penny-worth of inkle at a shoemaker's; the eldest daughter was despatched half a mile to see a monster; and in short, the whole family of innocent children made April fools. Nay, my landlady herself did not escape him. This empty fellow has laughed upon these conceits ever since. This art of wit is well enough, when confined to one day in a twelvemonth; but there is an ingenious tribe of men sprung up of late years, who are for making April fools every day in the year. These gentlemen are commonly distinguished by the name of Biters; a race of men that are perpetually employed in laughing at those mistakes which are of their own production. Thus we see, in proportion as one man is more refined than another, he chooses his fool out of a lower or higher class of mankind; or, to speak in a more philosophical language, that secret elation or pride of heart which is generally called laughter, arises in him from his comparing himself with an object below him, whether it so happens that it be a natural or an artificial fool. It is indeed very possible, that the persons we laugh at may in the main of their characters be much wiser men than ourselves; but if they would have us laugh at them, they must fall short of us in those respects which stir up this passion. I am afraid I shall appear too abstracted in my speculations, if I show that when a man of wit makes us laugh, it is by betraying some oddness or infirmity in his own character, or in the representation which he makes of others; and that when we laugh at a brute, or even at an inanimate thing, it is at some action or incident that bears a remote analogy to any blunder or absurdity in reasonable creatures. But to come into common life: I shall pass by the consideration of those stage-coxcombs that are able to shake a whole audience, and take notice of a particular sort of men who are such provokers of mirth in conversation, that it is impossible for a club or merry-meeting to subsist without them; I mean those honest gentlemen that are always exposed to the wit and raillery of their well-wishers and companions; that are pelted by men, women, and children, friends and foes, and, in a word, stand as butts in conversation for every one to shoot at that pleases. I know several of these butts who are men of wit and sense, though by some odd turn of humour, some unlucky cast in their person or behaviour, they have always the misfortune to make the company merry. The truth of it is, a man is not qualified for a butt, who has not a good deal of wit and vivacity, even in the ridiculous side of his character. A stupid butt is only fit for the conversation of ordinary people: men of wit require one that will give them play, and bestir himself in the absurd part of his behaviour. A butt with these accomplishments frequently gets the laugh on his side, and turns the ridicule upon him that attacks him. Sir John Falstaff was a hero of this species, and gives a good description of himself in his capacity of a butt, after the following manner: Men of all sorts (says that merry knight) take a pride to gird at me. The brain of any man is not able to invent any thing that tends to laughter more than I invent, or is invented on me, I am not only witty in myself but the cause that wit is in other men.' C. No. 48. WEDNESDAY, APRIL 25. By Steele. -Per multas aditum sibi sæpe figuras Repperit OVID. Met. 1. 14, v. 652. Through various shapes he often finds access. My correspondents take it ill if I do not, from time to time, let them know I have received their letters. The most effectual way will be to publish some of them that are upon important subjects; which I shall introduce with a letter of my own, that I writ a fortnight ago to a fraternity who thought fit to make me an honorary member. To the President and Fellows of the Ugly Club. May it please your deformities, 'I have received the notification of the honour you have done me, in admitting me into your society. I acknowledge my want of merit, and for that reason shall endeavour at all times to make up my own failures, by introducing and recommending to the club persons of more undoubted qualifications than I can pretend to. I shall next week come down in the stage-coach, in order to take my seat at the board; and shall bring with me a candidate of each sex. The I shall prepersons sent to you, are an old beau and a modern Pict. If they are not so eminently gifted by nature as our assembly expects, give me leave to say, their acquired ugliness is greater than any that has ever appeared before you. The beau has varied his dress every day of his life for these thirty years last past, and still added to the deformity he was born with. The Pict has still greater merit towards us, and has ever since she came to years of discretion, deserted the handsome part, and taken all possible pains to acquire the face in which I shall present her to your consideration and favour. Iam, gentlemen, your most obliged humble servant, THE SPECTATOR.? P. S. 'I desire to know whether you admit people of quality.' ་ MR. SPECTATOR, my April 17. To show you there are among us of the vain weak sex, some that have honesty and fortitude enough to dare to be ugly, and willing to be thought so, I apply myself to you, to beg your interest and recommendation to the Ugly Club. If my own word will not be taken, though in this case a woman's may, I can bring credible witness of my qualifications for their company, whether theylinsist upon hair, forehead, eyes, cheeks, or chin; to which I must add, that I find it easier to lean to left side than my right. I hope I am in all respects agreeable; and for humour and mirth, I'll keep up to the president himself. All the favour I'll pretend to, is, that as I am the first woman who has appeared desirous of good company and agreeable conversation, I may take and keep the upper end of the table. And indeed I think they want a carver, which I can be after as ugly a manner as they can wish. I desire your thoughts of my claim as soon as you can. Add to my features the length of my face, which is full a half yard, though I never knew the reason of it till you gave one for the shortness of yours. If I knew a name ugly enough to belong to the above-described face, I would feign one; but to my unspeakable misfortune, my name is the only disagreeable prettiness about me; so prithee make one for me that signifies all the deformity in the world; you understand Latin, but be sure bring it in with my being, in the sincerity of my heart, Your most frightful admirer, and servant, MR. SPECTATOR, 'I read your discourse upon affectation, and from the remarks made in it, examined my own heart so strictly, that I thought I had found out its most secret avenues, with a resolution to be aware of them for the future. But alas! to my sorrow, I now understand, that I have several follies which I do not know the root of. I am an old fellow, and extremely troubled with the gout; but having always a strong vanity towards being pleasing in the eyes of women, I never have a moment's ease, but I am mounted in high-heeled shoes with a glazed wax-leather instep. Two days after a severe fit, I was invited to a friend's house in the city, where I believed I should see ladies; and with my usual complaisance crippled myself to wait upon them: a very sumptuous table, agreeable company, and kind reception, were but so many important additions to the torment I was in. A gentleman of the family observed my condition; and soon after the queen's health, he, in the presence of the whole company, with his own hands, degraded me into an old pair of his own shoes. This operation, before fine ladies, to me (who am by nature a coxcomb), was suffered with the same reluctance as they admit the help of men in their greatest extremity. The return of ease made me forgive the rough obligation laid upon me, which at that time |