Envying bonnets, On all around them Gazing benignly: Singing divinely. Whispering slyly, Heeding no sernion; Prosy discourses Don't suit their whims; Plain they assemble Just for the "Hims." THE MILESTONE. GEORGE COOPER. Along the road two Irish lads One summer's day were walking, And all the while, with laugh and grin, In lively strain were talking About the fair, about the girls, And who were best at dancing; While at each pretty face they met Their eyes were brightly glancing. And so they strode for many a mile, At length, a milestone standing close And straightway up to it they went They read, and quickly doffed their hats, With sorrow in each face; Then lightly stepped above the sod, And turned to leave the place. "Spake low, we're near the dcad,” cried one, "His grave we'll not be troublin'; An old man, sure! 100, and His name is Miles from Dublin !" SCHNEIDER'S RIDE. [A parody on Sheridan's Ride.] From gross der rifer, ad broke of day, Vood be ofer in less as a hour or dwo Und vilder yed dem rumors dey flew, So he glosed der doors und barred dem dight, Of de gid dem oben before id's night, Who is der shmardesd, dem or me!" For a hour or dree no resd he got, Bud dere is a shidreed in Brooklyn down (Dot's a vonder id nefer vas used before), It vas righd in frond of der back of der shdore, Dey're mosd all loaded, und Schneider is gay, Dey're off, und noding is lef to show Shdill jumps dem horses, shdill on dey go, Dey're goin down hill, und fasder und fasder Dey're drifen ahead by Schneider, der masder, Who shduck to dem now like a poor man's blaster, For vell he knows dot if now he's dooked, He kin make ub his mind dot his goose vos cooked, So efery mussels dey pring in blay, Cause dey aind any more as den miles avay! Under dheir flyin' hoofs der road, Like a grade big mud gudder dot flowed, Und der flies dot had come all der vay from town, Now got tired und had to lay down To took a shmall resd upon der ground; For "Schneid" und der wagons, dem vent so fasd Dod efen der flies gifed oud at last; Der dust vas dick und der horses gray, Und Schneider vas fifdeen miles avay! Der wery first ding dot Schneider saw THE STUBBORN BOOT. "Bother!" was all John Clattery said. His breath came quick and his cheek was red, Harder and harder the fellow worked, Vainly and savagely still he jerked; The boot, half on, would dangle and flap- Redder than ever his hot cheek flamed; "My boy," said I, in a voice like a flute, In half the affairs The left hand shoe (Meaning reverse, sir), As quite of course, Any wrong foot In the right shoe Is the silliest thing A man can do. HOW THE OLD HORSE WON THE BET, OLIVER WENDELL HOLMES. 'Twas on the famous trotting ground, The betting men were gathered round From far and near; the "cracks were then Whose deeds the sporting prints declare; The swift g. m., old Hiram's nag, |