pleasant borders of the Bronx. These were short fat men, wearing exceeding large trunk breeches, and are renowned for feats of the trencher: they were the first inventors of suppawn or mush and milk.-Close in their rear marched the Van Vlotens, of Kaats Kill, most horrible quaffers of new cyder, and arrant braggarts in their liquor.-After them came the Van Pelts of Groodt Esopus, dexterous horsemen, mounted upon goodly switch-tailed steeds of the Esopus breed: these were mighty hunters of minks and musk-rats, whence came the word Peltry.Then the Van Nests of Kinderhoeck, valiant robbers of birds' nests, as their name denotes: to these, if report may be believed, are we indebted for the invention of slap-jacks, or buckwheat cakes.Then the Van Higginbottoms, of Wapping's Creek: these came armed with ferules and birchen rods, being a race of schoolmasters, who first discovered the marvellous sympathy between the seat of honour and the seat of intellect, and that the shortest way to get knowledge into the head was to hammer it into the bottom. Then the Van Grolls, of Anthony's Nose, who carried their liquor in fair, round little pottles, by reason they could not bouse it out of their canteens, having such rare long noses.Then the Gardeniers, of Hudson and thereabouts, distinguished by many triumphant feats, such as robbing water-melon patches, smoking rabbits out of their holes, and the like, and by being great lovers of roasted pigs'-tails: these were the ancestors of the renowned congress-man of that name.-Then the Van Hoesens, of Sing-Sing, great choristers and players upon the jew'sharp: these marched two and two, singing the great song of St. Nicholas.-Then the Couenhovens, of Sleepy Hollow these gave birth to a jolly race of publicans, who first discovered the magic artifice of conjuring a quart of wine into a pint bottle.-Then the Van Kortlands, who lived on the wild banks of the Croton, and were great killers of wild ducks, being much spoken of for their skill in shooting with the long bow. Then the Van Bunschotens, of Nyack and Kakiat, who were the first that did ever kick with the left foot: they were gallant bush-whackers, and hunters of racoons by moonlight.Then the Van Winkles, of Haerlem, potent suckers of eggs, and noted for running of horses, and running up of scores at taverns: they were the first that ever winked with both eyes at once. Lastly came the KNICKERBOCKERS, of the great town of Schahtikoke, where the folk lay stones upon the houses in windy weather, lest they should be blown away. These derive their name, as some say, from Knicker, to shake, and Beker, a goblet, indicating thereby that they were sturdy tosspots of yore; but, in truth, it was derived from Knicker, to nod, and Boeken, books, plainly meaning that they were great nodders or dozers over books: from them did descend the writer of this history. Such was the legion of sturdy bush-beaters that poured in at the grand gate of New-Amsterdam. The Stuyvesant manuscript, indeed, speaks of many more, whose names I omit to mention, seeing that it behoves me to hasten to matters of greater moment. Nothing could surpass the joy and martial pride of the lion-hearted Peter, as he reviewed this mighty host of warriors; and he determined no longer to defer the gratification of his muchwished-for revenge, upon the scoundrel Swedes at Fort Casimir. But before I hasten to record those unmatchable events which will be found in the sequel of this faithful history, let me pause to notice the fate of Jacobus Von Poffenburgh, the discomfited commander-in-chief of the armies of the New Netherlands. Such is the inherent uncharitableness of human nature, that scarcely did the news become public of his deplorable discomfiture at Fort Casimir, than a thousand scurvy rumours were set afloat in New-Amsterdam; wherein it was insinuated, that he had in reality a treacherous understanding with the Swedish commander; - that he had long been in the practice of privately communicating with the Swedes; together with divers hints about "secret-service money,"-to all which deadly charges I do not give a jot more credit than I think they deserve. Certain it is, that the general vindicated his character by the most vehement oaths and protestations, and put every man out of the ranks of honour who dared to doubt his integrity. Moreover, on returning to New-Amsterdam, he paraded up and down the streets with a crew of hard swearers at his heels, sturdy bottle-companions, whom he gorged and fattened, and who were ready to bolster him through all the courts of justice,-heroes of his own kidney, fierce-whiskered, broad-shouldered, colbrand-looking swaggerers, not one of whom but looked as though he could eat up an ox, and pick his teeth with the horns. These life-guard men quarrelled all his quarrels, were ready to fight all his battles, and scowled at every man that turned up his nose at the general, as though they would devour him alive. Their conversation was interspersed with oaths like minute-guns, and every bombastic rhodomontado was rounded off by a thundering execration, like a patriotic toast honoured with a discharge of artillery. All these valorous vapourings had a considerable effect în convincing certain profound sages, many of whom began to think the general a hero of unutterable loftiness and magnanimity of soul, particularly as he was continually protesting on the honour of a soldier,-a marvellously high-sounding asseveration. Nay, one of the members of the council went so far as to propose they should immortalize him by an imperishable statue of plaster of Paris. But the vigilant Peter the Headstrong was not thus to be deceived. Sending privately for the commander-inchief of all the armies, and having heard all his story, garnished with the customary pious oaths, protestations, and ejaculations" Harkee, comrade," cried he, "though by your own account you are the most brave, upright, and honourable man in the whole province, yet do you lie under the misfortune of being damnably traduced, and immeasurably despised. Now though it is certainly hard to punish a man for his misfortunes, and though it is very possible you are totally innocent of the crimes laid to your charge; yet as heaven, at present, doubtless for some wise purpose, sees fit to withhold all proofs of your innocence, far be it from me to counteract its sovereign will. Beside, I cannot consent to venture my armies with a commander whom they despise, or to trust the welfare of my people to a champion whom they distrust. Retire therefore, my friend, from the irksome toils and cares of public life, with this comforting reflection-that if you be guilty, you are but enjoying your just reward-and if innocent, that you are not the first great and good man, who has most wrongfully been slandered and maltreated in this wicked world-doubtless to be better treated in a better world, where there shall neither be error, calumny, nor persecution. In the mean time let me never see your again, for I have a horrid antipathy to the countenances of unfortunate great men like yourself." face CHAPTER V. In which the Author discourses very ingenuously of himself. After which is to be found much interesting history about Peter the Headstrong and his followers. As my readers and myself are about entering on as many perils, as ever a confederacy of meddlesome knightserrant wilfully ran their heads into; it is meet that like those hardy adventurers, we should join hands, bury all differences, and swear to stand by one another, in weal or wo, to the end of the enterprize. My readers must doubtless perceive, how completely I have altered my tone and deportment, since we first set out together. I warrant they then thought me a crabbed, cynical, impertinent little son of a Dutchman; for I scarcely ever gave them a civil word, nor so much as touched my beaver, when I had occasion to address them. But as we jogged along together, in the high-road of my history, I gradually began to relax, to grow more courteous, and occasionally to enter into familiar discourse; until at length I came to conceive a most social, companionable kind of regard for them, This is just my way-I am always a little cold and reserved at first, particularly to people, whom I neither know nor care for; and am only to be completely won by long intimacy. But Besides, why should I have been sociable to the crowd of how-d'ye-do acquaintances, that flocked around me at my first appearance? Many were merely attracted by a new face; and having stared me full in the titlepage, walked off without saying a word; while others lingered yawningly through the preface, and having gratified their shortlived curiosity, soon dropped off one by one. more especially to try their mettle, I had recourse to an expedient, similar to one, which we are told was used, by that peerless flower of chivalry, king Arthur; who, before he admitted any knight to his intimacy, first required that he should show himself superior to danger or hardships, by encountering unheard of mishaps, slaying some dozen giants, vanquishing wicked enchanters, not to say a word of dwarfs, hippogriffs and fiery dragons. On a similar principle, I cunningly led my readers, at the first sally, · into two or three knotty chapters, where they were most wofully belaboured and buffeted by a host of pagan philosophers, and infidel writers. Though naturally a very grave man, yet could I scarce refrain from smiling outright at seeing the utter confusion and dismay of my va |