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old bed-ridden Parson close by, who is greatly plagued, as it would scem, by a Constitution, at which he diverts his spleen with perpetually railing, because he has grown too feeble to take any further liberties with it.
On Dr. Solid's departure, I sat down to give you the substance of what he said, before it should slip my inemory. By the hy, on reading the letter in The Morning Chronicle “ about chess-playing,' appeared hali inclined 10 make some observations on that game, which perhaps he may favour me with on a future occasion.
I am, Sir, your humble servant, and (except when this cursed Newsman plays me a trickj your constant reader,
HENRY HOPEFUL. W-bledon, Aug. 13, 1810.
AN ARGUMENT FOR THE MODERN UNDRESS.
[From the Morning Herald, Aug. 18.]
Was free from dress, and knew no harm in't;
'T was then she first put on a garment.
No man of sense can think so odd is,.
Of wearing clothes upon their bodies.
And thus excuse their want of dress;
unblemisli'd virtue better,
THE TEARS OF MARGATE; OR, DECORUM IN
[From the same] BELLA, horrida bella - The spirit of revolution
and usurpation is at work at Margate; and King Le Bus, like the Grand Turk, is now tottering on his throne ! But hear the dreadful tidings, O reader !
One account says, that on the last Assembly night, when the widow Slybools, from Crooked Lane, was calling to the band to play “ The Devil among the Tailors,” the monarch of the dance waved his necromantic wand of office, and the band ceased as suddenly as if Deaih had given the word of command.
The waiter was ordered to put out the lights, as the prescribed hour of separation had arrived; when some officers (mirabile dictu !) broke the long extinguisher in two, and threw it into Cecil Square!
" There was a situation !" “ Why do you open that window?” questioned the M. C. strutting up to the offender like ihe King of Bantam~"" To throw out a dirty stocking,” rejoined the insurgents: and the principal was in the act of seizing the little arbiter of elegance, when Terpsichore interfered,' in the shape of the Spirit of Loyalty, and, by placing a slice of lemon under the left foot of the aggressor, he, luckily, stumbled, which gave the alarmed Monarch a happy opportunity to escape, which he incontinently did fu la sourdine) by strides, which his abridged anatomy was heretofore deemed unequal to. Thus the innovators remained masters of the field, while that demon Democracy hovered round the roof in ecstacy, flapping ber sooty wings at this signal overthrow of royalty and right!
The M. C. was fortunately discovered the ensuing morning by one of the wailers, who “ nosed him going to the lobby.” He had dexterously taken refuge in 'the china-closet, and was found squatting, à la Turque, at the bottom of a punch-bowl, but without his regulia, and shorn of his beams-ah! how unlike his great self!
ANOTHER ACCOUNT. Miss Debby Waddle, of Leather Lane, declared at the hoy fair, that the Sieur Le Bas remonstrated with a field-officer for dancing with spurs, contrary to his mandates, when the indignant son of Mars, taking his fair partner with one hand, and seizing the M. C. by the waistband of his inexpressibles with the other, rammed him into his coat-pocket, and actually finished the dance with this king of forms, thus incarcerated, who peeped and disappeared alternately, like the jacks of a harpsichord, when Dussek is running the allegro divisions of a sonata; calling lustily, but in vain, upon bis merry subscribers for mercy, and a habeas corpus !
ANOTHER ACCOUNT. Some say, that when he was dragged from the abyss of the punch-bowl, exhausted with lachrymal floods, and the pangs of a diseased soul, be was fanned into returning energy by Mr. Kidman's cook : when he first looked round him in wild dismay, like Ajax miror when he awoke in Tartarus, he ejaculated one emphatic exclamation, and no more, viz.
or All hell shall stir for this.'' Three several committees of fashion have sate, successively, in Divan, upon this lamented event, in order to adjust the differences between the aggrieving and the aggrieved ; bat, ere they could come to a conclusion, the iron toe of pecuniary necessity bath kicked a majority on board of some friendly Hoy, whose sails were unbending for the classical and renowned port of Billingsgate. Thus the aflair stands at present, for rest it cannot,
We will not pledge ourselves for the literal verity of either of the above accounts, though we believe that each is substantially true.
The following is the remnant of a descriptive dilty which hath been made upon this unpleasant occasion, and is now sung through the Isle of Thanet, and promises to be as popular as “ Chevy Chase," or "Malbrook." It is attributed to the powerful and poignant pen of Mr. Fawcett, the comedian, who is now here on a flying visit to Hygeia, to buy half a yard of health for winter's wear; and who is well known to be au fuit on such emergencies.
God prosper long our noble King,
Who rules each sturdy Briton;
Whom Athletæ have spit on!
Wbat now flows from my penna;
Nor Paris, nor Vienna.
An assembly and a hop,
And 's forc'd to-shut up shop ?
Shall life's delights be o'er?
Shall Manners be no more?
By Treason, or par hazard,
And Anguish writhe his mazzard !
Kind as the May-morn breeze,
And seem'd but pleas'd to please!
Let tulips close their calices,
And Dignity is dead!
A Drimmundah from “ Shelah."
Although of little size;
And cannot do without it; !
I'll tell you all about it.
Margate, Aug. 22.
the habitudes of some of the piebald gentry who visit this renowned port, Mr. Le Bas hath issued the following official announcement :
“ The Master of the Ceremonies requests that no gentleman will come to the rooms in houts, or pantalouins, or trowsers (military gentlemen in uniform exsepted), as they will not be admitted, it being contrary to the orders and regulations of ihe place.
The ensuing lines were posted, last night, under this Ukase of authority :
Tut! tut! Le Bas, ne'er fume and fret,
And go, and live at Dover.