« 上一页继续 »
Exit mother, half distraught,
Exit father, muttering “Bore!"
"Want to see the monkeys more!"
THE HEIGHT OF THE RIDICULOUS.
0. W. HOLMES.
I wrote some lines once on a time
In wondrous merry mood,
They were exceeding good.
They were so queer-80 very queer,
I laughed as I would die ;
A sober man am I.
I called my servant and he came;
How kind it was of him
He of the mighty limb!
"These to the printer," I exclaimed,
And, in my humorous way
“There'll be the devil to pay." .
He took the paper, and I watched
And saw him peep within ;.
Was all upon the grin.
And shot from ear to ear;
I now began to hear,
The fourth; he broke into a roar: 1
The fifth, his waistband split;
And tumbled in a fit.
I watched that wretched man, And since I never dared to write
As funny as I can!
s'. THE TWINS. .
H. $. LEIGA,
I grew so like my brother,
And each for one another.
It reached a dreadful pitch;
And not a soul knew which.
Before our names were fix'd,
We got completely mix'd..
Or, rather, nurse's whim, My brother John was christened "me,”
While I was christened “him." This fatal likeness ever dogged
Our footsteps when at school, For I was always getting flogged
Since John turned out a fool. :
Absurd mistake went on
And buried vrother " Jolin."
FAITHLESS SALLY BROWN.
A carpenter by trade;
That was a lady's maid,
They met a press-gang crew ;
Whilst Ben he was brought to..
Enough to shock a saint,
'Twas nothing but a feint. I “Come girl," said he,“ hold up your head,
He'll be as good as me; For when your swain is in our boat .....
A boatswain he will be."
And taken off her elf,
A-coming to hersell.
She cried, and wept outright; “Then I will to the waterside
And see him out of sight."
A waterman came up to her
“Now, young woman," said he, “If you weep so, you will make
Eye-water in the sea."
"Alas! they've taken ny beau, Ben,
To sail with old Benbow ;'
and her woe began to run afresh,
As if she'd said gee woe! Says he, “They've only taken him .
To the tender ship, you see;". “The tender-ship," cried Sally Brown, What a hard-ship that must be!
"Oh, would I were a-mermaid now,
For then I'd follow him ; But, oh! I'm not a fishwoman,
And so I cannot swim.
"Alas! I was not born beneath
The virgin and the scales ;
And walk about in Wales."
Now, Ben had sailed to many a place
That's underneath the world, But in two years the ship came home
And all her sails were furled.
But when he called on Sally Brown,
To see how she got on,
Whose Christian name was John.
"O, Sally Brown, O, Sally Brown,
How could you serve me so ?
But never such a blow!"
Then reading on his 'bacco-box,
He heaved a heavy sigh, And then began to eye his pipe,
And then to pipe his eye. And then he tried to sing "All's well,” .. But could not, though he triod;
His head was turned, and so he chewed
His pigtail till he died.
At forty odd befel;
The sexton tolled the bell.
SEVEN TIMES TEN.
[After Jean Ingelow.]
This beautiful morn, but then
To-day I'm seven times ten.
Without my specs on nose;
And gout's in two of my toes. O moon! in the night I have seen you floating
At the sweet age of nineteen years, While a maudlin goose at my side was quoting
Lord Byron and shedding tears.
In your quiet manner and cool.
The wish to act like a fool ?
Not pretty, and quite a scold.
You were eighteen carat gold!
Don't open it, please, a bit;
I'm mortally tired of it!