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For myself, I shall always obey your commands;
I remain, &c. &c. F. B--RD-IT. Mr. G. P. and Mr. R. H.
THE SAILOR'S CREED.
[From the same, July 31.] AS $ a Sailor, while working my passage through life,
Many hands I with grief oft remark, Dishearten'd at failures in this scene of strife,
In despair let chance pilot their bark.
Stupify'd they relinquish the oar:
Beneath e'en a lubber on shore.
Averse to our hopes the wind veer'd,
On our starboard-side breakers appear'd.
« All is over our efforts are vain ! In less than a glass, at the bottom, Jack, we Shall be strangers to fear, hope, or pain !
" The wind still against us continues to blow;
Ev'ry chance of escaping is past;
For the leak, messmate, gains on us fast !". “ Well, brother,” said I, " with fear yield not the ghost,
If so be as how danger you scan ;
Do your duty, and die like a man!”
Each his part anxious well to perform ;
And iv safety we weather'd the storin.
Though calamities fast on us press,
And superior we rise to distress,
I regard not the end of a rope.
Ay-and still let our anchor be Hope.
And, the shoals of adversity pass'd,
We shall gain a fair haven at last.
Though unprincipled arrogant elves
Yet, if Britons are true to themselves, Their daring illusions must quickly decay,
Nor longer our glories deform. With Bt, Tran's sons will, in trembling dismay,
View the Albion weather the storm.
THE PERFECT AGREEMENT.
[From the British Press, Aug. 2.] RIED a wealthy old Cit t'other day to bis Wife,
I laugh at these men who have fail'd--one and all
“ And « And I,” said his Lady,
approve your remarkFor I said just the same-t' other night-to our Clerk.”
BINDER of Books-a small Volume of Love
Address'd a rich Widow in suit most profound : « Fair Lady, if you but my courtship approve,
You will find me well letter'd and handsomely lound. “ That style,” cried the Widow, my Library meets For I hear that your Works took but poorly in Sheets.”
ON A CELEBRATED BOOK OF COOKERY.
[From the Morning Post, Aug. 8.] AN Authoress, of culinary fame,
Skill'd in the art which practice long had taught her, In cooking greens, if well you 'd do the same, Most wisely bids you
so boil them in cold water,""
LONG AND SHORT HORNED BREEDERS.
[from the British Press, Aug. 14.]
I attempt not to argue, unless as a jest;
Then success to John Bull, and his horns, which are strong,
TRICKS OF NEWSMEN.
TO THB EDITOR OF THE MORNING POST.
[Aug. 17.] SIR, I AM afraid you must do me the favour to provide
me with another Newsman; the person who has hitherto supplied me with papers I have long known to be an idle fellow and a drunkard; but, for the sake of his large family, mere compassion has induced me to persevere in employing him. But now, Sir, be. sides going down in the world, he has turned politician it seems, and quite an arrant patriot, at least I judge so from a certain twist he has taken in the way of forwarding my newspapers. It was only this morning that he had the impudence to send me down a certain “ Talent” Journal, instead of your decent, steady dhorning Post; and, to complete the joke, the fellow was wise enough to stick a scrap of writingpaper between the folds, half covered with stains of tobacco and porter, on which he had contrived to scratch, in a scarce legible hand;
« SIR-Llope you'll excuse me sending you that d-nin-u Pust any longer–no sober Gemman can bear to read it. I gives you our to-day, and you 'll find a particular good account of Welsly, and of great use to the cause.
Sir, am yours,
“ GREG. GRUMELE." When we had done laughing at this characteristic puff, I gave the paper to my friend Dr. Solid, who happened to be present (my wife, poor woman, being
troubled with a flatulency, had sent for him); but all the account the good Doctor could give us of “ Welsly” was, that in one part of the paper there appeared to be a pass in the rear of his army, which the French would find absolutely impregnable; and in another part of the same' Journal, Welsly,” Sir, was transformed into a chess-player, who knew that he “must be finally check-mated,” move in what direction he pleased.
Dr. S. appeared to muse for a few seconds, and then, raising his spectacles on his forehead, he turned
" My good friend, Hopeful, it seems passing strange that such things should be in such a country as this; but I have for some time observed, and you know I I am a pretty close observer, that the Editors of two or three of the London Journals have of late been afflicted with a train of disorders, which, on different occasions, and in different constitutions, assume a variety of aspects :—the leading diagnostic strikes me to be, a depression of spirits, accompanied by frequent eructations of foul wind-an utter loathing of all wholesome and nutritious aliment, or a speedy rejection of it, if accidentally swallowed-a voracious craving for all sorts of acid, bitter, and even bony substances, utterly indigestible by any healthy stomach-together with a perpetual fretfulness, peevishness, and moroseness, venting itself in passionate exclamations on things in general, but more particularly on public affairs, and in strange contradictions of their own stories. In short, many of the symptoms are those of mere dyspepsia ; but there are numberless anomalies which I have not yet mentioned, and for which, in truth, I am at a loss to account, A curious coincidence in point of time is, that the complaint never appeared io take a serious turn until the hopes of the Spaniards began to revive, and espe