"Deception" sounded in my ears during the next ten days whenever I was mentally unoccupied. At the end of ten days I shut myself in my room. I called myself a hypocrite, and prayed. "Jesus, take me," is all I said. As I walked across the room it came to me that I was sincere and that my prayer was real, and I believed my acceptance with God. . . . God.... After this I was conscientious to do everything that was right-not chiefly to tell the truth. The whole Right, as a loving duty to God, became my standard, while before other duties had had a secondary value.' This is an example, doubtless, of following up one associational path toward the possible new ego, and finally reaching that point toward which all the lines of spiritual tendency converge. The sense of acceptance is the point at which they all flow together. The result is apparently larger than the conditions which lead up to it. It is like freeing one petal, and thereby helping the whole flower to unfold.

This point of view enables us likewise to understand the result of conversion as a giving rise, in so short a time, to

Life on a Higher Plane.

It is a process of realising the possibilities of growth; of making a draft on the latent energies of the nervous system, stored up through racial activity and in the individual life up to this period, which might otherwise have lain dormant always. From this point of view we are ready to accept the strange transformations of character from evil to goodness, and the sudden uplifts which raise life to a higher plane, of which the following are fair instances: M., 19. The most prominent sins immediately came under the power of the new life. I was literally changed in an instant from a dishonest to an honest man.' M., 23. 'I experienced a complete change of conduct; I left off the old habits of drink and profanity without effort.' M., 37. 'The old will that made me suffer was mine; now I cared not about my

will, but God's.' M., 19. The change was marked and radical. I had feared God, now I loved Him. I did not rest in ceremonies, except as a means of growth.' F., 18. Before conversion I observed all the religious customs, but without interest; they were all alike to me. Now I did them with spirit and interest. I took an interest in humanity and all the things about me.'

they go, giving evidence usually of a more earnest, joyous, active life, as shown in deepened interest in the conventional religious observances, meditation, private prayer, positive religious striving, performance of duty, the renovation of religious motives, leaving off old habits, and the like.

When the change is so complete that the self becomes a point of reference for experiences, the old life has really ceased to be, except as a contributing or a disturbing element in the new. We shall have ample evidence in the sequel that it does still live in the background, and will make itself felt, if the new life weakens before it becomes thoroughly established-before the nervous reflexes which correspond to the new self-hood have become deeply ingrained and habitual. But as long as the new self-hood is maintained, as long as there is sufficient tension in the nervous system to keep it intact, until it becomes weak and staggers, the old life does not exist as a sensible factor in consciousness. The available supply of nervous energy flows only. along the new channels; the old channels are accordingly as if dammed up, since their usual functioning has been cut off. The old elements in consciousness, unless they fall in line with the new and reinforce them, are annulled. The new 'stream of consciousness' sweeps things before it, and old sins are washed away.

CHAPTER XI

CONVERSION AS A NORMAL HUMAN EXPERIENCE

As we have proceeded, we have seen the facts of conversion falling together more and more in such a way as to suggest a reading of the whole experience as a natural psychological process. Before we go on to an interpretation of it as a whole, it will be of advantage if we are convinced still further, one way or the other, whether or not it is explainable in terms of the normal mental activities which function in common experience. One of the best means will be to inquire whether there are, among the so-called natural (ie., non-religious) experiences, phenomena analogous to those which appear in each stage of conversion. With this in view, the following list of questions was sent out:

(a) Describe any faults or acts you have committed which you knew at the time were wrong. Why did you do them?

(b) What sudden awakening of power have you noticed in yourself, in others, or in animals-speaking, singing, playing, loving, hating, reasoning, etc.? How sudden was it? How do you explain it ?

(c) Describe any sudden change which has come. into your character or in your attitude toward things or persons. How and why did it occur?

(d) Have you ever had a time of great uncertainty which of two possible courses to pursue-in choosing a calling, in love, whether to do an act or not, etc.? Describe accurately and minutely your feelings preceding, during, and after the struggle?

'(e) If you have ever broken a habit, describe all the accompanying experiences and feelings.'

The questions brought in a large mass of valuable data. A few illustrations are appended to show certain features similar to the typical ones in conversion.

(a) Depression and Joy.

I

The feelings of pain, unhappiness and depression accompanying uncertainty in the presence of two or more alternatives of conduct or attachment, and the final joy and lightness of heart after the decision, illustrate, on the one hand, the feelings during conviction, and, on the other, those after the crisis. F. 'For a year or more I had something on my mind which I felt I ought to tell mother. At last I came to feel that I could not stand it any longer, and that I must do something to relieve me of this constant feeling that I ought. felt very nervous and worried; I was determined to tell her, but felt afraid my courage would fail. With my heart beating very fast, I followed her to her room. I felt so relieved when it was over I hurried to my room and laughed and cried at intervals. I still felt nervous, and trembled somewhat for a little while afterward. After that I seemed to forget everything connected with my old wrong, and I felt that I had gained a great victory over myself.' F. 'When 14, I was undecided whether to go away from home to school, or to public school at home. I used to think about it continually, until I lost my appetite, and became so cross and fretful that my brothers told me that I had better go to T——, away from home, as I was a little crank. I decided to go away; and after I had once decided, it seemed as if a great load had left me, and I was free again.' F.‘I was uncertain about choosing a profession. I was in a state of perplexity and restlessness; I could not lie down to restful sleep. I felt to a certain degree depressed. I was anxious for a decision, because I knew it must come. When the struggle was ended, a feeling

of relief and rest came; it almost seemed as if I had entered a new world.' F. 'A year ago I was uncertain whether to break friendship with a girl acquaintance. I thought she exerted a harmful influence, but I liked her very much. It took over a week to make the decision; all that time I had fear and depression, I could not sleep well, and lost my appetite One night, as I lay in bed, I felt I must decide. For a few moments there was a struggle in my mind that almost amounted to pain. Then I resolved to break off the friendship. After the struggle I felt a sense of weariness as well as of peace. I felt just as if I wanted to rest awhile, and soon fell asleep.' F. Since conversion I have had the same feelings when trying to decide some important question. After the decision is made, in trying to find which way is best, there comes the same peace and rest.' It is seen that, in these cases of uncertainty and relief, both the bodily and mental accompaniments are the same as those preceding and after conversion. Conversion we have interpretated, in one sense, as the conflict of the higher and lower selves, between which the life is ground until the decision comes, after which there is joy and peace.

(b) Sudden Awakenings.

These instances of sudden and apparently unaccountable awakenings of power and insight are analogous to the larger spiritual awakenings: A little boy four years old could not talk; he made queer sounds for different objects. All at once he began to talk, and said his words plainly; he could soon say everything he heard.' 'A little girl I knew well could not sing a note or carry a tune. Suddenly, one day, she came in singing "Sweet Marie" in sweet, clear voice.' F. 'I was very anxious to learn to play the piano, and would spend hours at the instrument. One day I suddenly found I could play a little waltz my sister had given me. This incited me to try another piece, and I found I could play that. F.