THE CHE day is at length arrived-one such day only in the year when we agree to a suspension of all murmurings and complaints; when we forget the war, and the taxes, and the hard times, to enjoy the com forts and luxuries of a Christmas dinner."

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Somehow, Sir, the gravest and wisest of us are not unconcerned in this weighty affair, and not displeased to be invited where the good things of the season are spread out in greatest plenty; and, although I am ar rived at a time of life when feasting becomes dangerous, and temperance a matter of necessity, if not choice, I cannot help saying, that an invitation on such occasions, where there is a prospect of plenty, is far from being disagreeable. A night or two ago, indeed, this matter seemed to have occupied more of my thoughts than usual; and while I was revolving some of the beautiful sentiments in that entertaining work, Mrs. Glass's Cookery, until my head became a chaos of bills of fare, and first and second courses, and desserts, I fell asleep, and dreamed a dream, which I shall presume to send you, for the benefit of those who, perhaps, never dream of any such thing.

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dreamt, Sir, that it was Thursday morning, the day after Christmas-day; and I dreamt that I was alarmed by a confused noise of voices, most of which I well knew, and knew that they were the voices of personages whom every body knows at this happy season. I began to listen; but for some time, as four or five spoke at one time, and that in a very noisy and indecent manner, I could not make out any distinct chain of argument. At length the parties, having, I suppose, agreed to some intermission, or suspension of hostilities and clamour, I could make out a considerable part of the dialogue, which I now hand

hand to you with the speakers' names; all of which are, no doubt, so familiar to your readers, that I need not describe them.

The first voice I heard was that of the Stomach, who complained of grievances and oppressions; and of being so overloaded and overworked, that he was no longer able to perform his functions with ease and effect; and, for proof of this, he would appeal to his friend Digestion. Digestion, who appeared to be in a very weak state, declared that his business' was nearly at an end; that such materials were imposed upon him as were quite out of his line; and if matters went on much longer in this way, he did not believe he should ever make a good drop of chyle while he lived. He also mentioned a number of persons who had forced themselves upon him, long after he had declared that he could go on no longer. This brought up Mr. Cod's-head, who, with some indignation, asked if either of the preceding speakers meant him He said, it was true he had come twice, perhaps thrice, into their premises, where there was then plenty of room; and things might have remained so, if he had not been followed by others who had no business there, and came there only to disturb him. He mentioned in particular Messrs. Sherry and Madeira, whose visits were so often repeated as to harden him against any thing he could do to promote Digestion, or ease his friend Stomach. Madeira answered, that his visits were certainly frequent, but they were mere visits of compliment, sometimes to the Master of the house, and sometimes to the Mistress and that, al though he had some reputation as a Physician, in cases of the gout, neither he nor his friend Sherry ever pretended to assist digestion on the contrary, they had probably been as much enemies to that operation as any of the company present. Fowl and Ham declared, that they could not be blamed for what had happened: they always travelled in the suite of

Cod's

Cod's-head; and there might have been room for all, if a number of intruders, forming a dangerous mob and known by the names of Turkey, Chine, Stews, Fricassees, and rich Soups, had not assembled toge ther and forced their way, nobody could conceive how. By this means every avenue was stopped up; and how could the business of that respectable firm, Health and Strength, go on? It was in vain, he added, that the police officers, Cogniac, Cherry, and other gentlemen of that stamp, were called in. It only increased the noise, and threatened a revolution. This remark brought up Mr. Cogniac, who assured the company, that it was always his wish, as it had been his business, to keep things quiet; and for that purpose it was well known he was frequently called in: that he had long been in the habit of serving gentlemen in that capacity, and his character was fully established, in every Corporation in England, as well as in private houses: that if he sought flattery, he might flatter himself, with his success, even among the ladies, although in their case he thought it delicate to employ his deputy Mr. Cordial, one of his own family, but who changed his name for the express purpose of tendering his services, where, from principles of conscience, the Cogniacs, a French fa mily, might not be admitted.

This brought up the first speaker, Mr. Stomach, again, who said, that Mr. Cogniac's ingenious speech might flatter himself, but would flatter no one else. After all his vapouring about keeping things quiet, it was notorious, and the company had many sensible proofs of it, that he made as much noise as any one; and, in proportion to the frequency of employ ing him, every thing was thrown more into confusion, As to himself, he would repeat, that he had a certain quantity of room to spare, but that those who supposed he could enlarge his premises on certain days, were egregiously mistaken; yet such strange opinions

were

were abroad upon this subject: that he now knew no difference between Sundays, and Fast-days, and Lord Mayors'-days and Easter Mondays, or even Christmasdays! He would again appeal to his friend. Digestion, if this was not true; and if that should not be thought good evidence, there were others then present who might speak with effect to the question.

Here he was interrupted by a person in a coat of curious mixture, whose name I was told was Plumpudding, and who begged to be heard a few minutes. He said, that while he allowed the truth of much that had been said, he hoped some indulgence would be shown to him and his friend Mince-pye, who never troubled them but once a year: for himself, he might appear oftener, and he would say nothing for those who took extraordinary liberties with him, long after they might have been completely satisfied. But on the present occasion, he hoped that himself and his friend would be indulged, as it was well known their attachment to the church rendered their presence necessary. Some years ago, the presence of Plum-pudding and Mince-pye formed the touchstone of churchmen and dissenters, none of the latter daring to join in superstition! It was true, he added, that times were now altered, and he knew some Noncons, who were as intimate with him and his friend as the bench of Bishops, Deans, and Prebendaries, could be. He hoped, therefore, some allowance would be granted, not that he cared much about it; as he came in last, it was probable he might be turned out first.

This speech threw the assembly into such confusion, that nothing more could be heard distinctly, and I was listening for another quiet interval, when a tre mendous noise dismissed the whole assembly, without order or étiquette, and I awoke, and behold it was a dream! But what, Sir, if this dream should be realized in the experience of any of my readers? Dec, 25, BUNYAN, JUN.

Yours,

END OF THE FIFTEENTH VOLUME.

5. GOSNELL, Printer, Little Queen Street, London.