performed a double duty in transporting beauty to the ball-room, and drunkards to their cribs.

I was promptly conveyed to my destination; and, by some strange fatality, a new chief butler that very evening had succeeded the former "pantler" of Mr. Pryme. I was, of course, personally unknown to him; and having been discreetly slipped down the area steps, it was explained that "I was rather the worse of liquor, and had been mighty pugnacious into the bargain." The butler took me on his back; and without let or hindrance, I was carried to the chamber of the absent Samuel-stripped-put to bed,-promised a bowl of wheyand left in undisputed possession of the dormitory of the drunken quaker.

Two or three hours passed; and how the secret transpired I cannot guess. I was buried in profound sleep, when lights flashed across my eyes and awakened me. Through an opening in the curtains I saw three females beside the bed; and I also discovered that the apartment was a strange one.

Surprise or fear will sometimes remove the consequences of inebriety, and men become suddenly sober. I felt this singular effect. In a moment after I awoke, I was conscious that I had been lately a victim to "the rosy god ;" and that I was now, in Irish parlance, "just in the very centre of a hobble." Dipping my face beneath the counterpane,

I murmured in a growling voice-" The lights! the lights! my head, my head!"

66

Ruth," said the elder female, “remove the candles. son, what meaneth this? Art thou fallen?"

"Yes," I groaned; "I had a heavy fall, indeed."

Samuel! my

"Ah! Samuel-would that that groan were the groan of sin, and not of suffering; and that thy conscience rather than thy stomach were moved. Speak! How did the enemy overtake thee? Where did he enclose thee in his net?"

I dipped my head beneath the bed coverings, and, in a husky voice, muttered" The barracks in George's-street.'

66

Mercy on us!-Ruth-Rachel.

It is the large brick building in which abide godless men in scarlet. And how, Samuel, did the evil one achieve thy fall ?"

"One said I was floored by a charlie, and another left it upon a clip from a blackthorn."

"No, no, Samuel; I ask the carnal means. Was it by that souldestroying liquor, wine, or was it by worse?"

"Worse, worse," I mumbled in reply.

"Oh dear!" ejaculated Mrs. Pryme.

"Ah me!" responded the gentle Rachel.

"Alack, alack! continued the conscientious Ruth.

"Name the snare of the tempter."

"I'm too bashful," I grumbled.

Nay, Samuel. Close thy ears, Ruth-avert thy head, Rachel ;

he would not have his shame revealed. Was it, Samuel, a dancing

Herodias-or some Delilah, with bewitching looks ?"

No, no; worse, worse.'

"Mercy on us! Speak, and name the fatal cause."

"Punch-punch!-Whisky new-the kettle not boiled-and too much acid," came grumbling from below the blankets.

"How fearful is inebriety! Thy very voice, my son, is changed. But verily, as it is thy first offending, I will pardon it, and give thee the kiss of peace."

So saying, she popped her head through the curtains, and bestowed upon me the reconciliatory accolade. After thus sealing my pardon, the worthy gentlewoman sailed out of the apartment, accompanied by her handmaid Ruth.

I felt myself in a curious position,-located in a strange house, ensconced in a comfortable bed from which the right owner would presently eject me, and watched by a lovely girl of eighteen, on whose sweet countenance the very imprint of innocence was stamped. And what was I?-A regular impostor. Well, what was to be done? Should I admit my villany, and be bundled off direct to Newgate, under a charge of burglary, or some more felonious intentions? And to whom was this interesting confession to be made? The old dame ?— no, faith-there no kiss of peace would ratify my pardon. The young one?-pshaw, the very idea that she had been seated beside the bed of a man in scarlet would annihilate Rachel on the spot. No doubt a discovery must ensue-but, like every thing a man dislikes, I determined to procrastinate it and trust to fortune.

"Samuel," said the sweetest voice imaginable, "does thy head ache? Let me apply this essence;" and passing her hand gently through the curtains, she bathed my temples with eau-de-Cologne. My arm was outside the coverlid,-she took my hand in hers and pressed it affectionately.

"How feverish!" she murmured. "But here comes Ruth, with something our mother sends, which will allay thy thirst."

The stiff-backed abigail deposited the liquid on a table. "Come, Rachel, sleep will restore thy brother." Then addressing herself to me, "Farewell, friend Samuel,—may this be the last of thy foolishness:" and after this flattering admonition, she exited from the chamber, stiff as a ramrod.

"Farewell, dear brother,"-and Rachel again clasped my hand in hers," good night! I trust sincerely I shall find thee better in the morning."

"Stop!" I mumbled.

"What, my brother ?"

“Rachel, dear,—dear Rachel !"

"The-the-the kiss of peace!" I managed to stammer from beneath the bed coverings.

"Willingly, dear Samuel ;" and lips, "full, rosy, ripe," were artlessly pressed to mine, while a prayer, pure from a guileless heart, implored pardon for the past, and a blessing for the future. The next moment

the door was softly closed, and I" left alone in my glory."

Would it be credited that under such circumstances I had the audacity to sleep? But sleep I did—and when I slept, my head was on a peaceful pillow, and the kiss of innocence still fragrant on my lips.

CHAPTER VIII.

LIFE IN A WATCH-HOUSE

"I'll ne'er be drunk while I live again but in honest, civil, godly company, for this trick; if I be drunk, I'll be drunk with those that have the fear of God, and not with drunken knaves." Merry Wives of Windsor.

you

READER,-will make a clean breast and answer a simple question? Were you ever regularly cribbed, and deposited for safe keeping in a watch-house? Don't confound places, and suppose for a moment, that I mean those refugia peccatorum, now-a-days called "station-houses." The two are no more alike, than the London Tavern is to a boiled-beef shop. If you reply to my inquiry in the negative, and art young, I can only say the mischief is irremediableand for the best reason, because watch-houses have been defunct these twenty years. If, like myself, you are a gentleman of a certain age, and also plead ignorance-you have nothing left but to mourn over misspent time, and lament a misfortune, for which no one is blamable but yourself.

Many a jovial hour have I passed in St. Andrews-I don't mean the Scotch College so called, but the Dublin watch-house of pleasant memory; and I have also occasionally favoured with a visit other establishments of the same kind, where belated gentlemen were sure to find the door open without having the trouble of knocking twice :—but who, except 66 upon compulsion," would enter a modern bastile ? The place is in everything an abomination, and so republican wherewithal in its regulations, as to be fitted only for the reception of the canaille. There, captains and cabmen are placed upon a par. "Look to him, jailer," is the only order that is attended to; and whether you belong to swells West-end, or the swell-mob, matters not a brass button. The thing's similar all through, and you undergo the same process of purification. You are cooped up all night, thermometer in summer 110, in winter down to zero-and bundled before the Beak in the morning all "unkempt" and with "marvellous foul linen.' Of course, you are not flat enough to give your real name. If you are a tradesman, why you wish to "come it genteel," and pass for the time being as Mr. Ferdinand Fitzsnooks. If, on the contrary, you happen to be a 66 top-sawyer," you descend from your "high estate," andthough "Baron or Squire, or Knight of the Shire,”-adopt "for the nonce," the simpler appellation of Smith, Brown, or Robinson. Well, in due course, you are favoured with a hearing-the charges are proven, and the Worthy Magistrate-he's always so termed in the Sunday papers-runs you up a bill as glibly as the waitress of an eating-house. Imprimis, you are scored down five shillings for being drunk-forty ditto, for assault and battery-as much more for jingling some Doctor's bell-and the tale ends in your five-pound flimsy having got a regular sickener. You fork the money out, and prepare directly to make your