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Esop. If your lordship would apply more to the first, and drink our waters to forget the last

Lord Chalk. What! relinquish my bottle! What the devil shall I do to kill time then?

Esop. Has your lordship no wife nor children to entertain you?

Lord Chalk. Children! Not I, faith-My wife has, for ought I know, I have not seen her these seven years— Esop. You surprize me!

Lord Chalk. 'Tis the way of the world, for all that-I married for a fortune; she for a title. When we both had got what we wanted, the sooner we parted the betterWe did so; and are now waiting for the happy moment, that will give to one of us the liberty of playing the same farce over again-Eh, Bowman!

Bow. Good, good; you have puzzled the philosopher. Esop. The Greeks esteem'd matrimonial happiness their summum bonum.

Lord Chalk. More fools they! 'tis not the only thing they were mistaken in-My brother Dick, indeed, married for love; and he and his wife have been fattening these five and twenty years, upon their summum bonum, as you call it- -They have a dozen and half children, and may have half a dozen more, if an apoplexy don't step in, and interrupt their summum bonum-Eh, Bowman? ha, ha, ha!

Bow. Your lordship never said a better thing in your life.

Lord Chalk. 'Tis lucky for the nation, to be sure, that there are people who breed, and are fond of one another

-one man of elegant notions is sufficient in a family; for which reason I have bred up Dick's eldest son myself; and a fine gentleman he is- -is not he, Bowman?.

Bow. A fine gentleman, indeed, my lord.

Lord Chalk. And as for the rest of the little, they may fondle and fatten upon summum bonum, as their loving parents have done before 'em.

Bow. Look there! my lord-I'll be hang'd if that is not your lordship's nephew in the grove.

Esop. I dare swear it is. He has been here just now, and has entertained me with bis elegant notions.

Lord Chalk. Let us go to him; I'll lay six to four that he has been gallanting with some of the beauties of antiqui


ty-Helen or Cleopatra, I warrant you;-egad, let Lucretia take care of herself; she'll catch a Tarquin, I can tell her that- -He is his uncle's own nephew, ha, ha, ha,

-egad, I find myself in spirits: I'll go and coquet a little myself with them -Bowman lend me your arm; and you, William hold me up a little-William treads upon his toes.]-Ho-Damn the fellow, he always treads upon my toes-eugh- -I shan't be able to gallant it this half hour-Well, dear philosopher, dispose of your water to those that want it-There is no one action of my life, or qualification of my mind and body, that is a burden to me: and there is nothing in your world, or in ours, I have to wish for, unless you could rid me of my wife, and furnish me with a better pair of legs-Eh, Bowman-Come along, come along.

Bow. Game to the last! my lord.

[Exit Lord Chalkstone and Bowman. Esop. How flattering is folly: his lordship here supported only by vanity, vivacity, and his friend Mr Bowman, can fancy himself the wisest, and is the happiest of mortals.

Enter Mr and Mrs TATOO.

Mrs Tatoo. Why don't you come along, Mr Tatoo? what the deuce are you afraid of?

Esop. Don't be angry, young lady; the gentleman is your husband, I suppose.

Mrs Tatee. How do you know that, eh? what! you an't all conjurers in this world, are you?

Esop. Your behaviour to him is a sufficient proof of his condition, without the gift of conjuration.

Mrs Tutoo. Why I was as free with him before marriage, as I am now; I never was coy or prudish in my life. Esop. I believe you, madam; pray how long have you been married? you seem to be very young, lady.

Mrs Tatoo. I am old enough for a husband, and have been married long enough to be tired of one.

Esop. How long, pray?

Mrs Tatoo. Why above three months; I married Mr Tatoo without my guardians's consent.

Esop. If you married him with your own consent, I think you might continue your affection a little longer. Mrs Tatoo. What signifies what you think, if I don't

think so?We are quite tired of one another, and are come to drink some of your Le-Lethaly-Lethily, I think they call it, to forget one another, and be unmarried again.

Esop. The waters can't divorce you, madam; and you may easily forget him without the assistance of Lethe. Mrs Tatoo. Ay, how so?

Esop. By remembering continually he is your husband: there are several ladies have no other receipt But what does the gentleman say to this?

Mrs Tatoo. What signifies what he says? I an't so young and so foolish as that comes to, to be directed by my husband or to care what either he says, or you say.

Mr Tatoo. Sir, I was a drummer in a marching regi ment, when I ran away with that young lady-I immediately bought out of the corps, and thought myself made for ever; little imagining that a poor vain fellow was purchasing fortune, at the expence of his happiness.

Esop. 'Tis even so, friend; fortune and felicity are as often at variance as man and wife.

Mr Tatoo. I found it so, Sir-This high life (as I thought it) did not agree with me; I have not laugh'd, and scarcely slept since my advancement; and unless your wisdom can alter her notions, I must e'en quit the blessings of a fine lady and her portion, and, for content, have recourse to eight-pence a day, and my drum again.

Esop. Pray who has advis'd you to a separation?

Mrs Tatoo. Several young ladies of my acquaintance, who tell me they are not angry at me for marrying him; but being fond of him now I have married him; and they say I should be as compleat a fine lady as any of 'em, if I would but procure a separate divorcement.

Esop. Pray, madam, will you let me know what you call a fine lady?

Mrs Tatoo. Why, a fine lady, and a fine gentleman, are two of the finest things upon earth.

Esop. I have just now had the honour of knowing what a fine gentleman is; so pray confine yourself to the lady, Mrs Tatoo. A fine lady, before marriage, lives with her pappa and mamma, who breed her up till she learns to despise 'em, and resolves to do nothing they bid her; this makes her such a prodigious favourite, that she wants for nothing.


Esop. So, lady.

Mis Tatoo. When once she is her own mistress, then comes the pleasure!

Esop. Pray let us here.

Mis Tatoo. She lies in bed all morning, rattles about all day, and sits up all night; she goes every where, and sees every thing; knows every body, and loves no body; ridicules her friends, coquets with her lovers, sets 'em together by the ears, tells fibs, makes mischief, buys china, cheats ať cards, keeps a pug-dog, and hates the parsons; she laughs much, taiks aloud, never blushes, says what she will, does what she will, goes where she will, marries whom she pleases, hates her husband in a month, breaks his heart in four, becuines a widow, slips from her gallants, and begins the world again—There's a life for you; what do you think a fine lady now?

Esop. As I expected-you are very young, lady; and if you are not very careful, your natural propensity to noise and affectation will run you headlong into folly, extravagance, and repentance.

Mrs Tatoo. What would you have me do?

Esop. Drink a large quantity of Lethe to the lose of your acquaintance; and do you, Sir, drink another to forget this false step of your wife; for whilst you remember her folly, you can never thoroughly regard her; and whilst you keep good company, lady, as you call it, and follow their example, you can never have a just regard for your husband; so both drink and be happy.

Mrs Tatoo. Well, give it me whilst I am in humour, or I shall certainly change my mind again.

Esop. Be patient, till the rest of the company drink, and divert yourself, in the mean time, with walking in the grove.

Mrs Tatoo. Well, come along, husband, and keep me in humour, or I shall beat you such an alarm as you never beat in all your life. [Exeunt Mr and Mrs Tatoo,

Enter FRENCHMAN singing.

French. Monsieur, votre serviteur-pourquoi ne repondez vous pas ?Je dis que je suis votre serviteurEsop. I don't understand you, Sir

French. Ah le barbare! il ne parle pas Francois-Vat,

Sir, you no speak de French tongue ?


Esop. No really, Sir, I am not so polite.

French. En verite, monsieur Esop, you have not much politesse, if one may be judge by your figure and appearance. Esop. Nor you much wisdom, if one may be judge of your head, by the ornaments about it.

French. Qu'est cela donc ? Vat you mean to front a man, Sir?

Esop. No, Sir, 'tis to you I am speaking.

French. Vel, Sir, I not a man! vat is you take me for? vat I beast? vat I horse! parbleu !

Esop. If you insist upon it, Sir, I would advise you to lay aside your wings and tail, for they undoubtedly eclipse your manhood.

French. Upon my vard, Sir, if you treat a gentilhomme of my rank and qualitee comme ca, depen upon it, I shall be a littel en cavalier vit you.

Esop. Pray, Sir, of what rank and quality are you?

French. Sir, I am a marquis Francois, j'entents les beaux arts, Sir; I have been an advanturier all ove the varld, and am a present en Angleterre, in Ingland, vere I am more honore and caress den ever I vas in my own countrie, or inteed any vere else—

Esop. And pray, Sir, what is your business in England? French. I am arrive dere, Sir, pour polir la nation-de Inglis, sir, have too much a lead in their heels, and too much a tought in deir head; so, Sir, if I can lighten bote, I shall make dem tout a fait Francois, and quite anoder ting. Esop. And pray, Sir, in what particular accomplishments does your merit consist?

French. Sir, I speak de French, j'ai bonne addresse, I dance un minue, I sing des littel chansons, and I haveune tolerable assurance; en fin, Sir, my merit consist in one vard—I am foreignere—and entre nous-vile de Englis be so great a fool to love de foreignere better dan demselves, de foreignere vold still be more great a fool, did they not leave deir own countrie, vere dey have noting at all, and come to Inglande, very day want for noting at all, perdie- -Cela n'est il pas vrai, monsieur Esop?

-I am in

Esop. Well, Sir, what is your business with me? French. Attendez un pue, you shall hear, Sirlove vit de grande fortune of one Englis lady; and de lady, she be in love with my qualite and bagatelles. Now, Sir, me want twenty or thirty douzains of your vaters, for


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