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John Godfrey Saxe
"YOU'RE clever at drawing, I own,"
"She's painted already," quoth I;
"Nay, nay!" said the laughing Lisette, "Now none of your joking—but try
And paint me a thorough Coquette."
"Well, Cousin," at once I began
In the ear of the eager Lisette, "I'll paint you as well as I can,
That wonderful thing, a Coquette.
"She wears a most beautiful face" ("Of course," said the pretty Lisette), "And isn't deficient in grace,
Or else she were not a Coquette.
"And then she is daintily made"
(A smile from the dainty Lisette) "By people expert in the trade Of forming a proper Coquette.
"She's the winningest ways with the beaux" ("Go on!" said the winning Lisette), "But there isn't a man of them knows The mind of the fickle Coquette!
"She knows how to weep and to sigh"
(A sigh from the tender Lisette), "But her weeping is all in my eye— Not that of the cunning Coquette!
"In short, she's a creature of art"
("Oh hush!" said the frowning Lisette), "With merely the ghost of a heartEnough for a thorough Coquette.
"And yet I could easily prove"
("Now don't!" said the angry Lisette), "The lady is always in love—
In love with herself-the Coquette!
"There do not be angry-you know,
To paint you-a thorough Coquette!"
The Stammering Wife
WHEN deeply in love with Miss Emily Pryne,
I would always endeavor to please her. She blushed her consent, though the stuttering lass Said never a word except "You're an ass—
An ass-an ass-iduous teaser!"
But when we were married, I found to my ruth,
She'd say, if I ventured to give her a jog
In the way of reproof-"You're a dog-you're a dogA dog-a dog-matic curmudgeon!"
And once when I said, "We can hardly afford
And hinted we ought to be wiser.
She looked, I assure you, exceedingly blue,
And fretfully cried, "You're a Jew-you're a JewA very ju-dicious adviser!"
Again, when it happened that, wishing to shirk
I begged her to go to a neighbor,
Out of temper at last with the insolent dame,
I mimicked her speech-like a churl that I amAnd angrily said, "You're a dam-dam-damA dam-age instead of a blessing!"
AGAIN I hear that creaking step-
Too well I know the boding sound
That ushers in a bore.
I do not tremble when I meet
But Heaven defend me from the friend
He drops into my easy chair,
And gives his candid views;
He reads my daily paper through
He calmly smokes my last cigar,
He talks about his fragile health,
Of which he ne'er complains;
And how he struggled once with death
To keep the fiend at bay;
On themes like those away he goesBut never goes away!
Whene'er he comes-that dreadful man-
I know that, like an autumn rain,