HIS MAJESTY'S FURNITURE. [From the British Press.] THE King, we learn, has ordered his tradesmen to provide him with a NEW CABINET. This order has excited a good deal of surprise; as that in His Majesty's possession, at present, is little more than a year old, not a bit the worse for wear, perfectly sound, of most excellent materials, and of great value. It has been reported, that there were some cracks and flaws in it; but, upon a late and close inspection, it has been pronounced one of the most compact and solid pieces of workmanship imaginable. The New Cabinet is to stand upon an old block of Portland stone. The artificers who have undertaken to execute it are not remarkable for taste or genius; and the materials of which it is to be composed do not promise that it will be either useful or ornamental. The principal timbers are said to be a piece of old Scots fir, from Melville Castle, and an Irish pollard from Castlereagh. These, with a few chips and fragments of the old Cabinet, which fell to pieces on the death of Mr. Pitt, are the whole of its component parts. The workmen, finding them very supple and pliant, can bend them to their will, and make them assume whatever shape or place they think, fit; but they complain, that some of them, particularly the Castlereagh Pollard, is of a bad grain, that some are dozed, and others spungy and hollow. It is not supposed, that the most ingenious artificer could make a really good article of such materials; or that all the state glue and oil of influence in the kingdoni will suffice to make the New Cabinet shine, or hold together for six months. March 24. THE THE TEMPLES AND THE CHURCH. The following Impromptu was found suspended to the door of the official residence of the Paymaster General of the Forces, at Whitehall, on the morning of the 25th of March 1807, and is supposed to allude to the expected removal of a certain brass-plate, which has been attached to the above door, since Christmas last, by the present noble resident. A [From the Morning Post.] Templa quam dilecta!!! How beloved are the temples of the gods!!! YE E loungers, us'd each morn to call, THE PATENT RAT TRAP. [From the British Press.] GREAT House in Westminster, situate near the river, has, within these few days, evinced symptoms of being infested with Rats. They have beea tracked in their movements from one side of it to the other, principally in the direction of what is called the Treasury Bench. They are neither Norway Rats nor Water Rats, but a species of Land Rats, very fond of rotten boroughs. These vermin are apt to make their appearance about the time of a change of Ministry, in consequence, we presume, of its being the season of a plentiful distribution of loaves and fishes. Some of them have been known to enter St. Stephen's Chapel, as poor as church mice, where they have soon become as plump as the weaze! in the fable, and never since found their way out. They possess a most voracious *The family motto of the Noble Lord. appetite, appetite, and, by an extraordinary instinct, attach themselves to every new Minister. The candle-ends and cheese-parings with which that gentleman is supplied, are considered the cause of attraction, and not oil of rhodium, or other vulgar rat-catching device. A gentleman, who had long and successful practice in the art and mystery of rat-catching, during the Administration of Mr. Pitt, but left off business when that gentleman went out of office, has, within these few days, resumed his practice. Apply at the George and Rose, Palace Yard, Westminster. March 31. WHE « ALL THE TALENTS," &c. [From the Morning Post.] HEN the broad-bottom'd junto, with reason at strife, When converted to Rome, and of honesty tir'd, "Here Petty's finance from the evils to come, Neither dines with the Jordan, nor whines for the church. "Then huzza! for the party that here are at rest, By the tools of a faction regretted and blest ; Though they sleep with the devil, yet theirs is the hope, On the downfal of Britain, to rise with the Pope." March 31. VOL. XI. F CIVIC CIVIC ANECDOTE. THE Lord Mayor, finding himself whimsically implicated in the present change, held a Council of Inquiry, on Friday, at the Mansion House, to learn whether, having already invited the old Ministers, as usual, to his Easter dinner, he must, in point of civic étiquette, send cards of invitation to the new Ministers also! His Remembrancer, heing called upon for his opinion, declared that he did not recollect a case in point: however, Sir W. Curtis settled the matter, by saying, "By G-d, my Lord, you must give a dinner to them all! I'd stuff both sets of them; the old one from charity, and the new one from policy, whom you may make pay well for it in due time." March 31. SIR, WE THE DISGRACE. [From the Morning Chronicle] HILE I fully agree with you in most of the reflections you have offered on the present strange attempt that is making to botch and darn the wornout rags of ૧ worn-out faction, I must differ from you, and from certain gentlemen in a certain Assembly, who have thrown out insinuations against those persons who are making good bargains in their own favour, and are for having something down before they commence their services. If you will please to take a view of those gentlemen, their present situation, and their future prospects, you cannot be surprised if they charge a good deal more than the mere price of labour, and charge it upon account of an article which I shall not name, but endeavour to illustrate it by a short story. Dr. Shebbeare once wrote a very libellous pamphlet, phlet, for which he was sentenced to stand in the pillory. The Doctor never had much decency in his writings, but he had not lost the sense of shame. (I protest, Sir, I mean no comparisons; I am sure I cannot be supposed to allude to any of the new men.) But, however, the Doctor, being a little ashamed of his elevation, hired an Irish chairman to hold an umbrella over his head during the painful ceremony, and for this service the Doctor rewarded him with a guinea. Next day the chairman called upon him, and hoped his Honour was well-began to hum! and ha! as if he had more to say. The Doctor, suspecting his drift, said, "My friend, what do you want? I thought I paid you yesterday very handsomely." "To be sure now," said Pat, " and so you did for the trouble; but, plase your honour, consider the DISGRACE!" FULL well I know the people say, That "P -d's Duke has had his day, His brain, by sickness long depress'd, « Let him, in his official seat, To fawn and lick the dust; He's too well known to be believ'd, |