallowed this bumper-just at her elbow,