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"Stop thief! Stop thief! A highwayman!"
Not one of them was mute;
And all and each that passed that way
And now the turnpike gates again
And so he did, and won it, too,
Nor stopp'd till where he had got up,
Now let us sing, "Long live the king!
And when he next doth ride abroad,
Report of an Adjudged Case
BETWEEN Nose and Eyes a strange contest arose;
So Tongue was the lawyer, and argued the cause
With a great deal of skill and a wig full of learning; While chief Baron Ear sat to balance the laws,
So famed for his talent in nicely discerning.
"In behalf of the Nose it will quickly appear,
And your lordship," he said, "will undoubtedly find, That the nose has had spectacles always in wear, Which amounts to possession time out of mind.”
Then holding the spectacles up to the Court
"Your lordship observes they are made with a straddle, 'As wide as the bridge of the Nose is; in short, Design'd to sit close to it, just like a saddle.
"Again, would your lordship a moment suppose
'Tis a case that has happen'd, and may be again— That the visage or countenance had not a Nose,
Pray who would, or who could, wear spectacles then?
"On the whole, it appears, and my argument shows,
Then shifting his side-as a lawyer knows how-
So his lordship decreed with a grave, solemn tone,
I SHALL not ask Jean Jaques Rousseau
If birds confabulate or no;
'Tis clear that they were always able
Must have a most uncommon skull.
It chanced, then, on a winter's day,
To forestall sweet St. Valentine,
many an orchard, copse, and grove, 'Assembled on affairs of love,
And with much twitter and much chatter
At length a Bullfinch, who could boast
The subject upon which we meet;
I fear we shall have winter yet."
A Finch, whose tongue knew no control,
By his goodwill would keep us single
Till death exterminate us all.
I marry without more ado.
My dear Dick Redcap, what say you?"
Dick heard, and tweedling, ogling, bridling, Turned short round, strutting, and sideling, Attested, glad, his approbation
Of an immediate conjugation.
All pair'd, and each pair built a nest.
But though the birds were thus in haste,
Stepping into their nests, they paddled, Themselves were chill'd, their eggs were addled.
Soon every father bird and mother
Grew quarrelsome, and peck'd each other,
And learn'd in future to be wiser
Misses, the tale that I relate
This lesson seems to carry:
The Love of the World Reproved
THUS says the Prophet of the Turk: