is all sport,-not in "sober earnest may you take what is said, since soberness is supposed to be wholly irrelevant to so light a subject. And then too the effect of this practice on the feelings and deportment of the parties most nearly concerned, even during their engagement,-if this take place amid the bandying of jests,-is often unhappy. The same levity pervades their conversation and manners toward one another; and there is scarcely one sober sentiment, or calm thought, associated with their interviews. So also has this habit a blighting influence upon the views with which the individuals are at length joined in marriage. What was commenced in gaiety and sport, and has been continued in the same spirit, is consummated in thoughtlessness. It is only when these scenes of mutual delusion and folly are over, and the two beings are united by an inseparable bond, and begin to feel the pressure of real duty and actual life, that they look on each other as rational creatures ought. The words sacred and principle, the thought of responsibility to God, ideas of solemnity, are now for the first time associated with marriage, Can this condition of mind be other than deleterious to the virtue, peace and happiness of the parties involved in its effects? "O there is nothing holier, in this life of ours, than the first consciousness of love,-the first rising sound and breath of that wind, which is so soon to sweep through the soul, to purify, or to destroy!" So let every young maiden deem of this sentiment. None will then banter words with her upon her sacred affections; for there will be that in her air and language, when this topic is referred to, which shall convince every one that she holds it a consecrated theme. In summing up my general remarks on the view to be taken of love, I would say, talk little with your companions about it; and resolve, if the topic can only be introduced by a jest, that you will preserve upon it a profound silence. This would at first make you appear singular. But such a course would soon commend itself to every considerate friend and acquaintance in your circle. Or, if some should persist in importuning and teazing you in regard to it, you would be sustained by the consciousness of exerting all your influence for the elevation of society in their views, and conversation, on the most holy of human connections. Nor should the mind be permitted to dwell constantly upon this subject. Some are perpetually imagining themselves in love; others are dreaming over the philosophy of the affections, and wasting precious hours upon that which adds nothing to their happiness, and does little to prepare them for married life. Let the mind be kept tranquil on this subject; the heart will then be preserved in its soundness. No good affection will die or decay, but, in the time and method ordained by Providence, advances will be made, and the heart addressed, and the hand solicited for marriage. Let the young maiden bide the passing months in cheerfulness, and prepare herself for a Christian life. A character thus matured will give hope of the happiest results in new relations, and amid all the coming and unknown scenes that await her. L CHAPTER VII. SINGLE LIFE. A wrong idea. our being's end often filled with a MARRIAGE is not seldom regarded as and aim;" hence a young woman is feverish anxiety to form this connection, or at least to enter on its preliminaries, at an early period of her life. We believe there are thousands who never so much as ask themselves the question, "Is it certain that I must be married, or be miserable?" No, they assume that in one condition only can they be happy, and in that, therefore, let what may betide them, they must centre their every hope of coming peace. Now I believe this impression to be erroneous; and so disastrous are its consequences, that it should be removed from the mind of every girl who entertains it. God has not left woman but one alternative in this respect. Marriage is the general lot of her sex. It is productive of joys and blessings peculiar to itself. But not always, not of necessity. There may be, and there doubtless often is, great suffering in this connection. No small share of this might be ultimately traced to the fact that so many form this tie under the belief that they must be married; that all which concerns them is to as certain who the individual is, in whose hands they must place their whole earthly destiny. But although Providence did intend woman, in all ordinary cases, to enter the marriage state, yet precisely as much did He design some of this sex to remain single. He made all for the sake of character, usefulness and happiness. Every institution he appointed was to be instrumental in the production of these three grand objects. Hence woman was not made for marriage; but marriage for woman. If in any instance it shall appear that her improvement will probably be retarded by entering that state, or her usefulness less extensive, or her happiness evidently sacrificed, then is it manifest that she belongs to the class of exceptions. It is her duty to continue unmarried. So that it is not simply a choice among many suitors, with the necessity of selecting or accepting some one of them, that is given her, but the whole subject is to be seriously pondered. If, after doing this, she is convinced that no individual has offered her particular attentions, whose character promises to enhance her virtue, usefulness, or happiness, then should she calmly resolve, let the decision be painful, as it may, and perhaps must be, that she will remain, under present prospects, through life, as she is. But the reproach of being an " old maid," how can she endure this? I answer, let her not, in the first place, unduly magnify this reproach. I know that certain charges are preferred against " old maids," as this class are ignominiously termed, which do much to strengthen the impression just spoken of. They are said to possess an inordinate curiosity. Addison, like many others, alleges that old maids are given to credulity, and pours on them, for this reason, contempt and raillery. They are accused of disgusting affectation, of pretending to youth, to censorial importance, and to an exquisite sensibility. Finally, it is said, that they are notorious for envy, and ill-nature, being match-breakers, because themselves unmarried. Let these charges be destitute as they may of foundation, they doubtless impel many females to the determination that they must and will escape this terrific condition. But there is no portion of the community, whose opinion we should value, that will esteem a female the less for being in that condition where Providence has clearly placed her. It is not true that single ladies are usually despised, or subject to ridicule. Those who do suffer these things, have usually brought them upon themselves by a deportment which might have been shunned. Some have been derided for their excessive Reservedness of manner, for never permitting one of the opposite sex to address them, even indirectly, or scarcely to exchange a word with them. What else can the prude anticipate, or reasonably require, than that she be an object of reproach, if not of ridicule, for obstinately adhering to a manner that must result in her perpetual singleness of life? If she debar all access to herself, except from her own sex, misinterpret every word and all intimations of, and thus insulate herself from, any special acquaintance with any gentleman, let her bear the consequences without a syllable of discontent. A morbid sensitiveness, in reference to all such company, must, in most cases, seal one's doom. Perhaps a young maiden takes the opposite extreme. In her anxiety to fulfil what she deems her only possible destiny, she becomes Forward and assuming. She regards it as necessary to force attention toward herself. |