"I'll be damned if I will," I answer.

We spent the evening at the Theater Royal where we saw a performance of the "Veterans of Variety, the Famous and Original, Previous to their World's Tour.' Chief of them was Tom Costello who looked vaguely familiar as if I had seen him once at Poli's in New Haven in the days when George Felsburg was the orchestra. A Miss Marie Collins of the Collins family was famous for "Ta-ra-ra-boom-de-ay." T. W. Barret was announced as "The One and Only. The Oldest Comedian on Any Stage." And there was a queen of burlesque who had frisked in the roaring nineties, of tired eyes now and drooping mouth when her silly act was done.

These stars blinked in a great constellation on chairs arranged in a circle, and before each act Costello made a speech in which he deplored the present sunk condition of the stage in its comparison to the better days that went before. Every one of his actors had been rescued from a shabby boarding house. Each one of them sang the song that had made him famous years before. During the early stages of the entertainment the oldest comedian alive had rested for an hour in complete detachment with chin buried in his collar and with now and then a dab at his rheumy eyes. Occasionally when an act was done he clapped his thumbs together to express approval and then sunk again to lethargy. When his turn came it was announced that "eighty frosty winters have not dulled old Barret's heart or legs"; and then he rose and performed in uncertain balance the last echo of a dance. The show

closed with a solo by Tom Costello, and all the others stood up and joined him in the chorus, "Comrades,

JULIA FLORY

His actors had been rescued from a shabby boarding house comrades, ever since we were boys," which he had made famous many years before.

If the audience showed no enthusiasm it was at

least respectful in a sodden sort of way, without the hootings that the performance deserved.

And this, I think, is a quality of English theater patrons. If ever a variety actor has entertained them, they will let him grow old and stiff upon their stage and will hold him lukewarm at least in their regard. A tradition is stronger than fresh appraisal. Like an aspidistra, though it be worn and dusty without a greener leaf, these old actors linger on in the recollection of their better days. The music halls of London are filled with performers who have lost their teeth and legs, yet their acts meet with applause and they still are headlined. A stranger will be perplexed by this and he will wonder how a wrinkled lady who sings coquettishly in fat tights can secure such an easy encore. And when at last the palaces of Leicester Square are closed against her, then she visits her artistic sins upon the provinces to the third and fourth generations of those who loved her.

When Tom Costello's chorus had been sung we mustered to great applause. I can only hope, in mercy to themselves, that these veterans of variety do not display themselves in America on their trip around the world.

As we came out of the theater a man in front of us fell down in a faint or fit, and the crowd held back so that he might be carried to the air.

"Ta-ra-ra-boom-de-ay was too much for him,” said

George.

"It was the old lady in pink tights," added Bill. We were at some trouble to gain entrance to the

hotel. The door was locked and, after much ringing, a surly porter put his head out through the grill.

"The bar is closed," he said.

"We want no drink," said Bill. "We are a little band of peripatetic philosophers (the School of Socrates from the grove named Acdemus), traveling for our instruction. Here is a shilling which you may spend in riot." "Cue," said the porter.

He admitted us, and we fell to bed.

1

JULIA FLORY

A great clock that swings above the street

CHAPTER XXX

A LONG DAY IN WHICH I CLIMB LEITH HILL

AND

ND now from Guildford our course lies east, parallel to the Pilgrims' Way until by Saturday we shall come to Canterbury where our trip will be accomplished.

I was up early to see Guildford Castle, but the others preferred an extra hour of sleep. The castle stands on