WE

TO LORD STANHOPE.

[From the Morning Post, Feb. 12.]

HEN lately, my Lord, full of wit and Joe Miller,
Or, what's the same thing, of Tom Tegg's new
"Care Killer,"

It seems you thought proper their Lordships to favour
With the practice and plan of a whimsical shaver,
Who, 'stead of a penny (as goes this rare story),
Exacted three halfpence for shaving each Tory,}
This statement you made with such humour and grace,
That all laugh'd—and their mirth we securely may trace
Το
your story-your manner-your
voice-or your face.
Now, my Lord, a strange change (as perhaps you have
heard),.

Since your Lordship was witty, has somehow occurr'd;
Which change (though a Bull stares me full in the face),
Is simply an order, no change shall take place:
The consequence is, certain crafty old Foxes

Are forc'd both in power and place to have proxies.
This fact, which bad baffled the guess of a wizard,
May tickle your Lordship, and stick in your gizzard
And some have presum'd an idea to harbour,

It might chance to affect in some measure your barber :
As Tories' long faces were once made his sport,
While joy made Whig phizzes uncommonly short,

}

What has happen'd 't is thought at his system might strike,
And induce him to charge the two parties alike.
Or, to use other words, he his int'rest might see,
In assuming once more, for his motto, O. P.
This, however, you'll say, might be too far to go,
As enough were express'd if he simply put O!
But my motive for writing I've not express'd yet;
Alas! like Lord Grenville, myself I forget.
This is briefly the case; with respect to friend Strap,
I expect that some sneering, some insolent chap,
Some question or other may suddenly ask,

To answer which might prove a difficult task,
Unless you beforehand a proper response

Take care to lay up in your Lordship's wise sconce.

This fearing (although I am happy to learn,
At once you can almost to any thing turn,

In the book I have nam'd, which so often you quote,
And which, by-the-bye, you have got half by rote),
I have thought it my duty to send a reply,

Which, of course, you'll be sure to lay carefully by,
And keep, with your Lordship's next speech, cut and dry.
When the question is ask'd, pray, my Lord, do not stammer
(I know you won't blush) like a boy with his grammar;
But answer, without any flurry or doubt,

If on this subject any one kicks up a rout:
"My Lords, you have little occasion to grin,
Though you're not turned out, we are all taken in :
And as to my tonsor, I'll say, once for all,

He'll not raise the Whig, nor the Tory price fall;

He still charges the same, and contends there's no wrong,
As the beard of the Tory is frequently long.

But the Prince having firmly resolv'd, on reflection,
The Whigs shall not have of affairs the direction,
Has not only given the party a dose,

But shav'd All the Talents' so plaguily close,

That no trouble in dressing their beards he can have,
As, alas! none can now hold their heads up to shave."
THE BARBER OF BAGDAT.

TO THE EDITOR OF THE MORNING CHRONICLE.

SIR,

[Feb. 13.]

IN looking over the papers of my late worthy friend Mr. Scrip, one of the few dealers in loans who understand Horace, I found the following effusion of gratitude, dated about six years back. It is quite at your service to print or throw away; only if you are inclined to let it see the light, you had better first consult a Lawyer. It may be a libel, you know, though neither you nor I can find it out.

Yours, &c.

E. B.

HORACE,

HORACE, BOOK IV. ODE III. imitated.

THE man whom Pitt with favour eyes,
And sends for, when he wants supplies,
Shall never gain renown by showing
Himself at boxing-matches knowing;
Nor shall the plate his coursers gain
Triumphant on Newmarket's plain;
Nor him shall fame in glorious war
Adorn with riband or with star,
For having giv'n the French a roasting,
And prov'd Imperial threats vain boasting;
But fertile jobs and contracts strange,
The mysteries of Stock Exchange,
"Blest paper-money *," loans divine,
Shall make in City annals shine.
Me gracious London, Queen of towns,
With never-fading glory crowns:
She long has counted me among,
Of amiable rich men, her throng;
And now, with wealth and honour grac'd,
I far from Envy's reach am plac'd.
Enchanter Pitt! whose magic sway

Money and credit both obey;

Whose potent word can make (God knows)
E'en Irus rich as old George Rose !.

To thee I owe the rapture sweet,

To hear, while passing Lombard Street,
Young clerks exclaim, in wond'ring tone,
"That's he that took the last year's loan."
That I no longer starve, but see
Crowds for my dinners bend the knee,
All, all, great Pitt, is due to thee.

* Pope.

SHILLINGS

SIR,

SHILLINGS AND SIXPENCES.

[From the Public Ledger, &c. Feb. 14]

TO THE EDITOR.

AS you have inserted a paragraph respecting our intended petition, I hope you will not refuse to admit this short letter, the object of which is to correct some mistakes in the aforesaid paragraph.

It is not true, Sir, that we are petitioning to be put upon the half-pay list. Our loss of property, ́it is true, is great, and our weight with the Public not what it has been; but our services are at present too much in demand for us to ask for half-pay, when, if Government did us justice, we should be entitled to full-pay, and our numbers be so increased as to enable us to show our faces again without shame or fear.

But the greatest error in your account is, where you insinuate that there are among us some who counterfeit health, in order to procure themselves a precarious livelihood. That there are counterfeits, I will not deny; but they are not of us, nor of our family. We are all natives of the city of London, born in Tower Ward, where our registers may be seen. The counterfeits you allude to are of a large town in Warwickshire, and certainly find their way to London, as other country folks do, to push their fortune. They may be distinguished from our family, however, by their habits of life, frequenting coffee-houses and taverns, where they associate with gay young men, after the second or third bottle, when they cannot know one set of features from another, and are very apt to be taken in by those smooth-faced Birmingham fellows. They are also not unfrequently to be seen

at

at turnpike-gates, where they herd with an inferior species of their countrymen, of a copper colour.

If we have any wish, Sir, it is, that encouragement may be given to the increase of those legitimate families, who have ever afforded satisfaction to the Public, who are not ashamed to show their face-a face which every loyal man delights to see, and to exhibit in an impressive manner those honourable marks that distinguish the component parts of this kingdom.Without such encouragement, however, we must continue a despised and undervalued race, incapable of any useful change, and unworthy of the nation to 'which we belong.

We are, Sir, yours, &c.

THE AFORESAID,

"THIS ENLIGHTENED AGE.”

[From the British Press, Feb. 15.]

and

WE E are either in a state of primeval simplicity, when the tree of knowledge was as yet untouched; or we have carried the one which followed. to such an extreme of perfection, that they meet, knavery and imposture walk abroad unmasked. In the present day, craft perpetually overleaps itself; or the rich in strength or weakness constantly prove too. much. I shall note two or three cases.

Look at those bugbears "The Revolutionary Plu tarch," and Mr. Goldsmith's Secret History of the Cabinet of Buonaparte."-These works it pleases our political sciolists to encourage and propagate; but would it not be well to reflect, that though we may abuse and calumniate our enemy, we cannot change his fortune, or lower his high estate; and, that so assiduously to instruct the multitude in all that concerns Napoleon's family, viz. that, though now Kings, they were formerly plebeians, is not so much to bring