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observations were made, as the two friends and Hornet's sister were seated at a breakfast table — “ Glauber races! you surely mean Epsom."
Epsom or Glauber, it's all one to me,' said Hornet; “I know it's a place where some physicking salts come from. And then look at this egg-I suppose
fashionable hôtels you'll have to pay double price for an egg with a half-hatched chicken in it -humbug! And do you call this milk? it's just fit for a baptist missionary to dip a savage in ; but as it is a gilt mug, no doubt it will be charged as cream. Now, had we brought up at the Saracen’s Head, where the coach stopped, all might have been snug and comfortable.” Ay, a pretty hôtel to write
one's card,” said Sir Thomas Green.
Better put on it the address of a decent respectable house, where you do live,” replied Hornet, “than sport the name of a fashionable one, where you can't live. Well, well, you wanted to see London--here we are ;
and I hope, my dear Sir Thomas, you will not be disappointed in your expectations of delight.”
“ Hornet,” replied Green, “Sir me again, and we shall quarrel. Is it because I succeeded to a baronetcy, that you cease to call me Tom Green, as heretofore ?”
“No, no,” replied Hornet ; “I don't care the hind quarter of a midge for your
baronetcy: but a fortune came in with it as a make-weight. You are now rich; and Louisa and I are poor : were I to call a baronet Tom, Jack, or Harry, some insolent coxcomb would call me as impertinent a fellow as himself; and as I never allow any one to take liberties with me, I make it à point not to take liberties with others. Louisa, that's a good girl—pull the bell for some more toast; and give it a good jerk, for as we came here in a hackney coach, I suppose we must pull the bell out by the roots before any of your pampered varlets will condescend to answer it.' Louisa Hornet did not exactly comply
with her brother's injunctions; but pulling the bell-rope somewhat less gently than she would have done at home, it came down on her head. The fact was, that our party occupied a room that was not the most elegant in the establishment; and no doubt prior tenants, of the same opinion as Hornet, had, by dint of perseverance, obtained attendance, and in their efforts loosened the tintinabulum. “ There we go!” exclaimed Hornet ; “ can't say—try it again'—told you how 'twould be ; but egad, if they have ears they shall hear !"
So saying, Mr. Hornet opened the door, and stepping out on the landing place (they were on the third floor), roared out “Waiter, waiter !" in a manner that would have done credit to any town-crier. The only reply to his summons was an observation from some exquisite person who happened to be going down stairs, which was not particularly civil or complimentary. “What savage is kick-ing up such an infernal up-roar?
say, you sir, you'll-a-dis-a-turb-my gover
nor.” As the person who thus expressed himself in a lisping soprano voice, looked up the stairs, Hornet perceived that the ejaculation proceeded from a young gentleman wrapped in a splendid brocade dressing-gown, with a fur cap on his head, and embroidered velvet slippers on his feet.
In an instant the fiery and impetuous Hornet would have rushed on the stranger, had not Green and his sister laid hold of him, as he roared out, in a baritone voice that could only have been properly accompanied by an ophicleide, “You son of a seacook, wait a bit and I'll teach you what savage means !"
It was fortunate, perhaps, for the young gentleman, who happened to be a lordling, and whose father was in reality confined by illness to his room, that Hornet was prevented from putting his threat into execution; for admitting that the young gentleman might have received a scientific education at Eton or Harrow, Hornet was what is called an ugly customer, six feet high, built in
proportion, and a tolerable good hand at his fists.
“ I'll tell you what, Green,” he said, as he was forcibly seated again at the breakfast table, “ I'll not remain in this tip-top concern; Louisa and I'll go and look for other quarters, and I'm told that the Blue Boar is an excellent one in this part of the
“ The Blue Boar, my dear fellow !” exclaimed his friend, " why, that's the vulgar inn talked of in the play, you know—the Heir at Law."" “ Play or no play,”
play,” said Hornet, “I don't care the eye-tooth of a flea ; this is all a farce, and a very bad farce too. I tell you once more it's all trash, humbug-sheer imposition-carried on on the tailoring system, where those who can pay, make up for what is lost by those who can't —fools supporting knaves. I knew how it would be, when I saw the fellows grin as we stepped out of the coach : it was either a smile of contempt at our folly, or a