*

It may be that to raise his name,

T

And add to his uncommon fame,
(Fame growing out of mighty works
Pois'ning his troops, and murd'ring Turks,)
This business will be done:this blow
up
Take place, great Monarch, ere you grow up.
Let not the greatness of my plan
Lead you to think 't is not for man
T'accomplish such a vast design,
As that which I avow as mine
I wish you only to retrace

What revolutions have ta'en place,
Not those which made your father king,
(I would not speak of such a thing,)
But those which learned scribes disclose,
As science and invention rose :
Reflect, Sir, powder was invented,
And then, Sir-you must feel contented.
In planning this, my first great view
Is but to show my love for you;
Yet (though not greedy after pelf)
I must confess I like myself;
And, if I open in this trade,

I could, Sir, wish-to be well paid.
I shall expect my work well done,
A thousand francs for every gun.

Now, Sir, soon as the haughty foe
Shall feel the meditated blow,

9307

A

Their ships, perhaps, they will abandon,
That you with ease their coasts may land on:
Or-England, if I don't befriend her,
May quickly all her fleets surrender;
Unless, indeed, she should reduce 'em,
And never from her harbours loose 'em.
For all reduc'd, or prizes made,

I humbly hope I shall be paid;

Though, Sir, (you must have notic'd it,)797 ni
I'm apt my interest to forget. arts, banqué ma

Now render'd master of the seas, art, wandi
You may let ports out as you please;
These can be rented, understand,
Just as some kingdoms are on land.

England,

で

England, then prostrate at your feet,
For peace on any terms must treat;
Her power thus shook to dissolution,
You'll lay her under contribution.
Then, Sir, before you grant her peace,
Before you bid your thunders cease,
Be this your language firm and bold,
"While yet the brand of war I hold,
As you are most completely beaten,
This basis only will I treat on,
That you, without the least delay,
Two millions to Bob Fulton pay.”

Observe, great King, I am not greedy,
Though, truth to say, I'm rather needy,
And, prosecuting these great labours,
Have been annoy'd much by my neighbours,
Who, jeering, oft my feelings hurt,
Because I go without a shirt.

For this, sure no man ought to flout one,
E'en you, great King, were born without one.
Pray mark my moderation well;

The profits of my plan I'll sell,

For this small sum; and this not France,
But humbled England, must advance.
This proves my plan is no vain vision,
And ought not to call forth derision.
A native of a neutral state,

I thought I had a right to wait,
Before I brought my plan to light,
To see who'd best my pains requite.
So first to England, Sir, I went,
And thence my mighty engines sent
Against your fleet, but with th' intention,
That you should profit by th' invention.
However France might feel alarm,
I never meant to do her harm;
On England, after all her toil,
I knew the project would recoil;
But us'd by France against her foe,
It never can recoil-you know.

It may, perhaps, be in your breast,
I some one else might have address'd,
Communicating this my plan

To an experienc'd naval man;
But sailors, Sir, will always scout it;
They won't, who nothing know about it:
This feeling makes me send to you;
Doubt it who will, Sir, this is true.

I am, great King!

Your Majesty's most devoted humble servant,

ROBERT FULTON,

ME

TO A MISER.

[From the Morning Chronicle, Aug. 3.]

EN say you are wealthy, but falsely, I'm sure,
And thus can I prove it, my friend;

You have not a penny to give to the poor,

Nor have you a penny to spend.

You keep, it is true, an abundance of pelf;
But that's for your heirs, it is not for yourself,

THE UNDERTAKER'S BLUNDER,

A TRUE TALE.

[From the British Press, Aug. 3.]

IN Derby died lately, poor dear Mistress Young,

An excellent woman as ever was seen;

On her husband and servants she toil'd with her tongue,
And kept them in order; and kept her house clean.

Now, poor dear Mistress Young, having got rather old,
That is, between fifty and sixty I wot,

Could no longer breathe-therefore, no longer scold→→
For Death stuff'd his stopper down Mistress Young's

throat!

When

When dumb to the dark undertaker was sent,
With orders to cover her up very soon 31

And tell on the plate from the wide world she went :
To the narrow world on the eleventh of June...

But this fellow, so stupid, was sure never fit,
Not even in Derby, to live by the dead;
For he put on the plate, Mary Young obiit
The fourteenth of June, of the eleventh instead.
With this blundering mistake, overdating her date,
The coffin for dear Mistress Young was sent home-
Into which she was popp'd, by the mark on her plate,
Just two days à priori her death-day was come.

Now, it must be confess'd, it would look rather queer
To bury a lady the day ere she died!'

So the plate must be alter'd, to make it appear,

'T was not meant prematurely the lady to hide. So to scraping, and rasing, and punching, they fell, While discons' late relations all stood by to weep; And with punching and rasing, most wond'rous to tell, They awoke Mistress Young from her death-looking sleep. Then she scolded amain, and she scolded againAnd admir'd what the devil they all were about! She protested to God, all their labour was vain, For she would not be buried till life's flame went out. And she rav'd all that day-but her spirit, so vext

At the thought of their wicked and hellish design, Could not bear her out longer--and, lo! on the next, She was forc'd, in good earnest, her breath to resign. Then no rasings were needful, the plate turn'd out right;" The doleful death-bell does most dismally sound; In her coffin they screw'd poor dear Mistress Young tight, And gently they lower'd her into the ground.

REMARKS ON A JOURNEY TO SCOTLAND.

SIR,

A$

[From the General Evening Post, Aug. 3.]

TO THE Editor.

S I was some time since travelling down to the north, a portfolio was brought to me by the waiter at an inn, where I stopped to change horses, with a request that I would deliver it to an elderly gentleman, should I chance to overtake him, who had left it behind him there a few minutes before I arrived. As, however, I had not the fortune to overtake the gentleman, and have never been able to trace him, I opened the portfolio a short time ago, with a view of discovering the owner by its contents. In this object I was disappointed; but I found amongst its contents some speculations, so new and curious, that I cannot help feeling a wish that the public may, through the medium of your paper, be informed of them, whilst at the same time such a publication may give to the owner an opportunity of reclaiming his property. The first sheet I examined, contained "Remarks on a Journey to Scotland, relative to the effects of my Bill;" of which remarks, the following extracts may serve to give some idea :

Three miles on this (the Scotch) side of Barnet, met the old Stamford Fly, eighteen outsides."

Four P. M.Biggleswade, N. one mile, York Highflyer, boxes on top ten inches by observation, above Act. Q. Whether my quadrant is correct?"

Six o'clock Passenger driving Edinburgh mail." 9a Broad-wheel waggons, enormous weights, wheels conic sections Q. Whether parabolic or hyperbolic?"

Several sheets were filled with similar notes, of which the above is a sufficient specimen. I found also what appeared to be minutes of a proceeding at the Board of Agriculture, "and a project for a British Herring Fishery