racters upon it, they must give an ideal value to the -pieces of money denominated crowns, half-crowns, and shillings, by which its currency is effectuated, through the medium of a coin under their sanction, and exchangeable for their paper, so base that all temptation to melt it will be removed, and so peculi. arly bad, that it can be only circulated throughout the country and the metropolis. This is the only rational . hope of cure under the circumstances—and if you deem the plan of consequence enough to obtain a place in your columns, you shall have further details on the subject from your humble, servant,

AT

EPIGRAM.

[From the British Press, April 11.]

Ta damsel, whose manners were formal and cold,
My satirical friend oft would banter and scold

And when to a Rose the sweet maid I compar'd,

Then, by G-, she's a Prim Rose," the railer declar'd.

FROM FADYEEN, IN LONDON, TO HIS FATHER PAT, IN DUBLIN, ON THE PRESENT STATE OF PUBLIC AFFAIRS.

[From the Morning Herald, April 13.3:

"Honi soit qui mal y pense.'

IT's a letter you'd have now, is that what you'd say ?

Well, I'll write you a true one, but in my own way! You would know 'bout the Prince; no one dare touch a

hair of him

2

Bad luck to Hygeia if she don't take care of him.
His Highness hath had a magnificent levee,

When placemen and flatterers flew in a bevy,
Like plovers in Munster: the Outs and the Ins

Scamper'd up stairs in groups, and kick'd each other's shins;

Then

Then they bow'd to the earth, and so low, 't was surprising,
Just as Persians will worship the Sun when it's rising.
Then some slaver'd his hand, with deceit in their eyes;
But show me the honey, I'll show you the flies!
Now the niorn of that day was at first overcast,
But the rains were put off till the cavalcade past.

Common Councilmen met t'other day in the city,
To sustain the true Prince, when some arguments witty
Were rais'd and enforc'd both by Wn and Q-n,
Who rose up to knock down political sin;

One's an Irishman, daddy, and gave them some noise for it, He broach'd Latin by quarts, but you know we're the boys for it;

Though their foes would admit their irrefutability,

Yet they prated from spite, as boys spit in hostility;
There were two Master Dns, who kept famous shops,
They are both sleek and comely, though fatten'd on slops,
Who thought the Prince fitted by nature to lead 'em,
Yet they thought some restrictions would further his freedom:
But all parties agreed that his heart 's big as any,
And to save poor Britannia he 'd spend his last penny.
One affirm'd (but 't' was envy) that Tartlet was like
The man who would wound, but was fearful to strike ;
For he said, then he qualified, frown'd, and grew hot,
And now he would grant it, and now he-would not;
Till the dealer in dowlas blaz'd forth like the sun,
Then the mist
st was dispell'd, and the Sophist was done,
While Gog and Magog, with a true civic fire,

Drank The Prince and Great Britain" in Whitbread's entire. When they'd made the Address, and had cramm'd it with pointýralega

Full as plums in a pudding, they sat to appoint
How the Corporate Body should move to Pall Mall
In a manner becoming themselves; when it fell
To the lot of the Mayor to be jogging on first, !
And the Aldermen follow'd, as Aldermen must;
Clubbing testers apiece, t' elude credit's reproach,{{
Common Councilmen went, seven deep, in la coach; f
With ideas, or beef, in each ponderous nob, andvik H
A most brilliant, delectable, mazarine mob!, onda song #

13

As they crept up the staircase towards the state room,
The noses of three smelt a turtle-fraught fume,

That came, like strong odours, from Carlton House kitchen;
When, craz'd by an incense so rich and bewitching,

They were slinking towards the state cooks to implore 'em, When the Shrives seiz'd the gourmands, and drove them before 'em.

While, with measure emphatic, their worthy Recorder Read the Prince his first lesson, they all kept in order: Though some say the C- -r scratch'd 'neath his wig, And P-1 redden'd, and B- t look'd big.

But when it was over they rush'd tow'rds the throne,
Το pay their obedience, soul, body, and bone;
Where the Patriot sat, so benignant, so gay,

If

Beaming pleasure and hope, like a Midsummer's day!
Father Pat, it would do your heart good, do ye see,
you could but peep at him, on state-days, like me;
While Dignity sits, with plain Truth, on his crest,
Politeness and Mercy inhabit his breast.

I've been told, but the tale is a tissue of fun,
That they tie up his legs, then invite him to run;
That they've thrown him large handfuls of power invidious,
But to give gen'rous rights had been truly fastidious!
That they 've ask'd him to sit at the head of the seat,
But then they've denied him the power to eat!
He may flog the whole crew, and endanger the ship,
But he must not allow them one toothful of flip..

I'm inform'd there are some who 're afraid that His ... Highness...

Should be civil to you, that's the cause of their shyness,
Because you have sent for the Pope (so they say),

And have ta'en him a lodging upon the blind Quay ;
Where his name's on the door, and they say you'll soon

find it,

But you'll use patent optics because it's behind it.
Old John H- -n swore, t' other day, in a pother
(For I heard it from one who heard it from another),
Should the Pope get in Dublin, he'd certainly swallow
All the Church at one gulp, and the State would, soon

follow;

That the De'il would ride rough-shod through Lincoln and
London,

And the Bank be whereas'd, and poor Hymen be undone
And John Bull gorges all these predictions presumptive, d
As the sick gobble buttermilk when they're consumptive...
Methought, as I slept t' other night (I'd been vapoury),!
A large Lady came to me in fine azure drapery;
With an anchor she held in her fist by a rope,

1

And a bouquet of shamrock; she call'd herself Hope,
"What d'ye want?" I bawl'd out, when I saw her eyes
glisten;

When she said, " Pat, nae bocklish, but sit still and listen:
Now Shelah, at length, may expect Nature's dower;
Now Erin may smile that a Patriot hath power:
Let her provinces gladden! Bid Leinster beware;
And Connaught be temp'rate, and Munster forbear :
Let bold, fecund Ulster draw bliss from her doom,
While Honour and Industry sing at their loom;
For her sons shall enjoy what the Zealots denied her,
And Love loose those bands with which Prejudice tied her;
As the harp of her Minstrel shall sound from the hills,
And each breeze catch the stanza that Gratitude wills;
Till Napoleon mourns that such joy is before us,
While the Virtues and Loyalty join in the chorus.”

P. S. I am now in the doldrums; but when I get better,
I will send you by post t'other half of this letter.
On the seventeenth ult. all the sons of Saint Pat
Din'd together to honour the day, and all that;
When Benevolence sparkled around the huge table,.
And each gave to Charity what he was able:

Then the song went around, and the glee and the toast,
And each strove to prove who should love Ireland most;
Till the skylight was wet with the dews of the eve,
And sober Discretion jogg'd Mirth by the sleeve !
Poor Richard can't fashion his means to his ends;
But you know Dick 's a wit, and a wit hath no friends.

I 4

Tell

Tell the Widow Mullowney, I'm hers till I die,

She's got a snug farm, you know, just near Athy ;
Lord E-

-y once told me she's worth a Jew's eye!

SCARCITY OF SILVER.

TO THE Editor of THE MORNING CHRONICLE.
[April 17.]

SIR,

IAM sure, if that worthy man George Fisher, accountant, the well-known author of the Young Man's best Companion, were alive, he would in his questions for exercise have introduced the following

is

If a light guinea be worth in paper currency 14.4s. 3d. what is a heavy guinea worth in the same currency ?Answer, l. 4s. 6d." When the little boy, after a great deal of puzzling, had made out the answer, I think I see the venerable George Fisher mildly chucking his pupil under the chin, and thus addressing this decimal fraction of a tradesman's large family: "My dear Bobby, this sum is only to be worked on a slate, from whence it can be readily spunged off; but you must not enter it into your sum-book, because, my dear Bobby, though right by the rule of three, it wrong by the rule of fact; a heavy guinea is worth but 17. 18. in the paper currency."-" But one pound, one!" exclaims Bobby; "why, I multiplied the third by the second, and divided by the first, and the answer came out 1l. 4s. 6d.' "Ah! but, my dear Bobby," replies George Fisher," the bankers have so multiplied the paper, and so divided their bonusses, that in this instance the common rules of arithmetic are entirely violated; yea, the very intrinsic value of things is changed; for, lo! a light guinea is more valuable, with reference to Bank-notes, than a heavy guinea; for the light guinea you can get 17. 4s. 3d. and for the heavy guinea but il. Is." This is very strange,'

says

e