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sharp for the track of the wheel, and go forward till you come to farmer Murrain's barn. Coming to the farmer's barn, you are to turn to the right, and then to the left, and then to the right about again, till you find out the old mill
Mar. Zounds! man, we could as soon find out the longitude.
Hast. What's to be done, Marlow?
Mar. This house promises but a poor reception; though, perhaps, the landlord can accommodate us.
Land. Alack, master, we have but one spare bed in the whole house.
Tony. And, to my knowledge, that's taken up by three lodgers already. (After a pause, in which the rest seem disconcerted.) I have hit it: Don't you think, Stingo, our landlady would accommodate the gentlemen by the fireside, with three chairs and a bolster?
Hast. I hate sleeping by the fireside.
Mar. And I detest your three chairs and a bolster.
Tony. You do, do you? Then let me see what if you go on a mile farther, to the Buck's Head, the old Buck's Head, on the hill, one of the best inns in the whole country
Hast. Oh, ho! so we have escaped an adventure for this night, however.
Land. (aside to TONY). Sure you bean't sending them to your father's as an inn, be you?
Tony. Mum! you fool, you let them find that out. (To them.) You have only to keep on straight forward till you come to a large house on the roadside; you'll see a pair of large horns over the door; that's the sign. Drive up the yard, and call stoutly about you.
Hast. Sir, we are obliged to you. The servants can't miss the way?
Tony. No, no; but I tell you, though, the landlord is rich, and going to leave off business; so he wants to be thought a gentleman, saving your presence, he-he-he! He'll be for giving you his company; and, ecod! if you mind him, he'll persuade you that his mother was an alderman, and his aunt a justice of peace.
Land. A troublesome old blade, to be sure; but a' keeps as good wines and beds as any in the whole county.
Mar. Well, if he supplies us with these, we shall want no further connection. We are to turn to the right, did you say?
Tony. No, no-straight forward. I'll just step, myself, and show you a piece of the way. (To the LANDLORD.) Mum!" She Stoops to Conquer."
The Double Transformation
SECLUDED from domestic strife,
Such pleasures, unalloyed with care,
Oh, had the archer ne'er come down
Her presence banished all his peace.
Miss frowned, and blushed, and then was-married.
Need we expose to vulgar sight
The raptures of the bridal night?
The honeymoon like lightning flew;
Skilled in no other arts was she,
But when at home, at board or bed,
Five greasy nightcaps wrapped her head.
Could any curtain lectures bring
In short, by night, 'twas fits or fretting;
Fond to be seen, she kept a bevy
Of powdered coxcombs at her levee;
The 'squire and captain took their stations,
And twenty other near relations;
Jack sucked his pipe, and often broke
A sigh in suffocating smoke;
While all their hours were passed between Insulting repartee or spleen.
Thus as her faults each day were known,
Or thins her lip or points her nose.
How wide her mouth, how wild her eyes!
Her face is grown a knowing phiz;
And though her fops are wondrous civil, He thinks her ugly as the devil.
Now, to perplex the ravelled noose,
The glass, grown hateful to her sight,
Each former art she vainly tries
To bring back lustre to her eyes.
Poor madam, now condemned to hack